I'm not running away

Tyler Parker | 22 | runner

[itstyler-parker-blog]

justinhyatt:

“Your efforts don’t go unnoticed.” Justin smiled proudly, all teasing aside. “You are my favourite person. No one could ever replace you, and how important you are to me.” 

Justin scoffed at Tyler’s remark, “Unrealistic? Waffles are fantastic. I’m offended you have such a low opinion of them.” He jutted his lip out in a dramatic pout before breaking out in laughter. “I hope so, too. It would be nice to have a change. You can only eat so much porridge before it turns your brain, and taste buds to a similar mush.” He smirked, knowing that was their likely option for breakfast.

“I know, I love waffles. But I don’t think waffles will be served her for another while. Not until we have more and better food.” Tyler laughed alongside Justin, knowing all too well how horrible it was to eat the same, lousy breakfast for a long period. “Now you’ve got me wanting waffles. And dreading the porridge even more. It’s just so boring and bland.”

[itstyler-parker-blog]

justinhyatt:

Justin flushed at the confirmation, ducking his head to avoid direct eye contact. A coy smile warmed his face, knowing that no matter how much praise Tyler showed, he’d always counteract it with kind words of his own. 

He lit up at Tyler’s reaction, a comfortable warmth flooding into his lungs. Tyler was so sweet to him, and watching how content he seemed, only made Justin prouder to call him his own. “I’m so happy to hear that.” Justin beamed. “Well, the feeling’s mutual.” He smirked, “But you’re the best friend I could ever ask for.” 

Justin paused, hoping there would be better options compared to normal. “I could really go for some waffles. I don’t think that’s going to happen, though.” He laughed.

Knowing that Justin still saw him as his best friend, despite his new blooming friendship with Seth made Tyler happy. Justin was Tyler’s best friend, and would forever be his best friend. “Well, I try really hard, so I better be the best friend you can imagine. The feeling’s mutual, though. Best friend ever. Not even joking a little.”

“Waffles are a bit unrealistic, I think,” Tyler joked, although the idea of waffles for breakfast made his mouth water. “Hopefully things will get better soon, and we’ll be able to eat waffles for breakfast.”

[itstyler-parker-blog]

justinhyatt:

Justin smiled softly, keeping his eyes down to shield himself from blushing any further. “You can elaborate on that later… If you want to.” He stumbled over his words, failing to show the flirty nature of his comments. 

The laughter was comforting, calming his nerves as they sat down. “I like it.” Justin reassured, happy they could be so relaxed in such an environment. “I’m really glad you get to spend the day with me. I know we see each other every day, but I miss you, and I’m glad you care so much to get up and hang out with me. It’s nice to kind of experience real life with you again. It just makes me love you even more.. how well you fit into my life.. I feel blessed every day to be yours.” Justin kept his tone soft, and low, cautious that he could possibly be heard by surrounding tables, but eager to let Tyler know his feelings.

The soft smiles and shy eyes made a warm feeling spread in Tyler’s chest, knowing that he was the reason to those adoring reactions. “Trust me, I will,” Tyler commented half jokingly, although his words held truth. Knowing himself, he would most likely praise Justin once they were in the safety of Justin’s room again.

The compliments that flowed so beautifully our of Justin’s mouth etched a happy, content smile on Tyler’s face, a smile he knew wouldn’t fade until the day was over. “I’m pretty sure I’m enjoying this day more than you are. Of course I’m bothered to get up and spend it with you, you’re my favourite person, and basically my only friend here. Well, except the few runners I hang out with sometimes,” he rambled for a short moment, before stopping abruptly. “What’s for breakfast today, you think?”

[itstyler-parker-blog]

justinhyatt:

Justin flushed under Tyler’s teasing, taking the comments to heart, no matter the tone Tyler put on them. “M’not. You are.” He mumbled, embarrassed by his obvious reaction, bringing his hands up to rub at his cheeks as if it would help reduce the redness. 

