A couple nights ago I got some disturbing asks. I almost posted them but I already know where they came from and communicated with the source. I went back and forth on whether to say something cause I know what the result will be, but also..if I know what it will be, why not proceed anyway? So, Iām gonna say something I wanted to say for a while. Read it if you have time, or donāt, either way itās just my peace, never scared of a long rant. Cue the eye rolls, I donāt care. I like to think of it as an op-ed on fandom culture.
Iām never going to regret or apologize for calling out hate. This fandom has been so toxic for so long and that is part of it and if a better environment is to be created, giving certain sentiments platforms in an extreme way isnāt going to make it any better. Excusing it by saying itās just silly doesnāt work either. And sending crazy asks for a conversation I wasnāt even involved in is evidence of that. Also, I don't condone the types of asks I have received happening to anyone, ever.
Everyone is someone behind the screen, and you can excuse it as being anonymous but we see our own reflection in our phones and I canāt just be complacent in things. I also donāt know how people justify saying certain things even on the internet.
Hate breeds hate. You canāt create a hateful environment and publish anything under a guise of a different point of view and then act surprised when anons run off elsewhere to replicate that sentiment. There is a difference between a different pov and hate. Thereās a difference between disappointment and hate. Thereās a difference between holding somebody accountable, who has literal evidence of them doing horrible things, and directing that towards someone undeserving.ļæ¼ And the āaccountabilityā is often for things that are so far off, Iām afraid of the reality some people live in. The insulting and sometimes dangerous names and statements made with such confidence, those of which are so unnecessary, get thrown around so easily. What is ridiculous is accepting that thatās just how it is and expecting it to just happen and no one who is allowed to talk about the hate or theyāre a problem. Or too much. It makes no sense. Because hating someone incessantly is just obsession in another font.
Itās oversimplifying to suggest that people can just stay on their spaces, because hate will infiltrate everywhere. Clearly, because anons feel emboldened to say the the most unhinged things on spaces that arenāt ātheirsā anyway, and there is no way to avoid cross-contamination. God forbid if thatās pointed out. Itās also rather troublesome to think anything within hate can be expressed but nothing else. And if people try to point out that hate, theyāre somehow in the wrong and yelled at, but the hate is confusedly okay in the first place? Itās so simply odd. And no, pointing out hate is not the same thing as the hate itself. Standing up for yourself is not a problem. If you think this is overdramatic, okay. If it offends you, okay. Anyone can predict how people will respond to things if youāve been in this fandom from the beginning. I donāt think anybody is going to have a come to Jesus moment and all of a sudden change. Iām over the gaslighting and being told that some people are complying and posting even though they donāt agree, cause thereās ānothing we can do,ā while anons are attacking each other and calling each other names. It is wild to claim that we canāt control the narrative when the narrative is created by us and itās also wild to claim that you donāt control what happens on your blog when youāre literally the owner of it.
As a fandom as a whole, it spreads, regardless, when certain things are tolerated. It gains momentum. And then somebody can feign realizations but if youāre not committed to the outcome of those realizations, they quickly fade and are rendered useless, and it returns to where it was in the first place.
Iām lucky I have a life outside of this and even if Iām okay when I log out, coming into a space that keeps getting more problematic and invasive is endlessly frustrating. And itās not a secret, or at least it shouldnāt be, that some people are deeply affected to the point of concern. Weāve all seen it. Shoving it off as if itās nothing and that it should not be taken seriously is also ridiculous because some would argue itās very serious when it has affected them with death threats (only two months into tumblr I got inducted into this club and am now a 3x member) and other serious, offensive and/or ridiculous allegations, or misinformation spreads because of a (sometimes conveniently intentional) misinterpretation of what has been said and itās posted with no proper context or thought. Or someone decides a non-descriptive post was about them which offsets a slew of very strange interactions and dms and more accusations.
It is easy for anons to feel it is silly when they are not on the receiving end. Itās easy to pass it off as ānothing.ā Itās a classic deflection. But this does move into real life for some, especially when it is being encouraged or championed to bring up topics from āsillyā tumblr to people in real life as if itās okay. Hate being defended and broken up into categories as if any hate is better than another and accepted as normal, is one of the most wild concepts and why this fandom has become what it has. But people want to hate. They want to have an outlet for whatever is going on within their own life and release that hate, and so they will excuse it to the deaths. So here we are, still. Asks growing in the inbox day by day make some feel all mighty and powerful which is only worsened by the anonymity the admin has as well. People can claim to be anything, have any degree, or any intel, which isnāt necessarily inherently problematic, but in this context because some will foam at the mouth at the thought, they will continue to post it no matter the content. That feeling gets addictive for some.
These problems speak to humans, way beyond what or who is any singular focus of a fandom.
I donāt care about being popular. I never have. OGs know me from being a mere commenter where I also combatted misinformation and hate. Itās nothing new. I have no other agenda attached to this, so I donāt need to keep ļæ¼a following. My ego is also not dependent on it. Iām not going to let any ask go through and create a hateful environment to keep any of those followers. Itās insane to think all this chatter canāt be defended. I donāt regret making a blog, even though sometimes I have considered it, because I got a lot of answers to a lot of questions that I had before making my own space. ļæ¼And there have been people I have really enjoyed āmeeting.ā They kept me going when things got weird. And some good things have happened personally too.
Anyone who has reached out over the past several months, mostly private, understandably so (save for one, publicly, who is probably the only one who read this š as Iām sure many said āIām not reading all thatā) to share they also have this sentiment generally but also to those who expressed they are afraid to speak on it, Iāll be the punching bag for you, gladly. A thanks for stopping by.