Helloo!! Apologies for the lateness on fics! Having some personal problems but will be aiming to get everything sorted. So expect all grown up chapter 2 soon!
Warning's: mention of spouse death? Self worth issues. sexual tension. thigh riding. light praise. Biting and leaving teeth marks. Refer to series masterlist for full series warnings.
โI can't see,โ you groan out, your eyes heavy from the night before. A night of heavy drinking and questionable acts with your friends seems good at first. The morning after always becoming a chore. But it was worth it- in the grand scheme of things.ย
โWhat the fuck do you mean you canโt see,โ Your best friend groaned from the floor. You grunt as you pull yourself over slightly to look down from the sofa.ย
โWhat are you doing on the floor Jisung.โ You meant it as a question, but ended up coming out more as a statement.ย
Jisung looked as rough as you felt, you were sure heโd say the same. โYou shoved me off the couch, so I just stayed here,โ he said, sitting up as he recuperates himself. Rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.ย
โWhy didn't I sleep in my bed,โ you ask, swinging your legs over Jisung. His arms automatically latch onto them.ย
โBecause, my dear friend,โ he said, resting his chin on your knee as he looked up at you, โyou wanted to cuddleโ
You roll your eyes, โLiarโ you stand up, pushing Jisung off you, reaching your arms out, letting out a loud groan as you stretch.ย
Almost as if it was planned, a crash was heard from the hallway. You look back down at Jisung, both your eyes wide with shock.ย
Of course noises werenโt scarce here. You lived in an apartment complex in the upper east side of New York. You could hear all sorts from up here, loud tenants from below you, or the occasional noises from your neighbor from the other penthouse suite.ย
โMaybe Andrea left a few things?โ Jisung guessed, now standing up from his makeshift bed on the floor.ย
Andrea was a model who lived in the other penthouse. She had moved out around a week ago, and there were a few noises from her then, so it was a completely reasonable thought that it could be her.ย
โGo have a look!โ You say, shoving Jisung towards the door, much to his distaste, there was no way in hell you were going to open up the door and have a look. So Jisung was the next best option.
โWhat the hell do you want me to do?โ He looks back at you, he looks just as nervous as you. You were both way too hungover for anything remotely this anxiety-inducing.
โGo, and have a look!!โ You repeat, pushing him closer to the door.
โAnd then what?! Want me to fight them?โย
โNo justโฆJUST LOOK!!โ
โBut I donโt want to!โ
โJust open the door Jisung!โ
He huffs in response, begrudgingly walking towards the door. Pausing to pick up the dustpan brush from the side table. โJust in case,โ he tells you.
โWhatโs the brush going to do?โ You whisper, lurking behind him as he opens the door.
โChris??โย
โNo way-โ
Jisungโs posture relaxed, so you slowly peered over his shoulder to look also.
There he was, Chris. You werenโt too sure if it was the same Chris you assumed him to be. You knew Jisung had a cousin called Chris. You had met him on many occasions. But when you all were kids. Making him play with your Bratz dolls or pretending you were interested in his bop-it. But the memory of Chris was a skinny short kid with glasses with a horrible sense of style and an addiction to collecting match attacks. But this Chris, standing at your door, was not skinny. With no glasses to be seen, his compression top concealed little to none of his muscles. Barrel chested with abs showing just enough for you to stare a little too long. Grey sweats hanging loosely at his hips.ย
โWait, cousin Chris?โ You whisper, staring at the man at your front door alongside Jisung.
โWhat the hell are you doing here man?โ Jisung walked over to him, bringing Chris into a hug. You stay standing in the doorway as you watch them. Squinting your eyes slightly as you watch them, trying to analyze Chris to see if there was anything about him you thought was familiar. But if he was the same cousin, Chris, he seriously grew up.ย
Chris opens his eyes and glues them to yours as he pulls away from the hug with Jisung.ย
โCousin Chris?โ You repeat, still standing behind them.
โYes!โ He replied, pulling your arm around so you were standing beside him. โDo you remember each other?โย
Chris stood there for a short while, frowning as he analyzed you. His eyes ran down your body, and then finally your face. And you made eye contact again. His lips turned into a playful smile. He knew you. โNo way thatโs herโ There was something about him. Something about the way he looked at you. You couldnโt put your finger on it.
โYep, I know, she grew upโ Jisung chuckles, ruffling your hair. Causing you to glare at him, you were only a month younger than him. He was doing this to be funny in front of his cousin.
โAnd you fucking didnโtโ you glare up at him. You enjoyed banter of course, but you were in front of someone you hadnโt seen in over a decade, so Christ was basically a whole new person you were meeting.
โNothing new thenโ he smirked, keeping his eyes on you, his playfulness was telling. He was charismatic, thatโs for sure.
Jisung frowned at Chris, not looking to please with the side he chose to back, โSo what are you doing here exactly?โย
โWe just bought this bad boy,โ Chris replies, motioning to the penthouse across from you.
We.ย
โwhich means weโre neighbors, little cousinโ Chris adds, looking away from you finally.
You shake your head โOh no Ji doesnโt live with meโย
Though you did sometimes wish he did live with you, to help you with groceries, rent and well, all the bills really, but in the grand scheme of things, having a roommate would be a terrible idea.
โYeah no, Iโm still living with Jeongin, have been since collegeโ Jisung added, looking up and down the hallway, โwhereโs Vanessa?โ
You felt your heart sink a little. You werenโt sure why. You didnโt like Chris or anything. You wouldnโt lie and say he wasnโt attractive. The man was practically built by some higher power. But you had just guessed it was the shameless hope that Chris living right next to you would mean you could spend some time catching up, without worrying about a jealous girlfriend.ย
โSheโs at the babysitter's house for tonight, I thought it would be easier than making her tag along whilst I set up the apartmentโ
โYou have a child?!โ You gasp, probably looking way more shocked than you wanted to. But you were shocked. Painfully so. That means Chris has a long-term partner, even worse for jealousy.
โYeah, with my wife, she just turned fiveโ he beamed, beginning to tell you all about how sheโs getting on at nursery, it seemed she was a budding artist by the sounds of things. A lover of music, more so when Chris played for her. He told you that most nights she requests a song on the guitar instead of a book. And- โshe still hasnโt processed Oliviaโs deathโย
Your face saddened, your eyes watching his, but he was just focused on Jisung. Which made sense, he was his cousin, after all, you have been a stranger until now. He wasnโt confiding in you. But he had a wife, he was a widow. You couldnโt remotely imagine his pain.ย
โIs it that she hasnโt processed it, or she doesnโt understandโ Jisung spoke gently now, but you clear your throat, interrupting the heavy conversation.ย
โLook, why donโt you come in Chrisโ you suggest, opening your front door wider, โsaves people listening and you two can talk whilst I showerโย
Chris nods, following you and Jisung back into your apartment. โMake yourself at homeโ you smile, โIโll be in the shower if you need me, Jiโย
You walk towards your bedroom, then into your adjacent bathroom. You were still processing everything, not entirely sure you could process it all.ย
You groan, reaching over to turn the shower on to let it run hot.ย You were still extremely hungover. The fact that Chris was moving in across from you. That Chris had a wife, has a child?! Was borderline insanity for you.ย
-
โJisung!!โ You scream out for him, no answer.
Frustrated, you walk towards your bedroom door, water dripping from your bare body onto the floor. โJisung! Please, thereโs no towel in my bathroom!โ You call out again. It was impossible for him to not hear you. The walls werenโt that thick.ย
โWhere are they?โย
That wasnโt Jisung.
โy/n, where are the towels?โ You could hear in his voice he was holding back a laugh.
โChris?โ You ask, of course, your luck landed you right where you didnโt want to be. โWhereโs Ji?โย
โHe went down to get the drinks from the Uber Eats personโ he replies, sounding closer to the door than youโd like.ย
โFuck sakeโ you mutter to yourself, โwould you mind going into the laundry room to grab me a towel please?โ You ask, looking down at the small wet patch on the floor your dripping body had formed. Your head pressed against your door in embarrassment.
โYeah, sure thingโ You hear his steps gradually getting further, but soon enough they are coming back, โwhere is that by the way?โย
โThe room right at the end of the hallwayโ
โOn itโ
After a few minutes you hear a knock at your door, โThank You! Just leave it on the floor!โย
You hear a chuckle, โAre you sure?โ
โYes, Chris im sureโ you scoff, waiting to hear his footsteps draw away from the door once more. When you're sure heโs gone, you quickly open your bedroom door, grabbing the towel from the floor. โThanks!โ You call down to him, seeing a thumbs-up pop around the corner of the hallway. Being too quick to shut the door after yourself.
You return to the lounge once you have dried and dressed. Sweats and a tank top.. Jisung had also returned whilst you were busy dressing. Your americano sat on the coffee table.ย
โThanks, Jiโ you smile, sitting cross-legged on your couch. Despite the warm shower, you still felt gross. You hoped youโd feel more alive after the caffeine.ย
You stay in silence as the cousins catch up. It was nice seeing them like this, chatting away, even though it was in your apartment.
You knew Jisung had missed Chris, he brought him up now and again. Moments like when you and Jisung were 9 years old, forcing 12-year-old Chris to play with your toys. When all he wanted to do was hang out with his friends. Or Chris pushing Jisung into his pool, forgetting he couldnโt swim. All the while, you admired this older kid from a short distance. As you were growing up, you had a huge crush on Chris. He was older, had an accent (still does) and was the kind of guy you crush on because heโs so out of your reach.ย
You flinch, feeling an elbow in your side, โdude, stop staring into spaceโ
โI feel gross, let me do what I wantโ You stare at Jisung, scrunching your face up.ย
You receive a scowl from him. He looked rough too. He probably, No definitely, needed a shower also. His brown locks had curled up at the ends. Now that you had seen Chris, you were pretty sure curls ran in the family. Though Jisungโs only ever showed when he hadnโt washed his hair in a few days.ย
โI should probably get back to moving my stuff in from the vanโ Chris announced after a few more minutes of catching up with Jisung, slapping his hands against his thighs before he stood up, โcare to help me?โ His eyes scrolled over you despite his question being directed to Jisung.
โNot reallyโย
You had the sudden urge to offer instead. You wanted to spend time with Chris, to get to know him all over again. It was obvious he wanted that too, right? You clear your throat, standing up. โIโll helpโ you decide, looking at Jisung, โbecause you need to showerโ
You exit your apartment with Chris, leaving Jisung to shower in peace. You were sure to remind him to bring a towel with him. Despite him not needing to worry about anyone seeing his ass.ย
The van was parked pretty close to the entrance, though now that you were down here, looking inside the van at the large couch, bed and kitchen appliances. You regretted the decision to help. The furniture was bland and white, with no colour palette at all. The only colour is the huge pink dollhouse right at the back of the van. It was positively depressing. He probably didn't have any plans to paint his walls either. He and his daughter were living in a paper world.ย ย
โSee, there's not a lotโ his voice breaks the silence, patting you on your shoulder before holding the side of the van and jumping up into it.ย
โOf colour?โ you stare up at him, still shocked at the boring load, โAre you allergic to colour Chris?โ
He laughs.ย
His laugh is gorgeous. His eyes curve into the most beautiful eye smile and his dimples. His fucking dimples. You want to kiss him as he smiles, you want to make him laugh more. Be the only reason he smiles.ย
No. You mentally shake your head at yourself. This was just the residue of a childhood crush. He was a widow, with a child, probably just trying to start afresh. He didn't need you fantasizing over him.
โGet up hereโ he offers you his right hand. You clear your throat before taking his hand. Jumping up into the van with him. Almost sending you flying into the mattress. He places his hands on your shoulders to steady you, so you don't go flying. He had a lot of arm strength. More than you thought he had anyway. You weren't exactly short, you and Chris were around the same height, he was maybe one inch or so taller than you. Standing right in front of him now, just confirmed it. Physically you were almost equal heights, but you felt incredibly small next to him. He carried himself as though he was 6โ5.
โYouโre alrightโ he cooed.ย
โYeah, wellโ you shrug his hands off your shoulders, planning to attempt to move the couch, โdonโt try and javelin me in the futureโ
After a very drawn-out 45 minutes, the remaining furniture had been placed into the apartment. Granted it wasnโt neat, but you didnโt sign up for a move around. You lean against the couch, watching Chris as he grabbed you both some bottled water from the cooler. And thank god for his offering because you felt as though you were on the brink of dehydrationย
โCatchโย
You barely manage to reach far enough to clasp onto the bottle. Nodding your head as a Thankyou before taking a large gulp.ย
โDo you mind if I quickly change my top before we get the last bits?โ
You almost choke on the mouthful of water, โthereโs more?!โย
You offered to help with that load because you believed that was the last load. But now there was another load, and what if there was another load after that, and another, youโd be loaded out.ย
โJust a few little bits, I promise not that much, mostly light stuff!โ He says, lifting a box onto the white kitchen island, in his white open-plan kitchen. Too much white.
