Caring Is Not An Advantage

5.5 SW:154lbs/70kg CW:140.2lbs/63.6kg GW1:144lbs/65kg ✅_ GW2:132lbs/60kg_GW3:121lbs/55kg _UGW:110lbs/50kg *TRIGGER WARNING* for DEPRESSION AND EATING DISORDER. *I DO NOT PROMOTE THEM* This blog is for my own escape.

[smallutopia]

Some of us may purge

Binge

Slice our skin

Eat 500 calories

Eat 1000 calories

Some of us are thin

Some of us are over weight

Boy or girl.

Transgender, lesbian, gay, straight, queer, etc

No matter our skin color, background, or personality

An eating disorder found its way into our hearts.

But one thing they don’t mention about this community enough

Is that we’re a family. We love each other. It’s sad that we came together this way.

But every time you purge,binge, or slice your skin- just know that I love you.

Instead of “stay safe” say I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you

I love you.

-smallutopia

[iwanttoseebones]

Am I the only one that after a day of binging the whole fridge,it feels like i don't deserve to be on Tumblr? Like I can't open the app to see the ana posts because I binge. Only me? Ok.

[myedsucks]

Not your usual Ana tips

Read the post before you get pissed off at me.

• Stop standing up so fast. You know damn well that you get dizzy from that, so stand up slowly. If you still get dizzy or start to black out, sit back down and take deep breaths until you go back to normal, and then try to stand up slowly again.

• Don’t work out until you pass out or puke. Just walk. It burns a lot calories and it’s much easier to do. I do this instead of working out and I lose up to 3 lbs a day sometimes.

• Sleep (if you can). Your body is tired as fuck. You don’t eat very much and sleeping will help re-energize you.

I won’t tell you to eat. I know a stupid tumblr post won’t suddenly make your disorder go away. I just want you to try your best to stay safe. Believe it or not, I love you. We’re a big family and we would all feel like shit if you died because of this. If you ever get the urge to recover, take it and run.

[112-lbs]

!!!!!

[takecare-bewell]

if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘food’ labeling some good, some bad as i assign moral value to this grain of rice i might say ‘numbers’ counting, measuring, tracking calories, sizes, BMIs allthetimecalculating everysinglething if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘beauty’ complete devotion, idolization of the western standard begging for others’ envy i might say ‘attention’ desperately needing someone anyone, to notice me at all to see that i am unwell, to care if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘control’ the sick, sick result of discipline gone sour a curdling obsession i might say ‘guilt’ over being too big too plain too comfortable too needy too me if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘anger’ hating the injustice of living hating everything, everyone including myself i might say ‘pain’ a way to transpose the scars of my soul onto the body aching for congruence if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘minimalism’ my mind whirls like a run-on sentence and i can’t stand being wasteful so no thank you i don’t need anything at all really i might say ‘self-righteousness’ i’m parading the streets, declaring my holier-than-thouness because hey look! i’m better at dying than you if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘expectations’ i’ve been naturally small my entire life and now, but now i lose myself when i grow i might say ‘childhood’ reverting to my prepubescent body no breasts and when sex was just a word muddled with giggles if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘addiction’ a habit that can’t be kicked craving the buzz, the high of manipulating my insides i might say ‘death’ i’m not that happy anyway so why not drive my body to the edge, tempting it to quit? if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say nothing because i do not know it’s not like it matters because you don’t ask because you don’t know either

—i don’t know, you don’t know, no one knows // 01.22.18

[need-skinni]

Reblogging again so I dont lose it

[munsiel]

Having an ED be like :

Oh you ate too much? Would you like

Excessive restricting and fasting to make up for it

Or

Week long binge cycle because you already fucked up anyways

[nyeh3]

3 months from now

I’ll be skinnier than that bitch I swear to god I will.

[skinny-fashion-grunge]

The stronger a hunger urge is, the skinnier you’re getting.

[sdkniasasdlkniw]

This is my best friend. At the moment she’s being kept alive by tubes and needles because her eating disorder is currently stronger than she is.

Does she weigh 90lbs? No, she doesn’t. Does it look like her eating disorder is “less severe” because she’s not “that thin”? Do you think her situation sounds “less severe” because she’s not “that thin”?

