Good news is I'll be dead soon

TAZ fanart dump. I really like Taako. This is a sideblog, so I can't follow you back from here. Please don't follow if you're under 18! ABOUT + FAQ! * AO3!

[itsmyhugbear]

news

hey!

if you guys are interested in the NSFW stuff which has had nowhere to since this blog kicked it, good news! I made a NSFW twitter and christened it with a 62-page sketchbook for PWYW download.

https://twitter.com/pandiaselene

hope everyone’s doing well! <3 <3 <3

[itsmyhugbear]

Word is you're leaving this blog? If that's the case, I'd love to know where I can find your art elsewhere! It's really good and is like to see what other things you draw

thank you! my main is kissriot and I’m on twitter at kiss_riot. this is my third time saying so, so I won’t be responding to future asks about this! hope youre well!

[itsmyhugbear]

hey! I know you're planning on abandoning this blog and whatnot (and I've totally already followed all your public accounts because I love your art) but I just wanted to tell you that your art and your work has been some of my favorite in my year plus in the TAZ fandom. In a fandom that does a lot to bastardize Taako's characterization, you really let him be messy and weird and every bit of it warmed my heart. Thank you so much for making these amazing creations, and I wish you the best.

god this is the kindest, sweetest message, thank you so so much.... it really means a lot to me that you’ve been pickin up what I was putting down in that way. your support means a lot! I wish you the best too! <3

[itsmyhugbear]

are you saying that drawing taako is bad??????????

yes

[itsmyhugbear]

this isn’t a zero sum game, I can have my feelings on this and you can have yours and both can coexist without threatening each other :-) it’s possible you struggled to follow my post before because you were seeking a black and white “A is problematic, B is good” outcome when there isn’t one. I respect that the character means different things to different people. he means something to me wherein I dislike dainty uke-type depictions of him, others could feel differently for a whole variety of reasons. if you wanna come to terms w your discomfort with this topic you could reexamine what might have made you see Taako the way you do, probe your feelings around more typically masculine-looking people presenting in feminine ways. if you don’t wanna, I promise I’m not gonna come to your house and beat you up or anything, I’m just one rando on the internet and lots of people disagree with me  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[itsmyhugbear]

more anon responses re: taako and femininity. just as a little reminder, this blog isn’t active as an art blog any longer, though I’m not gonna ignore messages or anything ha ha. please check out my main or twitter if you’d like to keep following my art!

lotsa discourse ahead, I mentioned yesterday I wasn’t interested in censoring my thoughts for the sake of palatability anymore, so I’m just gettin real salty over here. apologies!

I appreciate this message but am not quite sure how to interpret your meaning, since the sentiment you’re referring to - that for men, gay isn’t synonymous with flamboyance and effeminacy - is kind of different to what I was discussing and in fact my Taako is pretty effeminate, I draw him in skirts and dresses or fashion normally seen as womanly quite often, and as a character he is quite flamboyant and effete! I wasn’t discussing the choices Taako would make in presentation but the choices I make in depicting his facial structure and physique. I’m not sure that the prevalence of soft ‘womanly’ features, wide hips, narrow shoulders etc in real life gay men is necessarily an issue people on tumblr are debating either way lol. But certainly the prevalence of those things in depictions of gay men is an issue, ergo with BL manga and stuff, where one participant seems to always require wide eyes, a heart-shaped face, narrow shoulders, small hands etc - in short, features that are generally associated with women, and with the descriptor ‘beautiful’. 

Of course I agree that many gay men do not present or behave in a flamboyantly feminine way, I’m not sure anyone is debating that. As it were Taako is a gay man who is flamboyant and feminine. I was arguing that the tendency of fandom to depict him as ‘beautiful’ in a womanly way, independently of his presentation and behaviour, can be read as pretty homophobic. Like it speaks to a deeply entrenched discomfort with a man, who looks and acts like the socially constructed image of ‘a man’, exhibiting untoward ‘girliness’. In the same way, those who are invested in his identity as an unapologetically gay man sometimes feel the need to try and defend him from allegations of femininity, as though being flamboyant or effeminate in presentation is something that detracts from his maleness or otherwise undermines his male identity. Of course not all gay men are feminine, but the fact that many do not want to be associated with that stereotype speaks to internalised homophobia in its willingness to throw men who do conform to those stereotypes under the bus, to position them as “the wrong type of gay” for not assimilating.

And obviously Taako’s written and acted by a straight man and there is all sorts of analysis and critique to be done on the choices he made for Taako. But Taako exists, is complex and funny and intelligent and flawed, is so loved and important to so many people, in many ways is the driving force of the entire narrative - it was his quick thinking that saved Magnus in Wonderland; he’s the one who restored the connection between the Material and Astral Planes; he killed John; he was the only one to see outside of Lucretia’s and Lup’s respective plans at the crucial moment! And he’s an effeminate man who expresses unapologetic attraction towards other men and wears skirts! That’s kickass! He has a shrill falsetto drawl and he wears skirts and he is “the wrong type of gay”, and he’s one of the most iconic heroes in fiction for decades! Is it that deep? Am I responding in a reasonable, measured way to a podcast man who cast fireball with his butt? No it isn’t and no I am not! But it means a lot to me that he exists and is a man and it bums me out to see him emasculated by fandom sometimes!