โIf itโs all light stuff, why do you need me?โ You didnโt mean to be rude, but it was a valid question. Why did he need you to help him with the remaining light weighted stuff? And why the hell was he taking off his shirt-
You watch him in awe. He had turned to the side, you guessed in an attempt to conceal his body, but it wasnโt doing anything. You could very clearly, very easily see every single cut and groove. Almost certain that he was crafted with a Greek god in mind.ย The muscles on his back moved with such grace as he fully removed the shirt. He had completely stolen your eye contact and you wanted it back before you started drooling.ย
โDonโt be such a pervโย
โOh, I wasnโt-โ
โReally?โ He asked, making his way towards you as he pulled on a white vest. โ โcause it looked like you wereโ
You hold your hand up, standing to face him โDid you want my help or not?โย
โSince you offeredโ he smirks, knowing full well he trapped you into sounding like you had offered to help. He still had remnants of his 12-year-old self, and you liked that.
-
It had been a week since Chris had moved in.ย
You hadnโt seen him in a while either, sometimes youโd cross paths on the way in or out of the complex. But he never stopped to talk to you. The first few times it had you stumped, thinking you had done something. Replaying the time you spent with him but you couldnโt pinpoint anything. So you whittled it down to him being in a rush.ย
So here you were, curled up on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket with criminal minds playing on the tv. Half eaten pizza sitting in its box on the side.ย
Your eyes are heavy, you should really get to bed before you fall asleep on the couch for the second time this week. But you body just doesnโt want to move.ย
Knock Knock
You jolt up, checking the time on your phone.ย
10:35pm.
โWhat the fuck, who the fuck, why the fuckโ you mutter as you stand, wrapping your blanket around you. Planning on peeping through the hole first.ย
โItโs Chrisโ you hear him outside the door before you get a chance to look, announcing himself, knocking twice more.ย
You pause, even questioning if you should open the door to him. Wanting to desperately be rude, just like he had been. Though lucky for him, you werenโt a jerk.ย
You swing the door open, โwhat do you wantโ you snap immediately. Causing Chris to look taken aback. You figured he deserved a bit of jerkiness.
โSorry, I know itโs lateโ he starts, peering inside your apartment slightly, relaxing shortly after. โI just, I needed your helpโ he asked with a sigh, his eyebrows softening as he looked at you.ย
You werenโt sure whether to laugh or cry. He ignores you for a week. Then shows up at your door asking for your help? It was positively laughable.ย
โAre you a freeloader Chris?โ You ask bluntly.
โWhat? No, I just, please, justโ he pauses to look back at his apartment, โplease just get dressed and come to mineโ
You blink at him, what earth does this man live on? What happened to the Chris you helped last Wednesday? You couldnโt even believe what he was actually doing. He really made his way to your apartment, knocked on your door at 10:30pm and instructed you to get dressed and go over to his. How the hell did he think that all through and still think it was acceptable?ย
โI wouldnโt ask if I seriously didnโt need your helpโ
You still stay quiet, just watching him.
โFineโ you roll your eyes, pulling the blanket off and throwing it over to your couch. If he needed your help this bad, you refused to change out of the comfort of your pyjama shorts and sweatshirt.ย
You grab your keys and walk out with him. Locking your door behind you.ย
He leads you into his apartment, other than dead silence, you could hear the distant sound of cries.ย
โItโs Vanessa, sheโs upset about her motherโ he tells you, continuing to lead you through the apartment. Stopping outside the door that had pink letters stuck over it spelling out โNessieโ
You donโt say anything at first, just looking up at him, his eyes spoke a million more words then his mouth ever could. He was scared, clueless maybe, Lost definitely, heโs grieving and was struggling to help his daughter grieve also.
โOkayโ you agree, without really needing him to ask you.ย
His eyes softened, becoming teary eyed. Relief.ย
โGet us a drink, let me try and talk to her, she doesnโt know me so it might help having a woman come and speak to herโ you sigh, placing a hand on his upper arm, attempting to reassure him.ย
โThankyou, Iโm sorry for-โ
โDonโt, just get drinks ready, come in after, yeah?โย
He nods and heads toward the kitchen.ย
You turn to the door, reaching for the handle, taking a deep breath before entering.ย
โVanessa?โ You whisper, looking into her room, being sure to leave the door open so Chris could hear and see everything going on.ย
You couldnโt see her at first, the room being filled with pink made it tricky, everything blended in together. But a small head poked out from behind the dolls house, small dark eyes staring back at you. In any other situation, this would be the kinda thing you see and run from. But given the situation, your heart ached.ย
โHey sweetieโ you slowly take a few steps forward, being careful not to make her feel scared. โIโm your daddyโs friend, y/nโย
โHiโฆโ she whispers back, staying in her safe place. Still watching you.ย
โHeโs told me a lot about you!โ Kneeling down in front of the dolls house, she had dark brown hair, it was messy. Strands of hair falling in front of her face, sticking to her cheeks from the tears. You didnโt know the first thing about children really. But surely it wasnโt hard. Right?ย
โAre you my daddyโs new girlfriend?โ She whispered.
The question staggered you. The obvious answer was, โnoโ but you didnโt want to say that in case that was something she wanted to hear.ย
โWell, Iโm his friend, and a girl..โ you start, slowly moving the doll's house towards you. Allowing space for Vanessa to move if she wanted. โSo I guess you could say that. Do you have a friend thatโs a girl?โย
She looks at you, her sniffling had stopped, โI donโt like boy-friends, they smellโย
You laugh softly, she had chirped up a bit from just simply distracting her. โIโm sure your daddy would be pleased to hear thatโ once she had moved from behind the dolls house, she sat in front of you.ย
โI had a best friend, who was a girl,โ she continued, her small fingers pulling at a loose thread in her sock. โMaisie, she was the bestest friend ever. But she lives in Australia..โ she whispers, lowering her head once more, you could just about see her bottom lip quivering.ย
โIโm sure youโll find new friends here!โ You start, now properly sitting down opposite her, crossing your legs to match her position. โI can be your first friend if youโd like?โ You suggest, watching as she looks back up at you. Her expression was puzzling, she was unsure of what to make of you. Granted you were a strange woman who just asked a five year old to be her friend. You were unsure of what to make of yourself at this moment in time.ย
โReally? But wonโt daddy be angry?โย
You frown, curious as to why sheโd ask that. โWhy would he be angry?โ
โBecause he always tries to, to make sure he doesnโt see youโย
โAhemโ
The both of you turn around at the sound of Chris announcing himself at the bedroom door. โYou met y/n? What do you think Nessie?โ He asked, sitting on the edge of her bed, patting his knee so she could climb up.ย
โI love her, she said she will be my friend!โย
He chuckled, looking down at you, โI guess weโll be seeing her a lot more then hmm?โย
As if it were planned, Vanessa looks down at you too, both of them smiling at you. โI mean, Iโm busy on weekdays but I can make time for my new best friend!โ You smile at her, ignore Chrisโ stare, desperate to ask him what Vanessa meant.ย
After a few moments of you pacing around chrisโ living room. Debating on ditching and running back to jump into your own bed. Chris came back from putting Vanessa to sleep. The closing of her bedroom door caught your attention rather abruptly.ย
You looked over to him, โChris..โย
โYou havenโt touched your drinkโ
You glance at the full mug of coffee on the counter top. You honestly had forgotten about it, but you also just really wanted to leave.ย
โI just thought it was best to leaveโ you motion to the door.
It felt awkward, you had questions, but it wasnโt the right time. Only now you have processed what a mess Chris looked. Not a dirty mess, an emotional mess. His hair curlier and messier than usual, a black tank top with what looked like baked beans spilt down it. Perhaps from trying to get Vanessa to eat her dinner. You glance over at the sink and see piled up dishes. Heโd only been living here a week. How did things seem so out of place already? How long ago did he lose his wife? How long had he been feeling like this? Pity began to brew inside you.
โBut I can stay for a bit if you want?โ You suggest, coming to the decision to clean his dishes and sit with him, perhaps he just needed another adult to talk too.ย
โThat would mean a lot, Thankyouโ he smiles. He has a nice smile. โIโll make you a fresh cup if you want?โย
โIโd prefer something coldโ you say, walking with him into the kitchen. He nods, opening the fridge.
โI have orange juice, apple juice, Fanta and Pepsiโ he offers, โoh and obviously waterโย
โSurprise meโ you say leaning on the counter opposite the sink. The dishes staring right back at you. โIโll do your dishes as a Thankyouโ
You catch him glance at you from the fridge, most likely to say no, but hopefully he realised it wasnโt worth his time.
โSo Vanessa mentioned you didnโt want to see meโ you blurted out, placing a bowl onto the drying rack. You hear his breath hitch slightly. But you donโt say anything.ย
โSheโs not a good secret keeper my Nessie.โ He sighed, screwing the lid on the drink, returning it to the fridge. โIโve been on edge since we quote on quote, reunitedโย
You pause mid cleaning of a plate. Biting your bottom lip nervously. โWhat do you have to be on edge about?โ You reply after a few seconds, continuing your washing up. You turn slightly to watch him out of the corner of your eye. Spotting that he had pooped you both some apple juice. Your favourite. He couldnโt have possibly remembered that it was your favourite, but the thought of him remembering gave you a warm feeling in the pit of your stomach.
โItโs been over a decade since the last time I had seen you, I think itโs fair to assume weโd both be a bit nervous,โ he says, reaching his hands towards yours, wrapping his fingers around your wrists. Pulling them out of the sink.
โChris what are you-โ
โYouโve done plenty for me, come sit in the other roomโ he holds both your wrists together with one hand over the sink, reaching below you to grab the tea towel hanging from the cupboard. Wrapping it around your hands. You felt as though you couldnโt breathe whilst he did this. He was being so gentle, so kind. The bare minimum and you were practically swooning already. Mentally telling yourself off as you pull your hands away gently, drying them.ย
โOkay, sure, we can do thatโย
You sat cross legged on his couch, facing him, taking a sip glass of apple juice whilst he laughed.
โYou know I never found that Pokรฉmon card, I was distraught for weeks once we movedโ
You swallow your drink before you spit it out by laughing. โI was distraught when you left!โ You laugh, he laughs with you but it was a funny laugh, more of a sad laugh.ย
โI wanted to say goodbye, you were one of my favourite friendsโ he sighs, placing his hand against your ankle. โBut my mum and dad wanted to be gone as soon as possible, I didnโt even have time to say goodbye to jisungโย
โI mean, 9 year old me was going through the five stages of grief, my crush had moved awayโ you laugh, noticing how his eyes glazed over when you had mentioned the crush. โWhat is it?โ
โYou had a crush on me?โ He pulled a smile.
โYeah, I did, could you blame me? You were a cute kidโย
โI had glasses and early acneโย
โWhilst acne still doesnโt bother meโ you start, admiring the way he looked whilst listening to you, โglasses still do it for meโ
He cocks his eyebrow, leaning over the arm of the couch, returning back with glasses in his hands, โI still wear them, seeโ
โLooking good Christopherโ you laugh as he places them on. โSo you have contacts too?โย
He shakes his head, โnah, my eyesight isnโt terribly bad, I only really need glasses for reading, my mum just made me wear them all the time just incaseโย
You watch as he removes them, his hand falling back onto your ankle, but slightly higher up this time. You look up to him. The static of attraction was so unbearable. For you anyway, you were unsure if he was feeling the same. Thought the hand on your lower leg said enough.ย
He sucks his teeth. Thumb rubbing gently against your leg, his eyes watching his own movement. You shift slightly, making sure to keep your thighs squeezed together. The light touch of his fingers pressed against your leg produced a tingling sensation in between your legs. You should probably leave right? You're definitely just sexually frustrated.ย
โSo this crush you hadโ he finally says. Eyes piercing into you as he leaned back, leaning his head on the back of the sofa, eyes hungry.ย
โWhat about it?โ You question, eyes darting down once you feel his hand start to ride up towards your knee.ย
โDonโt look at my hand, look at meโย
You immediately snap your eyes up to him. His hand continues to move upwards, but at a painfully slow pace. Clearly the attraction was mutual.ย
โDoes it still apply?โ He asked, his voice hoarse. Hand now on your thigh, teasing the rim of your shorts. You look down to his hand for a brief second. Noticing your thighs had separated again somewhere between now and a few moments ago.ย
Your brain was starting to get fuzzy, all your focus on him. You felt as though you were surrounded by him on all sides, his touch lit you on fire. You were about to answer him but your words died on your tongue. Only able to provide a nod.ย
Within seconds he had pulled you onto his lap, his hands finding his way up your sweatshirt, running up your back, You looked down at him with curious eyes. Your fingers brushing against his shoulders. His arms link up together behind your back, pulling you closer. Your hands making their way to his hair.ย
Your faces are inches away from each other, breath heavy and hot.
โChrisโ
โy/nโ
As if you were almost in sync, your lips met hungrily. Sloppy, desperate, needy. It wasnโt beautiful, it was fucking disgraceful. The way your hands were fumbling to remove his shirt. The way his lips didnโt want to part when his top and your sweatshirt were removed. Leaving him shirtless in sweats and you bare chested in shorts.ย
โYouโre okay with this?โ He asked between sloppy kisses against your neck, his hands careful not to touch your breasts until he heard you say something.
โMhmโ a moan as a response, hands tugging lightly at his hair.
