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carrd: 𝗂𝗇 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗀𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌

popping in to say that while i’m so sad by mark’s departure, i’m also so incredibly moved by mark’s words in his letter.

there’s a particular courage in walking away from the thing that built and shaped you and in being able to leave something so grand and safe to find something bigger than your current self. most people never do that. i am incredibly moved that he has chosen that journey: to leave the thing that made him, so he can become the person he know’s he was always meant to be.

his departure isn’t him just leaving, but it is him also modeling a kind of self-trust people hardly ever have. people often think courage is that cinematic moment where someone stands up and declares their new path to everyone, but, truthfully, it is often a quiet, fearful, and private decision where you turn it over in your head a million times and have a million conversations over the same topic over and over again with loved ones before you decide you’ll eventually have to loosen the grip on what’s defined you to find what’s waiting for you.

letting go of something big isn’t just courageous either, it’s painful, lonely, and disorienting, and i can only imagine what it feels like when the life you’re letting go of is what’s been the majority of your life AND career.

i don’t mean to sound parasocial. i am, in full honesty, just recognizing the weight of someone making a life changing decision in full view of the world and admiring the courage it takes to do that. as someone who understands the courage it takes to walk away from personal experiences, this has given me the opportunity to watch someone name a truth i’ve been developing for a while now. shout out to mark lee, i truly believe when you choose yourself, you’ll find where you’re meant to be.

deenakahara

Random JaeBri's Free Radio talk #13: "They said I was too stiff."

Jae: *asking question about where does Young K got his talent and energy on stage*

Young K: My energy? It's kinda like, when I go to the stage... I think I just let everything loose.

Jae: Like, your stress?

Young K: Yeah. It seems like I'm able to relieve my stress when I'm on stage.

Young K: ...

Young K: You know right, hyung? How much I live my life like I'm such a bum. It's almost like that flimsy banana peel that has been left out for too long. That's how I am. On days like this, I become an actual human.

Young K: *laughs* I really hope no eyewitness from my school would come forward about this (how am I in real life). Please don't.

Young K: I'm usually like that but then when I go up the stage, I want to go all out. Like, BAM! That's how I think I relieve my stress on stage.

Young K: *thinks* And then, rather than me being full of talents... When I was still a trainee, I got a comment about how I was too stiff. I was told, "I know that you're trying your best. I also know that your skill has increased. But you're way too stiff." That's the comment.

Young K: When I heard this kind of comment, that was the time I started to worry a lot about it.

Young K: I'm actually relieved that I got to be a trainee for quite a long time. Because during those long training years, we got to experience stages quite a lot of time.

Young K: So we got the chance to try so many things on each stage. We could even go overboard with it, or not tried to do too much on it. Like, literally just singing on stage. Out of these experience, it seems like there are some that matches me well. Well, I'm still trying to look for other things (to do on stage) too.

Young K: I think that's how I became like this.

Jae: *smiles* That is also how you work your hardest.

Young K: *realises* Is it? It seems like it. Huh.

Jae: You even work your hardest on this.

preciousday6

Jae: Hey what are you reading?

Youngk: A book about things I love.

Jae: That’s a photo album of me.

Youngk: What a coincidence

aong-kung

just put it on me.

yeah, you got your hands up on my

buckme

jane x lisbon is so funny. imagine you’re hunting down the serial killer who killed your wife and child and turned your life upside down. over the decade it takes for you to kill the guy back, you’re working for the cops and you’re sort of partners with this incredible, smart, hot, awesome woman. so of course you fall in love with her, but you can’t really do anything about it because 1. not over your dead wife 2. she’s technically your boss. so you kinda flirt with her, you buy her a pony, but you don’t cross a line. you do tell her you love her in a particularly risky scheme to catch the serial killer but it doesn’t work so you walk it back later. finally ten years after your family got killed you get the guy and kill him back. except now you’re on the run because you murdered a guy. so you spend two years in venezuela, until the fbi tracks you down and offers you a deal: they will drop the charges if you work for them. you agree, but only if they give your boss/partner/crush a job. she’s thankful about it but she also (rightfully) is mad at you that you think you can just change her career like that after two years of near-radio silence. so you both work for the fbi now and she’s not your boss anymore but you both kinda need time to get used to the new dynamic before you can say “hey queen i’ve been in love with you for like ten years” even though everyone keeps mentioning how they thought you guys would’ve gotten together years ago.

and then she starts dating pedro pascal.