He carded his fingers through his fringe, and nodded in the direction of Tyler’s pointing. “No I don’t!” Justin sputtered, severely failing at his attempts to stop turning into Princess Peach. “Let’s go in the corner.” He concluded, managing to smirk at Tyler as he gently tugged on the man’s sleeve. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were planning this on purpose.” Justin teased as he let Tyler’s sleeve go and continued walking towards the table.

The light pink on Justin’s cheeks made Tyler chuckle, happy to see that he could get such a reaction with only a few words. “Come on now, you are,” he assured the other, determined to one day make him see the things Tyler saw every time he looked at Justin. One day he would succeed.

The flustered look on Justin’s face as he tried to answer made Tyler burst into laughter, leading him to the corner table he had pointed at. “I was just joking, of course I know you won’t be the center of attention.” Once he managed to make himself stop laughing, he looked around them, not spotting anyone he knew. “I swear, I haven’t planned this. I’m just in a joking mood.”

[itstyler-parker-blog]

  justinhyatt:

Tyler’s smiles always comforted him. There was an unspoken praise behind those rosy lips that had made Justin feel appreciated ever since the first time the gesture had been directed his way. Their relationship had given him a new respect for fond gestures, and how deep actions could be with a strong meaning behind them. 

“I’m glad.” Justin smiled back, relieved to have an echoed support. It was still a battle for him to fight against what he had learned growing up to be true, but Tyler had always made him feel safe in his feelings, and that would never change.

He shook his head with a smile at Tyler’s protests, but laughed softly at his conclusion. “I can live with that. I’d rather be imperfect as long as that means I have you.” Justin reconciled, keeping his objections of Tyler’s perfections at bay. Justin’s smiled softly at Tyler’s whispers, joining the gamble with an echoed answer before he shifted his attention to their destination ahead, “Where do you want to sit?”

“Good thing you’re perfect and have me then, perfect boy,” Tyler joked, knowing that Justin would probably protest. It was a shame how Justin couldn’t always see the things Tyler saw; a beautiful, blonde boy with the most sparkling, lively blue eyes that were as deep as the ocean. It truly was one of the most breathtaking things Tyler had ever seen in his entire life, and he was so lucky that he could enjoy it every day.

Looking around at the tables, he pointed at one in a corner. “Let’s sit there, so we get some privacy. Don’t want everybody around us listening to our conversations, do we?” Tyler realised that the things they spoke about under two eyes weren’t things two guys would normally talk about. To minimize the chance of getting caught, being careful of their words would be important, as well as trying to stay out of attention. “Or would you rather be the center of attention?” He asked jokingly.

[itstyler-parker-blog]

justinhyatt:

Justin chuckled at Tyler’s explanation, admiring his response. “Top notch sources, right there.” He grinned proudly. “I know from experience, that you give amazing advice.” He answered honestly, smiling fondly as his tone softened in sincerity.

“He is nice.” Justin agreed, nodding along. “You have no complaints from me. I always wanted you. Maybe that’s selfish, but it’s true. You were my clarity, and I’m so thankful for that.” He confessed, glad that Tyler was just as content to keep him around.

“I am not.” He scoffed, being shaken out of his trance. “Clearly, you are the perfect one in this relationship.” Justin teased. It was hard not to grab Tyler’s hand, or show soft touches of affection, so words would have to cut it. “I know you will. I trust you more than I trust anyone else.” He promised, grateful that Tyler was this constant source of support, and belief in him. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m really happy it’s worked out like this. All the chaos, and pain aside, I wouldn’t change a thing about how we ended up here.”

The joy, happiness and pride Tyler felt from just listening to Justin talk about himself or others made it hard to resist a small kiss - how much could a kiss hurt? - though he knew he couldn’t risk even the smallest sign of affection. It was always admirable to hear how high Justin could speak of people, it was an amazing trait that Tyler loved. He was the positivity he needed in his life.

The only way Tyler knew how to show his gratitude in public was to smile, to give Justin the biggest, most appreciative grins possible. He would have to wait until the evening when they could hide in the secrecy of Justin’s room until he could finally give him those thankful kisses. “That’s great to hear. Not even selfish at all, I feel exactly the same.”