โWords pleaseโย
โYes, Chris, yesโ you mumble.ย
Gently, his fingers of his right hand caress down your back, tips finding their way under your waist band before the pads dig into your flesh. A low groan leaves him as his hands squeeze your hips. The left hand pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers. The feeling burned a small smile of excitement into your face. Continuing his movements, Chris stroked your skin before returning to a squeeze, but not releasing his hold this time. Instead, using it to rock your hips backward, the sudden pressure against your clit sends a rush through your body. A whimper slipping past your lips without your control.ย
โQuiet, no soundโ he whispers, Pressing a kiss to your neck, you shudder at the warmth of his breath and although you couldn't see it, Chris was definitely smirking. Ignoring it and him, you rocked your hips again, rougher this time. Biting back a moan as the rush returned. Your face fell into the crook of his neck, sucking and biting at his skin to stop yourself from moaning.
He grunts lowly as he continues to move your hips back and forth against his thigh. The layers between your skin and his thigh quickly built friction. Your clothed clit twitching with desperation to feel his thigh fully. You bite down harder against his skin, earning a groan from him, his fingers digging into your skin deeper. Your fingers found their way into his hair pulling and tugging at his scalp. His lips and tongue find their way to your shoulder. His mouth is immediate, sucking and biting your skin. Wanting more than just the mess between your legs and wobble of your walk to be proof of his work.ย
It was desperation. Both quiet as anything. Biting at each other's skin. You, desperate for a release. Chris, desperate to make you cum. Still unsure how you both ended up in the situation.ย
"Nggh-Chrisโ You whispered into his neck, shaking as your orgasm approached.
"Already?" He questioned you with a low rasp to his voice. "Gunna cum on my thigh?โ
Heat rose to your cheeks, you were. You were about cum on his thigh and you were going to enjoy the fuck out of it.ย
His grip tightened, nails digging into your skin as he assisted your hips to speed up. His lips met yours, silencing the beautiful noises you were making. In an instant, all the friction you'd built-up came tumbling down as your orgasm took over your body. You took your time, overindulging it. Tightly closing your eyes, moving to bite down onto his shoulder again.ย
By now, he could feel the wet patch on his thigh getting bigger and he couldn't help but lick his lips with a smile. His hand moved up your back and to your hair, pulling your head back, so he could watch your face as you came down from your highs, his cock tight against his own clothes. You could barely hear the coo of praises he gave you as your heart pumped in your ears and your body relaxed into his chest. "Good girl,โ he hummed and you shivered as Chris carefully laid you back on the couch.
You rest your arm over your eyes as the realisation of what just happened washes over you. Jolting up to a sitting position to stare at Chris. Eyes looking down to his leg, the obvious outline of his boner added to the large wet patch on his thigh. You then feel between your legs and feel the wet patch. That was the first ever time you had squirted. And it happened from riding a fucking thigh. You jumped up front the couch, grabbing your sweatshirt from the floor, pulling it on.
โI uh, I need to get back, have a shower or somethingโ
โShower or something?โ
โThis was fun!โ
Before Chris could object you practically ran out of his apartment and straight into yours. Heart racing ten to a dozen. Slamming the door shut and leaning against it.ย
Genre: ex childhood friends to lovers / bestfriends cousin!chan / slow burn!! Fluff, smut, angst.
18+ only!!
WARNINGS! Adult themes, unprotected piv. (Use a condom noobs) graphic writing of sex like Iโm talking hard, dirty, disgusting sex, flawed characters, alcohol & drug use, mutual fantasizing, mutual pining, jealousy, strong language, explicit sexual content, slight corruption kink, many, many kinks(all consensual donโt fret!) , cheating, toxicity, semi stalker-ish vibes?
Summary:
A new neighbour is moving in opposite you.
How do you know this? The crashing of furniture scares the living shit out of you and your best friend, Jisung. Turns out to he knows this neighbour? Wait itโs his cousin Chris. The same Chris you used to force to play with you and your bratz dolls. The same Chris you had a killer crush on. The same Chris that left without saying goodbye 13 years ago.
Heโs 25 now, a song writer who works on motorcycles in his spare time. And god doesnโt he look good. No, heโs your best friends cousin. Heโs off limits. Unacceptable. Taboo.
But the way he looks at you is Taboo. The way his hand grazes your hips when he walks past you is Taboo. The way he eye fucks you across the room, in front of jisung. Is Taboo. The way he holds you in front of the mirror as he-
All grown up - coming soon [September]
Series Masterlist;
Chapter one: [soon]
To be added to the taglist; either fill this out; TAGLIST, or comment/ send ask !
Genre: ex childhood friends to lovers / bestfriends cousin!chan / slow burn!! Fluff, smut, angst.
18+ only!!
WARNINGS! Adult themes, unprotected piv. (Use a condom noobs) graphic writing of sex like Iโm talking hard, dirty, disgusting sex, flawed characters, alcohol & drug use, mutual fantasizing, mutual pining, jealousy, strong language, explicit sexual content, slight corruption kink, many, many kinks(all consensual donโt fret!) , cheating, toxicity, semi stalker-ish vibes?
Summary:
A new neighbour is moving in opposite you.
How do you know this? The crashing of furniture scares the living shit out of you and your best friend, Jisung. Turns out to he knows this neighbour? Wait itโs his cousin Chris. The same Chris you used to force to play with you and your bratz dolls. The same Chris you had a killer crush on. The same Chris that left without saying goodbye 13 years ago.
Heโs 25 now, a song writer who works on motorcycles in his spare time. And god doesnโt he look good. No, heโs your best friends cousin. Heโs off limits. Unacceptable. Taboo.
But the way he looks at you is Taboo. The way his hand grazes your hips when he walks past you is Taboo. The way he eye fucks you across the room, in front of jisung. Is Taboo. The way he holds you in front of the mirror as he-
All grown up - coming soon [September]
Series Masterlist;
Chapter one
To be added to the taglist; either fill this out; TAGLIST, or comment/ send ask !
Summary: your best friend, Jisung treats you in the only way he believes you deserve.
Genre: Smut
Warnings: oral sex (F receiving) slight over stimulation. Jisung being cocky. Mentions of cheating. Praise kink. Sadistic jisung if you squint
Word count: 1.1k
Fic song: slumber party - Ashnikko
LIGHTLY edited
โFuck!!!โ
Your back arched in the most glorious of ways. Your body tingling with the kind of heat every sexually active human dreams of. Your knuckles white with tension as you fist the pillows
You look down to see your best friends face perfectly placed between your thighs.
Han Jisung. Your friend. Your best friend of 12 years. Was eating you out on your shared couch. But eating out was putting it lightly. He was devouring you. His tongue curls up and around your clit perfectly. His middle and ring finger, knuckle deep inside you, pumping against your g-spot. Hitting it almost every time. He was a god. A sex god. You had been friends for so long without knowing anything of what he could do. What he was capable of.
He pulls away for a short moment, his fingers still moving expertly inside of you. His eyes studying the way your face contorted in pleasure. โYou taste divineโ He purred. Giving the inside of your thigh small kisses, a small bite here and there as he reached over to the table, picking up the joint that laid there. You had placed it down just before Jisung had decided to eat the rich. Literally.
He lights it, bringing it to his lips, taking a long drag as he keeps his eyes on you. Your chest rising just as fast as it was falling. Small beads of sweat had formed across your forehead. Watching him dumbfounded how he could just stop to take a weed break. โJi-โ
He passes the joint to you โsmoke, you better finish it before I finish youโ he tells you bluntly.
You nod, mumbling a โyesโ, taking a long drag, exhaling as he lowers his head, his tongue meeting your cunt once more.
Jisung could never ever get sick of making you scream out to him. The way your thighs trembled, shaking uncontrollably as you squeezed his head between your thighs as he attacked your swollen clit.
Soon enough, you felt hot all over again. Struggling to focus on smoking the joint as he ordered. Taking a small puff before letting out a whimper from the pleasure, unable to take back the smoke. Your hand comes up to cover your face, letting out a much needed intense moan.
He glanced up to look at you and for a minute he paused again. "Don't hide your face." You silently nod and he reaches up to interlock your hand with his as he continues to stimulate you.
He keeps his eyes directly on yours, silently ordering you to do the same. He looked beautiful, like a perfect painting. The Glistening of his chin. The puffiness of his lips, all swollen and red from how he's licked you clean. The way he pulls your clit into his mouth by his teeth before releasing it. Your heart is beating faster. He releases your hand, using it to dig his nails down into your hip to keep you stuck to his tongue.
He's so good. So fucking good to you and the moment you imagine it...it hits you.
He was your bestfriend, fucking you dumb with his tongue. And you had a boyfriend.
โTell me Iโm better than Aaronโ He sounds sickly sweet now. He doesnโt need you to tell him that. He knows heโs better. The noises you make are loud and incoherent, and you feel your body being ripped apart by the cruel hands of the sadistic man before you. Something Aaron had never done. Jisung is your roommate, your best friend, you have told him everything. How your boyfriend canโt pleasure you the way you like. And in the eyes of Jisung, he canโt pleasure you the way you deserve.
Soon your screaming out, โFuck, Jisung!โ You discard the joint to the side, no longer to focus on it. Your hand now comes down to grip onto his hair, pulling it, yanking it as hard as you could. Your hips lifting, pushing your pussy harder against his face as he pushes you over the edge.
He pulls his mouth away, his fingers still working your cunt, but nowhere near enough to make you cum. โI said tell meโ He groans softly as his hand slaps down against your clit, making you body jolt from the sting of pleasure โIโm betterโ
You look back down to him with begging eyes, โyou're better than Aaronโ you respond, heart pounding, sweat dripping from your forehead. You were desperate. You needed this.
His lips wrap around your clit once more, small nips, his tongue swirling faster now, his fingers reach inside of you, in search of your g-spot again. โThere she isโ he moans when you scream out as his fingers curl against your spot.
"It's too much, in a good way;" you explain, your voice shaky and high pitched as you try to speak through the pleasure. Your words are even more breathless as your moans pick up, a sign of your orgasm coming back up again.
"Yeah? You like that love?" he coos, beginning to move his tongue around your throbbing clit once more. The stimulation of it all sends you into a frenzy. Your moans picking up as you try to close your legs around his face.
"That's it, darling. Cumโ he praises, keeping his fingers deep inside you, working you through your orgasm until you push him away from the overstimulation. Aftershocks wrack your body in small waves, your dripping cunt just fluttering around nothing.
"Was that good?" he teases as he watches your chest heave, a chuckle falling from his lips when you just whine and nod, thighs still pressed together tightly.
"Yes, it was really good," you sigh loudly, trying to catch your breath.
โI can tell angel," he chuckles, beginning to massage your thighs as he sits up. Placing a small kiss on your knee.
โWe canโt tell anyoneโ you mumble, still recovering from being fucked out just by his mouth and fingers.
โWise of you to think Iโll let you go back to himโ he smiles down at you. Standing up so he could pick you up. โYour mine nowโ
Summary: just a thought I had a day or so ago for Chris. But had no way to input it into a fic. Maybe Iโll do a similar thing at for one eventually 0-0. Enjoy~
Genre: suggestive (no actual smut)
Warnings: none, just suggestive, 18+ ideally.
Word count: 500 give or take.
LIGHTLY edited
โI worship youโ
Chrisโ hands left a lustrous trail behind them as they glided down your bare skin. Fingertips leaving his mark along your waist. A mark that would be Unseen to the naked eye. Because it was his mark, his personal touch upon your bare body, you were his. Not as an object. No. But you belonged to him, in every way possible, and he made sure you knew just how much he truly adored you at every chance he got.
Earlier, A quiet dinner out with some of chrisโ friends. A gentle touch upon your thigh, not to be suggestive, just possessive. Making sure you knew who you belonged to. The burgundy bodycon dress hugged your desirable figure perfectly, almost too perfect. Any double glance someone made to you, you found Chrisโ hand against the small of your back, sometimes lower. Ghost kisses beneath your ear, followed by a whisper of compliments.
So irresistible, so beautiful, breathtaking. Your boyfriend is rushing you back home, no words spoken in the car. Words were not needed. The way his eyes danced around your neck, your shoulders. The way his breath caught in his throat when he noticed the rise of your chest when the cold air hit your body once you had exited the restaurant. The way your lips curved up into a pleasant smile when saying your farewells to jisung, Minho and Seungmin. The smile he knew meant nothing but happiness and sweetness. The way you glanced back at Chris when the three others had gone their separate ways home. Your eyes communicating just as much as his were. No words needed. You wanted him, he wanted you. And you had each other.
โMmm, show meโ you whisper, looking down at your boyfriend. His eyes looking up at you with such love and adoration. Chris was in no way the submissive in the relationship. Though, him being on his knees in front of you wasnโt a rare occurrence. He took every chance he could to show you how easily you could make him switch up.
His crisp white button up laid somewhere between the front door and the staircase. The blazer he had given you to cover your shoulders? In the kitchen. Your dress was half way off your body once you entered the bedroom. Now looking like a spilt glass of merlot at the foot of your bed. And to finish it off. Your exceptional black laced bra had been discarded beside Chris.
