In a way, Joel saves [Ellie], but more emotionally. She’s just so broken that she doesn’t know what to say, and she’s covered in blood, and then she just looks him right in the eye and she leans forward and hugs him. And all he can say is this thing that he hasn’t said in 20 years, which is ‘baby girl’… which is what he called his daughter. — Neil Druckmann
Synopsis: you, Joel and Ellie hike to Boston. But no matter how hard you try, trouble just seems to follow you.
A/N: still girlbossing very close to the sun but we’ll see how it goes. Shower me with love and praise please. Also I never knew I needed Nick Offerman to play a gay man but I genuinely think this episode is the most romantic thing I’ve seen in a long time
Joel found himself sitting at the edge of a river. Not unlike the one you and himself had stayed in a cabin at for your honeymoon. You’d laughed, your jeans bunched up to your knees, spinning around, splashing in the water.
He’d insisted on just watched but you’d grinned and grabbed his hands, pulling him in with you “what’s with the face, honey…?” You’d asked softly as you pulled him into the shallow waters with you, just wading to where the water was halfway up your calf
“Just thinking…” he’d said lowly, looking down at your hands, admiring the pretty ring on your left hand.
“Well stop thinking and dance with me, we’re married for gods sake, I demand a dance with my husband” you’d laughed
“Yes ma’am” he chuckled, relenting
“That’s Mrs. Miller to you” you’d corrected, grinning, and he’d splashed you with his foot in response.
Breaking himself out of his trance, Joel suddenly plunged his hand into the cool water, grabbing a rock, adding it on top of the stack he’d made. It was a marker, if Tommy came looking for them, he’d need wayfinders, and rock stacks were the best way to do it.
——————————————
Finding his way back to the makeshift camp, he found you, packing your things into your bag, your hair pushed back and out of your face with a handkerchief, your eyes tired as you turned to him, hand hovering over your gun before you saw it was him and went back to work
“Do you want your coat back…?” Ellie called to Joel as he went past her and went to help you pack. He didn’t answer, simply finding a bag of some trail mug in his back, popping a couple pieces in his mouth, pausing, staring at the bag before crumpling it back up and tossing it to Ellie
“Thanks…” she said lowly and opened the bag, popping a couple pieces into her mouth.
A long stretch of uncomfortable silence grew.
“Yknow, I’ve never been in the woods” Ellie mentioned, looking around
You looked to her, a slightly humored look on your face “more bugs than you thought?” You asked softly
“Yeah. Mosquitoes? Fuckers suck.” She huffed causing a quiet chuckle from you
More silence
Ellie spoke again “Look I’ve been thinking about-“
“I don’t want your sorries” joel interrupted
“I wasn’t going to say I’m sorry!” She snapped back “I was gonna say that I’ve been thinking about what happened…” she trailed, scoffing. You were a bit proud of her for standing her ground in the conversation. You knew that Joel could be intimidating.
“I was gonna say… nobody made you guys take me. Nobody made you go along with this plan. You needed a-a…” she gestured, trying to remember what it was Joel had been so stressed about “a truck battery or something. So don’t blame me for something that wasn’t my fault.” She said lowly
You both looked to Joel, and you seemed slightly worried he’d lash out. Yell at her, tell her he’d cope however he so chose. But instead he stared.
He stared for a long time before slowly nodding, agreeing to her terms.
Joel picked up his gun and Ellie approached, giving him his coat that he’d laid over her the night prior to help her keep warm.
“How much longer?” She asked the man quietly
“Five hour hike.” It was the first non-threatening thing he’d said since Tess died.
Ellie considered him, then slowly nodded “we can manage that” she agreed. And with that, the three of you took off.
——————————————
Your group found yourselves on a surprisingly peaceful hike, no clickers or runners interrupting you.
You eventually found yourselves on a thickly wooded road. Joel’s head was on a constant swivel, as was yours.
“You guys been on this road a lot..?” Ellie asked softly, keeping her voice low as to not draw any infected “you know that it’s safe?”
You glanced to her, nodding to reassure the girl “yeah. It’s been a while but it’s clear”
“So what are you looking out for?” She asked you
“People.” You and Joel spoke at the same time. It was a common understanding now. Put in the wild, people were sometimes more dangerous than the monsters. People were monsters themselves out here.
“Mm…” Ellie hummed simply “I take it that frank guy ain’t nice?” She asked, trying to joke
“Frank is…” joel responded.
Another moment of silence as Ellie turned to him as you all walked “how’d you get that scar on your head?” She asked
An exasperated sigh escaped the man
“What? Is it something embarrassing??” She pressed, grinning. She’d completely misread his sigh “fall down the stairs or something?” She asked, grinning
“I didn’t fall down any stairs.” Came Joel’s simple answer.
“Okay so what then??” Ellie grinned, her eyes sparkling with interest
“Guy shot at me and missed…” his tone was becoming more annoyed as he walked
“See, that’s cool…” Ellie said with a toothy grin “d’you get him back?”
“No, I missed too.” He sighed lowly
“So what we’re you bad at shooting back then? Or just in general…” she joked
“Just in general” came your response immediately, taking the attention off of him.
“What about you?” She asked, looking to you fully “why’d you marry someone like Joel??”
Joel turned to her, scowling, brows furrowed further
“No offense” Ellie quickly responded “but it’s just… you seem so much more”
“Fun?” You asked
“Yeah.” Ellie responded
“I had a lapse in judgement” you said with a playful grin
This caused a laugh from Ellie as the three of you continued on your way.
You soon came to a store and Ellie read out the name “Cumberland Farms…” she hummed
“Hang back here a second, I need to get some stuff I stashed…” joel said to her
“‘Stashed’??” Ellie repeated “why’d you have stuff stashed here??”
