Im writing you this letter as a friend and not an S/O. From someone who wants nothing but the best for you and wants to help guide you to make decisions that will make happier in the long run. Please don't take this as a command, more of "advice". From someone who has an outside perspective. I love you and care about you more than anything.
Honestly I know you've thought about moving in with them and I really just want to say one thing about it. You have every single right to make your own choices in life but I'd just like to show you something I've seen for myself.
The saying goes, "surround yourself with those who want to see you succeed"
It's kind of a dumb statement on the outside but if you really think about it, and how other people do actually effect you, it sorta makes some sense...
For the short time i have know him, Josh is a quality dude when he's sober... I do not like to drag down your friends, but I really don't see many quality characteristics in the guy. At least i haven't seen them yet. I fully understand that he might be your best friend, and that is great. It's wonderful to have friends that you make you feel good and friends you can really have fun with.
But before all of that, step back and think about this for a minute...
What does he want for you? Do you think he wants to see you become a powerful woman? Do you think he wants to see you truly happy? Does he want you to have a career? Does he want to see you do something you truly love? Does he want you to go to college and do something for yourself that makes you happy and make you feel proud? Does he want to see you become the first in your family to graduate and do something for yourself that no one else thought you could? What does he really want from you???
...Or does he just want to be your drinking buddy? Does he just want to feed you drugs so you can get fucked up with him one more time? Does he just wanna get in your pants? Does he just want to use you? Deep down, do you really think he cares about your well being?
What would happen if you two drifted apart? What is your relationship with him going to be like when you move away? Will he text you seeing how you're doing? Will he push you to become a better person than you were yesterday? Will he support you and help you when you ask for it? Will he give you space and quiet when you need it? Will he be a friend when you need someone when you can't talk to anyone else? I don't see it... i just don't and I'm really sorry to say that. A part of me really hopes that i'm wrong and that he is the friend that will be good for you. Seriously.
These people won't mean anything in years to come and I'm really sorry to say that but it's the truth. I moved 800 miles away just to find out who my real friends are. Trust me on that one, I know how it works.
Surrounding yourself with those who want nothing but the for you and those who want to see you be proud in your accomplishments and just be plain fucking happy, is really the best thing you can do for yourself. It makes you more confident, more positive, have better thoughts and does wonders for you mental health. Positive thoughts and people will being positive outcomes.
In all honesty, I have no idea what you and josh's relationship is like, and I don't care. That is between you two. Like i said, I really hope he is the great friend i think you need, but i just don't see him being that. I want you to have someone (thats not me) you can be best of fucking friends with, a ride or die... but deep down, i think he uses you, i think he has a thing for you, i think he just wants to see you fucked up, i think he attracts people like himself.
I don't want you to be like him at all, and you become JUST like the people you hang out with... Imagine living in that 24/7.......
I really hope you put forth some thought into how you living there might actually be. I just don't see it being a good path to take. Weigh the pros and cons, think of the bad and good outcomes. We both are very impatient, but I think if you can stick to what you are doing and find someone who can uplift you and push you harder every day, you'll thank yourself.
I want nothing but the fucking best for you, and i pray every day that you'll find someone who can bring the best out in you, not be fake and be a livable roomate. Maybe it's me, maybe it's not. Dont care.
Looking out for someone that means the world to me...
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