always & forever

{Married since 11.29.13} Important Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious. All rights belong to ©Nickelodeon Studios. -

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

Texting Tori.

JADE: Hey! Have you seen Puckett around anywhere?

TORI: Why? What's happened??

JADE: She only went and showed Cat the Sausage Party trailer!

TORI: Oh! Isn't that the movie about the happy food at a supermarket. It's cute!

JADE: Did you watch all of it?

TORI: No.

TORI: ...

TORI: OH. OH NO! NO!

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

Jade Vega TheSlap Status Update.

So my loser of a wife put on my bra by accident and then woke me up by screaming “Aaah! It’s a booby trap!” because she couldn’t get out of it. #marriedlife

Mood: Really.

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

TORI VEGA UPLOADED A PHOTO TO THE SLAP.  Snapped this sneaky pic of Jade being a News anchor for a student film!! Breaking News: She’s bringing sexy back! #NewsCrews.

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

Jade&Tori Comment: Victorious.

This episode: The Hambone King.

J: Isn’t this the one where you slap yourself and pretend it’s a real sport? T: It IS a real sport and the slapping is referred to as competitive Hamboning.  J: ... Competitive slapping.

T: Oh do you remember Cat and her tap dancing craze?  J: God, don’t remind me. I’ve told Sam to hide those shoes. T: Oh hey it’s you and Dre! What were you two doing hanging out together?  J: We were working on a project... T: And...? J: And I heard you were at Nozu so I made him drive us over there.  T: Awhh -  J: Don’t start. T: I think me and Andre are the only ones who can take food out of your mouth and drag you away. J: Good thing I was in a pleasant mood at the time. Or else he might have looked like that ice cream splat on the wall. 

J: You never lock your front door and considering your dad’s a cop, shouldn’t that be like, a mandatory thing?  T: It’s really creepy how accurate this show is to our lives...

T: “I’ll do it but only because I want to.” Example of Jade being whipped. J: Did you not hear what I said? I did it because I WANTED to.  T: Whiiiiiiiiipped.  J: I will make you swallow your TV remote.

J: There’s little you...being a dork just like regular you! J: Wow babe. You can’t trash talk.  T: It’s better than what Robbie had! Who uses Mahjong in an insult?? J: Woo! Look at my baby go. Yeah! Slap yourself Vega!  T: I’m slapping and eating sushi! That should be a new record!  T: Aww! Look how happy you are for me in the background! J: All hail the new Hambone Queen!  T: As your Queen, I declare that Jade Vega will now make me a delicious cup of hot chocolate!  J: Don’t push it. Fine but just coz you’re cute.

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

My “Secret Drink” Was Water!

Trina Vega, N/A, Los Angeles.  Review of Jet Brew Store #21670. 1/10. Absolutely horrified to find that my “secret drink” order was half a cup of sink water and 4 pumps of caramel sauce! It tasted AWFUL. I will never be going there again! 

Manager for store #21670 Jade Vega replied: YES. FINALLY. 

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

Texting Jade.

TORI: Hey baby, there's some rumors going around campus that Jet Brew has a "secret drink" on the menu for the summer??

JADE: Yeah, it's sink water and whatever else I want to add.

TORI: Uh...pretty sure that's not the featured secret drink.

JADE: It's what they're gonna get if they order it.

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

TORI VEGA UPLOADED A PHOTO TO THESLAP. “May the 4th be with you!”

Jade Vega commented: Must you subject everyone to this picture every May 4th? We get it. You’re a nerd.  Tori Vega replied: But I’m YOUR nerd, right?? Jade Vega replied: May one and only. Tori Vega commented: !!!

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

Texting Tori.

JADE: Babe! I'm starving! What are we having for dinner?

TORI: I just put some fish sticks in the oven!

JADE: Awesome. How long will they be?

TORI: Uh...about 4 inches.

JADE: ...

JADE: ENOUGH.

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

Texting Tori.

JADE: Babe...I've found another wrapper behind our bed.

TORI: Oh! Who is it this time? Snoop Dogg or 50 Cent?

JADE: Did you - did you just Dad joke me??

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

Tori Vega What I Hate #1

-beep- 

Hey you guys! It’s not Jade, I’ll give you a hint. It rhymes with Pori! That’s right, it’s me, Tori! And I figured instead of doing my normal thang, I’d try and write one of these What I Hate segments. I’ve been told it’s quite cleansing, so here we go!