His hands stilled at your hips. Kneeling up to rest his forehead gently against your sternum. Delicate kisses peppering down your stomach. His palms running down with his lips. Stopping once more at your thighs. A final kiss being left just above your panty line. A small bow holding the tightness of the clothing. Like a perfectly packaged gift, just begging Chris to open it.
Your hand moved to his hair, playing with the loose curls. โDo somethingโ you whisper. Begging him almost. The romantic foreplay drives you insane. He knew this.
Chris smiles up at you, taking a deep breath as he lets his fingers dance up toward the perfectly tied bow. โThen let me show you, just how much I love youโ
And he did. He really did.
Please reblog if you liked this so it can reach others that like it! Much love ๐ฉท ~ Jaden
Nothing but the hum of a song long forgotten playing on the vinyl player from your shared bedroom. Not even the name is remembered, only the simple melody it provides as background aura.ย
The smell of warm vanilla and faint citrus fill the air, candles surrounding the bathtub admitting a soft light only romance novels could write. Except, itโs not on a page, it fills the present moment, consumes both parties.ย
Whispers of kisses trail slowly from one shoulder to the other, tracing nonsense into the flesh of your back as eyes flutter shut, enjoying the tranquility of each other's breathing, sounds and body warmth above the heat of the bubble mountained water.
Hands intertwining on thighs pressed together in the small but just right tub for the two bodies cuddled closely, enjoying the intimacy of the atmosphere with little to no words spoken.ย
Sometimes when you share the bath, the rain drizzles slowly down the window, or maybe itโll hit the panes with a force so harsh it drowns out the music. Either way, you both bask in its comfort, it's a welcoming sound that creates an ambience that only feels right shared with each other - no one else.ย
Because you are his, and he is yours. No one comes close, and the subtle clink of wine glasses, exchanged mutual laughter that spills from your lips, the way the goosebumps appear when fingers dance along sunkissed skin, daring to inch closer to where you would move to silken, snug sheets, exploring each others bodies like it was the first time all over again.
โBin..โ
โSay it again, say my name.โ
โChangbin..โ
No touch is unfamiliar, and welcomed with open arms, a warm, safe feeling. The trust in each other built over years of late night conversations, where only each other and the moon can hear. The whispers of love and affection that only grows deeper with each day spent together.ย
This bath in particular, that started at 12:38am, after the affinity spent after an evening of good food, a walk along the canal and back home to the familiarity of bodies, every freckle, mark and response to each touch. Each kiss, to the lips, the neck. The heart - a personal favourite that is always and never forgotten, followed with:
โMy heart, forever and always.โย
To the chest, breasts, arms. No portion of eitherโs bodies untouched by affection, by longing and need. Thereโs lust too, sure. But only longing and yearning for the person each other knows so well, so profoundly.ย
Torso, gripped with gentle but firm fingers, back arched off the bed as only things spoken in a confession box could be forgiven for, are performed like an act practiced for years. Because, he knows your body more than anyone else. Maybe even you, yourself too.ย
Emotions only spoken through actions, fingers intertwined on soft pillows, the rocking of the bed and mutual hums mixing together in a melody. Kisses shared not desperate, but sensually and knowingly. Faint touches lasting longer than usual, bodies fitting together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.
Sparks that only emit from the pure love and doting of each others chemistry, the pants and moans of longing, needing of one anotherโs attention filling the room - the smell of sex being the remains of the evening in the air.ย
The running of water in the bath fills the atmosphere, breaking the comfortable silence of breaths of recovery. Bubbles to hide the sins of what previously had been shared, the splashing of water dangerously threatening to spill over the sides as giggles of relief from the feeling of hot water calming muscles down.ย
Which brings us to now, where you both bask in the comfort once again of each other's bodies. Nothing sexual, but more yearning, his hands trailing your body in the usual maps drawn out in your skin. Your own wrapped around the one settled above your chest, hugging it close, as if he could leave you at any moment.ย
But, Changbin wouldnโt dream of that. Youโre his soulmate, his other half that completes him. Corny, but accurate enough to bypass any doubt you may have.
The words whispered not anything short of the absolute truth:
Summary: your a foreigner in Korea, after studying in Seoul to become a English teacher. You develop social anxiety, no longer aspire to be a teacher, or work in any public job. A job opportunity comes to work within JYPE as a social media manager, making sure the idols post things that wonโt cause scandals. But an idol you know, felix has gotten himself into a relationship scandal with fellow JYP idol Yuna. Management decided to damage control by asking you to become a fake partner of felix to take the heat from Yuna.
Genre: Angst
Warnings: strong language. No happy endings at all. Get tissues if your easily hurt by bad endings.
Word count: 7.8K
LIGHTLY edited
21st of January, 2023
Hey, the book that I write in, Today wasโฆ interestingโฆ
โYou want me to do what?โ
You had always been a very secretive person, very private. Not ever interested in being in the public eye or the center of attention. Never took the lift because of people, always took the stairs. So applying for a job in the back lines for the company JYP Entertainment seemed like a good idea at the time. Youโd be working more in the promotion side of things, behind the accounts for a few of the artists. Never needing to go out with the artists as staff. Just sat in the office controlling things from there.
And the first few months had been a breeze, you enjoyed your job! You had met a few of the artists around the building here and there, you were even an avid listener of a few of them.
Over the past couple of weeks, you had gotten more work focusing on the group, stray kids, Twitter, and Instagram accounts. Working in close contact with a few of the members with what photos they wanted to post and what to caption them. The guys did have most of the control when it came to it, you were there to make sure it appeared proper and kept their idol image intact.
One member in particular, whom you had worked with loads more than the others and gained a semi-good friendship with, was Bangchan. Though you called him Chris when you werenโt in professional settings. He spoke English fluently and was the friendliest idol you had come across. You had met a few other fluent speakers, but you werenโt that close with them, Chris made you feel like you didnโt have to be anyone you werenโt, and you appreciated that.
You were a foreigner, having moved to Seoul 5 years ago to study. Your ambition started as an English teacher. Though unfortunately, that fell through. Being in a new country with a language barrier made you anxious, so you started staying in more, only leaving for classes until you finished school and decided to work from home.
So you didnโt have much interaction with native speakers as much. Despite knowing a lot of the language, borderline fluent after your years of studying Korean back in England and continuing your studies in South Korea- you were not confident.
Today, the stray kidsโ manager called you in to discuss the next thing for you.
In recent events, Felix, a member you also had gotten to know recently was involved in a relationship scandal with fellow Jyp idol Yuna from Itzy. You werenโt too close with Yuna, but you were close to Lia and Ryujin, so you had already heard about this scandal.
โWe want you to act as a partner to Felix, you look nothing like Yuna, no one knows who you are, and youโd be perfect for this jobโ.
Ouch?
Sungho spoke without looking away from his laptop. You would have preferred he spoke to you directly; eye contact would have been nice.
โBut I didnโt sign up for this, this wasnโt in the job descriptionโ you start, rubbing your thumb against the skin of your other hand nervously, โI donโt think this is a wise choice, canโt you just wait for the rumours to die down?โ
He shakes his head โIโm sorry y/n, you are required to do this, or we will have to terminate your contract with usโ.
This was beyond fair, given either the choice to be a fake partner to Felix or be fired from the one job you wanted.
You were so sure so many others would be willing to do this, and you probably would have minded doing it either, Felix was beautiful and kind-hearted, but it involved being in the public eye. Which you didnโt want.
You swallow your discomfort, looking up at Sungho again โHow long would I need to do this?โ
He looked up at you briefly, checking his laptop again, humming when he finds the answer on the document that solidified your new, unwanted task. โRoughly a month, maybe two,โ he said once he looked back at you, โuntil the rumors die down, we canโt have two idol images tarnished, and youโll be helping with thatโ
You take a deep breath. Were you seriously considering this?
โYuna will be heading out with her false partner this evening also, weโre hoping this one night is enough to dial it all down, weโll just have to seeโ he continues, though it wasnโt making you feel any better about the situation the company was trying to put you in.
โYou get a pay riseโ he finally added, and in all fairness, it did make the offer seem more tempting, but you still werenโt happy about the ultimatum you were given.
โIf I say yes, when does this whole thing start?โ You ask.
โIf you say yes now, hair and makeup will prepare you when you leave my office, to prepare for a sighting of you and Felix later tonightโ
Your eyes widened tonight?
Perhaps the quicker you say yes, the quicker itโs over and you can go back behind the scenes.
โOkay, ill do itโ
ย -5 hours laterย ย -
As promised, a team of make-up and hair professionals came to your aid soon after you met with Sungho. Your hair had been washed thoroughly, probably the most itโs been washed in your life. Not because you didnโt wash your hair, of course you did. Because they used what felt like a million products in your shoulder-length hair.
Your makeup was done in what you called an idol style, accentuating certain features. You felt like an imposter of sorts. Call it imposter syndrome. The stylists had dressed you in a pretty simple white and black Celine tee, pinning the rim of the top under so it was slightly cropped, pairing it with a pair of black baggy cargos, simple yet efficient.
โlook at youโ that cheesy Australian accent could quite literally never hide from you.
Turning around you glare at Chris. Dressed in basketball shorts and a tank top, you were jealous he was wearing such comfy clothes.
โdid you hear about my new line of work?โ you ask sarcastically, adjusting your top the best you could without the staff attacking you.
โI didโ he laughed, โlix wasnโt too happy about it, thinks it will cause more harm than goodโ
You nod, you also believed that. You didnโt quite understand how a fake relationship rumor would mute the current one. But you trusted the company. Foolishly.
โIโm surprised you accepted though y/nโ Chris spoke, walking with you towards the lounge where Felix was.
โit was either this or lose my jobโ you sigh, you still couldnโt believe you were doing this. You could barely make it on the train without sweating, and now you had to walk around and go on a fake date with Felix, people following you to take pictures. You didnโt know how you were going to do it.
โThey threatened your job?โ Chris grabbed your wrist gently, stopping you before he opened the lounge door. โthatโs out of order y/n, Iโm so sorryโ his expression softened as he looked at you.
You valued Chris as a friend. He was always good to come and talk to when you needed it, or if you were feeling especially anxious when on shift. The pair of you exchanged phone numbers around a month ago, he had asked previously but you were nervous about it, so he kindly waited until you were comfortable.
โItโs okay though, I guess it gives me a chance to get out and face my fears or whateverโ you shrug, motioning to him that you were ready to go into the lounge.
He nods, stepping ahead of you to open the door for you. โFelixโ he called out as the pair of you entered.
There he was, the victim of the latest stupid scandal in K-pop. His long silver/lilac hair was, of course, styled perfectly. A baggy white tee hung loosely on him and a pair of baggy black cargos, that seemed to match yours completed his outfit.
You smiled awkwardly in his direction, โHello yongbok-ahโ You greeted him formally, bowing in his direction. You werenโt nearly as close to Felix compared to Chris so, you usually greeted him like this.
He frowned lightly, waving his hand in dismissal, โgod, y/n, no need to be so formalโ he stood from the sofa and walked towards you. His eyes watching yours as his hand diverted towards your shoulder. You smile weakly in consent to him touching you.
Since the other members didnโt know you as well as Chris, they were always cautious around you. Chris made sure to inform them of that.
โSince weโre supposed to be together, I donโt expect you to bow or call me by that calling, Felix is just fineโ he smiled, rubbing your shoulder gently before retracting his hand, and looking toward Chris.
โso, Mr. Connected-โ
Chris rolled his eyes as soon as he heard Felix call him that, groaning playfully.
โ-do we look like a couple?โ Felix finished,ย standing beside you.
โYeah, you kind of doโ
โso what are supposed to do, just walk together?โ you quickly change the subject, questioning the two of them. You werenโt exactly told what to do. Just told to be in a fake relationship. Did you have to kiss him?!
โThey didnโt tell you anything?โ Felix exclaimed, his eyebrows raised. He felt bad for you. Someone who had an important position in the company, which is what he viewed it as he had thought they would of at least prepared you. but in his eyes, they had set you up for failure. โthey know about your social anxiety right?โ he asked, grabbing two pairs of sunglasses from the corner table. Handing you a pair.
โyeah, they doโ you sigh, taking the glasses from him. He was sweet, caring, and overall seemed so friendly.
His expression changed slightly into more of a sour look. He was pissed that they hadnโt helped you, or even given you some sort of direction of what to do.
โthey want us to hold hands as we walk towards the convenience store, some sort of affection inside the store, and then go somewhere to sit and just look all relationship-like I guessโ
Bless him, he tried his best to explain what you had to do without cringing himself, he wanted this less than you by the sounds of it. You started to wonder if this was a good idea. Would it just be easier to cancel it? You could probably find another at-home job.
โy/nโ Chris started, looking in your direction โI know what your thinking, no you arenโt quittingโ he smiled softly, bringing you into a gentle hug โYou got this yeah? Felix will look after youโ
You buried your head into Chrisโs chest, sighing against him. You didnโt want to do this, you were so unbelievably uncomfortable. You felt tears beginning to sting at the rim of your eyes. Feeling Chrisโs hand rubbing your back as you sniffled.
