We're smaller than we think

Jack Freeman || 27 || Teacher at VPA

[rolando--bloom]

It’s not easy. It’s not easy at all. I slip up all the time. My cravings always knock at the door at the most worst times. And that’s when I leave the place I’m at. I… I can't be that person I was when I was on my fix… 

It doesn’t help if you’re alone, I’ll tell you that..

[jackfreemanvpa]

I don't think I'll stop myself just by thinking that I shouldn't be the person I am now... Th-This's just going to end one way, and I'm almost sure how it goes..  I seriously have no idea how you control yourself.

Yeah Rolando, but what will you do? You shouldn't really have to deal with my mood swings and all that shit. Plus, people can't know about this.. I mean, a teacher who does meth and makes whenever he gets a chance? I'm screwed.

[rolando--bloom]

Stop fucking saying that, God damn it. It always comes back to my age, because I’m fucking younger than you. I won’t understand anything. Well, fuck you! I have lived as much as you have. You don’t know a thing about me.

I’ve been addicted to cocaine when I was fifteen years old. I think I know enough about drug abuse, don’t you think?

[jackfreemanvpa]

I'm so sorry Rolando.. I had no idea you... I'm really sorry..  How do you handle it, though? Thankfully, you're still alive so you must be doing something right..

[rolando--bloom]

No, I appreciate you telling me. Thanks. I guess it means you trust me. 

Okay. So you don’t sell it, right? You just make your own to use it… 

Let me help you, Jack. Please? If you want to stop, you shouldn’t be going at this alone..

[jackfreemanvpa]

Exactly... -sighs- You know what.. this is stupid. I'm a grown man and you're 17. You shouldn't worry about my problems. Specially this kind of problems.

I just haven't been trying.. yeah that's it. I just need to try harder...

[rolando--bloom]

… Jesus Christ. You’re addicted to the stuff, aren’t you. Jacky…

Alright, I get it. I’m guessing you make the stuff in the lab at night, when everyone’s asleep?

[jackfreemanvpa]

No, too risky. You would tell by the smell it leaves.. I just prepare some stuff in the la and then I go to an abandoned and finish the work. 

I just.. Fuck, I already od'ed once before coming to Chicago and told myself I'd stop... I probably shouldn't have told ya. 

[rolando--bloom]

… Well shit, that escalated quickly. I wouldn’t have expected you to be the Breaking Bad type of guy. Look at you.

What do you make, then?

[jackfreemanvpa]

I c-can't really stop..

Meth, mostly.

[rolando--bloom]

Don’t underestimate me, Jacky. That’s actually pretty insulting. Just try me, okay? One time, just talk to me..

[jackfreemanvpa]

Alright um... I uh.. I do drugs.. And not the weed kind.. I actually make some as well.

[rolando--bloom]

I’m glad it doesn’t phase you. I don’t think your an asshole, if that makes you feel any better. I actually like you a lot more than most people here.

Jacky, stop bullshitting me, honestly. We’re both too smart for the shit. It’s one thing if you don’t want to tell me, but don’ lie about why you don’t sleep a lot.

[jackfreemanvpa]

I know.. and thank you.

The thing is.. I really don't want you to worry Rolando. Besides you're just 17, you have other things to worry about.

[rolando--bloom]

Yeah, I heard people talking about you. Some of the stuff isn’t very pretty. But are you bothered that everyone thinks your an ass? I wouldn’t be.

I don’t think you sleep much. You always have dark circles under your eyes. And every Wednesday in class you’re just even more grumpier then you already are.

[jackfreemanvpa]

I never had that much friends in high school, so this is no big difference. 

You've been paying attention, I see. Dude, don't worry about really. II just work a lot, that's all.

[rolando--bloom]

-looks back at Jack and smiles-

Did I just get a smile out of you, Jacky? That’s awesome, am I like the first ine to do that?

Tired, you’re always tired. You should sleep. Have insomia, or something?

[jackfreemanvpa]

You know I'm getting a reputation as the rude teacher or some shit like that.

I'm not really sure that's name for it -he whispers to himself -

Yeah I don't.. I think I sleep plenty.

[rolando--bloom]

Not with that attitude, you aren’t. I just have to look everywhere that I was..

-Begins to look around the classroom, under desks, etc.-

Nope, not under there…

How have you been, Jacky?

[jackfreemanvpa]

-smiles as he watches the young man look for his wallet-

Oh ya know.. pretty tired. You?

[sethjen-eca-blog]

Umm, yeah, I don’t want a job because of him. I’m an A+ student and I’m in most sports teams and in the student council so I want a job because of that not because of who my bloody father is.

[jackfreemanvpa]

I'm just sayin' there are quite a few advantages to being the prime minister's son. But yeah I get ya.. I wasn't that bad at school either and I'd hate for may family to intervene with my future.

[jackfreemanvpa]

5am

Ugh fuck! F-fuuuck, shit... I'm s-so not going to school tomorrow..

[rolando--bloom]

You’re right, I should be a little more careful… 

Hey! Do you want to help me look for it? That might help, I think. Two heads are better than one, right?

[jackfreemanvpa]

Sure, but to be honest I don't really think we're gonna get lucky.

[sethjen-eca-blog]

Please don’t call him daddy. That’s disgusting hearing from people who don’t fuck him. And from people who do fuck him, to be honest. And no. I was hated all my life for being his son even though I never saw him for more than five minutes unless it was for a politics party so I don’t see any point in being his son and/or any advantages. I hate him.

[jackfreemanvpa]

Jeez sorry to hear that.. But hey at least he has money and power.. You'll find a job anywhere.

[rolando--bloom]

I don’t know, Jacky. It just kind of disappeared…

Fuck.. it’s cool though. I lose things all the time.

[jackfreemanvpa]

You should be more careful, ya know.. if ya wanna start a live on your own and all that.

[brennandavidsonx-deactivated201]

Well I’ll just have to make it last then. Aw, that’s cute isn’t it. Never thought about male modeling?

[jackfreemanvpa]

Very funny.. No I didn't. I loved science way too much to just forget about it.

[brennandavidsonx-deactivated201]

Well I'm here aren't I, and I think we’re too far along to stop now. Why don’t you tell me more about yourself? -sips his drink-

[jackfreemanvpa]

No seriously.. You're allowed one last glass. Then you leave.. Myself? -pours himself another glass- There's not much to say. I was a nerd and now I'm a teacher.