“You ask a lot of goddamn questions.” Joel sighed
“Yes I do.” Ellie’s tone seemed a bit proud of that fact.
——————————————
Ellie had separated off to explore a bit and you finally turned to Joel “so are we just not going to talk about it?”
“What?” Joel asked, pretending to be clueless
“Joel. Tess was in love with you. She was cooing over you like she was your goddamn wife! Why didn’t you say anything to her?” You asked, stepping closer to Joel
Joel seemed to get upset “do I have to explain myself to you over every little thing?!” He snapped
“Yes! Yes you do, Joel! In case you’ve forgotten, that’s what a goddamn marriage is. I am your wife, and I deserve an explanation as to why you were just letting her hang off of you!” Your hands gestured wildly but he quickly caught them
“Woman-…” his tone was harsh, but he sighed, slowly, calming down “I need you to understand. Tess? She had connections, people who respected her. And I somehow found my way into her favor. She has connections all over the goddamn country, and I-… I needed that. I needed to get food home to you and make sure you were taken care of.” He sighed “if I had fallen out of kindness with her… she coulda done anything, I’d have to work double and I wouldn’t have any of the time to care for you…” he explained “I needed to suffer through so I could get home to you in time to at least have dinner,..” he whispered lowly
Your face softened, and your hands found his face “Joel… that’s all you needed to say to me…” you whispered, thumbs caressing the growing bags under his eyes “I felt like… like I was losing you to her… you can’t just expect me to understand what you’re thinkin’ without telling me…” you said quietly.
Joel sighed contently, his arms winding around your waist, pressing his forehead to yours “I will… I’ll do better, sugar…” he whispered
“You better, Tex.” You chuckled, and lifted yourself to your toes, gently kissing your husband for the first time in what felt like weeks. He clutched you closer to him and held you as if he might never hold you again. When your lips parted from his he simply slouched into you, allowing himself a moment to just relax into you. He had his wife back.
You stumbled away from him when you heard a clatter in the other room
“Ellie?” Joel called, seeming a bit worried
No answer
“Ellie?!” He grabbed his gun, as did you, and you both started making your way over
No answer
“Ellie!” You called, and just as you made it to the door, the girl came out, holding a box of tampons
“picked clean my ass.” She scoffed
——————————————
“Woooah…” Ellie marveled as the group continued on their way, walking past a crashed airplane, it was decrepit, grown into the ground, reclaimed by nature, like most things now. “Did you guys ever fly in one of those?” She asked
“Yeah, just a couple times” you shrugged as you walked with them, stretching out, trying to get your back to relax
“Lucky…” Ellie huffed lowly.
“Didn’t feel lucky at the time, crammed in a middle seat, paying 12 dollars for a fuckin’ sandwich” joel huffed
“You got to be in the sky.” Ellie stressed seeming frustrated at his lack of appreciation.
“Yeah well… so did they.” He nodded to the plane, before turning and walking off
“Grim….” Ellie said lowly, awkward.
———————————————
“So everything came crashing down in one day…” Ellie said, looking to Joel for confirmation
“Pretty much…” joel muttered in response, shrugging to adjust his bag.
“How? I mean no one was infected, everyone was fine. Eating in restaurants and… flying in planes and then… all at once?” She sighed
“How did it even start??” She questioned “if you have to get bit to be infected, then who bit the first person?” She asked, facing Joel fully “was it a monkey? I bet it was a monkey!” She said decisively
“I thought you went to school.” Joel deadpanned
“FEDRA school.” Ellie huffed “they don’t teach us how a… shitty government couldn’t stop a pandemic.” She huffed
Joel looked to her before finally giving an answer. “Well… nobody really knows for sure. But the best guess… they mutated, some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar. There were brands of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country, around the world. Bread, cereal…” he glanced to you “pancake mix…”
You paused, looking at him, a frown finding your lips. Now was not a good time for an ‘I-told-you-so’ moment.
“You eat enough of it, it gets you infected” he continued, sighing
“That… makes a lot more sense than monkeys.” Ellie sighed
————————————————
Joel sighed. He looked ahead and realized where they were at. You always had a hard time with this part of the trip.
“Come on, Ellie, we’re gonna cut through the woods.” Joel said simply
“What? Why?” She asked softly “wouldn’t it just be quicker to take the road?” She questioned
“Well… yeah but-“
“So what’s the deal?” She asked, brow arched
“There’s something up there you don’t need to see” joel said simply, trying to save you the embarrassment of admitting that you had a hard time with it
“What if I want to see it?” She asked
“I don’t want you to” he huffed, frustrated.
“Can it hurt me?”
“Well no, but-“
“Joel, just leave it… I’ll be fine.” You said lowly, trying to ease Joel’s worries
“You sure…?” He asked lowly. When he received a nod in response, he relented.
“Well whatever it was, it’s gone now!!” Ellie called back, only to freeze, seeing what looked to be a graveyard. Luggage and bones, it was… heartbreaking.
Joel gently held you close as the two of you joined her. You swallowed, suddenly feeling like you might puke as you saw all of the bones. You’d always been more sensitive to things like this… seeing executions of the innocent, it made you sick.
“What is this…?” Ellie asked lowly
“FEDRA.” You answered “that Monday after the outbreak…” you sighed “they gathered up people who’d escaped the cities, told them they were going to a QZ.”
“And they were…” joel added “if there was room. If there wasn’t…” he looked to the skeletons
“These people weren’t sick…” Ellie mumbled lowly
“No… they weren’t.” Was your response.
A long pregnant pause.
“Why kill them?” Ellie asked quietly
“Dead people can’t get infected…” you said softly to her