You stayed there for almost 2 minutes, in complete silence. Just Chris holding you and Felix attempting to comfort you by rubbing your shoulder again. You pluck up the courage to pull away, not wanting to ruin any of the makeup the staff had done.
โJust breathe, deep breaths yeah?โ Felix cooed, making his way to the door, his smile was warm, inviting almost. You shoot a half smile back at him. At least it was Felix you were made to do this with, could have been worse right?
-
โGlasses onโ Felix reminds you before exiting the car.
ย You clear your throat as you follow what he said. Flicking them down as you got outside. You spotted a group of girls waiting across the road from the car, probably waiting to catch a glimpse of idols coming and going. It probably looked more obvious that at least one of you was an idol. Sunglasses and a face mask. It appeared obvious. Maybe not for someone walking down the streets, but for you two, it was.
The feeling of your heart began beating harshly against your chest. Your palms felt hot. No one was looking.ย Eyes were on you, watching every step you took on the pavement. They hadnโt noticed you both yet. Every breath you took the bystanders could see the rise in your chest. Your glasses hid the way your eyes began darting around the street.
Soft skin connected to your hand, the gentleness of the touch made your heart stop for a brief second, allowing it to calm down. You look over towards Felix once you notice heโs pulling you towards a smaller alley, away from the large open road.
Felix had noticed your sudden change in demeanor. So he lead you to a, not so much enclosed area, but a smaller, more intimate alleyway.
You were so shocked by the sudden physical touch and movement, you didnโt move your hand away immediately. Though once you realized what had happened, you remove your hand from his.
โI donโt think I can do this,โ you say apprehensively. Your breathing picks up again. Pushing your sunglasses to your head.
Felix copies you, also moving his glasses, โHey, look at meโ he speaks softly, looking directly into your eyes, waiting patiently for yours to meet his. โY/N look at meโ
You look up at him, his eyes kind, expression warm and caring. You were so close together, you could see the individual flecks of bronze that scattered across his face. His brows were relaxed and elegant.
โThatโs it, just breatheโ he whispers, holding out his hand for you, offering it now instead of taking it straight away. โFocus on my voice, itโs okay, youโre okay, weโre okayโ
Your eyes stayed glued to his, but your brain was focused on your breathing. You take his hand without thinking any more about it, receiving a squeeze of encouragement from him. He was truly helping. He was good at this.
โIโm sorry, I didnโt mean to be a baby about thisโ you sigh, your voice was still shaky, but calmer nonetheless.
โDonโt apologize, Iโve been there before and needed help calming downโ he reassured you, โand a few of my members have been there also, Iโm knowledgeable when it comes to calming others when they panicโ his thumb rubs your hand gently. A smile gently appeared on his face. That smile.
You take your hand back. Too much physical contact. โThank you Felixโ Using the pads of your fingers, you dab under your eyes, wiping stray tears away. Looking down the other end of the alleyway, pulling your sunglasses back down over your eyes. โLetโs just get this day over withโย
โOkay then, letโs get you some caffeineโ he smiles.
The convenience store was luckily very quiet, with only one other customer inside. You stay close by to Felix at all times. Following him to the ice cup chest, he opens it up for you. You grab the green-topped one and wait patiently for Felix to get his so you could grab the pouches together.
โDid you want one of the coffee ones?โ he asks, walking with you to the rack.
โPlease, the vanilla one if itโs thereโ you smile, watching as he crouches down to grab yours, looking up to you as he hands it to you, his eyes smiling more than his lips.
โThankyouโ
He nods, grabbing himself a pouch, but you didnโt catch what it was. Youโll ask him when you get out of the store.
โJust these pleaseโ
You place your cup and pouch beside Felixโs. Digging into your bag, grabbing your purse out to hand Felix some cash for your things. His hand coming to push yours back into your bag.
โNot, I got thisโ
You frown, but obey what he said, putting the cash back. Looking around the store as Felix pays, noticing the other person in the store standing a little way back, their phone out and pointing directly at the both of you. You quickly look back at Felix, tapping his arm gently.
โSomeone taking a photo or somethingโ you whisper, your eyes fixated on the store clerk, almost manifesting him to move faster. You see Felix turn to look at the person out of the corner of your eye. His arm coming around you, respectfully not touching you completely. Ushering you to the other side of him. He turned to face you more, smiling and thanking the clerk, taking the bag in one hand and his other hand opening the door for you.
โBut what about theโ
โWeโll do it on our way,โ he says, walking with you.
The pair of you ended up deciding to go to the picnic area of Olympic Park. It was close by and just easier. The day had been fairly simple, though you didnโt find yourself talking too much, just listening to Felix. You could tell he was uncomfortable with walking so much about himself and the things he liked. But you appreciated he did it to make you feel more comfortable. The overall day was a whole lot better than you had anticipated.
-
28th of January 2023
Sorry I havenโt written in a while, but I need to tell you this,
โHey strangerโ Felix greeted you with his smile. He was waiting for you in the lounge like he had last week, only this time Chan hadnโt joined the two of you.
โHey Felixโ you greet him, you were being driven to have a picnic at the cheonggyecheon stream today. Sungho called you a couple of days after your โdateโ last week. It wasnโt enough, it didnโt attract the attention they wanted. According to him, you had to be more touchy. Which you were, for obvious reasons, not comfortable with. But after a few hours on the phone with Felix, he had reassured you enough to become comfortable. You had both agreed to hold hands and a hug now and again throughout the picnic.
โYou look niceโ he adds, standing up to meet with you at the door. He a nice too, granted he was just wearing a pair of jeans and a white button-up, no doubt it was designer. He looked expensive. He smelt expensive too. Why were you smelling him?
You adjust your shoulders in a way to shrug off the thoughts, โYou donโt look too bad yourselfโ You smile but it quickly fades in a panic that your compliment wasnโt nearly enough as he was. โI mean you look good too, like I was just-โ
โI know what you meanโ he chuckles, shaking his head, walking past you to open the door for you once again โShall we?โ
You nod walking out with him towards the exit. The driver waiting for you outside. Just like last week, you and Felix put your sunglasses down as soon as you exit, running straight into the car. Felix made sure to open the door for you before getting in himself on the other side, And sure enough, the picnic basket was inside on the middle seat. At least we didnโt have to pack it ourselves, you think to yourself.
The sun was hot by the time you got to the stream, it wasnโt completely packed, it was empty enough for you to feel comfortable to sit there and eat, but packed enough to make you hyper-aware of people looking. But you figured that was a good thing since people kind of need to see you with Felix. Once you were both out of the car and had found a spot to sit, Felix laid a small blanket near the edge, placing the basket down before holding your hand as you sat down, letting go briefly as he got down, but taking it back once he was sat.
โIs this okay?โ he asks, lifting his hands. It was sweet that he wanted to check up on whether you were comfortable. You liked that he always made sure to do so.
โYes, itโs okayโ you smile, rather bashfully. A rose tint develops on your cheeks. Feeling the heat upon your cheeks, you look away. Leaving your hand in his as you use the other to open the basket.
โOh Onigiri!โ you exclaim, removing your hand from his excitedly to take the container out of the basket to show Felix. โI hope they put tuna inside..โ you open the container and offer him one. He takes it with a thank you, you take one for yourself before putting the lid back, too hungry to look at the other things. You both collectively bow your heads before taking a bite, silently saying thank you for the meal.
โOh wow, this is good, I think it is tuna, but Iโm not sureโ Felix looks at you, waiting to see what you thought. You were still eating though, covering your mouth as you chew a bit faster, nodding your head as a way to respond properly.
โIโm pretty sure itโs tuna teriyakiโ you finally speak, looking over at Felix as he takes another bite, watching him intently. You found yourself smiling at how his eyes closed and eyebrows raised, appearing in pleasure. You were glad he was enjoying the food, it was the least he could enjoy since he was forced here.
But he did seemingly enjoy hanging out with you, whether it was forced or not. You smile awkwardly when he turns to look at you, catching your stare. He scoffs lightly, placing his Onigiri down on his knee. โYou have some sauce on your chinโ
Your eyes widen, and immediately bring your hand to wipe your face. Looking over at him to see if you had got it.
Felix looked at you, smiling with amusement. That damn smile.
He thought you looked so helpless, โmay I?โ he asked, lifting his hand to your face, showing he wanted to get it for you. You did not get it. You nod your head, allowing him to go ahead with it. Watching as his face got closer to yours, his thumb gently rubbing against your skin. Your breath hitched. You never in a million years thought youโd be this close to him, even with the current agreement going on. They never said you had to be this close. You would assume that was obvious though. Pretending to be together was one thing, but kissing was another. Why on earth were you thinking about kissing him? His face was pretty close to you, surely it was a default thought.
โAll goneโ he whispered, not moving his face away from yours. You watched as Felix brought his thumb to his mouth โWe don't want to waste any.โ
You pull away from him slightly, not sure what to make of the situation. But something in your stomach made you feel some sort of way, you just didnโt know how to explain it. You bite your bottom lip. Unsure of how to process everything. That one decision he had just made sparked a feeling inside of you that you never felt before.
You must have appeared confused, because Felix was looking at you, amused by your reaction. โSomeone flusteredโ he laughed, leaning back to his original position. โI guess I could have just fed it to you right?โ
You blink in shock, the sudden change in the way he was speaking to you, caused your stomach to do flips. โI, uh, what?โ
He laughed again, you found yourself laughing with him. His laugh was contagious, it was beautiful too. He was beautiful.
โYouโre so delightfulโ he reached for his Onigiri once more, taking a bite leaving you once again, flustered.
You decide to lie down, enjoying the sun as your mind races. Thinking about the last 5 minutes with Felix. The pit in your stomach still felt weak, weak for him. You hated the feeling. You felt safe with him and safely made you vulnerable.
After a few moments had passed, Felix spoke again โOpen your mouthโ he asked gently.
You begin to fight every urge in your body to not open your eyes and to just trust him. Take a deep breath, turn your face towards him, and open your mouth.
He pushes a strawberry in between your lips, holding it there, smiling to himself as he watches your lips fold around the strawberry. Pulling it away once your mouth closed around the bite you took. His heart began racing slightly, he wasnโt certain as to why. Perhaps it was just a normal feeling of pride that you trusted him.
You hum in the pleasure of the taste. Strawberries. Your favorite.
โThank youโ you whisper once you have finished your mouthful. Smiling up at him. His hair looked as though it was sparkling with the sun against it. Despite looking as though he flourished in the sunlight, his eyes looked tired. You felt sorry for him. He had been so busy over the past few days since the recent comeback. You wished you could help him relax more. But you didnโt have the slightest idea of how to do that.
You sit up, moving slightly closer to him, reaching for a strawberry. You were so glad the staff had packed strawberries, you eat them forever.
โCan you open your mouth for me?โ you whisper. Leaning slightly closer to him.
His eyes widened now, clearly not expecting you to say anything like that at all, even if it was just a whisper. Nevertheless, he opened his mouth for you, keeping his eyes on yours, watching you, so intently, so passionately.
When he takes a bite of the strawberry, his eyes finally close, humming in pleasure just as you did โBeautiful arenโt theyโ he says once he finishes. Sighing to himself, as if he was contemplating what he was going to do or say next.
โYou know, I think I could love youโ That explains the sigh.
โWhat?โ You reply, shocked at the words Felix had just spoken, you didnโt expect to hear anything like to fall from his lips, especially if they were meant for you.
โ y/n, I think I couldโ his voice was soft now, looking over at you from across the table, a small smile lingering. Your heart fluttered.
โYou promise?โ The only words you could mutter, a week ago you would have never seen it coming. You still donโt. Even if that didnโt make sense. You still couldnโt imagine him loving you. He was Felix, you were you.
โI promiseโ
-
1st of February 2023
I like him you knowโฆ
You jumped at the sound of your text tone. You rarely got messages, when you did, it was late at night when your parents would text to you help them set up their Skype so you could tell them about your very unseasoned week.
So a text at 11 am was not something you were expecting, barely out of the shower, still sitting on your bed, wrapped in your towel where you had been for the past 10 minutes, pondering over what you wanted to do today.
You grab at your phone, checking the text message.
โDammit Chrisโ you groan, flopping into your back, scrunching your nose up at the feeling of your wet hair getting caught up in the towel. Shuffling around slightly to comfortable, before replying.
You didnโt know how to respond, he missed your face? You should have taken that as a compliment, maybe get a bit giddy over it, but it made you confused, unsure as to why he missed your face. You didnโt take photos often, you did not need to. You didnโt use social media much. But you were willing to send Felix a picture of you.
You turn onto your stomach, burying your chin slightly into the duvet cover, the waves of the sheets covered just over the tip of your nose. Taking a deep breath, you take the picture, sending it immediately before you could overthink it.
โWhat?!โ you jump up from your bed, staring at your phone. Why the hell did he want to call you? But before you could even have a chance at thinking it through, Felix was calling you. Well, you had hoped so anyway. It still said unknown, you probably should have changed it.
You press to answer and put it on speaker before speaking โHello?โ you whisper, though no need to whisper, you lived alone.
