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            Kim Seokjin            Son of Tartarus        May he rest in peace  under a sky of endless night             and restless daylove   in the arms of blinding light.

[abysmalxchild-deactivated201409]

How could she promise something like not being sad anymore? She didn’t think it was humanly possible to not be sad. She dropped her arms next to her body and looked at him, into his dark brown eyes. A sigh left her lips as she thought about she’d give to have him back, in flesh to her side. “Jin.” The demigoddess started but doubted it could finish. Never she thought that the name that would hurt the most to say was the one that she liked the most as well. Her gaze dropped to the ground and even the small kiss on her nose was enough for making her raise them again.

"It’s not like you’ve lost me forever." The sentence alone made her look back at him and almost spill her most well kept secret; something that not even he knew about. It was a conclusion that she came up with weeks ago. "Right." She flashed a small smile to him. "How could I lose someone that was not even mine to begin with, right?"

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

The smile she gave him was almost enough. He almost believed that maybe dying meant that he could no longer hurt people anymore and it had been hard enough to believe that he was even capable of that. The question was enough to make it an almost, because at first he did not believe what it implied. He couldn’t. It wasn’t that he would shun her for it – no, he only felt saddened. He could only love her as a sister, because doing anything else would be wrong, and he couldn’t encourage this kind of affection for someone as dead as himself.

“What do you mean?” he asked, wondering if his assumptions were right, and hoping that they weren’t. “Yoonjo, I’ve always been your brother.” He paused. “Well, not always. But I will always be your brother from now on. I’m yours like that.”

[abysmalxchild-deactivated201409]

"Apologies won’t bring you back to life." And bringing to life was all she wanted. The absence of his touch was cold. She was not certain of what it hurt the most: if having him in front of her and not being able to touch him or knowing that he would not understand what she was feeling. It was better that way, anyways. Uncontrollably, a tear rolled down but she was quick enough to wipe it away with the sleeve of her shirt. This wouldn’t happen. Not in front of him.

She didn’t understand. Why was he protecting the one who killed him? Why did say the fault was his when she knew it was Hyeri’s? Was this what love would do to someone, even in their afterlife? What a terrible fate. “Stop it.” Though she sniffed and her voice trembled, her eyes kept fixed on him. He wouldn’t understand. She didn’t understand it herself either. “I — I’m glad you came. I got to see you again. I got to talk with you.”

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

Did she think that he didn’t know that already? There were days in which apologies were all that he could utter with lips and tongue and nails dragging across skin on an endless plane of what should be peace, but instead is his own personal hell, his sunshine being his tormentor. He was at fault – he might as well have pushed her to her own death, and that would haunt him for as long as the eternity of death faced his future, or the lack of. This was oblivion, and although being by Hyeri’s side was heavenly, it faced the nothingness of forever.

“If you say so,” he mumbled, keeping his hands on either side of her face. He would have kissed her had she not been family, and instead he pressed his lips affectionately to the tip of her button nose. “Don’t be sad anymore, okay? I’ll be here whenever you need me. It’s not like you’ve lost me forever,” he reassured her with a small grin, tentative, as if he was afraid that she’d hit him for smiling at a time like this.

[phxlomel-deactivated20150208]

While forever was something that humans wished to obtain, she on the other hand wish to never have to live forever for forever is such a big burden on her shoulders, as if the responsibility she holds is not enough. For that much weight to bear for anyone to ever bear, without the presence of anyone to help, it is tiring beyond words. Family, such a simple word and a word thrown around easily by many however, she has ever yet to fully experience what it means to have someone to lean on. And so, to hear that she was family. It was something. “Thank you.”

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

Jin wasn't going to spout nonsense; words had never been his forte. Instead he finds her free hand -- the one not threading through his locks and lulling him to disconcerting peace -- and holds it. Sometimes the smallest gestures can mean the biggest things. "No, Mama. I should thank you. If it wasn't for you, I'd...have never learned how to love." He gave a weak smile -- if it hadn't been for her, then he'd never have learnt what it was to love someone, platonic or not, and in turns would never have believed himself capable of caring so much for others. "And that's something."  

[abysmalxchild-deactivated201409]

The sound of his voice was clear, so was his answer, but she preferred to ignore it. It was easier to blame the daughter of Apollo. It was not until his next words reached her ears that she realised she was biting onto her lip so hard, to contain her immense urge to cry, that it started to tremble. “Her world may be. But mine…” She turned around and faced her pale brother, getting rid of his embrace. Being held wasn’t something she desired. “Mine isn’t. If you loved me as much as you say…you wouldn’t have left me alone, Jin.” Her voice failed on her when pronouncing his name. Even after clearing her voice, it was still not good enough.

