Solo Travel Safety Tips - The Real Shit
So I just finished a road trip across the country, and I noticed how good my intuition has gotten, like I pretty much always can figure out where I'll be safe, and the only time I've met trouble, my gut told me it was coming, and I (stupidly) ignored it. And I feel like so much of the travel safety advice I see is... uhh pretty racist and classist, I thought I'd write about the real shit. (disclaimer, this is USA focused and written by a white chick, if you got different experiences and something to add, please do!!)
Wayyy too many Christian Churches. Starting off with a controversial one, but honestly this is the biggest indicator I've found of how safe a town or city will be as a queer chick traveling alone. A church, two, three, fine. Normal. But roll into a town and they've got a shit ton of christian churches, like a truly weird amount? Named not just the normal (town name) church, but the church of (some long-ass shit you never heard of)? Times 10? And half of them are out of some guy's house? Yeah that level of fracturing of local churches is a sure sign of religious extrimism and I can pretty much promise you that area's got some pretty wild views about women, queer folks, and people of color.
Look at who ISN'T there. Yeah, walk into a town and you don't see anyone but white folks? Very few or no women in public who aren't accompanied by a man? No children playing outside? Nobody queer flagging in public? Get outtt. There's a reason they ain't there, and it isn't pretty. Trust me, I grew up in one of these, and people don't just not go there by chance.
How folks are acting. Look at people's body language. Are there kids in public? Are their parents relaxed or rushing them along holding onto them tight? Are people jumpy and looking over their shoulder, walking fast? Are people hauling ass in their cars through town, barely stopping for red lights? Is every single woman dressed in a way to cover and hide her whole body, even if it isn't weather-appropriate? Don't look at straight white guys when you're doing this, they act confident af wherever they are. Look at everyone else.
Are there non-chain businesses? I feel a little hesitant putting this one on, because a lot of towns with predominantly chains are just in poverty, with local businesses having been put out of business by large chains. But if there's straight-up NOTHING? Not even a local barbershop or salon, or farmer selling roadside, or hole-in-the-wall restaurant? No corner shops? And the only thing is like a Walmart and Subway, each surrounded by cops? Nope. Double this if all the chains have signs saying how they don't have public bathrooms.
Are cops driving non-standard cop cars? Cops in Ford SUVs or whatever is pretty normal, but if you see cops in a wild array of luxury cars? They siezed them. Super bad sign of unchecked police corruption, move along. Under the speed limit and following traffic laws to the letter if you're in a nice car.
Are you being watched like a zoo animal? You know the feeling, eyes on the back of your neck. If you get this vibe, head out. Anywhere chill, people will be minding their own business, or starting a conversation with you directly. If you're being gawked at, that shit tends to escalate.
Is there a surveillance culture? Every house and business has a "Smile :) you're on camera :)" sign, there is a Ring camera on every door, and if you walk into a business the first thing you get is a person with a fake ass smile being like "Caaaan I hellllp you?" Double this if a stranger in public asks if they can "help" you, cuz there's never any help to be had if you say yes. I see this the most in rich areas, that are really hostile to outsiders, and where the people with money have close ties with local corrupt cops.
Is someone trying to stop you from leaving? This one might seem obvious, but it's a HUGE one that I wanted to end this with. The #1 indicator that a specific person is going to be trouble, is if they have a problem with me leaving a place or situation. It's not usually as obvious as grabbing you or blocking an exit, it's often the more subtle shit like someone trying to gently guilt you for saying you're heading out soon, or walking with you when you try to head out for a minute. (I sometimes test strangers I'm thinking of hanging out with by saying "scuse me for a minute, I need to find a restroom / trash can / quiet spot to call my mom back / place to refill my water bottle" and if they follow me or stand watching where I go like a damned meercat??? RUNNNNN. People who don't mean you any harm will be like "alright" and wait for you to come back, not follow you around.)
Also one more tip - I don't care that I'm almost 30, I still have code words to use on the phone with my mom like a middle schooler if shit goes bad. Not going to say the real ones because that defeats the point, but they're something like "stew" and "going ham" where if something minor is happening I'll just say the stew part but if shit is going down, I mention the ham.
So like "Hey Mom! Do you still need a stew recipe for Jess's buffet tomorrow? Which one was it?" "Oh shit, what's wrong?" "Oh nice, we're going ham? I'll text you aunt Maggie's recipe! And did I tell you, I just got to Denver! I'm at the hotel bar!" "What's wrong?" "Aw I can't talk long, I was just talking to this guy - Joe, he's apparently an architect? He reminds me so much of Mr. Wilson, remember him?" "Joe, an architect? In Denver? Who's like MR. WILSON? Shit." "Yeah! Totally!!"
