Feminism has hundreds of negative stereotypes ascribed to it and is accused of so many things that it can be hard to keep straight, but multiple studies show that feminism is beneficial to everyone. A study conducted by Molly Hurt, Jaclyn Nelson, and many other authors found that, “Beyond eating and body satisfaction… feminism may promote high levels of self-esteem and protect against feelings of distress,” but sadly no one seems to acknowledge this crucial fact. One such accusation is that it destroys heterosexual romantic relationships. Admittedly, if you buy into the distorted version of Feminism our society hurls at us, it is apparent that Feminism and romance could never be present together. According to society and the media, all Feminists are loud, aggressive, unattractive, women who want to see the destruction of men in general. We learned throughout this quarter that virtually none of this is true. Anyone from any background (including completely normal people) can be a Feminist, so if society’s concept of Feminism is incorrect what else have they been wrong about? Well, the next big idea that has been misinterpreted is that Feminism and romance are incompatible. A study done by Laurie A. Rudman and Julie E. Phelan proves that the two ideas actually need each other to function at full capacity. This study tested several different hypothesis regarding the interaction of feminism and romance in a relationship, and concluded that, “feminism may improve the quality of relationships, as opposed to undermining them” (Phelan, Rudman 798). There are plenty of advantages for both partners in a more feminist heterosexual relationship. If a man takes a feminist attitude, he is more inclined to be supportive of his partner’s career which takes some of the pressure off to be the only breadwinner. The woman might also feel a sense of freedom to pursue her own career goals and ambitions. If both partners are helping to support the family or couple and are free to strive for their own ambitions, they will each feel an extra sense of support that may not exist in traditional relationships. The study conducted by Phelan and Rudman provides factual evidence that this is true, but unfortunately our society is still stuck in its old feminist opposing ways.
Along with all the negative stigmatism that follow the term feminism, you can add another to the list, being cheated on. The media and society portrays feminists as women who become so strong that men must cheat on them. A recent example of this is the movie, The Intern. The main character, Jules, is a highly successful woman who started her own business. From the outside, her life seems perfect, career, house, family and husband. Mid way through the movie she learns her husband is cheating on her. Her first reaction is to blame herself and her ambitious career. Although it is a myth, some still believe the purpose for women is to please their husband. If a man cheats on a woman, then the blame circulates back to the woman and their lack of something. No matter how you slice it the woman is usually at fault. Since the beginning of feminism, it has been discouraged. But now it’s taken a new form. If you are a feminist, you will most likely be cheated on because you can’t possibly satisfy your husband and be a feminist which will ultimately drive him into the arms of infidelity. This means you failed as a wife and as a woman which is the opposite of what feminism is trying to achieve. The purpose of this idea is to prevent you from becoming a feminist in the first place. Having the strong woman get cheated on is just another way that society discourages feminism altogether. Additionally, when the woman who claims to be a feminist is cheated on but chooses to stay with her unfaithful husband then she is viewed as weak. She is harassed for not leaving him when she is supposed to be strong and not put up with demeaning behavior brought on by men. A prime example of this is Beyoncé and the speculations that her husband Jay-Z was unfaithful. Being a feminist doesn’t increase your chances to be cheated on. In reality, everyone has the possibility of being cheated on regardless if they identify as a feminist or not. In any case when someone commits adultery the circumstances are different. Being a feminist doesn’t make it a universal decision to leave your husband. Other factors play a role in whether the marriage should continue or not. In summary, cheating and feminism have no direct relationship.
Contrary to what we see in movies and pop culture, our own research into feminism and cheating on the DU campus showed us that college students believe that feminism can actually improve relationships. In our first project on cheating and open relationships, 91% of boys and 94% of girls said that cheating was not acceptable under any circumstance. This already begins to disprove the ideas that the media portrays about cheating by showing that on campus, cheating has a very negative connotation regardless of whether or not feminism is involved. Further, in our second experiment on feminism in relationships, we asked students on campus whether feminists could have healthy romantic relationships and 100% of students who took our survey answered yes. People also added comments to their surveys such as “Feminism should make a relationship healthier,” and “how could a relationship be healthy without feminism?” These results go to show that feminism is something that is positive in a relationship and is viewed as such on campus. According to Teaching the Conflict, “feminism is about the social transformation of gender relations” (Helmbrecht, Love 44), which in the minds of college students in today’s society is something that needs to happen and can help relationships flourish. Works Cited Hurt, M.M., Nelson, J.A., Turner, D.L. et al. Sex Roles (2007) 57: 355.doi:10.1007/s11199-007-9272-7 Love, Meredith A., and Brenda M. Helmbrecht. “Teaching the Conflicts: (Re)Engaging Students with Feminism in a Postfeminist World.” Feminist Teacher 18.1 (2007): 41-58. Web. Rudman, Laurie A., and Julie E. Phelan. “The Interpersonal Power of Feminism: Is Feminism Good for Romantic Relationships?” Sex Roles 57.11-12 (2007): 787-99. Web.
