what's life without mischief? @itsjustjakeporter - Tumblr Blog

TEXT 🎤 JAVA

Nova: Kovu. Kiara. The Gastons. Madeleine. Jay. Rachel Dale. Charlie Hood. Should I keep going, or do you get the picture yet? :-p

Nova: OR YOU COULD BUILD ME MY OWN BB-8 SOMEDAY??? One that works and isn't just a toy?

Nova: OR WE SHOULD MAKE HERO TWINS.

Jake: Yeah, true. But who is going to pack your favorite snacks when doing so?

Jake: Not after the sass I just got. :)

Jake: OOOOH YES.

#text: all #text: novafitzherbert

TEXT 🌳🐒 PORTER BROS

BLAKE: Bro! Who gave you haterade today? You're really trying to drag a dude down! You can't do it, but you're TRYING lol.

BLAKE: I DON'T WANNA LIE ON MATCHMAKR, I WANNA BE STRAIGHT UP IN REAL LIFE.

Blake: We gotta get you some muscles, pipsqueak lol. Maybe some facial hair too.

Blake: I mean, OBVIOUSLY, but like I said before, it was weird and squishy. And I do think I'd like it better with a dude, duh, I'm just also not like, wanting to turn into one of the predatory gay dudes around here lol.

Blake: I am honest with him! Lol he's my best bro and he's stuck with me forever and I don't wanna think about anything else, assuming you're in love with your best friend seems like hetero nonsense :p

Jake: I'm just trying to keep you humble... or am I?

Jake: REAL LIFE IS FOR CHUMPS!

Jake: But... but I can lift myself up to trees just fine! I am fine with being a pipsqueak, it makes it easier to play hide and seek!

Jake: ME WITH FACIAL HAIR OMG I DIE.

Jake: Oooh, gotcha.

Jake: It wouldn't be hetero if it was with two men. Or two women. Js.

#text: all #text: jungleboyblake

Bed, wed, behead: Rachel, Dizzy, Charlie

Bed: @racheladale

Wed: @dizzysdesigns

Behead: @little-charlie-hood (Sorry!)

#answered: all #answered: anon #Anonymous

dizzysdesigns

TOP 5 PEOPLE YOU'D MOST LIKE TO SLEEP WITH?

Was the last time I slept with someone not enough of a disaster? Do we really need to do this too? Fine:

@zevonchanca

@kovukiwa

@arietta–triton

@allyinwcnderland

@thediegodevil @itsjustjakeporter

itsjustjakeporter

I’m sorry your last time was a disaster. If you want, I can make you a sunflower crown. The flower seems to fit you: warm, bright, and bubbly.

#c: all #c: dizzysdesigns

TEXT 🌳🐒 PORTER BROS

BLAKE: Have a little faith, little dude! I've got mad game!

BLAKE: Weird is my M.O., if I didn't look goofy they'd be getting the wrong impression, bro!

BLAKE: Probably lol. Here's hoping you stick to girls then because the stuff I Googled about twinks is weird :-p

BLAKE: Uh... Is there someone you wanna have sex with, or are you just doing it to do it? Because just doing it to do it wasn't that fun for me but I haven't done it with a dude yet so I'm not sure. Still can't believe you did it before me, little man.

BLAKE: I don't know, I'm like, bro-zoned, I'm not gonna sit around thinking about it. Will's like, my forever dude, but he's really weird about feelings and stuff and doesn't want to have them for anyone, much less me.

JAKE: Yeah, sure you do.

JAKE: I MEAN TRUE BUT I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIE ON MATCHMAKR.

JAKE: *sarcasm* I totally thought I was a bear, GOD I'M A TWINK???

JAKE: I mean, I don't think there's anyone in particular? I think you'd like it better with a dude. Did you even get it up?

JAKE: Maybe, maybe not? Just be honest with him! DO THE THING.

#text: all #text: jungleboyblake

TEXT 🎤 JAVA

Nova: WOW, don't try me! I almost fired Elise as my sister, and firing a best friend is way easier.

Nova: I bet you've got it figured out too, smarty pants. You always know stuff before I do, you just don't tell me so I can feel smarter :-p And NICE. We should create our own superhero during it.

Jake: You wouldn't do that! Who is else is going to go on wild adventures with you?

Jake: Nah, I don't! I'm awful at trying to get stuff done. But, luckily being a mechanical engineering major means... um... that i can build stuff that we can explode?

Jake: WE SHOULD!

#text: all #text: novafitzherbert

TEXT 🌳🐒 PORTER BROS

BLAKE: Little dude! Come on, I am a hot commodity, I don't need to go straight to the dating sites, give me a few months to hit people up the organic way!

BLAKE: Although show me the pics, I wanna see what you'd choose 😂😂😂

BLAKE: I only know what twink and daddy are and I'm definitely more on the daddy end of the scale lol.

BLAKE: IF YOU THINK WILL'S MY BOYFRIEND FOR REAL THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO HOOK ME UP WITH OTHER DUDES? Something doesn't add up here, little liar bro :-p

JAKE: BIG BUBBA! I just wanna hook you up!

JAKE: I picked that baby pic when you're striking a pose (for giggles), one of you swinging from a vine (to show off your arms), that one of you holding a cake (to show how sweet you are) and that's all I got! The rest of your pictures you look weird in.

JAKE: Here they are. [IMG_12894], [IMG_12895], [IMG_12896]

JAKE: True. I'm pretty sure I'd be a twink.

JAKE: Also, should I have sex again? I haven't had it since my ex and now I feel like I'm missing out.

JAKE: BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE INTO HIM AND IF YOU AREN'T I DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE WEIRD. ARE YOU INTO HIM?

#text: all #text: jungleboyblake

TEXT 🌳🐒 PORTER BROS

BLAKE: I ignore you when you start saying things that aren't interesting to me, sorry little bro :-p

BLAKE: Isn't she the best? She made me some tea and asked if Will was my boyfriend lol

JAKE: Hey now. I need to know this information so we can properly set up your account on the gay version of MACTCHMAKR. I already have 5 photos of you picked out for it.

JAKE: Now, are you a bear, otter, twink, daddy, or... I've already forgotten the other ones.

JAKE: We need to get you laid by the preferred gender.

JAKE: Wait... he isn't your boyfriend? Cause I mean, I ship it HARD.

#text: all #text: jungleboyblake

TEXT 🎤 JAVA

Nova: I'm fun and you love me :-p

Nova: Of course! Art class, some science class where I can make things go BOOM, an art history class, and uhh... Superheroes? How sweet is it that there's an English class about superheroes?

Jake: Love... you?

Jake: I... love you?

Jake: New information to me.

Jake: Seems like you got it all figured out. Also, I think I'm in the superhero class as well.

#text: all #text: novafitzherbert

(racheladale:)

Chocolate, duh! With a couple of packs of chocolate swirled with vanilla because they were running low. I’m not a heathen!

God bless you, sweet angel. Would you like a flower crown in exchange for the pudding?

#c: all #c: racheladale

(racheladale):

Someone help! I brought six packs of pudding with me to tourney camp (they were three for six dollars!) only to realize that the rooms we’re in for this have no refrigerators. Now I’ve got to eat like, 24 packs of pudding before they go bad, and I’m not sure I can make it. Cheerleaders? Hungry friends in Auradon City? Someone care to help me out here?