Little did I know, 2020 was about to show me strength I never knew I had. I went into the year married - happily married. Or at least I thought. January, I watched my wife turn into a complete stranger. Someone who had no problem leaving me in tears while walking out the door. Someone who had no regard to my feelings. Someone who loved her family once upon a time but woke up one morning and just didn’t anymore. 01.25.2020, one year after we said I do and I guess she didn’t - not anymore. I can never put into words the hurt it is to watch someone un-love you. The hurt it feels to be lied to on a daily. The hurt it feels to fall asleep In a empty bed, in a empty home. The hurt it feels to have your wife who you thought was Going to take care of you, be by your side through everything, would be the one soul you could count on - just change up and not. She’ll never know the pain I felt every day, the tears I cried because I didn’t understand or the prayers I prayed to god to help my wife and our marriage. Three months later and my heart is still healing. Some days are harder than others. I still don’t understand and I don’t think I ever will. I just have to learn to accept what life has thrown at me and accept that my happy ending wasn’t my happy ending. My knight and shining armor - wasn’t. I’ll continue to pray for her and her heart. I pray she finds the life and person who she needs and wants in life. I hope life treats her well. I hope she finds what she’s looking for. I can’t cry and hurt like I was. I have to keep on with life and pray one day I’ll be back to the person I once was.
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