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@jackandeugene
Dear listeners,
this is your annual reminder to not dress up as zombies for Halloween.
It may be tempting - it may be easy - it may even be hilarious - but our runners are quicker than you and they've been consecutively conditioned to throw sharp objects at everything that groans and has an unhealthily grey complexion.
They've also got axes.
(Seriously, Eugene almost broke my nose with his crutches, this morning, and I don't even get to be miffed about it.)
What you don't know about your favourite radio show:
The zombie noises in Runner Zero and the Forest of Fear last episode weren't scripted. That was just Gene having eaten too many tinned beans.
We have been told to stop the rickrolling. But I’m never gonna give this up, I’m never gonna let this down.
“Shot down with a rocket launcher, survived the helicopter crash, escaped a whole horde of the undead. If I learnt anything, it’s that Runner Five won’t die easily.”
Looking nice, Jody! I still think, “Come with me if you wanna live” is the more stupid-slash-cliché thing to say.
The real mystery of the zombie apocalypse is why there are so many sports bras just… lying around. Who would abandon a perfectly usable sports bra??
I don’t think they’re lying around as much. There is one runner who keeps picking them up. I don’t know how or from where, but I have a feeling we all know why. - Jack
“Unhealthy obsession?” Mr. Holden, I trust I needn’t remind you of last week’s RPG fiasco. Pot. Kettle.
Apparently, it still hasn’t entered what’s left of Jack’s brain that, even though he’s talking to dense air or typing in a closed-off room, people can actually hear or read the opinions he inflicts on the world. Yeah, you weren’t supposed to read those tags, Runner Five. - Eugene
As usual, Gene, you’re the sensible one here. Are we still on for cards with Sam and Simon? I finally got together a whole deck of cards.
Forgive me if I'm a bit sceptical. Last time, Ed claimed to have a complete deck and it led to the whole "You are cheating by remembering the pattern of scratches and dried blood on the back of my card"-incident, which then in turn led to Sam not talking to any of us for three days and Janine yelling at me (more than usually). On the other hand, that was probably the most exciting thing that happened all month.
Eugene just threw up on me. Again.
Dear Eugene and Jack, and Paul or whatever your name was,
I am writing you to inform you that I do not have a creepy fixation on sports bras. They actually do happen to lie around, okay? It’s not like I go looking for them by detouring to an old Addidas factory down south. Of which I know nothing. And by the way, I wouldn’t even get in there unless I knew about the tiny hole above the back door handle. Which I don’t, incidentally. Also, sports bras happen to be trendy and convenient at once; a perfect marriage between style and function that gives you the strength to carry on through attacking zombie hordes, making you look like the badass warrior queen you are, all the while making sure your boobs are save and sound. And I do not have an obsession with them.
Sincerely yours, Runner Five (regular listener of your show who notices if you talk shit)
Um, awkward! But not as awkward as that one time when Sam tried to get Runner 4 to bring him those Aquaman costume supplies but he didn’t realize he left the comms open for everyone, so every runner out there was set on finding fake-abs for him, instead of the cables Janine needed. Remember when Janine was greeted by a squad of Abel’s finest runners, all dragging various versions of male torsos and padding material with them? And the ensuing dressing-down that was also transmitted on all frequencies? I think we still have a copy of that lying around somewhere, for everyone who missed it. - Jack
The real mystery of the zombie apocalypse is why there are so many sports bras just… lying around. Who would abandon a perfectly usable sports bra??
I don’t think they’re lying around as much. There is one runner who keeps picking them up. I don’t know how or from where, but I have a feeling we all know why. - Jack
“Unhealthy obsession?” Mr. Holden, I trust I needn’t remind you of last week’s RPG fiasco. Pot. Kettle.
Apparently, it still hasn’t entered what’s left of Jack’s brain that, even though he’s talking to dense air or typing in a closed-off room, people can actually hear or read the opinions he inflicts on the world. Yeah, you weren’t supposed to read those tags, Runner Five. - Eugene
The real mystery of the zombie apocalypse is why there are so many sports bras just… lying around. Who would abandon a perfectly usable sports bra??
I don’t think they’re lying around as much. There is one runner who keeps picking them up. I don’t know how or from where, but I have a feeling we all know why. - Jack
Exciting News, listeners!
RoffleNet evolved way past the basic “where can we go to stay alive?”-beacons now - and though we are not yet able to upload cat videos and restart the “I’m auditioning for”-meme, we are proud to anounce our very own “ask your favourite radio hosts a question”-blog. As you can see, it’s still under construction, but we thought we’d get this first message out to you as soon as possible. For your entertainment and ours. (Gosh it’s boring to sit in a room the size of a cardboard box for 23 hours a day!)
My name is Jack Holden and you’re reading “Ask Eugene and Jack” on Radio Abel’s blog.
