Sometimes hurt people actually hurt people. Sometimes these hurt people counter act friend’s problems like cataracts. Spreading. Blinding those who are always hurt, to anything, except their own blindness. Sometimes these people that hurt, hurt people until those people can no longer stand the hurt. In fact, it’s hard to stand at all and the person who is always hurt pushes others down further. Deepening the wound. Darkening the hope. Who is left standing, then? Choices are made, wounds are many. But when the always hurt are faced with the knowledge that they’ve hurt another, denial is imminent.
“I couldn’t hurt anyone, I’m so very sad. I wouldn’t want anyone to be as sad as me.” Yea, well you have no idea who you’re stabbing in the heart every time you deny that anyone else could possible hurt as much as you. And, knowing that, who cringes every time you say “I” or “me”, when you CLAIM you want “we”. Well WE tried we, it’s just you now, and there’s no stopping that. Except to leave you with yourself. Because what else could you need right? We aren’t robots to your fleshy royalty. We aren’t droids built to sit by you and agree with all that you say. We are friends, look up the definition. Not everyone is going to agree, quit repeating things until we say what you want to hear, what you need to hear to move on. Take responsibility. Life isn’t just going to agree with everything you say, you are not a work of art in a museum and neither are we, you are an unfinished canvas in a painters shop, the painter is you and only you can finish the piece. We won’t feed you prizes for your denial anymore. Figure it out.
“I don’t have the strength in me to hurt another, I’m having a hard time they obviously don’t get it.” We get it. You’re not the only one with problems. And no one is that stupid. Those who are hurt have gone so many miles to hold your hair back when you’ve had too much, hold your hand when your boyfriend said something rash (in your eyes), shove things down your throat, as it regurgitates words that explain all of the problems you’ve been having, when you need the right nourishment. While some of us sit with things on our minds, unshareable at the moment, or really any moment when understanding and genuine compassion is seeked. By all means let’s all forget that those who were there, were there for so long, and now that they need their space, let’s put them on the chopping block. Let’s ignore their anxieties and their issues because this time they needed to think about them instead of you. I forgot you were our idol of worship, I forgot that tending to your every need was like water to a precious flower. When in reality, it’s throwing water at dirt. Mucking up reality and losing clarity in the process. Never solving or working anything out. I’m tired of loving you, and I took the chance, in fact, we all took the chance of loving you so much that, in turn, we’re sharing with you for once, problems, fears, the things that the always hurt have hurt. But unfortunately, offense is such a powerful defense.
Not once have I ever been or felt so broken, especially at the mention that we should just “forgive and forget”. When people forgive and forget for so long, it starts to weigh on their hearts, their minds, their shoulders. The thought that we are finally coming to you and sharing our hurt, trying to grasp your hurt, so that you will equally and genuinely understand our hurt and realize that we will always understand and care for your hurt shouldn’t be unheard of. We can understand each other. Mend all of the hurt. Instead of just trying to understand you. Life is a two way street. It’s time you focused on both of them.
