douche on the outside

so most people think i'm made of about 85% of the world's evil and douchness and i would like to keep it that way. here's the fifteen percent you didn't know about.

[roach]

you’re probably wondering why i’ve gathered you all here today

[iwantamcasian]

Are you starting a revolution?

[iwantamcasian]

#cuties

[iwantamcasian]

Weekend in DC

[iwantamcasian]

What do you do when you have a gut instinct that someone is deceiving you?

[iwantamcasian]

Holiday wine

[iwantamcasian]

We haven’t spoken in almost a week and my gut tells me you’re gone and moved on. I don’t really know what happened or where it went wrong but I would like to say I’m thankful I got to meet you. I was lonely and alone and having you “there” made it easier. I didn’t really have any intentions of liking someone who lives 700 miles - hell I didn’t even have any intentions of opening myself but I did because you are an awesome human. Even though it was a brief moment of time, I’m grateful that I got to know someone as great as you and though I’ll never have a chance to tell you this, I leave it on the Internet. An Internet love letter and note of thanks that you made my life (even for brief moment of time) filled with laughter and enough excitement to get me through the rough days. You made me feel comfortable in my own skin and you made me feel normal - something no one has ever done. Maybe one day I’ll hear from you again and if there’s a slim chance you find this entry, maybe you’ll reach out and we can pick up where we left off.

[wordsthat-speak]

Of course, you never really forget anyone, but you certainly release them. You stop allowing their history to have any meaning for you today. You let them change their haircut, let them move, let them fall in love again. And when you see this person you have let go, you realize that there is no reason to be sad. The person you knew exists somewhere, but you are separated by too much time to reach them again.

How We Let People Go (Chelsea Fagan)

[wordsthat-speak]

You’re terrified of being alone. Anything you do now will be motivated by that fear. You have to stop worrying about finding love again. It will come when it comes. Get comfortable with being alone. It will empower you.

This is Where I Leave You (Jonathan Tropper)

[wordsthat-speak]

It’s strange. I felt less lonely when I didn’t know you.

Jean-Paul Sartre, from The Flies, in No Exit and the Flies (Alfred A. Knopf, 1947)

[iwantamcasian]

Self.

[lucyleave-deactivated20210126]

[iwantamcasian]

For those days when you need a reminder that you're special.

[words-of-emotion]

[iwantamcasian]

I don’t know who I am anymore. How I got here, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know why I’m here. I’ve been in relationships that I don’t really understand. I hate my haircut. I dropped pre-med like it was some kind of victory. And I can’t even remember why it felt like that.

Felicity S2E12

[iwantamcasian]

stop winning me over. you already did that

[iwantamcasian]

And I could not ask for more.

[iwantamcasian]

Waiting for this guy.

[iwantamcasian]

Boots weather!