Exclusive content only available with tier subscription on DeviantArt (from 1st week).
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Who doesn't love a freshly roasted torso carved into thin slices and served on bread or in a wrap like a kebab?
Well... this chef from Armenia has made this his full time job. He always roasts men in their 20s with excellent physique, and then places their cooked bodies vertically on display, as people queue up to buy a wrap or sandwich with thinly sliced carved meat.
This man was a soldier, who lost a leg in a battle. His girlfriend broke up with him, his family was fed up with taking after him, so they decided to just sell his body to be used for another purpose.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
At a traditional wedding in Crete you will always be served a bowl or two of gamopilafo (wedding soup). The soup is made exclusively out of the broth of men who are boiled alive in large cooking pots. The soup includes rice, lemon juice, olive oil, onions and of course chunks of tender meat of men.
The traditional way to do the soup is to surprise the "chosen" man or men, by restraining them on the spot. The men of the groom's family will make sure the chosen man is stripped naked and prepared in less than an hour from the time they arrive at the wedding, so that once all the guests arrive, the chefs can put on a show.
The choice is usually made by the couple themselves. At this wedding, the bride's twin brothers were chosen. The family had no objection to this, as they were both causing trouble for many years. They were just 21 years old, and they had already been arrested for petty crimes more than 5 times each...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Fresh (alive) Meat on Display
I love it when I go on holidays, and the taverns and restaurants put their glass display cases out in the streets to show what (or who) is on the menu. My girlfriend likes getting closer and examining the poor men, sometimes even joking in their face about them being cooked.
This dude saw us laughing at him and my girlfriend was rubbing her belly and licking her lips. He got so embarrassed, he started crying. In the end we decided to just continue our stroll through the town until we get hungry.
When we came back an hour later, he was still in the display case, but this time he was just reduced to pieces of meat. His cute severed head was there, next to some of his ribs, a thigh, a shoulder and an arm.
If his feet had not been served to others already, I would have definitely have them for dinner. But oh well, we just looked elsewhere around the town, which was full of displays filled with guys like him ready to meet their fate.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Memories from past Easters 3
Have you ever been at a Greek Easter feast? For me it's been a yearly goal to find a welcoming family or friend to experience and enjoy the abundance of spit roasted and grilled male meat. This was one of the first ones I've been to 10 years ago. I was a teenager back then
I will never forget this lovely man who was more than willing to offer me his son's foot and head on a tray like that. He saw me drooling over the feet and head throughout the day, so he decided to just gift them to me. The son was 25 (my age now), and I had only seen him when he was already prepared and seasoned on the spit. A butcher had delivered him for the party, and the men of the family carried him over the fire...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't forget to toss the meat halfway through
For better roast results it's suggested to toss the man over on the tray halfway through cooking. And while you are at it, make sure you make a few cuts on the flesh before adding more sauce and seasoning. You'll want the meat of those buns to absorb as much flavour as possible, while the skin becomes crispy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Imagine losing your head and being made fun of for crying...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Failed Balkan model roasted and sold on the street
He thought a modelling career would save him from being sold as meat. Unfortunately he failed badly in this direction and couldn't even sustain his own life properly. It seems like good looks are not always enough to guarantee a man's survival in this world. His appearance ended up being more of a curse than a blessing.
Out of desperation he signed a deal with an agency that was actively involved in the male meat industry. He's been in adverts for male meat farms, restaurants and supermarkets, always posing as meat in various photoshoots. It paid well and he was okay with it, as it was just a few hours of roleplaying as meat in front of a camera.
But for his last photoshoot, he was required to play something a bit more than a simple role... Maybe he should have been more careful when reading the contract and the script of the photoshoot before he agreed. It was clearly mentioned that it would involve spit roasting, but his naivety led him to believe it would simply involve being tied temporarily on a spit with rope.
... (more at deviant art)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Fresh college meatFresh college meat
The best college in the country found a way to sufficiently fund itself by selling a proportion of 10% of their male students as meat. The lowest performing 10% of young men at this college, ends up becoming meat which later gets sold at markets, restaurants and school cafeterias.
The amount of extra funding coming from this practice, has allowed the college to reach the top of the rankings, with the most pioneering programs, best facilities and research opportunities. The prestige of having a diploma from this specific college, is what leads young men to enrol there anyway, hoping that they won't end up in the bottom 10%. You can imagine how competitive it can get for the male students. It's no surprise that the successful male graduates of this college are all employed in high positions right after college.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
No man cheats on his daughter!
