i bless the rains down in africa

@jungleboyblake

BLAKE OF THE JUNGLE Otherwise known as Blake Porter-Nottingham. Husband to Will. Son of Tarzan and Jane. Older bro to Hailey, the Ice Cream Queen. Lover of swinging from the trees, soccer, gorillas, tea parties with mom, Auratubing, and my hair. Blessing the rains down in Africa since 1997. 23. ASU ALUM '19.

1,302 posts

Posts

Who got rid of public hangings and why? I feel like it must have been so cool in the good old days to see people getting saved by throwing swords and bow and arrows slicing through nooses and stuff.

#asustarter #dash #//hello he's still stupid lol #and yes i just rewatched robin hood

text 💬 blandy

Andy: DON'T BE SELFISH! BRAS ARE A PRISON AND LETTING MY BOOBS OUT TO PLAY AT A WEDDING IS GREAT FOR ME!

Andy: Why don't you just nut up and buy a bag?

Blake: [read]

#text #text:andy #asuandy

text 💬 blarco

Marco: Awwww! You have to admit, that's sweet of him!

Marco: ROBBIE CAN'T BE CONTROLLED, IT'S WHAT WE ALL LOVE ABOUT HIM SO MUCH! Maybe your room just needs better security or something! Like a full time bouncer! Or a force field!

Blake: [read]

#text #text:marco #asumarco

text 💬 blassie

Cassie: OH MY GOSH for a solid minute I was convinced that had actually happened and I just FORGOT somehow!

Cassie: If TVs were metal birds, they'd be so much better. They're so boring as is, you know?

Cassie: What kinds of drugs would someone have to take to even imagine that kind of stuff? Just out of curiosity.

Blake: [read]

#text #text:cassie #asucassie

text 💬 olivake

Oliver: i dropped my cake on the floor... 😔

Blake: FIVE SECOND RULE!

#text #text:oliver #asuoliver

text 💬 blamille

Camille: it's kind of hard to receive judgment from someone wearing a bedsheet! it's like you just woke up, your brain can still be fuzzy from sleep??

Blake: [read]

#text #text:camille #asucamille #//rip camille

text 💬 blandy

Andy: THERE'S GOTTA BE! JUST BECAUSE I HAVEN'T FOUND HIM YET DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T EXIST! Aaaaaaaand I'm starting to date "for real" so your time of reigning supreme over my heart is coming to an end!

Andy: Never heard of it, but I'll look it up, unless I forget. MY LAUGHTER IS FAKE! BE FUNNY NEXT TIME!

Blake: [read]

#text #text:andy #asuandy #//five months old rip

n-atua:

Wait, so you’re telling me there’d be something other than tree surfing on Blake Day?

#//THE BEST BLAKE ACTIVITY #rip five month old starter i didn't use right #dash #dash:noa #asunoa

marcoalandale:

There would HAVE to be some kind of vine swinging thing! Like maybe a race! And all sorts of gorilla things, like people buying each other gorilla stuffed animals like how people buy each plushies on Valentine’s Day! Also, everyone has to have an amazing hair day that day! Any of that sound good?

#dash #dash:marco #asumarco

dolcedicaramello:

Maybe? If history has taught me anything it’s that the best way to get your fictional holiday celebrated is to incorporate it into a TV show. Treat Yo Self Day? Still see it on my dash and when I do, totally use it as a reason to buy myself a little something. Annoy Squidward Day? Totally recognized on the fifteenth of every month by annoying someone whose face I hate. I hate Seinfeld and I’m even aware of something called Festivus or something from it, because enough other people care. So really, what TV show are you going to make to publicize International Blake Day? Also, you probably want to come up with a better name, like Half Blaked Day or something. People love puns.

#dash #dash:dolce #asudolce

nottingblair:

Other than excessive playing of that Africa song? I dunno. Maybe a Blakey hair lookalike contest? May the best wildest little bouffant win?

#dash #dash:blair #asublair #//another five month old wasted starter #love that for me

text 💬 blamille

Blake: That’s a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet, but WHATEVER! I look great in this bedsheet and my judgment is CORRECT.

#text #text:camille #asucamille #camille-kluck #//random number 133

text 💬 blally

Blake: Just tell me what’s wrong!

Blake: Did the gorillas break your tea cups or something?

#text #text:ally #asually #ally-kingsleigh #//random number 41

text 💬 blabla

Blake: YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don’t think she’s going to call you.

Blake: That's so fucking awesome, though. I stan.

#text #text:blair #asublair #nottingblair #//random number 63

text 💬 blassie

Blake: You told them the TV just grew wings, unbolted itself from the window and threw itself at the ground, and then started to cry because you believed your own story and thought it committed suicide. I’m pretty sure the police were justified in drug testing you.

Blake: ...just kidding, that was a TikTok I saw. But if anyone I knew was gonna think a TV was secretly a metal bird, it would be you!

#text #text:cassie #asucassie #cassieadale #//random number 198

text 💬 blarco

Blake: we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos”

Blake: MARCO, CONTROL YOUR BOY! I love Cheetos as much as the next guy but I don't need Robbie in my room at 3 am!!! MK's already seen me naked, I don't need to bless ANOTHER Hood's eyes!!!

#//random number 180 #text #text:marco #asumarco #marcoalandale

text 💬 blandy

Blake: "I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don’t have to wear a bra with my dress"??????????????

Blake: ANDY, WHERE THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT MY STUFF IF I CAN'T USE YOUR BRA AS A PURSE??? I FEEL SO BETRAYED BY YOUR WORDS!

#//random number 129 #text #text:andy #asuandy #andreatriton

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