The Lady Said These Would Be 50% Off...
A memory popped up on my photo stream on my iPhone: March 7th, 2022. The thermometer reads 102 degrees in a classroom with first graders in it. I'm pushing into this room to teach music at 9:00 AM on a Monday morning. Some rocket scientist left the boiler on all weekend, and now the school building is some sort of child oven. Just another day teaching. "But hey, at least you get summers off!!!" You can't complain about being a teacher. You can, but the second you do, anyone in any other profession will either think that or say that. They torture you? Well, at least you get your summers!
Anywho, yeah...Teachers complaining to non-teachers just won't fly. "But you get home at 4! That has to be worth something!" If you think I do anything with my time other than drink when I get home, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.
"Well, why don't you vent to your co-teachers?" 1) You assume I have friends. I don't. 2 ) You can't vent to a teacher. Every teacher ever in the history of ever is that one upper. "You teach 8 kids with an I.E.P? Well, I teach 27! Before 6:00 AM...on the 32nd day of Smarch!" You'll start explaining why your last class was rough, and fifteen minutes later, you will walk out of a room wondering what just happened and how quickly you can clean up your resume.
Some altruistic fool somewhere is looking at becoming a teacher. I'm telling you, for every one of those people, ten school administrators just got done sleeping on a nuclear reactor and/or huffing a sharpie because it smells good walking into a school building trying to run the building like it's a Fortune 500 company. News flash, your Ed.D in building management is glorified toilet paper. *Begins researching Ed.D programs*.
"So, why don't you try getting a new career?" Oh, hypothetical person, I wish it were that easy. Turns out no one wants a teacher with ten years of experience and a master's degree in educational technology for their entry-level position. "I'm sorry, the position doesn't align with your background." And that's if you get an answer. Most recruiters send back a gif of Lewis Black flipping you off. (That's not true. I wish it was. That would be hilarious. Recruiters, please, do that next time instead of sending me an email saying you've decided to move in a different direction in your search for your next role as an entry-level full-stack toilet bowl cleaner.)