I hope tonight is your last night suffering. I can’t stand to hear you struggling to breath. I can’t stand to watch your once vibrant color fade to grey. I can’t stand grabbing for your warm loving hands…but catching cold frail lifeless ones. I can’t stand the thought of losing the most important person in my life.
This makes every heartbreak feel like a splinter in my finger. This makes all betrayal feel like a joke I just didn’t understand. This makes all the horrible things happening all around the world feel like simply an annoyance in comparison to this.
I hate all moments in the past when I was angry with you. I hate the cruel words I spewed your way. All you ever did was love me unconditionally… why did I feel the need to test that so often?
I’m sorry Mommy, for not always being easy to love. And thank you Mommy for always choosing to love me through it.
Without your love, I would have never learned how to truly love myself.
I love you Mom. I will miss you everyday until the end of time. You are the best.
Please rest easy, and please don’t be afraid to let go of that painfully sick body holding you back. You were meant for more.
