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@itsseverus-blog
[text]: FACT #54. SCRAWNY TOSSERS boasting BIG NOSES and PATHETIC INFATUATIONS with DECENT PEOPLE should really just transport themselves to the NEAREST GARBAGE COLLECTION POINT where they will be swiftly CRUSHED to the JOY of the ENTIRE POPULATION.
[text] I see I’ve hit a nerve
[text]: CONGRATULATIONS!! By entering the names JAMES and SIRIUS you have subscribed to our database of over 1700 MARAUDERS FACTS. DID U KNO that SIRIUS BLACK'S GENITALIA spans over 346KM and its MAN-JUICE actually created the RIVER THAMES.
[text]: Incidentally, the only thing BIGGER and WETTER than SIRIUS BLACK’S PENIS is YOUR MUM.
[text] So, not very big and not very wet? [text] At least I still have a mum
[text]: the BIGGEST NOSE on record spanned a whole 346KM and its SNOT actually created the RIVER THAMES.
[text]: Incidentally, the only thing BIGGER and WETTER than the RIVER THAMES is YOUR MUM
[text] Who is this? James? Sirius? It has to be one of the Moron-ders, only one of you could have an IQ capable of producing this level of child-like idiocy
[text]: people with big noses have big shoes? We'll add that to our 2500+ BIG NOSE FACTS YOU'VE SUBSCRIBED TO.
[text] What other ‘facts’ do you have on the topic? I’d love to hear 2500+
[text]: CONGRATULATIONS you have subscribed to BIG NOSE DAILY
[text]: to unsubscribe please text the words I LICK MY MOTHER’S TOES AND MOAN SENSUALLY AT THE BITTER SALTY TASTE to 0121DO1[text]: want a taster, big boy? Well have we got the big nose news for YOU[text]: you know what they say about men with big noses? DISAPPOINTING GENITALIA.
[text] Funny as you may believe yourself to be, hiding behind a hidden number only serves to make you look insolent[text] If anything, having a big nose should link up with the saying about big feet, should it not? or is this outlash tainted with a hint of school boy ‘lad’ envy?
Teenage Rebellion 101 | Regulus + Severus
Regulus chuckled. “I think we both deserve a night off from one of the famous Black Manor gatherings don’t you? You don’t have to drink Sev, I’m not asking you to get wasted, I’m asking you to come to a party with me because it will be fun. I say ‘asking’ but I mean ‘forcing’.” He turned back to look at his phone, finishing applying the eyeliner before grabbing his docs and pulling them on. He stood then, surveying his room to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. His gaze landed on his decks again and he grabbed it quickly, placing it in his backpack with a content nod.
He scoffed as Severus laughed, being his usual picky self when no clothes came in the darkest of black. “You need to wear shit that will glow, that’s the choice you have, do hurry.” Regulus opened his door a crack, listening to the party downstairs and he noticed that the party was still going strong. His head snapped around to his window, and a mischievous grin grew over his face as he looked at Severus. “I hope you’re good at climbing.”
“I suppose it couldn’t hurt to just come along and watch everyone act like idiots, I mean, it has to be better than my parents shuffling me from couple to couple trying to show me off.” He smirked, shuddering at the thought of being displayed like a decorative vase. He sighed at Regulus. Shit that’ll glow? The aim for Sev at any gathering was to try and not stand out as much as possible, and now he was willingly being pulled along to a party where the aim was to stand out as much as physically possible. “Fine” He said as he got himself out of his formal suit and tie get up, throwing on a white shirt and black skinny jeans. (Black had to be there somewhere). “White will pick up the UV well enough, and if it doesn’t, I’m sure you’ll find a way to make me ‘glow’” he grinned at the boy. Sev didn’t have a soft spot for many people, especially not the Blacks, but he couldn’t help but be fond of Regulus. Perhaps it was because he could relate to him. He didn’t really try to analyse it too much, Sev was quite happy just going along with it. “Climbing?” He said, raising a quizzical eyebrow. “You’ll be the death of me, you know. Come on, let’s just go”
Teenage Rebellion 101 | Regulus + Severus
Regulus sighed with relief as he heard the tones of Severus’ voice through the door, throwing off his formal dinner jacket and shirt and opting to change into skinnies and his baggy black skeleton shirt, knowing the design would show up under the party lights. His heart was hammering in his chest, but he couldn’t stop grinning. He felt a certain thrill and he only had good hopes for the night, trying to stay ever the optimist. He quickly opened the door and dragged Severus in before shutting the door behind him. He turned around with a grin. “Don’t scare me like that, dickhead. Now, get changed we’re going out.” He waggled his eyebrows at his friend, shoving other luminescent clothing into Severus’ hands.
