The first time I was on stage with a group of people I was in second grade. We put on a Christmas pageant at the school with all the older grades. I had done small recitals for small groups in ballet, but this, seemed like every person in the world was in that audience. I was so nervous I begged my mom and dad to take me home. My mom almost let me, but she and my dad decided to make me stick it out. My mother and papa never let me quit anything. I have never been more grateful to anyone. When I was up there it was like butterflies were in my belly, I was shaky and fiddling with my fingers. The music started and the words and moves just flowed out of me like rainbows. I felt like another person up there. My wacky personality came with a wacky attitude and wacky movements that usually got me in trouble but that night, they were getting me smiles and cheers!
Having friends up there with me was what made it easy. Our teachers, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, were amazing. I remember one teacher was deaf, and so were half of there students in the class. Hard to remember, it was a long time ago. So, the show was singing and signing mixed together. They made it so we were all one big happy family. Before the show I got nervous. Like, I want to vomit nervous. I had a friend named Arthur. He was deaf, like some of the other kids. I learned sign language just so I could communicate with them. I sure am glad I did cuase he was amazing at giving others the confidence boost they needed. You know the saying is true if you don't use it you lose it. Because I can't remember a thing about sign language because my friend and I lost touch when my family moved.
When we stepped on stage, I felt fearless and unstoppable as soon as the lights and the crowd came into view. It was magical, the feeling you get when a group of heartbeats are all on the same rhythm, same steps, same note. Seeing the looks on my friends' faces being able to feel the music even though they couldn't fully hear it, they could hear it. Every face lit up like the fourth of July and we rocked that winter wonderland routine. When we were done everyone stood up and cheered, some whistled and yelled out names. I have never felt a better feeling. Well, except holding my son for the very first time.
After the performance, our teachers and parents were so proud. We were proud of ourselves, especially Arthur and I. We were both so scared and we encouraged each other that we could do this if we do it together. That night sparked something in me. I needed to be on stage performing. Even made on to put on shows for my family with my cousin. She liked to dance and be on stage as much as I did.
You see, being on stage with a group of people, on the same rhythm, same steps, same tune, it is absolutely euphoric. I can't rightly explain the joy it brought me growing up. I made some amazing friends who became sisters. Being a part of a dance family was amazing. We still keep in touch and have proven we will always be there for each other.
In 2008, while practicing to audition for the School of Performing Arts in Los Angeles, I was in an accident. I fell and injured my tailbone and had to take time off from dance for a year or two. I was devastated. It was really hard avoiding doing what I love. Made my back so sore I couldn't move for days, I couldn't help but try, and I wasn't ready to let go. I focused on work and during that time I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy and sort of forgot about dance. Him and being a mom was all I needed at that point. It was always on my mind and I always thought, "I can always just go back to it." That wasn't what the universe had in store for me.
In 2014, I was in an auto accident with my boyfriend and little brother. It was pretty bad. The car was totaled. We were T-boned on the driver's side. I received back, neck and a brain injury. My frontal lobe was hit with the bumper of the truck, dislocated shoulder from the airbag, my neck, and my back received another fracture. That news came like a ton of bricks. I knew I would really never dance again. In the years since I have changed my path. To a newer, calmer, and more collected me. With giving up a passion you learn to love yourself. You can't be anything but grateful.
Dance is more than movements. It's an action you can't really control. When the music starts it just takes over your, mind, your body, and you know it grabs at your soul. It isn't just a movement, it's a feeling. You can feel it in your muscles, in your feet, in your hips, in your heart. It has the ability to bring life into everything. It is everywhere you go, in every show or movie you watch. Even on the street, you walk at times. Dance is one of the things that can bring multiple cultures together, and make them a family. It is what made me who I am today.
