Day 4 of being in Manchester, and everything was going well until this morning...well, lunchtime. Woke up in my friend's studio I've come to visit, did a bit of work on my laptop and then went to meet him for lunch after his first lecture. After lunch I came back to his studio while he went to his next lecture and was greeted with the receptionist saying I couldn't be there without him, fair enough I suppose if its policy...she took the keys off me so I rang my friend, he came back to get the keys and she had told him I couldn't stay there anymore, which isn't part of the policy...she's just being an arse cause he complained about something last week. So instead of cutting my trip short, I booked a hotel room for 4 nights. Great, £400+ down the swaney. Checked in, nice room...quite posh. Had dinner with said friend at the hotel and a conversation I wasn't too happy about (shan't get into it in detail but basically saying 'just friends' for now. yeah right, a nice way to pie me off pal. But we'll see...It's still early). Attempted to go into the town center a few times, and by attempt I mean I put my coat on and took it off again, anxiety is a bitch....spoke with my auntie on the phone and she calmed me down cause low and behold, I'm stressing about my mother....again (cue eye-roll). Finally got the balls I needed to put my coat on and keep it on, left the room...good step one complete. Step two: leave the hotel... yeah, it took a while but after about 10 minutes of stalling, complete. Step 3: get up google maps so I know where the fuck I'm going...complete. Step 4: hardest one of them all, walk. Now it may not seem like a hard task to do but with god-awful anxiety it is. I did it though, started walking and ended up in the town center without realisation.. once I was there mind I was fine, slight anxiety because of the number of people but I just ignored them and concentrated on where I was going, to a certain extent. Walked around the shops for a while, and bought me a new book 'Daisy Jones & the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid' (had a lot of recommendations for this book, and high hopes). Now, this is where I hit a snag. Started walking back to the hotel and thought I'd be brave and not use google maps, big mistake. Got lost and ended up trying to help a homeless guy in a wheelchair to a hostel which I had somehow agreed to pay for. Unfortunately, there was no room so had to take him back to where he was, but on the way, we stopped at Sainsbury's so I could get him some food, £30 later and he was happy, and very grateful which made me feel warm inside, my good deed is done for the day. Maybe getting lost was a good thing, not for my bank balance but for mankind. Finally made it back to the hotel at gone 10pm, my feet were so sore and blistered, which I didn't realise until getting into the bath...fuck that hurt. Finally, I can relax, or so I thought. Phone rings, my sister, okay that's fine. Boy, was I wrong, mother has relapsed, fuck my life can't anything ever go right? Stressed? Yeah, you could say that. Anyway, no point dwelling on that right now, there's nothing I can do that I haven't already done. Will just have to talk to her when I get back. Meantime, bar. Got a drink and took it up to my room, put the tv on, The Beach came on, you know the film with a really young Leonardo DiCaprio in. I've never actually watched it from start to finish so I left it on, mainly because I couldn't be bothered to find something else. Not a bad film to be honest. So that's finished and I'm now writing this before I get into bed at 01:11. I should be absolutely exhausted after the day I've had but a book it is. Night all.
