Simon Spier

Who the hell took that picture of us? 

[jacqueslovesblue]

I’m going to take a break from this blogging stuff only because finals are coming up but I promise I’ll be back! I just wanted to introduce you all to my new friend Victor. Victor is the person who I talked about in my previous post that hit me up about the situation he was going through. Don’t blow anything out of proportion because he gave me permission to do this lol, but I was talking to Victor and I was telling him how I’m just swamped with a whole bunch of work but I’ve been getting a lot of submissions from a lot of different people asking for advice (apparently I’ve gone viral😎). Victor is going to be helping me out with a lot of your questions and we will try our best to reply to as many people as possible as soon as possible. 

Other than that I just wanted to thank everybody who has heard about my story and takes their time out of their day to pay attention to my blog posts. You guys constantly tell me how much I’ve touched you and I just wanted to let you all know that you have the power within yourself to make things happen which includes making yourself happy. It’s amazing to have a support system but I never want any of you to forget the amount of power you withhold. Life gets better; the highs are high but the lows are definitely low...but I don’t want that to put fear in your heart. Remember there is always someone waiting for you to hit them up to have a vent session, just don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. Embrace who you are, love who you are, and love and respect each other! Now I’m gonna go strangle myself and then hit the books😂

                                                                                                                -Simon

[jacqueslovesblue]

"Sometimes it seems like everyone knows who I am except me."

-Simon Spier

Yeah it may be a little bit tacky of me to post my own quote but it was for good reason. Today a kid reached out to me (I’m not going to say who or where they’re from) telling me that they are basically in the same boat I was in while I was in high school. They heard my story from someone and they were seeking advice. I’m not going to disclose too much information but seeing that there are people who look to me for advice despite not even knowing me truly touches me. 

I shared this quote because I want others out there who will possibly stumble upon my page to know that you are not alone! You don’t have to gay, or a male, or white for me to understand. Everyone at some point looks at themselves in the mirror and wonder if they like who is staring back at them. It’s okay to not have yourself figured out right now, nobody is asking you to have all the answers. As I’ve said in one of my other posts, I’m legit here for anybody that needs to talk! We have to stick together in this world if we want to remain sane. 

                                                                                                       -Simon

[jacqueslovesblue]

College Update

I AM DYING!!!😩

Homework, actual work, more homework, no sleep, stress, anxiety, quizzes, exams, midterms, finals, IT NEVER ENDS!!! I’ve met a lot of interesting people here so far and they’re all wonderful but they’re not the problem. The problem is balancing all this damn work and my mental health. I sometimes revert back to my old posts and I see I was talking about my identity, my sexuality, and fitting in....spending time here in college just helped me realize that people don’t care about that stuff; if they think you’re good company then y’all are most likely going to hang out. I expected to encounter a lot more assholes than I did in high school but I honestly haven’t and I think I’m still the dull yet intriguing Simon I was back in high school.

The only thing besides my new found friends and my boyfriend that has kept me sane is that Leah, Abby, Nick and my family visited me and we just had the most amazing time out. I showed them a bunch of different hotspots and we were just acting like tourists. Instead of me going back home, everybody wanted to visit New York so they all booked hotel rooms and we just had a ball. It’s not like I’m failing or anything because I’m no0t, but I just didn’t expect to always be on my feet and always be up to something school related. It’s nice to have something to do but not when that something constantly involves school. Instead of worrying about being accepted, I should have be sketching different self care plans so I won’t lose my mind here😂 Despite me minor ranting, I’m really enjoying New York!

                                                                                                         -Simon

[jacqueslovesblue]

So today was my first day of classes and it wasn’t as terrifying as I thought it was going to be. Despite me catching my train late, having coffee spilled on me, and walking in the wrong classroom...I’m still alive so I guess that’s a good sign. I’m a Digital Arts major and I’m taking a good 4 courses right now. I had so many butterflies in my stomach once I found where I was supposed to be, not because I was late but because everybody in that room was intimidating as fuck! I was worried that they would all overshadow me and that the professor expected so much from me but after doing a couple of ice breakers, it hit me that everybody was feeling the same way I was feeling! Even majority of my professors were shaking in their boots because they too get nervous the first day of class. After the professors reassured us that everything will be okay and they completely understand how we feel, the rest of the day was pretty easy.