Okay. What I hate... what I hate. I really don’t like creepy guys. You know, the ones that can’t take a hint even though you’ve clearly given them the message that you’re not interested. Yeaah.. Oh! I really really hate it when you’re eating an ice cream cone and then your tongue pushes it too far over and the ice cream goes splat on the floor! Like, I was enjoying that! 

#RIP my Rocky Road Scoop.

I really hate other people hitting on my wife. That needs to stop already! I can’t tell you how many phone numbers or email addresses I’ve had to tear up on napkins! And I feel bad because napkins aren’t there for that purpose...plus they’re kinda hard to tear. Oh and I hate whenever we’re out of food because we should never be out of food. Or, or when Jade puts coffee priority over cookies because let’s face it, I think we can agree that we’d rather have cookies than a cup of coffee, just because it’s classed as a necessity in her mind that means cookies aren’t in mind. And I -

*Jade pushes open the door*  What is going on here?  

*Tori looks up from the camera*  I’m making a What I Hate Segment. 

JADE: You? Hating? Oh please, I bet you only mentioned food and boobs.  TORI: I only mentioned food twice and I didn’t even mention boobs.  ... I hate being without Jade’s boobs!

JADE: We’re done here. 

-beep- 

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

JUpdate!

TORI: Hey, hey Tumblers!  Tori here with a little JUpdate ;{) I’ve called it JUpdate because it’s like saying Just an Update or Jori Update. JUpdate!  JADE: For the record, I did not approve the name. I was happy to leave you all in the dark but Vega insisted you needed to know about our lives. TORI: So here’s your JUpdate! Jade was offered another management job with Jet Brew but she turned it down because she didn’t like the new location.  JADE: It was in Kansas . No one goes to Kansas. It’s like the Denny’s of America. You don’t GO to Denny’s you END UP at Denny’s...no offense. 

TORI: And I’ve recorded my first demo and submitted it to Mason Thornsmith! I don’t know when he’ll get around to listening to it...or if he ever will but fingers and toes crossed! 

JADE: Meanwhile Cat is thinking about fashion colleges, Sam refuses to do anything, Andre is trying to record his own music, Beck’s in Canada on a hiking trip, no one cares about Trina, and Robbie is still...Robbie.

TORI: Oh and Jade and I are still crazy in love. 

JADE: That’s never gonna change.

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

JADE VEGA UPLOADED A PHOTO TO THESLAP.  This is the last time I let my wife make dinner. Kinda wanna eat it though.  #youcan’tleaveheralonefor5minutes. #vomitingrainbow

Tori Vega commented: but our normal pasta looked so dull and boring! This is so awesome! Like a kid’s art project or that fun play-doughy stuff!  Jade Vega replied: Yes...because ‘play-doughy’ is a word I want associated with something I’m gonna eat. Jade Vega added: I’m ordering a pizza.

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

Texting Jade

TORI: Baby! Since you're at the store, can you pick me up some washing up soap?

JADE: What do you need washing up soap for? We did the laundry yesterday.

TORI: I forgot to wash my bras...

JADE: Kay. Won't need much soap for that. I'll pick up a small one.

TORI: Thanks!

TORI: HEY!

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

TORI VEGA UPLOADED A PHOTO TO THESLAP.  “Love put your records on, tell me your favorite song.”

Jade Vega commented: Vega, the sign said: do not touch the antiques. So what do YOU do!? #whyimarriedyou.

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

Tori-Vega TheSlap Status Update

@JadeVega. WHERE ARE YOU, JADELYN??? I WILL FIND YOU!!! 

Mood: Furious.

Jade Vega commented: You gotta admit that was funny. Tori Vega replied: No! Slipping your nudes into my notes is not funny! Jade Vega replied: Oh c’mon. I only put in one. I bet no one even noticed when you gave the presentation.  Tori Vega replied: I said “the molecular structure of the boobs.” OUT LOUD!  Tori Vega added: Out loud, Jade! 

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

JADE VEGA UPLOADED A PHOTO TO THESLAP Decided to turn on the TV and they were doing an interview for Victoria Justice. @ToriVega, look at the screenshot they decided to use! #creepyhugger. 

Tori Vega commented: Aww... just seconds before you crushed my spine.  Jade Vega replied: Good times.

[jadeandtorimakeablog]

Tori-Vega TheSlap Status Update.

#lateaprilfools! I replaced a canister of air freshener with shrimp scent spray. So Jade spent the whole day yesterday yelling in confusion: WHY DOES EVERYTHING SMELL LIKE SHRIMP!??

Mood: Pranky.

Jade Vega commented: #lateaprilfools! I sprayed the rest into your purse.