A father would never let his daughter be cheated on and heartbroken by a man without any consequences. Bill found out the hard way, when his in-laws abducted him and prepared him for their daughter's birthday. They made sure he was washed, shaved, cleaned up, marinated, trussed up and roasted alive, all before their daughter had arrived at the surprise party. They wanted the meat to be ready for her to dive in. Revenge is sweet and it's best served HOT.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Memories from past Easters 4
Some restaurants in Greece choose to spit roast imported meat from abroad on Easter Sunday. Many locals love tasting exotic flavours too on this special day. Also some businesses and individuals see this method as one less complication when it comes to dealing with the meat, as meat is usually unable to communicate in the language, causing less trouble and making the process much more straight forward.
This man was imported from neighbouring Turkey, where the male meat industry is thriving, and the two countries have established an unprecedented trade and cooperation between them, with thousands of men being exported as meat annually from one country to the other.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday I joined this cooking class/workshop, where I was shown how to roast a whole man in an electric oven. The organisers provided the man, and all the participants contributed towards his preparation. The meat himself was very upset about it, as he would turn 36 next year, meaning he would have been a free man forever after that. But maybe he was just too tasty-looking to allow him to become a free man. His wife was there too as one of the participants, and she was glad she managed to sort this out in time. She wouldn't be able to live her whole life with regrets for not eating him when she had the chance.
The class took around half a day, because apart from preparing him and shoving him in the glass oven, we had to wait 4-5 hours for him to finish cooking. The price included unlimited drinks, snacks, and of course a piece of our own creation once he was fully cooked. If you can ever join such a class, it is absolutely worth it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
That's what I call a centrepiece!
Every time I get invited to a dinner party at friends' or relatives' house, I make sure to double check and guarantee that they've got the meat already sorted, just to be safe. I usually ask them to send me a receipt of purchase or a picture/video of the man. Even when it's people I trust and respect, I still wouldn't wanna risk ending up butchered and cooked randomly just because I wasn't careful enough.
This guy in the picture was obviously NOT doing that. His step-mom's parents invited him over for dinner, and he ended up becoming the dinner for the whole family. How do I know that? Well, I was there myself and I took this picture of his delicious feet and cute head once it was served on a platter in the middle of the table. The rest of his body was stuffed and oven-roasted, like a trussed-up turkey. They used his fresh raw feet and head as the centrepiece, which was dominating our view while we were waiting for his roasted body to be served.
Unfortunately the family was not interested in offering or selling us his feet or his head, as they had other plans for those cuts for the weekend. Oh well, after all it was their meat, their choice... Glad I was able to at least take this picture of this delicious specimen.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
When in Argentina, do as the locals do... Find an asado where they roast men alive, and enjoy the whole experience. When I was there for a week I went to an asado every single day. And this was one of my favourites, cause this dude just tasted like HEAVEN. If you are wondering where his legs had gone by the time this photo was taken, let me just tell you I had just devoured a whole calve and foot of his with my girlfriend, and the rest of the lower body was already reduced to bones in people's plates. We rushed back for more cuts before all of him was gone. I'll never forget how good his meat tasted. 10/10
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Passing down family secrets to the next generation
My friend Mark knows how much I love feet. His dad is a podiatrist-turn-chef, so you can imagine how well he knows the foot anatomy and how easy it is for him to spot the best pair for each occasion.
In this photo he was showing us what to look for on a foot when we want to buy some from a butcher's or a market. He pointed out that the toe-nails can tell more about the meat than we can imagine. And the toes themselves can demonstrate how meaty or tender a foot can be. The flat soles are great for grilling, and higher-arches are perfect for roasting. Also hairy feet show that the man had good blood circulation. Smell can also indicate specific qualities, and different foot smell intensities can really make a difference in the final result of a dish.
He also bought this delicious foot himself from his favourite butcher shop. The previous owner of the feet was an old patient of his when he had the podiatry clinic. Mark's dad remembered how he was drooling over this pair of feet back then, and he was glad to see that the young man had looked after his feet for all those years.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
This dude was presented in the online menu of this restaurant as the roast of the day. When I saw his pictures and videos from his preparation in the man farm, I knew I had to book a table. This place roasts their meats to perfection. I need to find out their secret for that perfectly crispy skin crackling... and the meat under that heavenly crisp is always tender, juicy and full of flavour. The feet and hands are sometimes too crispy for my taste though, I would personally remove those parts and cook them a different way. But as this restaurant only specialises in whole roasts, they want their men to enter and exit the oven without any prior adjustment to their bodies, apart from, of course, shaving them and cleaning them.