Meraki

(n.) to do something with soul, or love; when you leave a piece of yourself in your work

[j-meraki]

I'm learning to be more of a go-getter. I don't want to spend so much time thinking of you as I want to actually be with you.

JM England #30 : I think I'll call you

[j-meraki]

“I love the rain. I love how it softens the outlines of things. The world becomes softly blurred, and I feel like I melt right into it.” Hanamoto Hagumi, Honey and Clover (via safest-heaven)

[j-meraki]

I heard you're okay now and I do hope that's true. At least one of us deserves to be happy. Not that I'm not, because I am... I think I can truly say I'm content which I guess is kind of a big step for me... You never called me back and I hope it's for the best. You know, the whole idea about letting go of the things you love (or people rather). Um, I still think about you sometimes. Not that I absolutely miss you, I mean I do a little, but I'm okay. I heard you met someone new. Okay, my tea is boiling now. Bye.

JM England #29 : This is the last one

[j-meraki]

I think you love her now and I guess I'm supposed to be okay with that.

JM England #28 : Tsunamis of flashbacks

[j-meraki]

Of course she wanted to kiss him. She wanted fearless love of sopping wet hugs damp with rainwater and flowers with petals of scarlet left at her doorstep. She hoped for a fairytale but somehow drinking coffee at an all-night diner felt just the same with him.

JM England #27 : Excerpt from an entry stained with tea

[j-meraki]

She liked the idea of being loved more so than she liked him.

JM England #26 : How do you tell someone that?

[j-meraki]

The scarlet flush of her cheeks reminded him of their burning love against the snow on the sidewalks.

JM England #25 : Moments like these are not so easily forgotten

[j-meraki]

I don't believe in coincidences, but I do believe in miracles. And truthfully, it was too strange that out of all the billions of people in the world, we met.

JM England #24 : Journal entry

[j-meraki]

She was okay with being alone, but how wonderful it sounded to be loved.

JM England #23 : Is that a terrible thing to wish?

[j-meraki]

I miss you but, with that said, there's no going back.

JM England #22 : Shall I see you again, turn the other way or I might just fall in love

[j-meraki]

The first time he tells you he loves you, your eyes beam and the smile plastered on your face nearly looks fake but you can’t help it because in that moment you really believed them. But as the years go by the words are beginning to be whispered and turned inside out until they’re only said tangled in bedsheets. You begin to wonder, along the way, when they lost their meaning. In-between rushed cups of coffee and after shallow kisses in the parking lots of movie theaters. Slurred at parties with two red solo-cups; they’re meaning dwindling with each sip of burning alcohol. Rung out and emotionally vacant.

JM England #21 : When did they become a lie?

[j-meraki]

She swore there must have been something inside of him that cried he still was human.

JM England #20 : And that is why she could never let go

[j-meraki]

First we must free ourselves from the perpetual waiting until we are loved.

JM England #19 : Thoughts as I was listening to the static of the telephone line

[j-meraki]

Maybe we are supposed to carelessly fall in and out of love.

JM England #18 : Maybe that's all part of the plan

[j-meraki]

I am still waiting for the day when you realize that I had been hopelessly in love with you; But now I am fine on my own.

JM England #17 : I've learned I am the only one who can save me

[j-meraki]

One day when I’ve finally learned to love myself, I hope I can honestly tell a crowd full of people that I am happy with the person I’ve created.

JM England #16 : An uproar from an audience too frozen to admit that they’re afraid to accept themselves

[j-meraki]

I'm learning to be okay that some people will never love you no matter what you do.

JM England #15 : Excerpt from my journal