While working in Japan, you may be invited to a 飲み会 (nomikai), which is a “drinking party”, with your colleagues. Although no one will make you go, if invited, you should take the invitation. Even if you’re not a big drinker, this is a good opportunity to communicate and to get to know your colleagues outside of work.
If this is your first time attending a drinking party, here is some advice on what you should and shouldn’t do.
The types of drinking parties
Before I get into the etiquette of drinking parties in Japan, here are some examples of drinking parties you might be invited to.
Bounenkai is the end of the year party, which happens sometime in December. The purpose of this party is to forget the woes of the year and prepare for the next year.
This means “new year party”. Companies may use these as an opportunity to set rules for the new year.
This literally translates into “Welcome and goodbye party”. Every year, in schools and companies, people are transferred to a new school or company and new people come in to replace them. At the “kansougeikai”, those who have transferred say goodbye and those who are new are welcomed. This type of drinking party will usually happen after the start of the school year/business year.
At all of these types of parties, it will be 飲み放題 (”nomihoudai”), which means “ all you can drink”. There’s usually a set menu of drinks that you can order from, and you can order as much as you want for a set amount of time, which is usually about 120 minutes.
Be prepared to listen to (a lot) of speeches
Especially at the end of the year party and the welcome and goodbye party, expect to hear a lot of speeches. Staff who left your school or company and the staff who joined will all give a speech. Depending on the number of people who have left and joined, it could take a while before you start eating and drinking.
If you see a colleague with an empty glass, you should go up to them and refill their glass, keeping the bottle label facing up as you do so. Expect that others will pour you a drink when your glass is empty too. Also, try to especially refill the principal’s or the boss’s glass when you can.
Move around and try to talk to everyone
After all the speeches are finished and drinks have been pouring in, you should try to communicate with your colleagues. Take a bottle of beer (or wine) and pour a colleague’s empty glass. While you’re at it, take the time to talk to them for a bit.
Don’t start drinking before the first “kanpai”
It is considered rude to drink before everyone has gotten their drinks and before the group “kanpai” or “cheers”. You may have to wait a while, so be patient.
Don’t pour your own drink
I made this mistake once of pouring myself a glass of beer at my first drinking party, and the teacher sitting next to me immediately told me that I shouldn’t do that. If your glass is empty, take a bottle of beer (or wine) and find someone to pour a glass for and they will reciprocate the action. Always hold your glass up so that they can pour you a drink.
If you feel like you’ve had enough to drink, just keep your glass full so that no one will refill it for you. People will take the clue and see that you’re done for the night.
Don’t just sit where you want
What I’ve noticed about Japan is that people seem to be more hesitant to chose where they sit, especially at a work-related drinking party. Usually at a “bounenkai” or “kansougeikai”, there may already be a seating arrangement.
Don’t leave before the drinking party is over
You’ll stand out like a sore thumb if you leave before the drinking party ends. Wait until the host of the party officially says it’s over before heading home. There may be an after-party called 二次会 (”nijikai”), which is optional to attend.
So there you have it. Drinking parties are a nice way to let your hair down and get to know you colleagues. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re not sure what you should be doing, follow the golden rule: Do as the Romans do. Just be aware of what others are doing around you and follow suit.