“You’re praising me too much here, I’m far from perfect. Let’s just say nobody’s perfect, not even you and I.” Although he viewed Justin as perfect, Tyler knew he was biased; there were probably a few people out there who thought neither of them were perfect. But that didn’t matter to Tyler, as long as Justin would keep him company. He risked a soft whisper of “I love you”, unsure if Justin heard it at all, before he spotted the food area. “Breakfast time.”

[itstyler-parker-blog]

justinhyatt:

“I’m glad you are.” Justin beamed fondly, happy that Tyler was enjoying himself this early into the day. It was almost easy to forget the fears they’d had about keeping their relationship hidden. Justin was caught up in the positive moments about having this extra time together, that his anxiety was nearly non-existent. He hummed softly, nodding along with Tyler’s comments, lips curling into a smirk at Tyler’s affectionate reminder. “Oh really? You have a good source for that?” He teased to mask the urge to kiss him. 

“No, I don’t think he will. Well, I hope not.” He answered more so to reassure himself. “Don’t tempt me to make you test that theory.” He chuckled,  “I know you’d look out for me.” Justin smiled, appreciating the fact that Tyler was always on guard for him. He only hoped he could return the favour. “Hey, you know you’re irreplaceable.. I would never hide anything from you, or even want to. I love you, Ty. You have nothing to worry about, I’m yours as long as you’ll have me.” Justin reassured him, just in case he was feeling shafted by the new friendship Justin had made.

He smiled lightly at Tyler’s comforting words, “Not even a little?” He questioned, not as confident in himself. “I do want to be able to stick up for myself more, though. I think I let too much get to me, and I want to be able to accept who I am without feeling ashamed of it. You started that for me, and I want to see it for myself.” Justin shared, exposing his vulnerability only to end with hopeful connotations.

“Uh, well. Source number one is me. I’m a very reliable source. I know that boyfriends give the best advice. Ever. And then you’ve got, uhm, you? You think I give great advice, right? That’s two sources, agreeing to my statement.” Tyler hesitated a bit, before grinning, figuring his conclusion was good enough. “Yeah, I’ll say boyfriends give the best advice, and so do the sources. For sure.”

“I don’t think he will either. He seems like a nice guy. Don’t really know him as well as you though, I think I’ve only spoken to him once or twice. Cool dude though.” Tyler didn’t have any doubts about Seth, convinced he was a nice guy, and a great friend for Justin. The first impression he had gotten from him was great, he could even consider Seth his friend even though they never spoke. “I know that, I was just joking. I’ll have you forever, if I can. Nothing to worry about at all.”

“I think you’re perfect the way you are. But then again, I always think you’re perfect.” Listening to Justin’s words, Tyler understood what he meant by changing. One day, he wished he could have the same high hopes for himself, to change for the better; to leave his fears behind and just jump into the deep end without any regrets. Maybe, one day, if Justin wanted to, they could tell someone else about their relationship. But the way he felt now, this was entirely out of question, no matter how much he loved the other. “I think that’s great, Justin. That’s a great change, I support that. And you know I’ll always help you if you need help.”

[itstyler-parker-blog]

justinhyatt:

“Pshtt of course it does. You’re my favourite.” Justin smiled proudly. “Geez, you’re offering all the compliments today. If you keep that up, you might just boost my ego.” He teased, smiling fondly in return. “Yeah, he is really nice. It’s mean to say, but he acts like more of a brother to me than Noah.” Justin shrugged, “It is a good feeling though, to have that kind of advice. It still feels almost foreign though. I’m still waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me - like it’s a cruel joke?.. I’m not used to it, I guess, but I’m trying to be.” He explained, shyly. 

“I’m trying to be a better version of myself. Be a little more confident, and not as vulnerable, because I’m willing to fight for us. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want you to know that I’d never give that up for anything.” Justin’s tone grew steadier with the confession, his voice stronger and more believable.

