* / play the fool

the greatest kindness i could do onto myself is to pretend i don't see it, i don't hear it and that i would never speak of it.

[iseulfey]

A Celebratory Snack ||

junghwa

    “besides…I’m sure I’m way better company than the bitchy lady and her vampire lover? Sugar daddy? He seems a little young…” he narrowed his gaze towards the woman who had called him a worthless idiot. “He’s like…200? 250?….Ah, regardless, it’s an age of gullibility and naivete,” he hummed, remembering himself at that age. It had been around the time that he’d decided to spend time in Italy almost three centuries ago. He then looked at his companion. “In the very least, I would like to have your name, so that I’m mentally not calling you a snack the whole time, becuase that’s just rude,” he rambled on. 

     “Junghwa. I’m Junghwa. As for payment, well, rest assured I can afford to spoil myself,” he hummed, a casual smirk gracing his lips. 

     iseul couldn’t help the tiny wince he felt when the vampire reassured him that he pays no mind to the ‘ petty insult ’. so he did hear, iseul inwardly sighed. he didn’t have much faith in the fact that the vampire was unbothered; everyone said that, it’s only polite to say that after all. iseul could make the decision if the other was truly unbothered in the time he was going to spend with him. at the sound of celebration, iseul’s eyes flickered to the vampire, averting from the lush seat. celebrating the day he died? was turned? “ what a, memorable, occasion. ” the human mindlessly comments as he trailed the other’s motions, taking this moment to get a good look at the vampire’s outfit before his line of sight floated away. this once over only confirmed his prior thoughts on how the vampire differed from the others he has met so far. strange.

     though his next words made iseul itch to turn back, to look to where his mother and her lover sat, to gauge their reaction to this vampire’s words. ( because surely, if the vampire heard his mother’s words, the opposite would be the same wouldn’t it? must be a vampiric hearing thing. ) he could only afford a polite smile as he pushed the thoughts of his mother and her lover to the back of his mind. best case scenario: they’re too engrossed in each other and maybe another human blood bag for the night to pay him any heed. iseul tried not to dwell on other scenarios. though, he did tuck the vampire’s speculation of her lover’s age in his mind. 

     “ ah, yes, i’m iseul. ” he had responded and promptly regretted. no other vampires that fed on him had asked about his name of all things and now that he had let it slip, his mind is running amok. he shouldn’t have given out his real name now should he? that’s traceable, contactable and just stupid. this is a vampire! what is he even doing, getting familiar with what is essentially a blood bag? iseul could not fathom as his sight drifted from the table to him albeit with a tiny grimace at the slip of his tongue. “ nice to meet you, junghwa-ssi. that is good to hear, i am very honoured. ” he replied and realised that it really wasn’t much conversation-wise. 

     junghwa seemed intent on socialising, enjoying his time talking before feeding. maybe he was the talkative type. iseul had not much experience with the sorts but he wasn’t going to let the vampire down. this is an establishment and iseul is a product who has to sell and market himself to a certain extent. he could do customer satisfaction, he would. “ maybe you could tell me a little more about this occasion? you said you were here to celebrate? ” he took a step towards the available seat at junghwa’s table, letting his eyes stay on the other to gauge his reaction to iseul moving to sit. if he didn’t like it, iseul could stand but it’s always easier sitting down, especially if it seemed like junghwa would like to have him for longer than he had anticipated.

[iseulfey]

junghwa

A Celebratory Snack ||

He settled at a booth with a grin, staring at all his fellow vampires around him with a casual grin. “So, anything new, anyone?” he asked, not surprised that he didn’t get a response at all, very chill, before looking at the kid who ended up approaching him. “Oh? You must be a new human here~ I haven’t seen you here before! I like to get to know my snacks before hand so come join me!” Junghwa exclaimed with a grin. He noticed one of the other vampires looking at him in slight annoyance. “I take it, you come here with others?” he asked. He knew how being a human contributor worked, but he didn’t care. If he could annoy a few of those vapid vampires, his goals were accomplished. 

     they usually let him have at the last drop bar himself. his mother and her lover doesn’t need to physically be there to know his schedule at the bar; which day he came in, the precise duration of his stay, his trade off and the amount of money exchanged. iseul doesn’t think about their methods too much, just lives with the fact that they have a hold of this information and work around it. as long as the money matches up at the end of the day, they could care less for how he got his hands on it. still, there are visits where he is summoned to go with them and this is one such day. 