She moved away from him, to the other end of the room. There was no way she was going to cry; she didn’t do it before, and she wouldn’t do it now with him there, looking at her. She’d mumble, while containing her tears. Even her wasn’t sure of what she was saying, she simply needed to say something before going completely nuts. “Stupid Hyeri. Idiot Hyeri.”

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

Dying did not provide the dead any enlightenment, and Jin had not known the gravity of his absence and his lack of life until now. He assumed that people would go on, and they would forget him, and perhaps mourn him for the first few days. He could not bear to see his sister like this – the sadness of his loved ones had always been his weakness, just as his heart was.

There was a clawing at his chest that he could not ignore, and he shadowed her footsteps until her was leaning before her, palms covering her cheeks as the pads of his thumbs tried in vain to catch her tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” he mumbled, before finally pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead. “I didn’t think you would still be mourning me. I – I wouldn't have come if I knew it would make you sad. I’m sorry, Yoonjo. I can't speak for Hyeri, but I won't allow her to blame herself, and I can't allow you to blame her. If you knew the whole story, you'd hate me, but...just trust me on this, okay? I've always been the bad guy of the story, and bad guys need to be killed by the tragic hero, right?”

[phxlomel-deactivated20150208]

She blinks when his head found its place in her lap, for she was sure that Nocturne was just about to claim it as her place, glancing to her left to see her cat staring at the intruder while sitting perched on the empty chair by the window. To see a battle between these two would be entertaining to say the least, running her hand through his hair while she was at it. “I think you are the only person who do miss me, so I am flattered that you think of me still.” Something tells her that she was not going to be focusing on the movie so much but she doesn’t mind. Not when she has company.

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

This is something he often does with Hyeri, but this time he’s afraid of falling asleep and closing his eyes. He doesn’t want to disappear – not yet. Instead he focuses on her, and although she says she hasn’t changed he can see that forever haunts even the most eternal creatures. “Of course I miss you, Mama. I miss you every day. You’re family.” Because he decides to not give a fuck, he also decides that he would rather have the bitter truth than a sugar-coated lie, even if he’s terrible with words and he can’t express sentiments for shit. “You know you’re the first family I’ve had, right? I'll never not miss you.” 

[phxlomel-deactivated20150208]

She was not exactly a movie buff but if she was going to choose a movie, she will just select the first move she sees, patting on his hands around her torso for him to let go of her as she went to the drawers in search of a movie that the both of them could like, running her finger against the spines of the DVD covers. In the end she chose a movie called The Help, popping open the cover as she inserts the disc into the player, grabbing the remote for it to press play as she changes to the right channel on the television. Plopping down onto the sofa, she grabs a cushion and hugs it against herself. “It has been awhile, hasn’t it? The both of us being together.”

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

He can at least trust her not to choose anything comic-related. Just because he read up on material and watched some of those things for Hyeri's sake doesn't mean that he dislikes it any less. And he doesn't care for her choice, because he likes majority of movies anyway, whatever the content and whoever the audience may be. His hold around her midsection disappears and he finds himself on the couch, waiting for his beloved aunt -- would-be mother, really, since he never actually had much of a mother to begin with -- to join him. "I missed it," he admits, head finding its place on her lap even though he'd mentioned something about taking care of her. Old habits are hard to kick. "I miss you a lot, Mama."

[abysmalxchild-deactivated201409]

"Is there anyone else to blame?" She blamed no one else for her brother’s death but Hyeri. For once, she was glad that her light was off. That way she wouldn’t have to look at her face again. If there was something that she liked and that was related to Hyeri was the simple fact that she didn’t get to know her that well; otherwise she would have no one to blame for what happened. It was surprising how someone that wouldn’t get genuinely mad often, would get pissed with one thought, with one face. ‘She took him away from me.' That was why she avoided to think about it. 'She took the only person I cared for away.’ It would never end up peacefully. 'I'm glad she's dead.' Thoughts like these would only take her to one place… “She stole you away from me.” Hell.

