i'm gonna be real with you guys (ge/nder ne/utral), i'm about to lose it. health & real life talk under the cut xoxo (NOTHING TERRIBLE BTW i'm just struggling)
it's been four months since my surgery! i finished physical therapy last month, but the recovery of like, jumps, sudden moves- activities i don't have to think of before i do them... it's been hard. i know i am in good shape and healing nicely! it's just that it's been five years of my brain functioning with too much caution just so i don't bust my knee again. going back to normal has been harder than i thought. but i've been making little progress, and overall i haven't regressed in my recovery so i'm very proud. and like, surrendered to the circumstances and trying to take the best care of my body. TRYING i said
i've been struggling to get a job, as one does in times like these. i have a few job interviews coming up, but overall i've been juggling between the artist career, doing a few jobs for friends and sending my resume everywhere because i need to pay bills, i need to help my mom & also start looking into my future. i quit my current singing gigs because i felt mistreated by some colleagues & the pay wasn't enough for me to stay (i've been earning barely 40 bucks per gig ever since 2023. so like, 80 bucks a month. that's all i was making & i had to split it between transportation, food & bills. they've never raised from that). so, it just wasn't working. and it was a relief, i don't regret it, but still a tough situation to give up that money (even if it was too little). so, it's been anxiety town down here.
also my mom's chronic pain has been flaring up, so i have to take care of her + be in charge of the house. and unfortunately my mom is very irresponsible with the rest she should be taking (i can't judge her, she cannot stay still for too long). but godddd
on the upside, i've never felt so loved & supported by my family, my partner, my friends (the ones in this platform too xoxo). so, i apologize for not being as present as i would like. i promise i'll come back full force someday, but for now it'll be sporadic activity & once-every-full-moon replies. it's so good to have curated my following on this blog, and like, not feel judged for being away. you guys get it. thank you. ily