“I’m just really happy today. Apparently a happy Tyler means a lot of compliments for Justin.” Knowing they had the entire day ahead of them, a day to spend in each other’s company, was enough to make Tyler forget about all the troubles that existed outside of the camp. “It’s great that you can talk to him. Though you can still always talk to me, you know that right? Boyfriends give the best advice, I’ve heard,” he whispered the last part, in case anyone walked close enough to hear the dreadful word that he didn’t want anyone to hear.

“If Seth does anything to hurt you though, I’ll get him. Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure he’s a great guy. And if he’s not, I doubt he’ll be able to run from me. He better be good.” It was surprisingly hard to stop himself from taking Justin’s hand; he wasn’t sure why, he was scared shitless about anyone finding out about the two of them. Maybe the need to comfort and be close to the love of his life was stronger than his fear of his past, but in the end, his hand remained by his side, not moving to grab the other’s. “You’re already a great version of you, you don’t need to change. Never.”

[justinhyatt-deactivated20191125]

“You could make anything sound like a chorus of angels.” Justin beamed, losing himself in the sound of Tyler’s voice. His face lit up at the small gesture of Tyler’s affection before they headed out the door. “It might not be five star, but I don’t want you going hungry.” He smirked, as they started their route. 

“I was talking with Seth the other day about wanting to bake some things if we find enough ingredients. Maybe give us all a change in bland food options.” Justin smiled softly at the thought. “I’m glad you talked me into opening up more. It’s going slowly, and I admit I’m still cautious about what I say, but it is nice to be able to try connecting with people again.”

[itstyler-parker-blog]

Tyler smiled at Justin’s comment, the compliment heating his cheeks. “I appreciate that. Doesn’t sound as good as your voice though,” he beamed, knowing he could listen to the other’s voice for hours on end without getting bored. He never got bored of anything about Justin; once he thought he couldn’t love him more, he found a new thing to fall completely in love with, a thing he could daydream all day about, without ever getting tired of it.

“Everything is five star whenever I’m with you though,” Tyler charmed, shooting a smile smirk in Justin’s direction. “That’s great, that sounds like lots of fun! I’m really glad you’re hanging out with Seth, he sounds like a great friend. You deserve a great friend like him.”

[justinhyatt-deactivated20191125]

“I trust you.” Justin smiled softly, appreciating that Tyler was continuing to set his mind at ease. He laughed at the man’s jokes, attempting to dodge away from Tyler’s elbow. “I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ‘till the end of the night.” Justin sang with a proud smirk on his face.

His smile only fell slightly at Tyler’s realization, but he soon revived it. “Of course. Come on, let’s get your day off started.” He suggested, gesturing Tyler towards the door as he opened it, and ushered him outside.

[itstyler-parker-blog]

Tyler laughed as he joined in on Justin’s singing, although he was not so familiar with the lyrics; most of the words came out as gibberish. “Such a great song, it’s my favourite. I obviously know it by heart, as you probably already know,” he joked, his words caught up in his own laughter.

“Alright, let’s go,” he mumbled, before quickly pressing a kiss on Justin’s cheek right before the door was opened, walking out with a proud smile. “Now, what do we do first? Wait, I know. Breakfast, of course. Most important meal of the day.”

[oliver-hardman-blog]

The play-? I haven’t checked there actually. Thanks.

[itstyler-parker-blog]

Really? That’d seem like an obvious place to look. Do you need help finding it?

[justinhyatt-deactivated20191125]

“I don’t want you taking crazy risks, now. And it doesn’t mean I’ve stopped worrying about you being out there, but that is really sweet of you. Didn’t really think of myself as the type to need saving - thought that was already covered by the Almighty - but here we are again.” Justin smirked, grateful that Tyler still showed such a profound care for his welfare, and even when he was meant to be focused on himself, his thoughts were still focused elsewhere. 

The reminder of breakfast, brought his plans back to the forefront. “Of course not.” Justin smiled, lacing his fingers with Tyler’s, only to question the appropriateness. “Oh, um, right.” He muttered, voice echoing somber tones, as he let Tyler’s hand go tentatively. “I want to be careful, but that doesn’t mean my feelings disappeared.” He reinforced, knowing Tyler understood that all too well, but reiterated it for good measure. “Save it for later.” He smiled softly, raising his hand to brush his fingers through Tyler’s fringe gently, before stepping toward the door.

