defiance

H, 32 Things change, and now they're getting strange.

[itswhatits]

Hmm on a more positive note, the noodles were great and im gonna have a hot chocolate then go to sleep immediately. A good end to a medium sucky day. Tomorrow will be good. Work then clothes washing then synchronised Ozark w dex. And friday i see my old pal! That is as far ahead as my brain can go currently. Really really worried about financially surviving the month but gonna do my best. I will also ! Prep up some vegan mince n black bean chilli to feed me til mid next week hopefully ! Praying my friend on friday is down to buy all my drinks bc i certainly cant xo

[itswhatits]

God going back to work tomorrow is going to be awful. I will have so so much work to do and angry clients I missed calls with. Will just do everything possible to get caught up in the morning and just make one call after another ig. Antibiotics are making me feel queasy but I need to eat before bed to have another dose ugh. I have some instant bulgogi noodles so probs just that ! Then big sleep. How is it 8pm already. Another wasted day just pissing constantly aaaah

[thealogie]

whatever happens it’s so important that we’re funny about it. Above all else commit to the bit

[itswhatits]

Prepped salads for the next couple of days n then didnt really know what i wanted to eat with the leftover salad for today. Ended up doing sticky rice, salad, sriracha n soy sauce and used chilli heatwave doritos to eat it. It was actually fantastic?? Planning cheesy pasta for dinner tho ngl. Sustenance has been had. Pasta 4 fun.

[itswhatits]

Time 2 sell.some shit on vinted, got some rly nice doc martens that need going and a shit load of other nice clothes that need to be soollldd so i am can eat this month xo

[itswhatits]

Ugh not going in. It seems so stupid now im not in as much pain but the nearly pissing myself thing every time i try get to the toilet when it is like 10ft from my bed is so bad. And at work the toilets are. Much further away.

[itswhatits]

This uti situation still sucks but I am so on the fence about missing work bc i dont want to but am also v scared of pissing myself u see the issue

[itswhatits]

Idk if it will ever stop hurting when my brother comes to visit my other brother for the weekend who lives in the city next to mine, but has not once in the last 4 years come to visit me. Kinda breaking my heart actually. Last weekend they all went camping in the peaks (closer to me than to either of them) and i was not invited. Yeah. Sucks.

I lost a whole side of my family, and it is the bigger side, when I cut off my dad. I didnt think that would happen but it was a direct consequence and i have to live with that. But I have always been so close to my mums side, as I was raised with them. But this hurts every time and it is hard not to feel alone when im here without anyone, and they all seem to have each other. My mum started talking about the weekend when we were on the phone earlier (she wasn't there) and I just immediately pretended i needed to cook dinner and hung up. The hurt will fade but right now it just sucks.

[chateauofmymind]

have you ever suddenly + involuntarily lost consciousness

yes (fainted)

yes (head trauma)

yes (substance-induced)

yes (lack of oxygen)

yes (blood loss)

yes (multiple)

no

Remaining time: 5 days 11 hours

[itswhatits]

No longer any back pain so im feeling a lot better. As ever nervous about getting sacked bc of a day off but whatever. Pasta for dinner. Then big early night. I fought a nap today so hoping I get some better sleep. Might start a book?? That wont combine well with an early night buuut I am finally feeling ready to start reading for fun again post finishing my first yr of my masters!

I cannot believe we managed to pull off a 75 considering one person didnt show for the presentation!! Im very nervous about my.other assignment however my other grades are really good so it shouldn't pull me down too much if it's shit - as long as I pass im okay!!

As i am extremely poor once again (how why how yet another month on struggle street) so it is the perfect time to get back into the things that make life worth living - photography, reading n drawing! Once im doing 5 short days a week (as of next week!!) I will have more time after work which is nice.

[itswhatits]

Nooo my uti is spreading my back hurts ffssss. Getting in touch w the drs today they should get me a same day referral to the advanced clinician for some anti biotics booooo. It hurts so bad this is so annoying, have called in bc my urgency to pee is also still horrific so sitting at a desk all day trying not to piss myself whilst in loads of pain just isnt appealing to me at all.

[itswhatits]

Got a fucking 75 on our group presentation OH MY GOD AAAH

[segamascott]

[loveridden1999]

[itswhatits]

Rly wanted to get into skip rope but ofc I cant do it with a hiatial hernia ffs. I need to get back to swimming!! Will try Wednesday, then busy friday but i can do it both days next week. I just wanted a high impact exercise thatd make me feel good that i can do in my room but i can do hardly anything. Keeping my room tidy so the option for yoga is there but I just wanna feel more from it so maybe if i get back swimming as well then yoga plus swimming plus walking will be enough.

[itswhatits]

2 yrs ago I decided to go 100% sober and did it for 18 months!! Even though im not sober anymore im v v proud of myself and it means now i know i can stop, I take time off when i need to! And I dont have to drink at every event. I do think that the edibles have become a lil bit of a crutch which is why ive not bought any thing payday, id like to leave off them til next payday at the end of June. Was a lot of growth in that yr n a half tho!!

[itswhatits]

I slept from 3pm-7pm and i am somehow still utterly exhausted, probs gonna have to get anti biotics tomo bc my body is clearly not having a good time trying to fight this infection on its own. Annoying bc then i will get thrush oh what joys. Anyway!! I had fruit n yoghurt for dinner bc it is what I wanted and am gonna take a promethazine soon and hopefully get a full night of sleeeep.