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

Her answer confirmed all that he thought she would be thinking. They were siblings, and although raised separately there was still a chance that they would somehow land on the same train of thought. But Jin did not think these things, and to answer her rhetoric question, he forlornly uttered: “Me. Blame me.” He’d had enough of Hyeri blaming herself for it, and if he could correct Yoonjo’s thinking then he would try. He’d wiped enough of his lover’s tears, even more so as she found out that the scar above his still heart only stung whenever she touched it. “I’m the bad one. I’ve always been the bad one. Hyeri did what she had to do. The world is better without me. I’m…sorry for leaving you.” And he genuinely believed as such. “I’m so, so sorry, Yoonjo. But I love you very much still, which is why I visit as often as I can. Isn’t that enough?”

[phxlomel-deactivated20150208]

She would offer some of the meal he made but considering how he was not exactly here, she will finish it all on his behalf. At least, doing her best to do so while being his hold. “I’m sure there are some in the drawers underneath the television.” To be perfectly honest, despite having lived with Jiyoung for a little over a few weeks now, she has still yet to get used to the things here, the only space she had ever used the most was her own bedroom. “As you can tell, the love of minimalism runs through the entire house.” The colours chosen by Jiyoung herself since, like her, the both of them were not too fond of that many colours. Especially bright ones. Getting up with the plate in hand, she leaves in the sink for now to be washed later, seeing as to how she has a big baby clinging to her like a koala. “Any movie genre in mind?”

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

Although he's unbelievably close, he barely listens, and busies himself by fiddling with the fingers interlocked at her middle, making an active effort not to notice the food he'd prepared and could no longer share. Not because he doesn't want to, but because he can't, and he no longer has to. "I don't mind," he mumbles in response to her comment about the design choices of the house. He doesn't follow behind her -- he clings onto her, waddling behind because his steps are longer than her own. "Nope," he answers all too happily, too glad to spend time with her again after so long. "You can pick the movie."

[phxlomel-deactivated20150208]

"Nothing less than expected of a child of Tartarus." Speaking of which she has not seen that brother of hers around, which only meant one thing: that he was busy finding people to personally drag them down into his little realm himself. At the offer of being taken cared of, she stops mid bite as she places her spoon down, resting her chin on the palm of her hand as she thought about that. It had not been long since she was thinking about that and it seems to be pure coincidence that he has turned up in her home right after. He was either becoming a mind reader now or it was getting easier for him to read off her emotions. "Do whatever you wish. I’ll comply." 

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

He wonders what she means by that. Is his presence bothering her? Is his continued existence on this plane still so painful for others? A child of Tartarus inflicts torment; perhaps he should not have come. The rejection is clear in the flickering of his smile, and he would have left had it not been for her words. Cold as they seem, he knows her well enough that she is not as burdened by him, and he moves from behind the counter to wrap his arms around her waist from behind, chin resting by her shoulder. "Do you have any movies, Mama? We can watch some of them when you're done eating."

[abysmalxchild-deactivated201409]

The moment her brother hugged her it could be easily put in words like a knife with two ends. She enjoyed it and gave graces to Heaven, or to the brighter place on Tartarus, for having her brother there with her, hugging and talking with her; however her thoughts turned darker when she remembered that he was dead and he wasn’t hers. She tried to get rid of his embrace but failed upon listening to the strange request of his. Looking over her shoulders, she stared at him in disbelief. “What? No.” He had some ghostly balls to be asking her that. “Ask Hyeri to do that for you.” It came out sourer that she intended to but she quickly turned her attention to the laptop in front of her.

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

Once she turned her face, his own became undeniably close. So much so that he was lulled into the belief that he could be a brother again just by having her in his arms, but that illusion was quickly ruined when he realised that he was paler. Less...alive. She was family -- just another person he'd left behind. His time here was limited, as always, and he felt like he wouldn't be able to breathe if he could never visit again. He caught onto her tone easily, and nuzzled his face against the crook of her neck affectionately while hugging her close. "Don't be like that," he mumbled quietly. "Do you blame her for my death, too?" 

[phxlomel-deactivated20150208]

Leave it to a litai to still feel guilt for something they could not control till now, despite the reassurance from others that she was not to be blamed. It was natural that there were people who beg to disagree considering the nature of the death but, what do they know? “You should be resting in peace with her.” Not making the effort to come back to the mortal world for a few brief moments and then disappearing, taking a spoon and breaking the omelette into smaller pieces. “Like I said, nothing much has changed so there is nothing interesting in this boring and mundane life of mine.” 