[itstyler-parker-blog]

“Trust me, I won’t be taking risks unless it’s really necessary. I’m not a big fan of danger,” Tyler assured Justin; he didn’t want him to worry any more than he usually did. “The Almighty is probably great, but I like to make sure of saving you myself - it’s better to have to saviours, right?” He jokingly nudged Justin in the ribs with his elbow, a grin on his face.

For a brief second, Tyler forgot about their secrecy, barely noticing their intertwined hands. The safety of the room made it easy to forget what and who was outside of it. “I know,” he mumbled, his stomach tightening into a knot as he heard Justin’s disappointed voice. “We can save the hand holding and touching for later, yeah?” He quickly said, his words mixing with Justin’s, to assure the other that he didn’t love him any less.

[justinhyatt-deactivated20191125]

Justin didn’t doubt that instead of trumpets welcoming him into heaven, it would be the sound of Tyler’s laughter. It was magical, and enveloping, always able to boost his mood, and hit him right in the heart. “I wouldn’t have minded.” He smiled at Tyler’s confession. “I really wanted to make sure you knew before your next big run. I didn’t want you to leave without knowing.” Justin explained. He smiled, not truly grasping that just because he’d confessed his feeling aloud, didn’t mean his love for Tyler couldn’t continue to grow even stronger. His heart clenched at the promise, understanding that no matter how self-conscious he could be, Tyler would always be there to build him back up. “I love you so much.” He sighed in gratitude. 

It helped to hear how excited Tyler was about the day, and that he was comfortable enough to be truthful about his feelings. Justin only wanted to protect his heart from ever getting shattered again. “Of course it is, I’m spending the day with you. That’s the best kind.” He grinned, “We’re really lucky you know. Getting to talk to people, and hearing their stories just makes me think back to us, and how appreciative I am to have you.”

[itstyler-parker-blog]

“I think I would have known anyway. I’m glad to be completely sure though,” Tyler assured. Despite all the anxious thoughts surrounding those three words that now sounded so easy and natural, yet so beautiful and pure, he had a feeling that they were present in their actions. “Now I’ve got even more to fight for when I’m back out there, scouting for goods. I have to do everything in my power to return to you. Not that I didn’t do that before,” he quickly said, hoping the other would understand that although their love had now been confessed out loud, his carefulness and ruthlessness during his runs wouldn’t change. He’d always fight through anything to be able to return to Justin.

Hearing Justin speaking so fondly of the stories he had heard from other people, Tyler couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed that he didn’t allow Justin to tell other people their story - although this agreement was agreed upon from both parts, not forced upon Justin because of Tyler’s cowardice. “Come on, we should get going, or we’ll be late for breakfast. We can’t start a fullpacked day without a good breakfast, can we?”

[justinhyatt-deactivated20191125]

“Yeah, I know.” Justin smiled to himself, cheeks slightly tinted in humility. “I am lucky.” He echoed fondly, pride brimming in his eyes that Tyler was still in love with him no matter how embarrassing he could be. Justin lingered on Tyler’s lips, peppering short kisses against them. “I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.” Justin beamed, smiling wide enough that his cheeks started to hurt.

“I’m really glad I told you, and you know - that you said it back. That might have been a little awkward.” Justin laughed, carding his fingers through Tyler’s hair softly. “It was kind of scary, getting over the anxiety of telling you took me a long time.” He explained, chewing on his lipring. “But I’m so happy you know now. I really care about you, and will be there for you through anything. I always felt comfortable around you, and I guess I just wanted to thank you for hearing me out last night. It meant so much to me to know what you’ve gone through, and it has only made my feelings for you stronger. I don’t want to do anything out of your comfort zone today. So if there’s anything you’re not okay with, just tell me and I’ll stop.” Justin offered, wanting to be supportive and respectful of his boundaries.

[itstyler-parker-blog]

The many kisses and soft words against Tyler’s lips made him burst into giggles, trying to return the short pecks, unable to do so because of his laughter. Instead, he mumbled I love you’s with every touch their lips made, his smile never leaving his face.