     his mother is practically in the vampire’s lap and they are entertaining themselves, leaned close and whispering, laughing about something iseul can’t quite make out as he nurses a cup of sweaty cold water. usually he’d like to get in, get it over with and get out; there’s no reason to dally, iseul honestly doesn’t want to stay in the bar beyond what he absolutely needs to. however, when he is forced to accompany them, he is only a puppet, acting at their whims and they don’t take kindly to him moving on his own. he keeps his eyes trained on the glass, watching the water droplets as they give in to gravity, trickle down, clump into bigger droplets and slide down more until it is stopped by his hand and - “ didn’t you hear him? go show him a ‘ good time ’. the idiot looks worthless but i trust you know how much to negotiate for. ” that makes iseul look up and towards the couple before looking where his mother points with a manicured finger. the target for tonight then. “ don’t dilly dally, get over there. ” with that, iseul stands and made his way towards the other vampire. 

     my snacks. “ yes, nice to meet you. please don’t take them to heart, you can do whatever you would like. ” iseul hoped the other hadn’t heard his mother’s comment about him, having to feed an irritated vampire isn’t on his agenda and iseul would truly appreciate if his mother didn’t make things more difficult for him than it needs to be. though, iseul must admit, from the few glimpses he has taken of the new vampire, the man in front of him really isn’t in line with what he’s observed of the vampire patrons around them or the other vampires iseul has seen. at least fashion-wise. “ we can discuss the exchange and get to it immediately, i wouldn’t want to intrude on your time. ” iseul adds as he glances at the vampire before averting his eyes to his table, waiting for an agreement hopefully.

[iseulfey]

* / before i run my mouth.

     iseul has seen the vampire around, always lurking by the entrance of the bar; animated, touchy and loud. and so, he has heard the other’s proposition too, a private deal just between the two of them; no third parties, no stuffy back rooms, no need to satisfy a different set of fangs each time they come around and be subjected to subpar rates. he could offer top dollar, is open to negotiation and can set up a better atmosphere for a much better experience. even separated by a good amount of distance, iseul can hear how persuasive the vampire can get. it’s always a ‘ yes, anything you want, of course ’ from him and even as iseul’s trying to pin down an appointment for the night, he notices that more often than not, the humans leave with him. ( and more often than not, iseul never sees them again but there’s a myriad of reasons why that could be. he is not about to go down the worst line of thought. it’s not something for him to bother himself with, he can barely take care of himself. right, right. )

     before he was led to the backrooms, iseul had seen the vampire getting along amicably with another human and he had thought that was it for the night, he’s done it yet again and before he could dwell on it further, iseul shelved it into the back of his mind, out of reach and out of sight. he has more than enough things to worry about, he can’t take on more. so, imagine his surprise when he steps out of the bar, takes 2 steps and is cornered by the very same vampire he’s only seen and heard from a distance. alarm bells go off in iseul’s head immediately but he is frozen in his spot as the vampire introduces himself and starts the spiel iseul has only heard in passing. except it’s so loud and the vampire is leaning forward and iseul can’t help but take a step back and he advances, maintaining their distance. he should sidestep the vampire, should move around him and turn him down, be firm about it! alas, it’s so much easier said than done and iseul can only barely stutter out rejections, eyes darting around, hoping desperately he reads the rejection from iseul’s behaviour and just give up his attempt.

     he has to be careful, it’d be the end if he accidentally entered into a deal with this vampire ( or any vampire for that matter but in present time, this vampire ). afraid that he’d somehow let slip an ‘ okay ’ or even an ‘ i’ll consider ’ or any answer indicative that he is anything but a hard ‘ no ’ , iseul opts to stay silent and inch himself backwards and away from the vampire.

( @yujinfey ! )

[iseulfey]

* / all we need is a little alcohol.

     iseul goes through life with his head down, eyes glued to the ground, staying out of people’s way, trying to live his life around others’, giving in to others’ whims after entirely futile resistance. as an individual, iseul is horribly terrible at standing up for himself or voicing his opinions but as an employee, a part-time worker, those rules etched into his bones shift. there is a certain responsibility to being a cashier, a server, a cleaner even. he has to ensure he collects the correct amount of money, answer phone calls, tend to inquires, make sure the place is as spotless as it gets and without compromising himself or his colleagues, provide a pleasant experience to their patrons. the expectations of him as a worker is enough to override his usual self and makes iseul - if only just a little - easier to approach and maintain a conversation with. topics about work is comfortable, small talk between difficult customers encouraging. it’s easier to be just a struggling part-time worker rather than, well, himself. 

