my charcuterie board of bullshit

Lark • they/them • 18+ • bi • jewish • fandom content and leftist political content • i love my trans homies • if you're here bc you read one of my fanfics yell at me to write plz •

[arsonistsfirefly]

:)

[errorbasket]

Molting Spider

[atomikats]

inspired.

[kordyceps]

I've been back on this hellsite (affectionate) for nearly two weeks now and realized I have not seen a single piece of fanart featuring Grace in his obscene adorable lil EVA undersuit and so ofc had to rectify this injustice immediately.

[eightyonekilograms]

I'm playing correspondence chess with my brother and don't feel like making a move tonight but wanted to make sure I did it tomorrow, so I wrote "move against brother" in my TODO list before realizing that sounds kind of insane.

[phaeton-flier]

#AncientPrinceProblems

[sage-thyme]

It’s better than “make a move on brother” I suppose

[hornworts]

Advertisement for studded Crisco can covers by P.C. Leathers, c 1980s

[charlesoberonn]

Imagine being a civilian on a Starfleet starship.

"How was your day, honey?" "Not great. Had to pick the kids from school early because the ship went back in time. There's a confused Roman centurion in the living room, btw. How was your day?" "Couldn't get much work done because Jerry got taken over by a space parasite." "Again?" "I think at this point he's doing it on purpose."

[sign-seeker]

Child in the Enterprise daycare, drawing a picture entitled My Family: "This is me and this is my daddy and this is my daddy's transporter duplicate and this is my mommy and this is the subspace entity that poses as human that used mommy as it's template that calls itself her sister and this is our dog and this is the shape-shifting salt-vampire that snuck on board disguised as our dog but decided it likes dog food better than salt so now we have two dogs."

[charlesoberonn]

"And this is my brother Jacob."

"Why is he gray?"

"I tried to make him transparent to show how he doesn't fully exist in this timestream."

[handwrittenhello]

i just saw a post encouraging various fanfiction habits (like going through bookmarks, leaving comments, etc.), saying they're not weird, don't worry, keep fanfiction culture alive! and i totally agree with the sentiment, but i also want to add:

fanfiction is weird. writing it is weird, reading it is weird, gushing about it to your friends is weird! it's a weird hobby, it wasn't even that long ago that most people wouldn't dare mention it to real-life acquaintances, and in some circles it can STILL have social consequences to admit. many people don't spend hours of their day thinking about The Character, or putting blorbo in a blender, or imagining themselves in fantastical situations.

BE WEIRD! unlearn shame! you share the proud tradition of a weird subculture defined by love and passion and community--one that goes back decades, if not more. embrace the weird and stop letting fear of being shamed get in the way of what YOU enjoy. be weird!!

[camilleflyingrotten]

In its right place

[greelin]

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

[yves-and-scessernee]

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

[so-much-to-read-deactivated2025]

[half-giant-fighter]

[contourkit-deactivated20160224]

What if everything gets better in 2016

[melonisopod]

[houndmother]

[picklerocket]

[fandoms-run-my-life]

[lokaror]

GOUGAR CLAIMS COOL ROCK

[ubersaur]

God forbid women do anything

[justpastsaturn]

She had a good time, too

[bpdritsu]

me: (googling) snake bite leg what to do

google: elevate and apply pressure

me: (lifting snake real high) apologize or else

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.

Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.

No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Easy carb add on:

Cookie

Fruit (canned or fresh)

Chips

Piece of bread

Popcorn

Crackers

Easy protein add on:

Nuts

Spoonful of nut butter

Cheese

Roasted chickpea snacks

Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)

Small canned sausages or similar

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sugar in there.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

[dni-archive]

[abysslll]

[itsladykit]

Motion Picture Association of America.

[waywardworldhopper]

Entertainment Software Rating Board

[adz]

im in the pussy like turmeric in tupperware

[adz]

nods serenely

[miiilowo]

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

[miiilowo]

this goes for like, all of time. knights are serving the KING? the fucking KING?

[miiilowo]

you cant serve cunt and the government at the same time come on now pick the right side i know you have it in you

[vivian-the-barbarian]

Jesus said this. Matthew 6:24

[miiilowo]

jesus said this

[demonnstein]