โy/n hello, Iโm sorry, I couldnโt wait for an answer, I missed you too muchโ
You take a deep breath, walking over to your dresser, placing your phone down on top.
โWell, I was going to say yes, but ideally I was going to get dressed beforehandโ you sigh, getting some underwear, sweatpants, and a tank top.
โWhy would you need to get dressed?โ Felix questioned, causing you to frown.
โJust, well, I donโt know, so Iโm not talking to you in my towel?โ
โItโs not like I can see youโ
โYes I know thatโ
โDo you though?โ
You pause, halfway pulling your sweats on, โFelix?โ
โYes, y/nโ
โHave you put a camera in my apartment?โ
That caused him to let out the most tasteful laugh, the kind of laugh where you could imagine the smile. His smile.
โI promise, I havenโtโ
โMhm,โ you tease back, taking your phone with you, as you left the bedroom, and heading into the kitchen. โNo schedule today?โ you ask, placing your phone down on the counter.
โNope, just rehearsalโ he replied, โdid you like the photo I sent you earlier?โ he asked, you could hear tapping in the background, probably something to do with his keys or the lube, or whatever.
โYeah, you looked good,โ you tell him, a smile lingering on your lips as you think about the photo in question. He always looked good, but you usually saw him with makeup on, so a bare face was a rare occasion. โDid you like mine?โ
โYou looked beautiful, always doโ
You pause as you reach for the knife in the drawer, smiling to yourself, he made you feel soโฆ comfortable, you were less anxious when you were talking to him, or around him. โNow I feel like my compliment for you wasnโt enoughโ you pout, continuing with getting the knife out to cut your bread. Perhaps you could invite him over.
โHey, Felix?โ You question, placing the knife down and gripping the side of the counter, preparing yourself to ask him the next question.
โYes Y/N?โ
You take a deep breath, โDid you want to come over?โ
โDoes someone miss me as much as I miss them?โ He teases, you liked it when he teased. โSure, give me your address, Iโll come on over after I sort out these keysโ
You smile to yourself excitedly, putting the bread and knife back, you could order food when Felix gets here. You tell him your address you hear the pen scratch against the paper as he writes it down. You both say your goodbyes. Sighing when you hang up.
You begin doing something youโd never thought youโd do, dancing from excitement. You were so incredibly excited about seeing him in your place. It was your safe place, and he had become a second safe place.
โHey you,โ you say as you answer the door, Felix beaming down to you as he walks inside. Opening his arms for you once you shut the door.
โHey,โ he finally says as you enclose yourself in his arms, embracing him and all he was. You hum softly against his chest, taking in the smell of his aftershave, it smelt amazing. He always smelt amazing.
โI thought we could order in some foodโ he smiles, pulling away to show you the bag he was carrying โ-and maybe bake some brownies for desertโ
โFelix I had stuff here we could have used for bakingโ you sigh, motioning him to follow you to the kitchen. โBut that sounds good, maybe a movie?โ
He nods as you show him where to place the item he brought over. You watch him intently, the veins in his hands protruding ever so slightly as he lifts the rather large bag of flour into the cabinet.
โWhat are you looking at?โ He looked over at you, a small smirk playing on his full lips, his hair sticking to his forehead slightly from the light sweat from being out in the heat.
You gulp, shaking your head, โOh nothing, I was just watching youโ
He hummed, walking over to you slowly, Cornering you against the kitchen surface. His hands were on either side of you, but he was careful not to touch you. You looked up at him, his breath hot against your face. โJust watching me?โ
โYeah?โ You whisper, your heart pounding faster as the interaction goes on. You desperately wanted something to happen, anything. Perhaps his hands would wrap around your waist, his fingers could trace faint and delicate shapes along your stomach.
ย Your chest began to rise and fall heavily as his face inched closer to yours, his fingers tilting up your chin as he-
โHey, Earth to Y/Nโ Felix waved his hand in front of your face.
You Internally scold yourself for even thinking such things. How could you think this way about anyone, let alone Felix, you were friends, he did see you as a friend right?
You had fantasies of being touched by him, kissed by him. Daydreams of the way his hands could caress your fragile body, how they would brush across your soft skin, and how they would relieve the shivering feeling you felt deep inside. You were soon taken away as vivid thoughts flooded your head.
โSorry I was just, awayโ
โAway with the fairies?โ Felix questioned, raising his eyebrow at you as the pair of you made your way to the lounge area of your apartment. โNow that you're back with me, shall we order some food?โ He flops down into your couch, patting the spot beside him, โwhat do you fancy?โ
You.
โIโd kill for a burgerโ you respond properly, sitting beside him, crossing your legs up on the couch to get comfortable.
The pair of you browse Felixโs phone, hunting down the right combination of food that youโd be satisfied with. And after several minutes of looking, the food had been ordered and it was quiet once more.
โSo, y/n, are you enjoying your new job?โ
You look up to Felix, scoffing playfully, โOh yeah, though my Co-worker is a bit of work, heโs pretty annoyingโ
He seemed to enjoy the teasing. He loved that you were having fun, whether it be at his expense or not, he just enjoyed seeing you smile. He lifted his hand to push back his hair before looking at you with the sweetest eyes. โHey, you should probably tell someone then, you donโt want the bad relationship to ruin your love for the jobโ
You roll your eyes, shoving his shoulder playfully, causing him to retort with a playful expression, his hand on his shoulder acting in pain, โdamn, you pack a punch!โ
โWas that a cod reference?โ
โYou know cod?โ
You raise your eyebrow, โYouโre kidding right? It was one of the best games for years, itโs my guilty pleasureโ you tell him, leaning forward to grab a grape from the coffee table, popping it into your mouth.
Felixโs tongue pokes into his cheek as he watched you his phone letting off a text ping, โI think you are my soulmateโ
โOh shut up youโย you laugh, taking the chance to move closer to him when he looks down at his phone. Peering over his shoulder to peek at his phone, seeing messages from Chris.
โChris should've come over tooโ you whisper, making it known you had seen the texts. Causing him to turn his face to look at you, making the gap between your faces, a couple inches now at most.
โNo,โ he says, his eyes taking in your facial features, falling to become stuck on your lips. โI wanted you to myselfโ he adds, looking back up to your eyes, smiling softly at your gulping reaction. He thought it was adorable, he thought you were adorable.
โYou're so beautiful,โ he says softly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing delicate circles as he hummed.
You felt frozen in place right now, your heart pounding, was this about to happen? His face closed in on yours, both of your eyes falling to close as your lips began to-
Knock knock.
You pull back, staring at Felix for a moment before taking a deep breath, seconds ago you were so close to kissing him and now you were pushing yourself up from the couch.
โSaved by the Bellโ
-
12th of February 2023
Hey,
โY/N!! Your back!โ Chris greeted you, opening his arms up for you.
Your smile, engulfed yourself in Chrisโ hug, smiling as you felt him rub your back comfortingly.
You had taken the last week off from work, you requested an emergency holiday and luckily they rewarded it. You needed time to think. After the sudden lunch date with Felix at your apartment, you needed time to figure shit out. You had almost kissed, did that mean there were mutual feelings? Possibly? Who knows. But you knew that you needed to think. The Saturday after, Felix messaged you asking where you were, you didnโt reply, and you hadnโt replied to any of his messages. You needed time to think, and anything remotely Felix flavored, caused you to not think.
โCome, weโre having dance practice right now, but Iโm sure the others will be glad to see youโ Chris suggested, directing you towards the studio.
โFelixโฆwhat about Felixโ you speak quietly, you didnโt know if you were completely ready to see him. Or if he wanted to see you.
โOh, heโs missed you more than the 7 of us combined!โ He turns to look at you before opening the door. You could hear the stomping of feet through the closed door. Knowing one of those belonged to Felix had brought everything back. โCome on y/n, Iโm with youโ Chris reassured you, opening the door without giving you another chance to protest.
โLook whoโs back!โ Chris exclaimed,
The guys greeted you one by one, with six helloโs and a nod. The nod belongs to Felix. At least the awkwardness waited until the rest of them said hello.
โFelixโ you start softly, walking up towards him, โI, Iโm sorry-โ
โWoah woah, okay how about we all go get some more water?โ You hear Chris suggest, the others nod or grunt, and soon you and Felix were alone.
โYou're sorry?โ Felix asks once he was in the clear, raising his brow at you before walking closer. โI messaged you multiple times a day without fail since the last time I had seen youโ
He was upset.
โWe almost kissed, I poured my heart out to you in those texts as soon as I left your apartment, and you read every single one, and ghosted meโ his voice cracked.
โFelixโฆpleaseโ your eyes began to sting, the lump in your throat threatening to come out. You didnโt realize how much this had affected him.
โI wrote a fucking song for you Y/Nโ His voice raised now, he was upset, but he was more importantly angry. And you understood why. โA fucking song, I was going to. I was going to sing it to you, to tell you how I felt, but you left, you, the person whoโs scared of their reflection in a window, left the cityโ he turned away from you, his hands messed with his hair,ย โI wanted to tell you I loved you!โ
You look up at him, his sad eyes penetrating your very soul, โloved?โ You whisper, โFelix I was scared!โ
โThen you fucking tell me!โ He snapped, โYou donโt fucking run off, you donโt run away from me, you talk to me!โ In the time youโd known him, he had never been this angry in front of you. You had heard of his outbursts from Chris, but having that outburst be caused because of you, was a whole different experience.
โYouโre scaring me, Felixโ
Those four words stopped his world, he felt as though his heart had been torn from his chest. He stopped and just looked at you, his eyes saddened, his bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. โI didnโt, I didnโt mean toโ
He inches closer to you, pulling you desperately into his arms, where the both of you, immediately broke down on impact. Both of your cries filled the room. He loved you, and you loved him, it wasnโt going to be an easygoing relationship, it wasnโt the most convenient and it certainly wasnโt going to be practical. But you loved each other. Unfortunately, it took you both hurting each other to admit it.
โI love you tooโ you whisper against his chest.
He pulled away gently, looking down at you with such sad but loving eyes. You look right back at him, sniffling slightly as you take in his gaze, he was perfect, truly, utterly beautiful. Over the last few seconds, your faces had gotten so close together. You could practically feel the atoms of his lips tickling your own.
โFelix..โ you whisper,
Just as quickly as your hands laced with his, he kissed you. You responded with such enthusiasm that he was taken aback at first, but regained his composure and reminded himself of what was happening; he was kissing you, you were kissing him, and everything around you was now meaningless.
Nothing could have possibly meant more than them, nothing could have more beauty than this moment: your small hands pressed into his, the way your eyes fluttered to a close. You fit into him like a glove, her kiss like the beating of a butterflyโs wings, soft until it became addictive.
And you were falling fast, craving his scent and the feeling of him so close to you, unsure where he ended and you began. You had never been more grateful to have life until now. You would have rather walked into hell again and again than lose this: his entrancing eyes, his captivating smile against your lips, his laugh,
But your stupid, stupid lungs had to find air, and you were forced to separate from him with the feeling of gravity being torn out of your core. Somehow, you had been moved up onto a ledge, sitting high above him and disconnecting your hands from his (with another pitiful drop in his stomach) so you could run them through his disheveled hair, and he closed his eyes at your touch.
You looked up at him with such an inviting warmth that you wanted to kiss him again, but it would have come off as obsessive. When he was non-respondent, you pulled away. He took a step back, heat rising to his face. โSorry โ Shouldnโt have done that.โ
โWhat are you talking about?โ You said softly, watching him. โThat was... it was fine.โ
โF- fine?โ His voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat, laughing a little before you made the move to kiss him again: he had become addicted, and you knew it, but this was short and sweet now.
God, he had forgotten how much he loved you.
โWhat the hell is going on in here?โ
Felix jumps away from you, you jump down from the ledge of the countertop. Gulping hard when your eyes connect with the manager standing in the doorway.
โY/N, my office, now,โ he says calmly before exiting the room.
You would have preferred him to shout.
-
You had been fired. Effective immediately. The conditions of your termination? No contact with the members of the stray kids, especially Felix. Ideally, the company would like you to leave the country, but they didnโt hold that jurisdiction.
You look around your office sadly, licking your lip gently, still tasting Felix on your tongue. Placing the last photo frame from your desk into your box, you pick it up and head to the door.
You wanted to desperately see Felix before you left, but you signed the waiver. You could be fined. Thousands. You didnโt have that kind of money to risk it. As you walk down the elevator, you couldnโt help but feel overwhelmed with sadness. Not knowing what to do at all.
When the doors open you step into the elevator, choking back tears as the door started to close.
โWait!!โ
A hand blocked the door as it almost closed, the door opening once again, standing in front of you with a relieved expression, was Felix. He gets in and hurriedly presses the button to close the doors.
โThey fired meโ you finally say, refusing to look him in the eyes, โI canโt talk to youโ
โWeโre in an elevator together, what are they going to do?โ
โFelix, Iโm sorryโ
โNoโ he warned, โdon't you dare apologizeโ he took the box from your hands and placed it down on the floor, taking your hands in his, his eyes sad โThey canโt stop us loving each other y/nโ
โThey can.. they haveโ you sob, trying your absolute hardest to not look him in his eyes, but you couldnโt tear yours away from his.