After my classes were done, I went to get meet up with Bram and we were just exchanging our first day stories. Y’all know he has already met like 5 people and they’re going to hang out tonight...that’s seriously UNBELIEVABLE! I told y’all he’s the social butterfly of the relationship, but it’s all good because he invited me to come with. I keep thinking to myself that I should be more like that. I mean there’s really nothing to be scared of, people are just people...and the kids in my class already seem like they’re cool so why not take a shot. Anyways, I’ve been welcomed into the real world and I’m excited to face whatever life has in store for me!

                                                                                                          -Simon

[jacqueslovesblue]

Now that I’m a New Yorker, Bram and I decided to go to our very first Pride Parade! Now I know y’all not trying to read an educational or teachable post (which is why I inserted the video about Stonewall so if you’re interested go ahead and check it out), so I’m going to try to make it interesting. I honestly was not expecting to have as much fun as I did while I was there. You hear and see so many stories about the Pride Parade but there’s nothing like being there. The streets are just filled with happy people, music blasting, everyone’s dancing, everyone’s loving on someone they don’t even know, and there’s just good vibes everywhere! Bram and I went with our roommates who are also apart of this wonderful community and who are AMAZING people may I add, we became really fast friends. 

While being there I couldn’t help but tear up a little. Transitioning from a suburban area to an urban area was definitely a nice change, but just seeing all the love that was spread amongst so many people would definitely make you admire and appreciate those who surround yourself with. I literally could not let go of Bram’s hand because I was so thankful that I was sharing that experience with him. Don’t get me wrong I really miss my friends and I wish they were there to share that with me but if I had to have anybody by my side, I’m glad it was Bram. Despite him getting jealous because a couple of people couldn’t keep their eyes off of me lol, the day was really nice. Being in that atmosphere made me realize that I’m saying I’m apart of this family...but I know nothing about it. As soon as we got back home I just started doing so much research and just soaking up as much history as I possibly could and now I want to share that glorious moment with you guys, so enjoy!

                                                                                                           -Simon

[jacqueslovesblue]

Apartment Hunting

So I thought college apps and facing graduation was stressful...those are NOTHING compared to apartment hunting! Clearly there’s NYU housing but with both me and Bram being in New York we just decided to find a space together. I don’t know how my parents do it because adulting is so hard, like there’s bills, bills, and more bills. I’ve always been responsible and Bram and I already have jobs but the responsibility of an adult is a lot more pressure than the responsibility of a kid who’s just exiting high school. This is like a huge transition so now we’re really feeling the force. 

Thank God we not only have each other to help get through this but our parents are helping us out as well. We’ve had to at least go through 10 apartments by now. They were either too far from one of our campus’, they had rat issues, or they weren’t in good condition utility wise. We have one more apartment to look at later on this afternoon and hopefully this is the one because we are DYING OVER HERE!🙄 I’m a little skeptical about this one though because we would be have roommates. Bram is good with meeting new people, I’m the introverted one so I’m a bit nervous but hey maybe they’ll be cool people.🤷🏻‍♂️

[jacqueslovesblue]

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE GRADUATES!!!🥳 I swear it’s been a weird 4 years with everybody but I can’t express how happy I am to be leaving that hell hole😂. I am not going to miss Creekwood High School at all! Obviously there are certain people I’m going to miss that have played a huge role in my life, but as far as the building🖕🏻. Before I get into my little motivational speech despite me not even being valedictorian, I just wanted to shout out my boy Nick who did an amazing job helping DJ’ing the prom! Y’all already know I’m not a huge picture person so I’m not posting anything from that night but it was truly magical. Let me just paint a quick picture for you guys. Me and Bram matching with our royal blue suits (his idea, not mine🙄), Abby wearing a gorgeous purple dress upstaging Nick because he loves to dress basic lol, and Leah just looking absolutely stunning in this red dress. That had to be one of the best nights of our lives and I’m glad I got so many memories from it.