      perhaps it’s not so strange that iseul finds most of his bonds in his changing cycle of co-workers. from one place to the next, other part-timers joining the roster or leaving for something more, something new. and among them there’s minho, one of his co-workers at a fried chicken and beer place. it’s not always they get to work a shift together because of iseul’s absolutely wrecked work schedule trying to earn as much money as physically possible and trying to fit his handful of part-time commitments into a weekly schedule. surely, minho has his own schedule and commitments too so when they do happen to be on the same closing shift, iseul looks forward to it. it’s nothing terribly grand but it’s enough to be a sort of ‘ healing time ’ he supposes, a time to unwind with friends, to be normal even outside of work and it’s all thanks  to the alcohol. 

     they settle on the steps near the han river where the breeze blows this late into the night and there’s only the occasional runner on the tracks, it’s quiet enough to unwind but not entirely silent to where iseul is lost in his thoughts. the chicken and beers are pulled out from their plastic bags and the two of them divide the portions between them, breaking up the chewing with small talks that just flows and everything just seems so simple and easy if only for this moment. they talk about everything and nothing and there’s no pressure; it’s comfortable being with minho, iseul has long decided so maybe that’s why his alcohol addled brain loosens up and tries to unload some of its troubles onto his kind-hearted co-worker. “ minho-ssi, have you seen, well erm, twilight? like the movies, series. or maybe, read the book? because it, erm, came from a book. ” yeah, that’s natural. that’s good, unsuspecting, good job iseul.

( @feyminho ! )

[realstraykids]

soft ♡

[iseulfey]

* / two portions of bravery.

— a solo piece about that which was two ! [ trigger warnings: bullying, child abuse, violence ]

     occasionally, really just occasionally, iseul remembers his older sister. it’s in the 3am walk home alone after a late closing shift without the company of music ( just in case ), it’s in the quiet lull at the old bookstore that barely sees any customers where the old owner lets him sleep on the shift during rough times, it’s in the spaces between his hectic life that he’s trying to avoid, he remembers her. but she is frozen in time; even as he has grown, she hasn’t. iseul sees her at 16 with her hair in a short bob and with tears in her eyes before she turned and walked out the house without so much as a flinch even as their mother upheaved the dining table, threw utensils at the closing door and was screaming bloody murder. noh yeseul comes to him when he is alone with his thoughts; no music, no orders, just himself. it’s just a little different from how she used to find him, iseul supposed.

     they were always enrolled in the same school and before long, those in iseul’s year knew not to fuck around with him unless they were keen on incurring yeseul’s wrath. sure, he was an easy target who could barely straighten his spine or look anyone in the eye even as he was cornered but she had a sharp tongue, a loud voice and fists that weren’t afraid to strike out. their schools were never particularly famous for being an upstanding school that turned out scholars so fights often ended up with community hours or a good ol’ reflection piece that iseul helped to write because “ this really isn’t apologetic enough, they’re going to make you write 2 pieces if you turn this in you know? ”

     she often joked that she had both their portions of bravery while iseul held both their portions of fears so she had to protect them both. it didn’t matter if it was their absent father’s threats, their mother’s emotional outbursts or petty bullies, she stood in front of him and held all of them off. she had a good head on her and she knew her way around her battles, could always wriggle both of them into a relatively safer position, hold her advantage and use it as far as it would last her and not emerge absolutely torn apart. she fought tooth and nail for both of them. of course, of course she would one day tire. 

     “ this isn’t life. you know this isn’t, iseul-ah. ” she deflated as they cleared up yet another set of broken plates and bowls. iseul hummed, keeping a close eye on the jagged pieces, careful to not nick himself. “ you can’t be happy with this. there’s so much more to this, we shouldn’t have to live like this, we don’t have to live like this and you know it too. ” she spoke with certainty, without a shadow of doubt as she leaned back on her heels to look at iseul directly. but what can we do? we can’t just run away, iseul trailed off, darting his eyes to her before roaming the sea of shattered ceramic between them. “ that’s what they want you to think! why can’t we go? she won’t come looking for us and he pretends we don’t even exist, they wouldn’t care. ” she wasn’t wrong but iseul knew from the depths of his heart that they wouldn’t let either yeseul or himself go. he couldn’t see either his father nor mother do so; they were liabilities to their father and lives to exploit to get more out of her lover to their mother. yeseul resolved to leave and by the end of the night, as they were tucked into their beds, she was certain she was going to find an out.