He sighed, โThen I canโt love you right nowโ his soft hand comes into contact with your cheek like it had done very few times before. But this time it felt different. Even though he said it was the wrong time, this made it clear it was definitive. This would be the last time youโd feel his hand cupping your cheek, the last time youโd stare into his perfect eyes, the last time youโd see his smile in person.
โI will promise to continue to love you, and when itโs our time, I will love you unconditionallyโ His face leans down, his lips pressing against yours with such love, attention, and warmth. A tear escapes down your cheek as you kiss him back without hesitation.
And it was the last time youโd feel his lips on yours.
-
A/N
Please donโt be afraid to tell me what you think!! Tysm for reading! Have an awesome day!
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WHAT I DON'T WRITE !!
self-harm, weight issues, eating disorders, etc, Scat, golden showers, piss play or anything to do with fecal matter, foot fetish, impact play, piss play, weapon play, pet play, member ร member, extreme kinks like - r@pe kink, impact play, extreme BDSM, pregnancy fetish, incest or anything that comes under this category, including step-cest.
SUMMARY
โฅ Being a professional-grade porn producer is not your typical nine-to-five, but you like it โ the pay is great, the hours are flexible, and it's an intriguing conversation starter. However, things get more than complicated when your infatuation with one of your performers turns into something it shouldn't be.
This work of fiction is intended for 18+ audiences only.
โป Bang Chan x afab reader โ Pornstar AU, coworkers to lovers, mutual pining, angst, slowburn, smut.
โป Reader discretion advised โ Adult themes, graphic depictions of porn and various porn tropes, flawed characters overall, alcohol & recreational drug use, confidence/intimacy/self-worth issues, heavy mutual fantasizing, heavy (almost toxic) jealousy, strong language, explicit sexual content.
RELEASED WORK
โฅ Scene I
โฅ Scene II
โฅ Scene III
โฅ Scene IV
โฅ Scene V
ใยฉ 2023, exxxtraoddinary ยท No translations, rewrites, or reposts permittedใ
warnings: smut๐!!!!!!, best friendโs brother!chan, reader & hannah are besties, friends to lovers, virgin!reader, kissing, little bit of dry humping, thigh humping, spit, oral (f), fingering (f), unprotected piv sex, mirror sex, possessive dirty talk (just sexy, nothing too crazy)
notes: thank you to this anon for getting me started on bfb!chan. the sole knowledge i have on the layout of chanโs house is from this vid so! title obviously from connected by the one and only bang chan. that song is sooo bfb!chan coded. also sorry if this is paced kinda fast u guys know iโm incapable of writing anything too long. anyways pls enjoy แฆแถ แตใจแตแถ แค
you thought you had it under control. this crush youโve been harboring for nearly a fucking decade, give or take. you figured it would be easier to move on from chan since youโre unable to actually see him due to the fact that heโs all the way in south korea. however, you still manage to see him everywhere. heโs a bigshot superstar after all.
whatever measly ounce of control you thought you had just so happens to slip through your fingers the second he walks through the door of his family home back in australia. heโd been out with his friends all day while you were over keeping hannah company.
you hear his slides shuffling on the linoleum of the hallway, the soft thunk of him kicking them to the side, and immediately straighten your back. hannah sees you and rolls her eyes playfully.
โnot this againโฆ you might as well fix your hair too. you want some lip gloss?โ she whispers, eyes shooting to where chan is meandering into the kitchen.
you stick your tongue out and roll your eyes back at her. you do fix your hair though.
โwoah, hey! if i knew you were coming over i would have come back sooner! come here, gimme a hug. itโs been so long!โ chan says as he walks into the room, beckoning you with his hands and smiling.
you get up from the couch with an exaggerated groan and step over your rumpled blanket on the floor, walking into chanโs waiting arms. itโs just a hug. youโre totally fine and normal about feeling his strong arms around you, your own arms wrapped around that deliciously broad back, his solid chest pressed against yoursโฆ
โโs good to see you! you doinโ good?โ chan asks, rubbing his hand down your back before letting you go and motioning back to the couch. you sit back down in your spot and pick the blanket back up, settling in beside hannah once again while chan makes himself comfortable on the L of the couch.
โyeah i- iโm good! are you? howโs it feel to finally be home for a bit?โ you look over to see him biting back a smile, and before he answers he yanks the blanket from hannahโs lap and wraps himself in it, giggling and yelling when she reaches over and kicks him in the side.
โyeah iโm good too, haha. all good. just busy! busy and well, you know. but iโm good! โs great to be back home.โ you donโt know, but you put the pieces together and figure he means heโs stressed and tired too. you hope this small little break will do him well.
you kept up with each other a little bit. nothing too crazy; you werenโt that close, despite how much you might have wanted to be. it was mainly those typical happy birthday, merry christmas, congrats on that award texts, but at least you can say youโre lucky enough to have that. not everyone can say they have bang chanโs number in their phone.
you chance a look over at chan again and see him already looking back at you. he smiles and crosses his arms behind his head to recline on them. โso, whatโre we watching?โ
โwe?!โ hannah says, sitting up now and motioning between the two of you. โwe are watching โthe vampire diaries,โ i dunno about you.โ
โwhaddya mean you dunno about me? i love that show.โ oh really? thatโsโฆ news. โyeah, haha, i love vampires.โ
you look down at your lap and laugh, and hannah mumbles something about chan being so full of shit itโs embarrassing.
he doesnโt stay for too long though, much to your chagrin. not long after he settled on the couch was he jogging up to his room and returning in a nice polo shirt and jeans, heading to felixโs house to eat dinner with him and his family.
as soon as chanโs out the door again, hannah pauses your episode and levels you with a look.
โwhaaat? why are you looking at me like that?โ
you know exactly why sheโs looking at you like that.
you wake up in the middle of the night, and hannahโs room is dark. your mouth is dry, the type of dry where you just canโt go back to sleep; you have to get up and get a drink or itโll drive you crazy.
you do just that, slowly crawling out from under the covers to not wake hannah and pad down the stairs to the kitchen. the open floor plan of the house allows you to see straight into the living room, and youโre greeted with the sight of chan on the couch again, this time working on his laptop. youโre suddenly wide awake, but you donโt know if itโs from the ice cold water you just chugged or the sight of chan, cozy and at home.
you want to talk to him though, alone, and you hope that maybe heโd like to talk to you too.
you make your way to the chair on the other side of the couch and gingerly sit down. you donโt want to scare him since he has his headphones on. he startles a little bit anyways though when he looks up and sees you. you offer him a little wave, and he quickly takes his headphones off and puts his laptop to the side.
โhey, whatโre you doinโ up? canโt sleep?โ chan asks, stretching his arms until his elbows pop.
โthatโs funny of you to say. i just wanted some water. no rest for the wicked, huh?โ you reply and point down at his laptop. he just laughs.
โyeah, well, you know. justโฆ comes with the job, heh. gosh, youโre shivering. you cold? cโmere, iโll make room.โ thereโs plenty of room. the couch is huge, but youโre sure as shit not going to say no to cuddling up under a blanket with chan. you leave your spot in the chair and join him on the L of the couch. chan lifts his blanket up so that you can slide under it with him.
you have to bite your lip to keep from smiling when he throws his arm around your shoulders to pull you close to him.
โitโs really been so long since weโve seen each other, yeah? whatโve you been up to?โ
that opens the floodgates then, and the two of you talk for hours. you talk for so long that berry decides to join your cuddle pile, and chan holds a finger to his mouth so that you can listen to her snore.
โgod, sheโs just like you!โ you say quietly, laughing and plonking your head down onto his shoulder.
โhey! i donโt- i donโt do that anymore! she probably got it from hannah, not me!โ
that makes you both laugh, and you see chanโs eyes slide down to the upturn of your lips. you both quiet down again after you catch him looking, and he knows heโs been caught.
โitโs been- itโs been really, really good to see you today, yaknow? hannah talks about you a lot, but itโs not the same as seeing you in person. i missed you, heh. you look- you look great. youโre so- youโre beautiful.โ that gets your heart pounding. your knees are pulled up to your chest, and when you turn your body towards him they rest on his thigh.
โoh. you think so? you really think that?โ you ask. heโs never said that about you before, and why would he? youโre just his little sisterโs best friend.
โi wouldnโt say it if i didnโt mean it. you know me. iโm not- iโm being serious. youโre so beautiful. i see so many people, yaknow, and none of themโฆ compare to you.โ
youโve never been looked at like this. not the way heโs looking at you. his eyes are kind, genuine. chanโs a lot of things but not a liar. heโs telling you the truth.
โchan i- chris. chris. what the hell is going on?!โ you laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. he laughs with you, nervous.
โi just! i didnโt want to wait any longer? i had to tell you. before i left, yeah? and then i saw you earlier and just had to tell you, but i donโt want to make you uncomfortable! or- or something. in case iโm ever here when you come over to see hannah and like, donโt want me to be aroundโฆ or something, yeah.โ
โchris,โ youโve taken hold of his black t-shirt, death gripped tightly in your hand. you could cry, you think. you donโt want to cry right now though, you can save that for your room when you get home. โchris, iโve been- what the fuck. iโve wanted you to see me that way for years. you- you used to call me squirt! you would come up behind me and pull my hair. i thought you just saw me as your like, honorary little sibling.โ
he snorts at that, shaking his head and throwing it back so heโs looking at the ceiling.
โi mean! you were, but itโs not like that anymore, yeah? it hasnโt been for a- for a while. and you- you said? do you- is this-?โ he gestures between the two of you. โi canโt even fuckinโ talk, wow! can i- um. can i kiss you? is that okay? itโs fine if not, haha. i mean, we can just keep talking! i love talking to you-โ you decide to spare him, cutting him off in the middle of his ramble by pressing your lips to his. finally.
fourteen year old you would be jumping up and down on your old bed.
chan reacts swiftly, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek while you kiss. itโs a sweet kiss, one youโve been hoping and dreaming of for yearsโฆ your first kiss with chan. this one stays soft, just a gentle press of your lips together. when you pull away, your breath trembles. chanโs dimples show, and he nuzzles his nose against yours.
he pecks your nose and goes to kiss your lips again. this kiss doesnโt stay sweet for long though, you reckon youโve waited long enough for him. you knew he had perfect lips, but kissing them is something else.
chan seems to be thinking the same thing. he parts his lips and tilts his head, and youโre kissing. your thigh is still pressed to his, and when his tongue flicks against yours it flexes. chanโs hand travels from your cheek to your thigh, squeezing once and humming in appreciation.
the tips of his fingers sneak under the hem of your shorts to stay, and you nibble on chanโs lower lip. he hums low in his throat when you do, sending a jolt of heat to your core. just a little bit of kissing and touching and youโre well on your way to ruining your sleep shorts. how embarrassing.
youโre happy to stay like this for the rest of the night, making out on the couch. chanโs lips are plump and perfect, and he clearly knows what heโs doing. your hand wraps around his bicep, and youโre about to throw your leg over his lap to straddle him until you feel something brush against your leg.
you and chan pull apart at the same time, and he licks his lips and looks down when you do. youโre met with the sight of berry, still sitting sweetly between the two of you and wagging her tail. it almost looks like sheโs smiling.
you look at chan with your jaw slack, and youโre quick to slap a hand over your mouth to stifle an unhinged cackle.
โoh my gosh. oh my gosh, no! her innocent little eyes, i canโt believe we just- we just-!โ chan picks berry up and cradles her to his chest. โi have to- iโll be right back.โ
he gets up from the couch and you see him scurry through the hall and up the stairs. he looks a little ridiculous, berry cradled to his chest and her little head bobbing as chan goes to quietly put her in hannahโs room.
you fiddle with your fingers while you wait for him to come back. heโs not gone long. you hear him quietly but quickly trekking down the stairs, and he skips the last four steps, hopping to the ground. kangaroo leader makes a lot of sense when you think about it.
โnow, um. ha! where were we?โ he puts his arms on either side of your head on the back of the couch and leans down to kiss you again. when you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down he laughs, propping his knee on the couch. youโre straining your neck to reach him, but he ducks down so heโs not towering over you.
โmmm, chris,โ you mumble against his lips. whatโs up? โchris. take me to your room? please?โ
your lips part with a wet smack, and chan looks into your eyes. his thumbs caress your cheeks, and you fight the urge to whimper. you never knew he would touch you so gently.
โyou- you want to sleep with me? like, really? like actually?โ he asks, and you nod.
โyes chan, i want to actually sleep with you,โ you snort. he laughs, bumping his forehead to yours. he takes a step back and offers you his hands to help you up from the couch.
the trek to his room is quiet. the only sound is your feet padding up the stairs and the soft click of his door opening then closing behind you. as he stands in front of you he makes an awkward jazz hands motion towards the bed, and itโs just another instance where you have to hide your giggles behind your hand.
โsorry! gah- iโm stupid, sorry! i just- youโre sure?โ chan says, scratching at the back of his neck and plopping down onto the edge of the bed. you sit down beside him and take his hand in yours.