“I’m so glad you did too, it was getting really hard to hold it back. I’m pretty sure I would’ve spilled soon if you hadn’t said it first,” Tyler confessed, although he was pretty sure that Justin was aware of the depth of his feelings already. “I guess we were both just anxious about the reaction we would get. I’ll always say those words back, as often as you want. I’ll never get tired of saying them, not to you,” he promised. Being able to spend a lifetime telling Justin how much he loved him was all he wanted. “We’ll figure out a way to balance fun and comfort zones, it’s gonna be great. Don’t worry too much, I’ll let you know if I’m not comfortable. It’s going to be great anyway, I’m sure.”

[justinhyatt-deactivated20191125]

Justin laughed along with Tyler, losing himself in the bright enthusiasm Tyler had brought to his morning. “And you call me the dork?” He smiled, enjoying the fact that things could be so easy between them. It made him more intrigued by the invitation of spending the rest of the day together, and the possibility of making some normalcy out of their future.

Wishing he could capture the feeling of amenity Tyler brought him; a comforting warmth of tenderness surrounded him as Tyler smiled at him. Justin beamed back at him, gaining a smidge more of self-confidence as Tyler encouraged his adoration. “It’s a date.” Justin’s grin widened, not realizing how tense he’d been until the words were spoken aloud. Justin ran his fingers through Tyler’s hair before settling his hands on the back of Tyler’s neck, pulling away from his lips softly. “I love you.”

[itstyler-parker-blog]

It seemed as if the smile on Tyler’s face would be permanent, at least for the day. Being around Justin automatically brought a smile to his face. Even though they would be in public together for the first time in a long while, even the scary reminders that were always in the back of his head wouldn’t deny him of a smile. “Psh, of course, you’re the biggest dork to ever walk on this earth. You’re lucky I’m into dorks.”

The joy Tyler felt once the statement left Justin’s lips was explosive, his heart felt like it would jump out of his chest at any moment, and the butterflies in his stomach were close to making him fly away. Despite the love Tyler felt in that exact moment, he managed to stay somewhat collected, thanking his boyfriend for those meaningful words with a meaningful kiss. “I love you so much.”

[oliver-hardman-blog]

……that is why I am here as we speak. 

[itstyler-parker-blog]

Maybe some of the kids saw them and took them. You should check the play area.

[justinhyatt-deactivated20191125]

“I’m glad too, your feet are horrible.” Justin grinned, grateful that they were so comfortable with each other to be joking about such things after the emotional night they’d had. 

“Shut up.” Justin blushed, cowering slightly into himself. They’d never really put official labels on anything back at home, and barely gotten the chance to since arriving at camp, so this was an influential day for them. “The heart wants what the heart wants - Mine just happened to be an official date during a zombie apocalypse. You’ve lived up to the hype.” He smiled, trying to rid the noticeable embarrassment away from his face, but knowing Tyler didn’t mind anyway.

Smiling against the man’s lips, Justin grinned, pressing a kiss to the corner of Tyler’s mouth while scoffing, “How could you not?” He smirked fondly and leaned into Tyler’s hold, letting his lips preoccupy themselves with Tyler’s once more.

[itstyler-parker-blog]

Pretending to look offended, Tyler scoffed. “How dare you talk shit about my feet? They’re amazing.” Unable to keep a serious face, Tyler giggled at the end of his sentence, keeping the light mood they had between them this morning.

The feeling of love Tyler felt for Justin in this moment was almost overwhelming. The blush on Justin’s cheeks made him look even more beautiful than ever, if that was even possible, and his smile was brighter than the sun, and whenever he saw it, it made him feel just as warm as the sun did, if not warmer.  “Well, luckily for you, the feeling is mutual. It’s a date then, right?” He asked, silently chanting “Please say yes” with a grin on his face.

Certain that Justin already knew the answer to his own question, Tyler didn’t bother to answer, instead emptying his mind, letting the feeling of Justin’s lips take over him instead.