     it would only take 9 months before her dreams become a reality. their father was the toughest obstacle to overcome but once he had been conquered, noh yeseul was free to go and disappear from the face of the earth for all he cared. they came to an agreement that yeseul never delved into details about with iseul. she didn’t have that kind of time; she had to be gone immediately and disappear from his sight by midnight, while he was still charitable. she couldn’t dilly-dally, she had to pack her essentials and iseul couldn’t be counted as one. they barely said a proper goodbye before their mother rushed in in a frenzy and tried to stop yeseul. iseul only managed a tiny wave and a smile amidst the chaos and yeseul could only spare him a quiet “ i’m sorry, i’ll give you your bravery back, you’ll need it. ” and she left even as their mother dragged at her and iseul stood in the eye of the unfolding storm and he knew this was going to be the last time he saw her in a long long time so he burned her retreating figure into his mind. it’s the same back he stared at resolutely, the back he hid behind, the back that carried him and sheltered him. and then it’s a shut door. 

[iseulfey]

     hihi, it’s been a hot while since i’ve written but i’m super excited to be here and thankful for the welcome i’ve received so far !! i’m steph (she/her) and i bring my runner of a child, noh iseul !! he’s 21 and a human who knows about the existence of vampires but that’s about as far as his awareness goes. generally, he is super conflict averse and bad at meeting people’s eyes so you’ll catch him eyeing the floors or walls even in conversations but he’s working on it, slowly. to keep up with his mother’s demands and to support himself, he usually works any and all part time jobs that will have him so it’s probable you’ll see him around !! i’ll leave more information under the cut since i haven’t had time to set up pages but if anything catches your eyes feel free to like this intro and i’ll pop into your messages or feel free to drop into mine, see you around !!

[ trigger warning: threats of murder, implied child abuse ]

born between a famous tech tycoon and his mistress, iseul’s home life was more than complicated. between a father who would never acknowledge the fruits of an affair and a mother obsessed only with what their father could give her, he only had his older sister to count on. they were each other’s pillar of support for the longest time and if it wasn’t for each other, iseul doubts they would have made it through their early years.

but good things never last long. his sister was always the stronger one, more motivated, more action-driven. she knew what she wanted and she knew what she had to do to get it. in the end, she came to an agreement with their father and left the house, to be her own person, to be free. she didn’t take iseul with her.

as his father attained more power and prestige, mother and son were considered liabilities to his growing empire so he cut them off with a hefty threat that should they ever breathe a word or show up in front of him again, he’d get rid of them once and for all.

thus, they settled into a small apartment building. his mother blew through all the money his father gave her as a parting gift and smoothly turned to iseul for money. iseul worked to support himself and her while she enjoyed her life without a worry, often disappearing for days or weeks at a time. it wasn’t bad since iseul could be left alone.

one day she turns up with a stunning lover who seems to take such good care of her, giving her everything she could desire and more. money, dresses, purses, perfumes, high end restaurants and immortality. as iseul would find out, his mother’s new lover is a vampire and his mother is intent on becoming one to spend the rest of eternity with him. 

iseul is honestly terrified of the vampire lover but there’s nothing he could do, no one he can count on. so he does as his mother orders and tries to stay out of their way, promising that he would never let out a peep about their relationship or his true identity. iseul just goes around with his head down as he has done for years, a quiet child.

the one change that has been significant is his visits to the last drop bar. realising how much iseul could bring in just by letting other vampires drink from him (courtesy of her lover), his mother has come to expect much more from iseul’s contributions to her. and her lover just seems to know when he has been and when he hasn’t, iseul isn’t interested in incurring either of their wraths so he goes and he does what he needs.

potential plot points !!

friends !! they could have met from his various part-time jobs or any other way but iseul would definitely be happy to have them and to hang out with them between his busy work schedule for a slice of simplicity.

vampires who get a drink at the last drop bar !! iseul has to go once a month or once every week depending on his mother’s demands and this jittery boy who seemingly refuses to meet anyone’s eyes and would rather be anywhere else have gotten your attention.

witches, familiars and werewolves !! he has absolutely no idea other supernaturals exist and you could open his eyes to more. can’t promise you he won’t just run out of there and pretend he saw nothing but ah.

hunters !! those who are concerned about his involvement at the last drop bar or his involvement with his mother’s lover. those who think he’s working for his mother’s lover. honestly could be either way or more but iseul is going to be tight-lipped and playing dumb if confronted about his knowledge of vampires for sure. 

[wonstals]

HAN JISUNG 210409 VLIVE ♡

[ravenresources]

              i’m nothing special.