“We have less than half and hour to get there, and I’m hoping you can help with that. 10 Taviton Street. You know it?” He asked, messing up his hair and debating whether eyeliner was too far as he looked at himself in the mirror. He clicked his fingers in Sev’s direction before nodding and deciding that eyeliner was indeed going to happen tonight, the didn’t need the paint until they got there. “Chop chop Snape. Someone’s going to notice we are gone, and I preferably want that to happen after we sneak down the porch.”
Sev stumbled into the room after Reg released him from his grip. “I knew you were...” he paused, watching as his friend shook his hair up. “...up to something” he chuckled, rolling his eyes at the sight of Reg expertly applying eyeliner in the front camera of his phone. "I just didn’t realise you’d be sneaking out of your own family party” Really, he was impressed. Reg had the guts to do what Sev had wanted to do at most of the formal gatherings his parents had dragged him along to. “I know the house, yeah, but I can’t go along to this, I really shouldn’t” he sighed. “In case you haven’t heard, I don’t mix well with alcohol” he mumbled, not knowing what to do in this situation other than look at his feet. Just the idea of taking a shot made his stomach turn.
Turning away from Regulus proved to be a bad idea though, as he suddenly got a faceful of brightly coloured clothing just thrown his way. He pulled a shirt out of the pile. “And I’m certainly not going dressed like that” he laughed out, begrudgingly removing his suit jacket.
Teenage Rebellion 101 | Regulus + Severus
Regulus needed to stop watching the clock. This was the second time now that one of his parent’s guests had asked him a question during this shambles of a cocktail party and he had not been listening to anything that had been said. He didn’t care about what they had to say, but of course, that’s obviously not the attitude he needed to show here. Regulus met the young girl’s eyes and sighed. Ahh, another young soul being forced to these exciting meetings. “Sorry, I seemed to be away with my thoughts, what was it you said?” He asked, not being able to help his eyes being drawn towards the large grandfather clock that was situated in the entertaining room. She smiled. “Oh, I was just asking about yourself, you’re parents mentioned you couldn’t attend these parties often. I was just curious to why.”
Regulus found himself taking a step back as she took a step forward and he became rather uncomfortable at her smile. “Studying.” He choked out, scowling. The resounding sound of the Grandfather clock declared throughout the room that it had just turned eight o clock. He perked up immediately. He gave a small bow. “Which is what I need to do now, Goodbye.” He slipped away before the girl could corner him again and made his way to one of the doors, slipping through it with ease and leaning against it as it closed behind him. Regulus sighed, well that was the easy part over with.
He had packed a bag earlier and everything was ready to go, all laid out on his bed. Getting alcohol was easy, there was plenty to go around and his mum drank the stuff enough so one or two bottles wouldn’t go missing. He had managed to get to his room and was currently deciding whether or not to take his decks or not when a knock came at his door. Regulus froze. “Who is it?”
Family gatherings were right at the bottom of the ‘what do i want to be doing’ pile. It was all upper class, fake personas mixed with snide attitudes and “How do you do?”s and “Oh well I’ve just recently invested in”s. He did his best to integrate and make the most of a dire situation, but not even his absolute best efforts could make this gathering of intolerable people more enjoyable for the boy, resulting in his spending the majority of the evening nodding, smiling and doing his best to avoid small talk by hovering around lesser populated areas of the building.
He found himself sat on the bottom of the stairs, nose stuck firmly in a book he had nabbed from the living room bookcase, which contained books in mostly pristine conditions that appeared to be more ornamental than anything. The first one he had plucked out was the classic Alice in Wonderland, which although had a childish aire about, served as a suitable escape for the world he had presently found himself in. Wonderland would be amazing right now. Or at least a potion to reduce his size so he could escape beneath a door.
His attention to the novel faltered for a moment as he heard banging coming from the top of the stairs. The party was exclusively downstairs, so whoever had ventured upstairs certainly piked his interested. Sev placed the book on the step for a moment, listening out to hear for more noise. Sure enough, another thud. He stood up, venturing up and outside the door before giving in a rather hasty knock before hearing Regulus’s hushed voice. “Uh, It’s Severus, just investigating the noise. It everything alright?” he said hesitantly, the door still in the way of him and the Black brother.
Severus Snape: Alcohol
If you’re going to just stand there and stare at the board at least do it out of the line of people behind you.