Tubes and needles. Constant supervision. Pain, anger, agony. Hunger, thirst, suffering. Dizziness, constipation, freezing cold. Passing out in front of other patients and staff. Painful injections of vitamins and whatnot. Nurses who’re force feeding her, who’re forcing fluids into her body because her eating disorder is currently stronger than she is.

90lbs or not, without treatment - my best friend will die.

Would you have walked past her on the street and thought she even had an eating disorder at all? Probably not, because people keep believing you can measure or estimate a persons physical and mental health state based on the silhouette of someone’s body.

You can’t.

Never underestimate someone’s eating disorder just because they don’t look “that thin” to you. Being “thin” is just one of MANY symptoms of an eating disorder and it’s far, far from the most important one. Anyone can struggle and if someone you know struggles: don’t assume they’re alright just because they don’t look “that thin”.

Eating disorders come in one size; MISERABLE.

[lil-fxck]

!!

[brokenbarbie2002]

this

[eat-my-self-esteem]

Share the fuck out of this!!

[bxnesdream]

reblogging this again because it’s important and we should always know that eating disorders don’t give a fuck about sizes. it’s a mental illness.

[lostthoughtsfadedscars]

Its bad again. Like its bad, not getting bad. I really, truly, dont want to live. I hate myself and my life and i just wish i could feel something. I dont see myself living tomorrow. I cant take this anymore i just cant. I touched a razor. Like touched it but didnt use it. I wanted to so badly and i was going to but i cant just cut myself and walk out of the bathroom acting like im okay. I cant handle anymore and i dont deserve life. Im such a piece of shit horrible person and i push everyone away. Im sorry to everyone. I didnt deserve life and all the great people around me. Im so awful and im so very sorry.

[depressedanxietydeath]

I know people care about me and that I'm loved. But I can't feel it. I feel unlovable.

[papafilthyx-deactivated20170531]

I'm sick

- Im sick of elastic bands giving me muffin top

-I’m sick of having to wear jeggings because jeans are uncomfortable

- I’m sick of looking bad in tight AND loose clothes

- I’m sick of having days where I feel too fat to wear ANYTHING

- I’m sick of dreading trying on clothes in my favorite store

- I’m sick of having fat rolls when sitting, bending forward, or laying on my side

- I’m sick of having to pull my pants up high on my waist to hide my fat bump

- I’m sick of knowing he’d rather look at skinny girls than me

- I’m sick of being afraid that I’ll finally tip the scale to overweight

- I’m sick of covering up at the pool/beach

- I’m sick of always giving in to my cravings

- It’s time to make a change because I’m sick of not feeling good in my own skin

[remanence-of-love]

[akai-neko-deactivated20181204]

PLEASE READ AND REBLOG!!!!!

Put your car keys beside your bed at night. Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr’s office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across. Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It’s a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won’t stick around. After a few seconds, all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won’t want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

[50starsand13bars-deactivated201]

I don’t care what your blog theme is, this can save someone’s life and needs to be spread

[depressedanxietydeath]

Are you going to disappear on me too?

[cumdumpguru]

once i learn how to stop eating it’s over for you bitches

[charmantasshame]

I want to be skinny, not dead.

honestly, I feel a lot of Anas have the “dying to be thin” mindset but I don’t count myself in. yes, an empty stomach feels great. yes, sticking to your calorie limit feels great. yes, losing weight feels great whereas gaining it, feels like failing. but you wanna know what doesn’t feel great? noticing your body shutting down. having trouble breathing when lying down, chest pain, a jumping, slowed down heart - all those things don’t feel good to me. they don’t make me euphoric because they’re a sign of me succeeding. they’re a sign of my body giving up and they scare me. a lot.

there is absolutely no use in being skinny if I don’t live long enough to enjoy my new body. I don’t care if I am already at my calorie limit for the day, I don’t care if it’s 3 am or if I just woke up, I don’t care if I was planning on doing a fast - if I feel like I am about to die anytime soon, I eat.

please do yourself the same favor. there is no shame or guilt in keeping yourself alive. doesn’t even have to be something crazy like a big meal. eat an apple. a slice of bread with cottage cheese. a salad. anything. just don’t ignore the signs. because if you’re being honest, you’re just like me.

and I want to be skinny, but I don’t want to be dead.

[starvationxa]

stop putting “not pro” in your fuckin bios when you’re encouraging people to join your fasting circles