(also - I realise I was responding to a lot of stuff you didn’t even say anon and I apologise, I know we’re in agreement, I was just using your message as a springboard to talk more about stuff that’s been on my mind for a while!)

I’m glad you like my depiction of him! Being that I’m cis I feel like any statement I make on Lup’s design could be pretty fraught so I’m not gonna, but I do draw Lup with boobs. I kinda feel like it’s not for me to make statements on how trans women should or shouldn’t express their femaleness... I mean hopefully my drawings of her speak for themselves! I definitely do agree though that neither Taako nor Kravitz needs to be depicted as ‘the woman’ of their relationship, lol. Thank you so much for your kind words!

I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS BUT I LOVE IT?

[itsmyhugbear]

hEY this might seem like kind of a weird thing to focus on but i *really* like how you make taako look masculine??? like a lot of the fandom makes taako look *entirely* feminine and super conventially attractive, but ive always pictured taako as kind of a non-conventionally attractive dude who embraces both his femininity and his masculinity. i can totally picture taako's voice coming from your design! ive tried to model my taako design after yours, i'm a huge fan of your art!!

anon! thank you so much! <3 I don’t find it a weird thing to comment on at all, it’s something I’ve always been very conscious of in my TAZ fanart. I honestly was pretty bummed at Griffin making it canon or whatever that Taako was super beautiful during The Suffering Game bc somehow to me a super femininely attractive Taako runs kind of counter to what makes his character appealing in the first place? I’ve always found the fandom’s tendency to kind of emasculate and neuter Taako physically to be pretty objectionable, like he can’t be flamboyant and unapologetically effeminate without looking “soft” in a traditionally feminine way (which is a whole other conversation lol, but st that I think abt a lot as a gnc lesbian). It kinda bothered me that canon-sanctioned interpretations started to move in the same direction, but GN taako is so cute too, even if I have trouble imagining Justin’s goofy Eeyore voice coming out of his mouth kfdsjhgd

anyway sorry for the tangent! you just happened to get to the heart of an issue that is quite important to me in my art on a wider scale too? I really appreciate your kind words tho anon, I hope you’re having a good day!

[itsmyhugbear]

Hey! I deleted my post from yesterday cuz someone reblogged it fkjxhfs (it’s cool it’s my b for forgetting to tag it) I really didn’t want it to spread. But I got a lot of supportive messages which I really really appreciate! I should clarify, as far as Gay Shit goes, the issues I was having were intracommunity, I wasn’t being targeted by straights, I was arguing with other LGBT-identified people who didn’t like my impolite tone in calling out homophobia. Which I find misguided and derailing and childish, but it wasn’t my intention to expose other wlw to vitriol just because I disagreed with their community’s priorities. Regardless I am supremely appreciative of all the replies I got encouraging me to continue hating the straights! you are good people.

I’m not sure if I’m gonna be active on this blog anymore, I don’t draw enough TAZ stuff anymore that splitting my online brand feels useful or necessary. For disclosure’s sake my main is @kissriot and you can find me on twitter at kiss_riot as well (which is where I’m most active). I don’t post NSFW stuff there generally, but if that’s something that interests you stay tuned because I’m thinking about starting a separate NSFW archive for original stuff as well as fanart and if I do I’ll post about it there.

Hope everyone’s well!

[itsmyhugbear]

au taakitz dump from my main where i pretend theyre randos to avoid embarrassment. dont tell my internet boss i like fanfic

[itsmyhugbear]

lucretia lesbian

[itsmyhugbear]

OH yeah that tracks! that’s been my title since I started this blog nearly a year ago though hehe... it’s a taako quote from the eleventh hour! don’t panic!

[itsmyhugbear]

Not to kinkshame but im kinkshammimg all of you motherfuckers that wanna stick your dick in an ear, all you would get out of that is a grade A ear infection. This has been a PSA

I got this message weeks (probably months) ago but anon’s right, please don’t stick your dick in an ear. that’s not where that goes

[itsmyhugbear]

te quierooo mua

QUIEN ES????? i wonder

[itsmyhugbear]

oh god please tell me your ok?!?! i read you bio?;?!

???!! I havent changed my bio in months! I’m ok anon! same as ever, sad and lethargic but managing. I’m at work right now, but I’ll be uploading some porn tonight (long time no see)!!

[itsmyhugbear]

[itsmyhugbear]

[itsmyhugbear]

Do you draw any magcretia?? I feel like there’s barely any anywhere and it’s a good ship like Julia and Magnus.

i support you in your quest to find rare ship content and no personal hard feelings, but i’m really sorry, i will never draw this because lucretia is a lesbian