Now back to my fake valedictorian speech. Life is picking up for all of us, whether you’re going to college or pursuing other things. Life is going to apply a lot of pressure to you, test you, and suffocate you. If there’s anything you all take with you into the next chapter of your life, it should be this piece of advice. Don’t forget that you are surrounded by people who love and support you. Never think you are alone in your walks of life because that is false. Even if you haven’t met that one person that completely gets you doesn’t mean you aren’t going to. If you have met that one person or that group of people who get you, then hold onto them. Bottom line is, never think you are alone because there is always someone out there in the world who is going through and feeling the same thing you are, and there is always someone who will be willing to listen to your problems and be that shoulder you can cry on....I’m one of them❤️

                                                                                                               -Simon

[jacqueslovesblue]

NYU HERE I COME BABY!!!!!🥳🥳🥳 Okay so quick update since I kind of left y’all hanging with my previous post, I just had to take a break from social media. You all most likely don’t care anyways so I don’t know why I’m telling you😂 Anyways, I GOT INTO MY NUMER 1 CHOICE🎉 My little sister already baked me the biggest and tastiest Strawberry Shortcake I have ever seen, and my mom and my dad already broken my bones by squeezing me death😂 This is so surreal, I legit don’t even know how to feel. You would always watch different adolescent coming out films and see that the one closeted gay kid can’t wait to go to college so they won’t have to hide and they can just be free. I’ve dreamed about that moment but now that I’m out to my friends and family, I don’t know how I’m going to shine on campus or who I’m even going to become.

I took the cliché route and wrote about my sexuality...I mean hey I’m human and that’s an important part of my identity. Clearly that combined with my impeccable grades, NYU saw potential in me. This is clearly supposed to be an uplifting post and a celebration but...I can’t help but think the stress and worrying isn’t over yet. Like obviously college won’t be a breeze but it’s a completely different ball game. I was so worried about my anxiety during high school that I couldn’t think about the type of anxiety college has to offer. Just because I’m surrounded by different people doesn’t mean everybody is going to be accepting, and it doesn’t mean my life is going to be easier. I guess all that matters is that I’ll always have my friends and family’s support to help guide me and make me realize that the opinions of other’s aren’t that significant. As long as you love yourself, you’ll be able to overcome anything.

                                                                                                      -Simon

[jacqueslovesblue]

COLLEGE😖

Whoever said applying for college isn’t something to stress over, MAN WERE THEY WRONG! Not only do you have to deal with the unwanted anxiety from wondering if you’re going to get into the college of your dreams, but say if you do then you have to worry about being able to afford it. My friends and I are literally panicking about this whole thing because this is one of the few steps to our future. The difference between me and them is that Abby is definitely going to get a bunch of acting scholarships, Nick has his soccer scholarships, Leah is going to get some type of scholastic writing scholarship, and then there’s me.....just living. The biggest deal about college apps is the damn personal statement. Almost every school wants to hear about the time you climbed Mount Everest, or when you saved a baby from a burning car, they don’t care that you’re just an average guy from a small town who just came out the closet.

I know majority of you would say “Simon why not just write your essay about that,” don’t get me wrong, I’ve obviously thought about it numerous times but it sounds like a cliché. Do I wanna be a cliché? I just feel like this is the most interesting thing about me and of course I want to share my story and my feelings, but I don’t want to just write about this to be writing about it. I want to make sure my story is perfectly executed and is heartfelt. I want the admissions department of NYU to see that I stand out and I have a lot offer. I don’t know maybe I’m just in way over my head here. I CAN’T STOP PANICKING!😓😓😓

[jacqueslovesblue]

Ditched school today😝!!! After the stressful week I’ve had I definitely needed a break. Not only did i deal with assholes at school, but then my dad tried to have that “talk” with me (obviously not the usual talk), my mom kept asking me if I’m okay, and my sister kept trying to make me taste this new casserole dish she’s attempting. It feels nice to just sit back, kick it with my crew, and my boyfriend. 

First we went to the mall, then we went to the lake, then bowling, then a movie, then to dinner. I have no idea why I broke down our entire day plans like that but I guess it was just relieving to share good news. Clearly you can tell I’m not holding my phone and driving, I just got a new phone mount, and I wanted to capture every single moment of our trip considering the fact that we’re going to be going to college soon. There’s nothing like laughing, having fun, and spending some quality time with friends! BTW hit up leah and abby if you want a gif made, they did a rockin job at this!🤙🏻

                                                                                                             -Simon