“Apologies” He said as he blinked back into reality. “Lost in thought. Expresso, Assuming that isn’t too much trouble”
Broody Beethoven| Severus & James
Severus had never really done something to him. But the sight of Lily crying, the sight of her heartbroken made James loathe the mere thought of Severus Snape. Sure, he felt guilty, sure he might even have true feelings for the redhead. But that didn’t help him at all on James’ eyes.
Try doing what Remus would do, what would Rem do? He’d keep it cool. He’d be a better man than he his. A man worthy of Lily. Severus is not worthy. You are, Potter. Keep it together man. His most sensible part cried for him to remain calm, turn around and leave the other male to his thoughts. But he also knew he had kept his feelings in for way too long that day, and Severus’ tone was simply begging for him to talk back. “Oh, but I wasn’t seeking you out. Sorry to disappoint you Snivellius.” James let the nickname slide out of his mouth like poison, he knew he was asking for a fight and something inside him told him he would soon regret it. But the words kept coming out without his permission.
“I was minding my own business when I got the unmistakable scent of something rotten, turns out it was only you. Anyway, Rosie down there, the lovely woman in charge of this place asked me to take the rubbish out and I’m happy to help. Sadly I wouldn’t get near you with a 20 meter pole, and neither would Lily, it seems.” James shrugged, nonchalantly.
He understood why he would be apprehensive and affrontish with him, really he did. If roles were reverse, he would be the same. No, actually, he wouldn’t be the same. He would be comprehensively worse to the point of brute aggression. So hey- yeah, you could definitely say he understood James and his attitude towards him. “Well, i suppose this encounter was all sheer coincidence them, hmm?” It wasn’t that unbelievable really, I mean, they both went to the same University so there was quite a high probability of a run in, however unwanted those run ins were. He inhaled deeply at hearing that old, dragging, pathetic excuse for an insult. Snivellius. “You really are fucking infantile” he spat, his fists clenching and releasing rhythmically to release excess aggression he felt coursing through his body like lava. Sev was pretty controlled, really. He always had a little super power when it came to being able to control his emotions- but James was his kyryptonite, and James discussing Lily was like having that kyrptonite shoved into his chest and continuously twisted. “What does she see in you?” he said, brow furrowed and eyes glaring at the boy stood in front of him. “You aren’t worth my time” he muttered, rising from his seat and yanking his bag from the floor.
Fresh prince of fresh air| Sev + Reg
Regulus raised his eyebrows at that. Ahh, Severus. Good to know he was as prickly as always, Regulus noted that the family card could be played again, and tucked that little tit-bit of information to the back of his mind. Everyone knew his family was broken, so he was used to people commenting about his “stain of the family tapestry” that used to be his brother. As long as they didn’t talk about him directly, it was enough to shrug off. “I hear you see him more often than I do.” he shrugged. “It’s the season for party after party it seems. Although mother missed your parents at the last one, I’m sure they missed out on a great time.”
Sev scoffed. “Unfortunately, that does seem to be the case doesn’t it. Though I would much prefer if it were the opposite” he said, rolling his eyes at the very thought of having to spend time with the other Black spawn. “I suppose blood really isn’t thicker than water.” he teased, taking a moment to stir the remainder of his coffee. He could relate, really he could, even if his attitude did not reflect this and was clearly standoff-ish. He just didn’t have what Lily used to described as ‘people skills’. The memory of those times always caught him off guard, and he felt his cold demeanor relax. Ugh. He could just hear Lily’s voice inside his head telling him to chill the heck out. Fine. “So” he paused, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He was trying, really, he was.
“Have you really not seen him that much? I mean, he’s only at University. I mean, I have complete and utter distaste for him on a base level, but family, even if only genetic, is the only seeming guarantee in life- seems a shame to pass up on keeping it close”. Good job, Sev. Was that good advice? Reassuring? He let out a small sigh, keeping his eyes on Regulus to try and determine the apparent success or failure of his outreach.
“Oho, I think we both know I know exactly what I’m talking about here. If only you’d held your tongue maybe you’d still have one of those rare friend things to speak of - pity. For you, I mean. The rest of the world can breathe a big long sigh of relief that Severus Snape doesn’t have reason to sniff around us like a desperate mutt anymore. And yet, here you are. Why are you here, by the way? If not to make my day even more of a fucking nightmare.”
