[itsinthewaves]

Sooooooo, I have a boyfriend?

It happened out of nowhere. I was so content with the idea of just being on my own for a while. Then the cutest guy added me on fb and my best friend was a mutual friend so obviously I asked her "who's this guy?" And she said "Oh my God Lauren I love him for you" so i added him back. Suddenly we're talking on the phone for hours every night, then we finally met, and the rest was just history.

He's literally everything Jake wasn't. He spoils the shit out of me, he's so sweet, he's just everything. He's everything.

The other day he said something that kind of irritated me, literally wasn't even a big deal at all, but then he comes over that evening with an "I'm sorry" card that he designed himself along with a big ass gift bag full of gifts. The most thoughtful things. Gift giving is definitely his love language and I'm so awkward about receiving gifts lol. He bought me a Stanley cup because he knew I'd lost mine, a bag of my favorite chocolates, 3 shirts, and 3 gift cards that he spent WAY too much on 🤦🏼‍♀️ and then spent his day off leaf blowing my yard (I'd only been asking Jake to do that for idk, 3 years now?)

I won't be introducing him to Parker for 3 months minimum as per our separation agreement, so he only comes over on the days I don't have bubs, but when he does come on the days that I work the next morning, he cleans up our messes from the night before and takes my trash off so I can come home to a clean house.

It happened so fast, it should scare me, but it feels so right. It's funny, I made a list a while back about what I wanted in my next partner, like very specific things. He checks every. single. box.

I backed into his car the other week and I was sure I'd never hear from him again but nope, he just comforted me and that was the first time he said he loved me. I'm still trying to see my own worth so it's hard to understand why he would love someone like me, like what do I have to offer you dude? But he does. He shows it daily.

We were spotted by someone at the damn gas station and that someone told Jake about it, so now he knows, but legally it's not an issue due to what's in our separation agreement. And not that I care what Jake thinks, but we had a conversation about it and he took it far better than I expected.

We were talking the other night about how he wanted to wait until the divorce is final to be "fb official", but then last night I get on there and see "______ is in a relationship" It doesn't say with who, but he said he just wanted the world to know he was taken.

I was very much unsure if I would ever get married again after Jake, but I would marry that man tomorrow.

And that's the update on that 🤷🏼‍♀️ Love just fell into my lap and I swear I've never loved anyone like I do him. Not even my ex husband. Not even close.

I'm not sure who sent him, but someone/something did, and I just couldn't be more thankful.

[itsinthewaves]

Things.

Jake is moving out this coming week. It's a good thing. But going from having Parker every day to having him half the time is going to be so hard. I haven't let myself really think about how it'll feel only having him 3-4 days a week. But it is what it is.

Once he is officially moved out, my best friend and I are going to spend a day making the house more "mine". Rearranging furniture, hanging different wall decor, maybe painting a room, idk. My saint of a mother got me new bedding so that my room is starting to feel more like MY room. I mean, Jake hasn't slept in there for probably a year now. I should have known he was checked out a long time ago. Whatever.

Paid rent on my own for the first time, that felt good. Haven't needed his help for anything lately either. Got new tires on my own. Set up my own Amazon prime/Netflix/etc. It's the little things, but they add up and those little things help me to slowly gain my independence. It's progress.

I'm not sure how I'll feel when he's officially gone, when this house will be just mine and he won't be here at all. It's the official end of an over 15 year relationship/almost 9 year marriage. I can't fully grasp that yet. I'm not sad. It's a feeling I can't explain. A little surreal I guess.

I knew when Parker started daycare that he would probably get sick shortly after. His second week, he had what seemed like a cold for a few days, but when he showed no improvement we took him to the doctor and it turned out to be croup. He finally started getting better, but this weekend he's been throwing up (like 10-12 times in the last day and a half) so he definitely contracted some kind of stomach bug as well. I hate it for him. He still seems happy in between the vomiting episodes, but I just want him healthy again 😩

[nice-worm-deactivated20200906]

reblog the money pigeon for a financially stable future

[secondlina]

I reblog  the money pigeon because I love him.

