Why am I still here? (Is my blog doing harm?) A long post by me.
Edit: I'm keeping this blog up for archiving reasons. Please do not like or reblog posts or you will force me to delete it.
So I've been thinking a lot lately. Like, ho boy here I go again with my thinking. Tw for grooming, pedophillia and sexual content. I also feel like I need to say this. I don’t believe anyone deserves harassment ever. DO NOT ATTACK PEOPLE. If you feel like you need to attack me, go off I guess I’m a big boy I can take it now. But DO NOT ATTACK OTHER PEOPLE.
I saw a post the other day, it was about a minor who was groomed into sexual Rp by a group of adults online. The person in question and their friends used the excuse that their character was an adult so it didn't matter, even though the person behind the screen was a teenager. I've seen a few similar cases in the anti-anti community, followed by people dog piling the minor with vitriol while repeating the arguments of their abusers.
Let me start off by saying this. I don’t think the people I’ve RPed with are bad people. I don’t think any of them would abuse any minors. That is NOT what I’m saying here and I don’t want anyone to take this post as a personal insult or like I’m calling you a terrible person.
That’s not what this is about.
This is about me thinking about whether I would -whether I want to be or intend to be or not- be complacent in the face of that kind of abuse. Would I be the ‘friend’ that saw all of this happening and said nothing because I was too big of a coward to, too afraid of imaginary backlash, too afraid of losing the friends I’ve made over the last 3 years. This is about me being ready to face that answer and if the answer is ‘yes, I would be’ making sure that something changes.
I haven’t been subtle recently in my disagreement with a lot of anti-anti arguments. Like, I actually want to deconstruct one comparison I saw because to this day the implications fuck with me: The comparison of being anti-pedophillic content to puritanical Christians trying to ban gay content. Why is gay content and gay representation important? Well, one of the biggest reasons for me is that gay people exist and deserve to be seen in a positive light. It makes gay people feel more welcome in a community when there are people like them in it and they’re not constantly afraid that the series is suddenly going to start calling them evil. This is why Steven Universe, She Ra, The Legend of Korra, every show with two same-sex characters smooching has been seen as revolutionary and amazing. It matters. If you want to go further, because people tend to form bonds with characters, it can help build empathy in populations that might otherwise not empathize with them. Think of the people who enjoyed Rent and began to see The Gays as people because they related to one of the characters or saw the relationship as similar to any straight one. So, in that case, who are we making people form a bond with in works about pedophilia? Who is feeling validated in these portrayals. Who is the audience intended to see as more human and who is getting a community?
Well that actually depends on the work. The big rule of thumb is framing, who are we letting tell the story, are scenes made to be titillating or terrifying (fuck do they even write the scene proper? Because you can just... Not do that.), who comes out the victor and how is their victory portrayed. It’s not like there’s no nuance here in the same way that there’s nuance in the portrayal of gay people, but frankly most writers are too fucking reckless for me to trust them to not make this about how the poor man was seduced by the literal child.
And that goes double to the people who seem to strongly believe that fiction doesn’t impact reality. Especially since what they really, seem to believe is ‘fiction can’t negatively impact reality’. I’ve seen you all reblog posts about why we need positive representation for POC, for LGBT+ people how important it is for people to be able to see themselves in the media how amazing Black Panther was for showing powerful, intelligent, loyal, multi-layered characters of color, I’ve seen you all fawn over LGBT+ media for making you feel like a person who exists instead of some sort of sinful demonic creature. Yet the moment someone suggests that media can have a negative impact, that people who rape and abuse others shouldn’t be seen in a positive light or shouldn’t be written to emphasize with it doesn’t impact reality because the idea makes you uncomfortable? Fuck that.
Sorry, tangent. I haven’t written stories like that on this blog. Most of the stories by people I know haven’t been written like that. But then there’s the fact that Zim’s an adult. In his original canon he’s an adult and the children are all middle school aged at oldest. This isn’t new, Jhonen’s said it for years https://findingtheperfectcharacter.tumblr.com/post/187296864557/so#notes and people decided to ignore it or flat make shit up. And for what? To keep thinking of these characters fucking without losing sleep at night? It’s not like there are no other male characters to ship either of these two with that are their age, and that INCLUDES ones with canon interactions. Zim X Skoodge? Have canon interactions and they’re the same age. Dib X Torque? Have canon interactions and they’re the same age.
And so far my biggest reason for not rebooting this entire blog or deleting it entirely have been twofold. 1. This isn’t the canon universe. Which now sounds like an excuse. A personalized one to fit my own emotions because I was never a massive Kid X Irken shipper to begin with. The same as every asshole who says fiction doesn’t impact reality.
2. I’m afraid of losing my friends. For years my RP group was my only support group. I went through some genuinely rough times -I’m still going through some rough times- and you all were there for me when no one else was. I’m bad at communicating through people outside the funnel of some form of character and my idea of who I am has been warped by years of trying to fit into molds that were never quite right. It’s the one thing about my muse that I have a lot in common with, we’re both extreme cowards in that sense. It’s something I’ve been working on.
And now as I sit here on my bed I wonder, has it been worth it? If there was a predator in my RP group, I would be complacent because I’m too terrified of losing some of the people I’ve been closest to to leave. My beliefs are a part of who I am, and am I worth throwing myself away for friendships shallow enough to break under that pressure? If another person in our group, terrified to speak up because everyone else had a massive fanbase that might attack them if they stepped out of line or who was equally terrified of losing their friends existed, would it be worth it to sit on the sidelines and let them suffer for my own personal comfort.
No.
I’m giving myself until Sunday to let someone convince me not to or for me to talk myself out of deleting my Invader Zim RP blogs. My Main blog will remain the same and if you still want to be friends afterwards I’m still open to it as long as you accept that I will no longer bend my beliefs and self in order to make others feel comfortable. Thank you for reading.
