I don’t really know how I’m gonna start this off, but please bear with me. I know that I’m gonna ramble, maybe none of these might make much sense, but one thing is certain. I won’t be roleplaying anymore.
It feels a little heavy to type these words out, since this hobby is filled with many ups and downs, as well as that this is a hobby that I sincerely loved (and hated for a time). It was 2011 when I started roleplaying on this website, after hearing of it from a friend from another fandom. Then came 2017, I made this blog on a whim when I asked myself if I could play Reimu for real. At first, I laughed it off. But, the thought kept popping back at random times, and after a while, it stroke me curious if I could really pull it off. Looking back on that, I think I pulled this off alright, not particularly bad but not particularly good either.
I’ve roleplayed for a lot longer than these 8 years, but if you had asked me years ago if I would be doing this for this long, I would’ve flat-out said no. But thanks to the friends, and former friends, that I’ve met throughout the years that I’ve been doing this, I kept going back to this little hobby of mine. But now that I’ve decided that I’d stop this, well, it’s gonna be awkward for me to not visit this place ever so often. Hell, it’s gonna be even more awkward as it’ll be more difficult to talk to my friends that I’ve made here since I’m awful at making topics LMAO
But, keeping a long story short, I won’t be roleplaying anymore because I can’t keep up with roleplaying anymore. Its gotten to a point that, despite my attempts to turn it around, fun became work. I dreaded the day that I will have to write the drafts, even if I’m invested in the thread. My brain fails to cooperate, and it’s not even because I’m having an off-day or anything, but I wish it was. It just became more difficult for me to continue, and the longer I stall, the worse I felt despite my attempts to ignore that nagging feeling. There are also other things I’d like to try, other hobbies and what not, so I believe that it might just be for the best for me to stop roleplaying. Well, it’s not like I’m actively RPing anymore, I’m literally just posting one liners and calling it a day nowadays.
Still, this is the final nail in the coffin, or so they say. I’m still angry at myself for not being able to continue on with this, but I tried and I tried, and it just didn’t work out no matter how much attempts I tried to reinvigorate this. I hate that I’m leaving specially after all the things I did just recently to reinvent the blog and the muse, but it is what it is and this is what I believe I need. With that said, this will be my last post here before I kick back and eat a whole lot of ice cream tonight.
In the end, all I can really say is thank you. Thank you for being part of my life for the brief 2 year off-and-on moment that I’ve been here, whether you hate me or like me, or whatever else. That’s all I can really say now. Thank you very much.