[certifieddudette]

My luck levels have been rigged since the new year started and it seems to be infectious… reblogging for yall’s sake

[itsinthewaves]

Deleted this app for a while but decided I needed a place to vent again.

In October I found two pairs of underwear in Jake's car that weren't mine. At that moment I knew I could never let myself be betrayed by him again. I can't remember if I posted about the affair I found out about when I was pregnant with Parker, but this was really the last straw. He admitted he wasn't in love with me anymore and "didn't know" if he'd ever stop cheating. Like ok, say less.

So I filed for divorce on the grounds of adultery a couple weeks later. He knew we were going to divorce, but I never told him I got a lawyer until the papers were ready to be served. And for good reason, because as soon as he found out I had legal representation, his tune completely changed. He was now the victim in the situation and constantly hostile and impossible to be around.

Since I'd been home with Parker for his first two+ years of life, and had planned (with Jake in agreement) to stay at home with him until he was verbal enough to start daycare or k2/k3 whatever, since I didn't want to send him somewhere if he couldn't tell me what was happening there. His speech is a little delayed but not to the point where his pediatrician is concerned, we know what he's saying when he speaks but if you don't know him well, you wouldn't. But lately his words are exploding, he just doesn't enunciate well. But that's besides the point.

So I knew I'd have to start working again before I had planned to. I have been working at a pediatric clinic for a little over a month now. Parker's been in daycare for two weeks (OH SIDE NOTE: Jake's dumb ass let himself be recorded fondling a 21 year olds' bare breasts in some vehicle at a bar, which was sent to me, and then sent to my lawyer, which he says definitely would get me a final divorce by late March dependent on us agreeing to certain terms) like how stupid are you?!? But that 21 year old works at Parker's day care. Of ALL places. So that's really fun for me. Anyway.

Today was our temporary divorce hearing. It went very well for me. He never did acquire a lawyer, didn't even write up an affidavit for the judge. So I got what I asked for and then some. Shared custody and a good amount of child support.

He is livid.

They have given him 21 days to move out, he's been planning to buy a house but his deals keep falling through. We had originally agreed to each pay half of rent for February, but then today he texts me that he'll pay a pro-rated amount, and I said that's fine. Now he's saying he won't pay any bills at all because the child support I was awarded was based on me paying all the bills. I said unless you put zero in the house payment/rent portion of your financial declaration, you need to pay the amount you agreed upon if you are going to live here for the majority of February.

Still arguing about it. He's going to make everything hell for as long as he can.

Life's been hard. I'm tackling one day at a time. Today was a success overall but the battle is not over. It's just exhausting.

That's the update 🤷🏼‍♀️

[itsinthewaves]

I broke my left foot on April 23rd of last year.

I broke my right foot yesterday, April 23rd. Like what are the damn odds.

I'm not walking on 4/23 of next year.

[itsinthewaves]

Because this is the only place I can say it.

I put so much more effort into my friendship with my best friend than she does. I'm the one with a one year old, and still, I'm always the one to drive 25 minutes to go have lunch with her, or hang at her house on the occasions that I get to leave baby free. If we hang out it's 95% me going to her, not her coming here. It's a case of "if they wanted to, they would" to me. But I hate conflict so I don't want to bring all this up, though I've hinted at it here and there. I think I just need to take a step back. Which sucks because I love hanging out with her and stopping myself from running to her house when I get a break is going to be hard. But for my mental health, I think I need to.

It just sucks. That is all

[itsinthewaves]

One of Jake's sister's got married Saturday, the day before I got my period, which I only mention because my emotions were ✨uncontrollable✨

Talon was a groomsman, Jake's grandfather officiated, Jake's grandmother recently had foot surgery so she's temporarily in a wheelchair, so Talon pushed her down the aisle, and his sister was such a beautiful bride; I could. not. stop crying during the ceremony lol. Look how handsome my baby is!!!!

