“Ah, true love was never this ecstasic!”
“In a few moments, we shall marry, and you will instantly become the richest, most powerful woman in the land.”
“You will join me in my bed.”
“I’m gonna go with the fame and fortune.”
“Best squireship in the land.”
“Well, that’s a mouthful.”
“I’m sorry. What is that smell?”
“Nice meeting you. Door’s on the wall.”
“I’d love to learn a little more about how you, uh… craft a joke.”
“I’m such a bully. I’m under a terrible amount of pressure, you have to understand that!”
“We could start a genocidal war!”
“I could get back to all my hobbies, like raising taxes and tormenting the poor.”
“Well, that was ripping!”
“There appears to be a rather large hole in my bucket, and I would very much like for you to fix it.”
“You’re embarrassing yourself.”
“I’m embarrassing yourself.”
“Totally understand. Totally empathize.”
“It’s about to get very messy in here.”
“I come from a long family of lovers. You can’t fight genetics.”
“I’m sort of out of the whole ‘damsel in distress’ business at the moment, so…”
“I like skinny. Like, really unhealthy skinny.”
“Pack lightly. There’s a long journey ahead.”
“Stop with the singing and get back to what you’re good at!”
“Still stings, doesn’t it, hero?”
“How can you be a hero if you’re not wearing any pants?”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, we have to go get freaky.”
“You’ve been screaming like a castrated hyena for the past ten minutes.”
“Ah, my pants are on. My pants are definitely on.”
“Can we swap horses? Yours look so much softer.”
“There’s gonna be some legendary hero-ing happening around here pretty damn soon.”
“Never start a marriage with a kidnapping.”
“Oh, poop! I got gravy on my tummy flowers.”
“I’ve only ever hugged one man in my life, and it was the day my father died. I squeezed that rotten bastard to death.”
“Nice beard. I’m talking about her, of course, but the facial hair is nice, as well.”
“Oh, yes. I want to bail… your mama out of prison when she gets arrested for prostitution.”
“It’s 1256. The ‘your mama’ jokes are getting really old.”
“Does this strap go on the front or the back?”
“Oh, good God. Do I have to do everything?”
“What… you’re gonna train me?”
“You’re just gonna humilliate me all day, or…”
“Any man can get knocked up. The hero is the man who gets back up.”
“Oh. Absinthe. It’s not strong.”
“I’ll be drinking an ale… from the bottle.”
“Yeah, I burped. Do you whiff it?”
“So, are we keeping the rooster or eating the rooster? ‘Cause I’m not naming him if we’re eating him.”
“Maybe you’re not the worst thing ever.”
“Don’t make me always have to be the bad guy.”
2087
amandla
pixelskylines
ellievsbear
stormborns
titsay
