ed diary

19 // you are loved 🖤 cw: 50.3kg gw: 50kg ugw: 42kg

[iwanttobelovedfr]

💗 my April food rules 💗

1200 cal limit on MAX

2-3L water everyday

skip breakfast every second day to get a longer fast time

24+ hour fast at-least 3 times over the month

avoid processed sugar

no fast food or takeout

drink water before and during meals

gym 2-3 times a week

swimming at-least once a week

burn off any extra cals

take a long walk on days with no exercise

no food after 8pm

[iwanttobelovedfr]

sorry for being so inactive, I’m in hospital because of my Ed, and I’m going to try and accept the help. I don’t want to keep getting worse I want to get better

don’t know when or if I’ll be back but I hope the best for you guys

[iwanttobelovedfr]

Im finally at 48.5kg so I’ve decided to try and maintain this weight for a while.

I’ve been super fatigued and lightheaded, I can tell my body is suffering so I’m going to fuel my body just enough to get back my energy, not enough for weight gain.

[iwanttobelovedfr]

Not this shit again

[iwanttobelovedfr]

I’ve never been more thankful to live in an ingredient’s house

don’t have an almond mum but my dad is and he’s the only one who cooks lol

[iwanttobelovedfr]

really proud of myself for honouring a craving

got a little freaked out and I didn’t finish of course but now I can go about my day without only thinking about this cupcake

it’s little things like this that beat the restrict binge purge cycle 💗

[iwanttobelovedfr]

My usual lunch - avocado and cucumber salad except I added spinach and edamame to up the protein 💗💗

calories: 222

[iwanttobelovedfr]

trying to be kind to myself and allow myself to eat some good and healthy meals, I’m hoping if I do some lower res over the next couple days I can gain back some self control and go back to my usual restrictions w/o causing a binge

i bought a pistachio cupcake that I know will be good for me to eat to kill cravings without going crazy but I’m too scared to eat it lol

[iwanttobelovedfr]

feeling bloated and gross 🤝 oversized tracksuit sets

[iwanttobelovedfr]

this spelling is so funny to me

[iwanttobelovedfr]

I hate that we need food to survive, I hate that food even exists

I wish we lived in a world where we only needed water to survive and food just didn’t exist

that would make everything so so much easier

[iwanttobelovedfr]

I purged my breakfast, I haven’t done that in months.

I’m happy I’m empty now but scared for what this might lead to

I was craving oatmeal so badly all night so I decided to make some to get rid of the craving, it was underwhelming and didn’t taste as good as I imagined it would so I freaked out of course

i always have the same breakfast every day - weetbix and lite soy milk or nothing

I was already thrown off by having something I’m not used to, got scared and purged

my whole day feels thrown off now

[iwanttobelovedfr]

I’ve fallen in love with long walks, I used to hate walking but now I love the opportunity to get out of my house, listen to music and be in nature.

I walk as far as I can then eventually have to turn back home and before I know it, it’s been 4 hours - perfect distraction

[iwanttobelovedfr]

Went to the movies with my parents to avoid eating 💪💪

[iwanttobelovedfr]

even if you’re in a calorie deficit after eating junk it will still make you fat, skinny fat but that’s STILL fat.

Eating clean, protein dense foods will give your body all the nutrients it needs to lose fat and stay lean

Empty calories are the enemy fr

[iwanttobelovedfr]

i took 4 doses of laxatives and OH MY GOD i was in so much pain it was hell. I mean I got everything out of my system, yes, but that pain was not worth it

[iwanttobelovedfr]

Should I end my fast at 6pm and have dinner (total fast time 20hrs)

OR

break my fast at 9am the next day (total fast time 41hrs)

pls decide for me bc I can’t