It was really fun though, I love a good wedding. We didn't stay too long since it was 3 hours away and my mom was at my house watching Parker. But yay wedding. And not yay for period misery 😭

[itsinthewaves]

My boys are getting so big.

Talon and Kinsley both have all A's so far this year. Couldn't be more proud. Talon is still super passionate about baseball and is taking private lessons now as well as getting ready for spring season.

Parker is doing great, he's tall af, in the 99th percentile for height and 92nd percentile for weight. No surprise there as Jake is 6'4. He can say a few words, but only when he feels like it. He's just the happiest little boy.

Kinsley has been going through a "finding herself" period over the last year or so. She cut her hair really short, just wants to wear sweatpants and tshirts/hoodies, which is fine! I don't care as long as she's happy. But she's just changed a lot and I'm having a harder time connecting with her than I used to. I guess that's how it goes with preteens, she's got her own things going on and hanging out with Mom isn't her top priority. I don't know.

Overall, we're all doing well. Hope anyone still reading this is as well 💕

[itsinthewaves]

My last baby is not a baby anymore and I cannot handle it 😭

He's the silliest, sweetest, weirdest, most stubborn, amazing boy and I couldn't be happier that I get to be his mama. I try to cherish every day with him, knowing how fast these years go by, but it still feels like I gave birth, blinked, and suddenly he was a toddler.

[itsinthewaves]

Watching the finale of 13 Reasons Why (been rewatching the show for the second time), my son taking his first steps, and getting ready for his birthday party all on the same day, while definitely about to get my period in the next like 2 seconds probably, is a recipe for SO MANY EMOTIONS

[itsinthewaves]

His party went well. I was a basket case up until everything was set up, but I was able to enjoy it and we had a lot of friends and family show up for Parker. Worth the stress. Next year I'm definitely doing something more low-key though 😅

[itsinthewaves]

Watching the finale of 13 Reasons Why (been rewatching the show for the second time), my son taking his first steps, and getting ready for his birthday party all on the same day, while definitely about to get my period in the next like 2 seconds probably, is a recipe for SO MANY EMOTIONS

[itsinthewaves]

✨Things✨

There are so many babies coming in the family this year! Had Parker Nov. 30th, my sister is having my fourth niece any day now, Jake's cousin is due in October with a boy, and my brother in law & his girlfriend are expecting a baby boy in December.

Parker will soon lose his spot as the baby of the family on both sides, but he'll have so many cousins to play with and that's exciting.

I got my period over a week early and I'm pissed about it.

Parker is crawling, pulling up on things, generally just ALL OVER the place. So that's tiring but still, all good things.

Talon started 4th grade a couple weeks ago and loves it.

Kinsley starts 6th grade today (WHAT) and I hope she has the best day. She does have classes with a few of her friends so I think she's going to settle in fine.

Her birthday is tomorrow, (11, WHAT). Bringing her a cake tomorrow because Candace doesn't make her cakes, which is so fucking shitty, and we're going to *actually* celebrate her birthday this weekend, per her request.

Someone asked me if I was still pregnant the other day... They hadn't seen me in a while, and the woman is a whole bitch, so I think she said it just to be ugly but now I'm super motivated to lose this baby weight as soon as my leg heals up.

I think that's it. I hope y'all are all doing well❤️

[itsinthewaves]

I'm so accident-prone, it is concerning.

At my best friend's daughter's birthday pool party, I slipped in my wet slides (not holding Parker thank goodness) and cut my leg about 4in long and 1/2 to 3/4 inch deep, on one of those short metal fence type things that go around a flower bed. Urgent care laughed and told me to go to the ER. So I did, my doctor was super hot which was nice, and I got irrigated and stitched up. That was Saturday. Today it's the most painful it's been, and I have a high pain tolerance. I'm over it and I just want to be able to lay on my preferred side. And not worry about my baby crawling on it, stepping on it, kicking it, etc.

