you might think i'm crazy but i'm serious @itswilltbh - Tumblr Blog

For the first time in my life, I am uncertain of my future. It is killing me. It is scaring me. Out of my sleep; out of my mind.

After seeing a job I really wanted - and sat thru two rounds of interviews for - close after a week of radio silence, I am beginning to think I used all of the good will I have. I don’t think I am unique or alone in any of this - in fact, I know I’m not. But it does nothing for the endless amount of imposter syndrome I have, backed by the hundred of rejections I have received since last spring. I’ve rewritten my resume beyond recognition. I have talked to people. Been referred. Networked. I’ve been told by career coaches that they don’t know what advice to give because I have done it all and have written my resume so well. I have done everything I know how to do, and have been told to do.

I have been job searching for over a year, since i found out i was being laid off as part of an org restructure. It was frustrating (as it was my third layoff in a four year period), but if time had reminded me of anything up until that point, I would (a) be fine and (b) defy any odds put in my way. And then, the election happened. And shortly after that, the agency and industry that I owe my career and success to (USAID AND international development) was bled out in broad daylight, followed by layoffs across virtually every sectors. Defying anything - odds, logic, gravity - seem completely out of my capacity at the moment.

As a generally “glass half full” kind of gay, the cracks are starting to show. The idea (no, the very real possibility) that I might lose everything I have worked so hard for is turning me inside out. The idea of applying else to anything seizes my body. And yet, I must go on because there is no other option. I’ve said to my former colleagues that this is only a moment in time that will quickly come to past and exist only as a footnote in our shared histories.

Hopefully sooner, rather than later. Because I’m fucking tired.

#jobsearch #recruiting #hiring #wtf #seriously wtf

I'm back to cope with the existential dilemma that is this this job market and every thought and feeling that comes with it. Or something like that.

#nicole kidman #amc #words #gif #tumblr

bougiehippie

blackmensuited

wolftyla

rob-pattinson

harpersplay

Narrator:

Wilson Cruz became the first out actor playing an out series regular on network television.

Wilson Cruz:

I really believed it would be more powerful if young people understood the person playing that role stood behind that story. But when we made the pilot in 1993, ABC didn’t pick it up. So we went through a whole year where we were put on hold. I made a pact that if we got picked up that I would come out to my parents. We got picked up, and I told my mom first. It went okay. I told my dad, and my dad threw me out of the house. We had about three months before we started to go into production on the series. And between my car and, um, some friends’ couches, I made it through three months. And when I told Winnie my story, she decided that that was also gonna happen to Rickie on My So-Called Life.

Winnie Holzman:

I was starting to feel this sense of responsibility toward just expressing what I understood was really some young gay people’s experiences in life. I mean, obviously not all, but, unfortunately, too many.

Wilson Cruz:

So Christmas of ‘93 I tell my father, and we stopped speaking. And in December of ‘94, the episode in which Rickie is thrown out of his house airs. Ten, fifteen minutes pass, and my phone rings. And it’s my dad. And, uh…he says, “You know, I think it’s about time we talked.”

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t get a message from somebody who says their life was changed because of Rickie. And I wonder sometimes, you know, how many fathers turned to their sons or daughters and said, “I think it’s time for us to talk.”

That’s the power of TV.

– from Visible: Out on Television