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

At that he smiled, albeit a little too sadly, and leaned against the counter -- that much he could do, at least. "Yeah, peace isn't really for me," he mused, voice barely above a whisper as if it would disrupt the relaxed atmosphere. On the bright side, being dead meant having less fucks to give, because there was little he could give a fuck about. "Then let's watch a movie. And cuddle. It's been a while since we've done that. Let me take care of you this time, Mama."

[phxlomel-deactivated20150208]

She blinks at how quickly he went off to work, pulling out one of the chairs to sit from the island table as she watches him move around, grabbing one of the green apples from the basket in front of her and tossing it around. “I have nothing planned, which is nothing new. I might practice though.” Singing that is, since you never know nowadays when you will ever place that skill into use, for example with her having sung a lullaby just the night before. “How is Hyeri doing? I am sure she is much happier than she ever was here.”

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

It took all the attention he could muster (not that he had a lot) to even cut the ingredients, and eventually have them on a frying pan. He doesn’t answer until he’s done with breakfast – thankfully, it’s easy to prepare, and he moves quickly in the kitchen. He sets a steaming plate before her with what seems to be a tired smile, and grins even wider. “She’s doing fine. We have out moments, but…yeah. She blames herself for this whole death thing, though.”

[phxlomel-deactivated20150208]

"That would be nice." Come to think of it, hugging was not the only thing that seems to be out of place for her but having someone by her side in general and doing things with her or for her. Goes to show how much a life of solitude can really do to you, pulling his hands down from her face as she lead him to the kitchen. "You can rummage through the fridge. I have yet to stock up on the groceries, so there is not much."

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

Smiling like a kid on Christmas, he practically bounced after her, glad to be spending time with her again after so long. His memory was beginning to fail him the more he spent in the Underworld -- rather, his sense of time was being further skewed. He could no longer remember the exact details of his last visit, and only knew that his laptop had been wrecked. He did exactly as he was told, and scrounged together ingredients for a passable omelette. "Do you have anything to do today, Mama?" he asked, while trying to focus on being corporeal enough to hold onto all the ingredients and start working on them. 

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

Give my character an impossibly hard choice and they’ll have to decide.

[phxlomel-deactivated20150208]

Hugs were so foreign to her by now, the last she had received was from a friend of hers and even then, that was quite some time ago and she has yet to see her around nowadays. But she accepts it nonetheless, along with the questions thrown at her. “I have been well. Nothing has changed over the past few months.”

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

The answer bewildered him, and bothered him. Surely, there must have been some form of change. He expected just a smidgen, at the very least. But to hear that nothing has changed makes him uneasy, and he pulled away just enough to hold her face gently in his hands. There was a small space of silence before he decided to press a lingering kiss on her forehead. "What do you say to some breakfast?"

[abysmalxchild-deactivated201409]

Her arms were crossed over her flat stomach, and they remain like that until her walked behind her and held her shoulders. She dropped her arms next to her body and, in a second, she had a hand over the waist. It was still odd to be in his presence. “Okay.” Moving away from his touch and weight, she walked to her laptop. If she was right, she’d still had her Fullmetal Alchemist folder.

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

If he’d been any close to normal, he’d have simply sat beside her – maybe rested his head upon her shoulder (even though she was shorter than what would have been an appropriate height for him to be comfortable). But he was Kim Seokjin, and despite his current non-living circumstances he playfully hugged her from behind, knowing full well that she was one of the few he could touch. “Yoonjo, I have a question,” he began with mock seriousness. “Will you…wear a maid uniform for me?” 

[phxlomel-deactivated20150208]

"Don’t you know? That is how Nocturne enjoys welcoming people or things that have been gone for awhile now." She does nothing to separate Nocturne from the machine, in fact she sprays Nocturne a little bit more and that was enough to get Nocturne unleashing her claws, anticipating that it will only be seconds before the laptop will meet the blue screen of death. "I am sure they have more of these in the Underworld. After all your father is a businessman and if he was smart, he would sell laptops along with the passwords to the wifi in the Underworld."

[iwentoutwithabangnotawhimper]

The dead male would've said something along the lines of 'admit it, you missed me' had he not been preoccupied with the horror that was Nocturne destroying his precious laptop. All the hours spent sneaking into Bansin for the internet so that he could download illicit videos -- wasted! "Mama! My father and I don't exactly get along well, you know." Tearing his eyes away from the terrifying sight, he turned away dramatically and bit his knuckles softly. "And to think...I came here to visit you...and this is what you greet me with..."