Just so annoying. I was finally walking without a limp after breaking my foot in April.

Someone just wrap me in some bubble wrap please.

[itsinthewaves]

My sweet, fearless, not quite 8 month old baby has figured out how to escape his crib, so until Jake gets home this afternoon (he's been at work since yesterday morning) and lowers it, I can't take my eyes off the baby monitor when he's in there. Yesterday after his first nap, I went to get him and he was crawling around on the floor, happy as can be. Scared the crap out of me when he wasn't in his crib.

I know how to lower it but it would be so much easier with a second person. Baby's also cutting his second tooth, and has figured out how to pull up on everything, so that's a fun addition to that challenge. I also need Jake to get home so he can install the retractable baby gates I bought, because I am shit with a drill and Parker is obv into EVERYTHING now. I need to install the cabinet/toilet locks that are arriving today.

He's been sleeping until 7:something lately, but today we're up at 5:15. Just what I'd hoped for 😅

I also made him an appointment for today to see if we can get him a referral for physical therapy. I've noticed since birth that he tends to turn his ankles in; he *can* stand with both feet flat on the floor but he prefers to put one foot on top of the other, and "walks" like that too. At his 6 month appt, they said that if he was still doing that at his 9 month appt they'd give him a referral. I don't see the point in waiting, I'd rather go ahead and get him in PT so it doesn't set him back as far as walking or whatever.

So that's an update on the little guy.

[itsinthewaves]

My much younger cousin has always been a mess. Not really her fault, she had horrible childhood trauma. Diagnosed schizophrenic, ADHD, among other things. We haven't been close since I was 12. But lately "the holy Spirit has been talking to her"... Which is clearly a symptom of her schizophrenia since she stopped taking her meds because "the holy Spirit" told her she doesn't need medication, that god will heal her if she prays enough. She also "used to be" gay, but you guessed it, "God healed her from that too". The voice also tells her to bring broken furniture from the street and figure out how to fix it. So... Yeah, really doubt it's anything but mental illness.

She's all over FB lately with all her homophobic nonsense and I had to comment on one post yesterday of her with a group of people at a pride parade, yelling at people that they, too, can be cured from their sexual orientation. She equated it to "it's like telling a child to stop eating so much candy so they don't hurt their teeth. It's the same thing."

Given that she STRONGLY believes everything she's saying, and add to that her serious, untreated mental illness, there's not much more I can do, but just makes me sad for her. And angry. She needs help but her family sucks and she's across the country from me, and she doesn't seem to want help anyway. She is happy believing and spreading her ignorance.

Anyway, that's all. I want to unfriend her but I also want to watch the crazy play out 🤷🏼‍♀️

[itsinthewaves]

Welp. I think I broke my foot. I have an urgent care appointment in an hour, but I can't put any weight on it, hurts like hell. And I have a HIGH pain tolerance so that's saying something.

I was carrying a laundry basket and tripped somehow. Luckily I already had a boot from a previous ankle sprain since I'm clumsy af, but it's not helping much.

I don't know how I'm going to take care of my 5 month old when I can hardly walk 5 feet.

Ugh, basically.

Edit - yep, it's fractured.

[itsinthewaves]

5:43 am, going to see Talon again today but with the whole fam.

Trying to get ready and get Parker's diaper bag packed up before I have to wake him up to eat, change, and get on the road to get Kinsley by 7ish, feed her breakfast and then pick Jake up from the fire dept at 8, and then get on the road. Trying to be there by 1030-we'll see.

I'm excited to go, I just wish it wasn't going to be storming the whole time we're there 😬 but we'll make the best of it. I know he wanted to go to the baseball field and show Jake his skills. Merp.

And then I'll see him again on Easter! Which reminds me I haven't made up any of the kids' baskets yet and I need to get on that asap.

Anyway, going to put my face on now. Post pics later probably, if I remember to take them 🫠