“I don’t remember this having anything to do with you? I was drunk, it was a mistake, and the rest is between me and Lily- not you and that nose that just seems to have a habit for sniffing out things that doesn’t concern you. Why am I here? If you didn’t want other people responding to the stench of sweat and booze, maybe you should do everyone else a favour and drink yourself into a pit somewhere out of everyone else’s sight”
Broody Beethoven| Severus & James
James desperately needed to clear his thoughts, he had just arrived from his father’s company, James Potter Senior had given him the full tour, he hadn’t spared any detail of the hard work that would fall on James’ shoulders the second he graduated from university. I’m not ready. He wanted to say, he wanted to scream. I am trying dad, I swear I am, but I am not ready. I might never be. You have to give me more time. Instead James had joked around with his future coworkers, pretended to adore the rather dull view from his future office and quickly excused himself saying that he had a study date with someone, somewhere.
Ever since his mother’s miscarriage, James had found solace in music. The very instrument he had disdained all through his childhood and adolescence became his savior. He had bought himself books on the matter and self-taught to play his mother’s favorite music, surprising her with a new piece every time he went to visit her. Even though she always ended up asking for the same one.
The Marauder needed to make his way to the piano as soon as possible, to play John Barry’s adaptation of the 18th variation of Rachmaninoff’s Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini, his mother’s absolute favorite. It was then, when he played the notes that never failed to bring a smile to his favorite face in the world that the thought he could actually do it. He could be the son his parents wanted, the loving, caring, responsible son that would take up the family’s business.
He found his plan frustrated when someone else sat by the piano, other’s fingers danced over the keys, bringing music. And it was no other than Severus Snape, number two in the list of James Potter’s most despised people in the world, right below himself. “Oh, but how could I tear my eyes from you, when you are so handsome?” James mocked, a smirk spreading through his face. He needed a way to let out his pent up frustration, and he had just found it. Now Severus would have to deal with it.
Sev had been enjoying his moment of piece, letting the music fill every part of him as he let himself pour everything out from his fingers to the keys. It wasn’t often he got the chance to take time to mish over to the music department, and yet here he was, having found his moment, and it was ruined by no other than James Potter. The guy at the very top of his ‘to avoid at all cost list’ was stood right in front of him with a look that with simply begging to be wiped off.
It had been a long while since their last encounter, and that was certainly not an encounter Sev wanted to relive. The memory revolving around his loss of Lily was he had managed to push far down into his psyche, only having to contemplate in the most quiet of moments. Moments which he filled with music. But apparently, even that small pleasure was jinxed. Just the brief recollection of the moment made his heart feel as if it was going to drop out of his chest. Fuck. Fuck. Back in the box, memories. Sev let out a hollow laugh, the corners of his lips pulling up into an exasperated, exhausted smile. This was too good. He watched as the expression on James’s face turned into something patronizing and arrogant. He really hadn’t changed at all, unfortunately- still mistaking twatesque qualities for charm. “Oh, well I knew you had an unwarranted interest in me, Potter, but seeking me out? that really is a new low” What other reason could there be for him being in the music department? It wasn’t like he could actually be interested in music? No, his only interest was making that head of his even bigger than it already was.
Fresh prince of fresh air| Sev + Reg
Regulus cracked open an eye as he heard a rather familiar voice fill the air, and smirked slightly as he sat up when he matched the face to the voice. Severus Snape. One of the more.. dislikeable guests his parents had invited into the manor. Regulus held back a sigh as he realised his break would be intruded upon by good ol’ snivellus. He would never call him that to his face of course, he wasn’t a complete idiot like his brother.
Regulus’ smirk grew. “Fine. I haven’t got fleas yet, so theres my silver lining.” He shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee before crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair, arrogance coming off him in waves. He might not be able to walk the walk, but he could sure as hell talk the talk. “What about you Severus? How’s the family?” He smirked over the rim of his coffee cup as he watched Snape’s expression for any reaction. Now that his break was ruined, he might as well have a little fun.
The topic of family was probably up there with the incident in terms of things Sev never really wanted to discuss in depth, but over the year he had become used to putting on a rather proud, respectable poker face that made him look like the upper class, wealthy, perfectly loved son that the A list actors that were his parents wanted him to look like. “My family are well from what I hear, I’ve been too busy at University to see them. What about yours? Still yet to be intact?” he said calmly, taking a sip from his coffee, his stoic face turning smug as he awaited to see the response. It wasn’t that Sev especially wanted to push Regulus’ buttons, if anything, he related to his family issue. Staying with a family with very loose paternal/familial morals. If anything he was genuinely curious, but his tone and attitude had always been 5000 miles away from approachable.