โokay, listen. are you listening to me?โ yeah, course. โokay. okay, well, um. iโll just.. iโll just say it. so you- be quiet and just listen.โ he nods. โiโm so sure, chan. iโm like- surer than sure, okay. iโve wanted you for years, like, ever since i can even remember, so.โ
โfor years, huh?โ he asks, lips quirking.
โokaaay, i didnโt tell you that for you to be a shithead, christopher.โ
โchristopher! ouch, geez! okay, i get it. well, um. iโm yours then, yeah? if you want me, iโm yours.โ chan takes hold of your hand again and turns to look at you, leaning in to kiss you once more.
now or never, you decide. you shake your hand free of his hold and use it to crawl back on his bed a little. chan follows easily, and he lets out a heavy breath when you lay yourself fully down so that he can get on top of you. you wrap your legs around his waist and he hums, squeezing your thigh and rolling his body against yours.
his body is hot over yours. when you touch his cheeks you can feel the heat radiating off of them, and you canโt help but wonder if his chest would be flushed like that too. you tug on the hem of his shirt, might as well find out, and chan lifts himself up on his knees so that he can pull his shirt over his head. you were right; heโs flushed pink down his chest and glistening with sweat.
chan leans down once again to cage you against the mattress, and you shudder when his clothed cock ruts against you through your sleep shorts. chan rucks up your shirt and pets at your side, gentle.
โcan i take this off?โ he whispers, fiddling with the hem of your top. he sits up again to wait for your instructions.
โyou can- you can take it off, um. chris? i just. iโve never? i waited. for you. iโve just never wanted anyone else the way i want you, is that- is that okay?โ youโre about to pull your shirt back down until chris lets out a low curse.
โyou waited for me? for me? oh baby, i donโt- i donโt deserve you, but i want to. will you let me make you feel good?โ his fingers grip the hem of your shirt again, and he looks into your eyes as he slowly pulls it up. your breath hitches when the fabric slides above your nipples, and you arch your back and lift your head so chan can throw your top on the floor.
he hasnโt looked down yet, still gazing into your eyes and waiting for your permission. you arch your chest towards him, and thatโs all it takes. his hands come up to cup your breasts and he sucks in a breath, eyes roaming. your nipples are hard due to the chill of his room.
โso no oneโs- um. no oneโs ever touched you here?โ he presses your tits together and bites his lip.
โnope,โ you squeak. chan blows lightly on one of your nipples and your whole body jolts. โno, um, ah! just- just me.โ
he hums at that and leans closer finally, pressing a kiss to the underside of both of your breasts. he kisses up the valley, and just when youโre about to tug on his curls and beg him, his lips wrap around one of your nipples. his mouth is so warm, tongue so silky smooth against your skin, and this time you do yank his hair.
โoh my-! chan, chris, oh fuck,โ you whine. chan moans in response, flicking his tongue expertly against your hard little bud. he moves to the other one quick enough, sending shocks down your back all the way to your toes. his thigh slots between yours, and you canโt help but to start grinding on it while he sucks at your chest.
youโre close. youโve never gotten so close so fast, but this is chan. if anyone can make you cum embarrassingly quick you figured he could. heโs the man of your dreams after all.
โchris, oh, that feels so good. iโm close, โm so fucking close. please donโt stop.โ youโre humping his thigh like itโs the last thing youโll ever do, and heโs still latched onto one of your nipples, deft fingers plucking at the opposite one. you finally snap when his teeth catch on your now swollen nipple, your hips buck frantically until your body locks, cumming hard against his thick thigh.
he grinds the muscle against your spasming cunt and you cry out; chan quickly brings his hand to cover your mouth.
โshhh, shh baby. thatโs it, thatโs so good. youโre so good fโme. sound so pretty anโ feel so fucking good against me,โ chan mumbles around your nipple, pulling back with a wet pop!
โsorry, holy shit. oh my god,โ you whisper, embarrassed by how loud you just got. heโs not even inside you yet and you already want to wake the neighbors. chan just shakes his head and smiles, leaning up for a kiss again.
โdonโt say sorry, please, that was so fucking hot!โ he laughs. his thigh is still pressed close to your cunt, and you shiver when he pulls it away. the weight doesnโt stay gone for long. chan lays beside you, body curled around your side, and walks his fingers down your thigh. he doesnโt even ask, but you spread your legs for him anyway. he kisses your neck, breathing a sultry good, baby against the flushed skin.
โso, no oneโs touched you here either, love?โ he asks. chan closes his eyes and breathes in heavily when his fingers reach your sleep shorts. no panties. the gusset is soaked with your wetness, and he rubs gently over where he imagines your clit to be. your hips rise to meet his hand, looking at him with furrowed brows and a slack jaw. you shake your head no, other than you, heโs the only person to have ever touched your cunt.
you let out a quiet whimper when his finger circles your clit through your shorts, and your mouth drops open even more when chanโs hand finally slides under them to touch you bare. you do him one better, shoving your shorts down your legs and kicking them to the foot of the bed. now completely naked, you throw your leg over his to spread yourself further for him.
โoh, baby. this wet little cuntโฆ oh, fuck. โs so fucking wet fโme, isnโt it?โ
โyeah, yeah. chris, โm wet for you. โm f-fucking soaked.โ itโs true, you are. sometimes it takes you a bit to work yourself up enough to get wet, but chanโs done it in no time. โyou- ah, you make me so wet, chris.โ
a groan rumbles from deep in his chest, and he presses a kiss to your cheek. โyeah, makinโ this little cunt drip for me. can i- inside?โ chan asks, dipping his fingers down to rub over your hole. youโre already clenching in anticipation. of course you tell him yes, and he slowly slides a finger inside.
his fingers are thick, bony, and knobby. his hands are on the smaller side, sure, but that doesnโt stop you from feeling full already.
โfeel you clenching on me, baby, โs it hungry?โ yes. your pussyโs so fucking hungry for him. you tell him so. โโmโnna give you another.โ
heโs knuckle deep in you now, two fingers stuffed inside. he uses the heel of his palm to press hard against your clit, giving you something to grind down on while he fucks you with his fingers.
โthaโs good, baby doll.โ oh, fuck. โgettinโ you ready for me.โ
god, are you ready. you bite down on one of the edge of the blanket at the sound of his fingers fucking in and out of you slowly. youโre sure if he were to go any faster the sloppy, wet noises your cuntโs making would wake up everyone in the house.
you must have closed your eyes because the next thing you know, chanโs pulled away from you and is eye level with your soaked pussy. he raises his brows in question, and you nod frantically.
the two fingers he has inside you slowly slide out. youโre about to complain until he uses them, pruny wet, to rub quick circles on your clit. you back bows and suddenly theyโre inside you again, replaced on your clit with the flat of his tongue. you whine loudly, and he squeezes your thigh. your own hand slaps down over your mouth to try and keep yourself quiet. he kisses your clit in response.
the kiss was chaste and soft, but the way he uses his tongue to circle it is not. itโs got your legs writhing and trying to close around his head. his fingers leave the depth of your cunt once again, and they gently pinch around your clit so that he can suck the swollen little thing into his mouth, fucking his tongue against it all the while.
his lips are perfect for this. shamefully, you always thought they would be. late nights in your bedroom with your vibrator always consisted of thinking about chrisโ cotton candy pink lips, plush and soft. this is better than you ever imagined though. heโs desperate with it, lips smack smack smacking at your cunt like itโs the last meal heโll ever have. not to mention that godsent nose that works your clit while he tongue fucks your hole sloppy.
you grab behind one of your knees to lift it to your chest and use the other to spread the lips of your cunt so he has more room to play. he raises up slightly, tongue twisting around and pursing his lips so that he can spit right onto your pussy. heโs quick to clean his mess back up, sucking and licking you just right. just how you didnโt know youโd like.
โyโre gonna make me cum again, chris, oh my fucking god. please donโt stop, please donโt- keepgoingkeepgoing, oh my god!โ he keeps his pace steady even when you let go of your leg to grip his hair and hold him down. his gentle, almond eyes look up at you and he moans as you do. youโre barely lucid enough to notice him grinding his cock down on the bed. โfuck me. fuck me, chris please, i canโt- i donโt wanna wait any longer.โ
โi wonโt make you wait any more, love. gonna fuck you now, yeah? gonna make this pussy mine, gonna make you mine.โ
โโs been yours. โs always gonna be yours, iโm yours, chris.โ he nods down at you, sweat dripping onto your chest. chan shoves his boxers down his thighs and crawls over you. he uses his feet to kick his boxers all the way off, both of you finally bare for each other.
chan takes your hands and pulls them up above your head, entangling your fingers with his on the pillow.
โyโready for me?โ he asks, leaning his weight to one side and pulling one hand from yours so that he can guide himself to your waiting hole.
โyes, yes, please chris? please? โm ready for you, please, i want it so bad,โ you beg, but chan kisses you to quiet you down.
โyou donโt have to beg, baby, โm not gonna make you beg. iโll give you whatever you want, yeah?โ he nods down at you, and you nod back. โbaby cโmere, kiss me.โ
you lean your chin up to kiss him, and he uses that time to press the tip of his cock inside of you. your breath catches in your throat, and he whispers against your lips. โjust let me in, yeah? let me in. โm gonna make you feel good. thank you for letting me have you like this. iโll make it worth it, yeah? just trust me, thatโs all you have to do.โ you nod again, breath choking on an inhale. heโs sliding in slowly, stuffing you full of him, fuller than youโve ever been before. your fingers and toys could never compare to the feeling of chanโs thick cock inside of you.
you squeeze his fingers. โare you- chris, โs it almost in?โ
chan huffs a laugh and hangs his head. โiโm all the way in, baby, oh my gosh, how big do you think i am? okay, donโt- donโt answer that.โ
you squint one of your eyes open and try to look down, but the view youโre craving to see is covered by chanโs muscular body. chan must know what you want, heโs good at that, so he leans up carefully until heโs sitting on his knees. you prop yourself on your elbows and finally look down to see chanโs hips pressed fully to the backs of your thighs. one of your hand slides down from the pillow to rub at your clit for just a moment, reaching your fingers down further in a V so they can feel a little sliver of the base of chanโs cock that spears you open.
โoh my god, โs inside me. am i- am i dreaming? this isnโt real.โ you reach your hand up to cup his cheek, and he leans into your touch. he gives a tentative thrust to gauge your reaction and kisses the palm of your hand tenderly.
โbaby, itโs real. youโre not dreaming. iโm here. youโre here with me, yeah? maybe iโm the one dreamingโฆโ
he presses another kiss to your palm and guides your hands back over your head. chan lowers himself down again so that you can wrap your legs around his waist and kiss him whenever you please. your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel him thrust into you. you can feel the muscles of his ass working as well. itโs a shame you canโt see that.
until you remember you can.
the giant wall-to-wall mirrored closet doors call to you, so you turn your head to look in their direction. you bite down on his bicep to stifle your moan at the sight before you. your body is blanketed by chanโs, and through the mirror you can finally see how his ass looks as he thrusts his cock into you, his thick thighs, his arms. one of your hands wiggles free from chanโs grasp, and you reach down to squeeze his ass. you can see how the skin gives where your fingers claw at his skin, and you breathe out an airy moan.
โchris. chris, channie. look, look.โ he can tell youโre faced away from him, so he follows your voice and looks up and suddenly youโre locking eyes in the mirror.
โoh my gosh, oh fuck, baby,โ chan whimpers. whimpers. youโve never heard him make that noise before, and you want to hear it again.
โdโyou see? see how good youโre fucking me, chris? see how i belong to you? โcause i fucking do. fuckfuckfuck, please! thatโs so hot, i canโt- canโt.โ you can see how wild you look in the mirror, eyes wide and mouth dropped, fucking yourself down onto chanโs cock while he fills you to the brim.
chan plants both hands on either side of your head and his thrusts pick up. he takes one last look in the mirror and then focuses on you. โlook at me, baby, look at me. eyes on me, yeah? look me in the eyes when i make you cum.โ
you nod and clasp both hands around chanโs wrists.
โyes. yes, make me- make me cum. please, i wanna cum on your cock. can you- ah! cโn you touch my clit?โ
he does, licking the tips of his fingers and quickly bringing them between you to stroke your clit. itโs swollen, and your cunt is so, so wet. his fingers slip and slide against you, but youโre not worried as you fuck your hips against them. youโre so close you can taste it, movements desperate and sloppy.
โlook at me, look at me. remember what i said. cum for me, cum on my dick, baby. let me make you cum.โ
it doesnโt take long after that; you reckon youโre wrapped around his finger since your body found no issue with chan telling it what to do. your mouth falls open in a silent scream, and your eyes flutter as you try to keep them from rolling. you can barely hear chan over the roaring in your ears. thatโs it, thatโs it. youโre so good, cumming for me. gonna make me cum too, yeah. i lov-
he pulls out of you and jerks himself messily over your stomach. heโs beautiful always, but especially with his skin flushed and red, curls matted to his forehead with sweat. and thatโs your doing. youโre going to have spankbank material for the rest of your life courtesy of the low groan he emits when he cums. he continues to touch himself to completely ride out his high, and he shivers as the tip of his cock taps your stomach.
he uses the rest of his energy to flop down beside you, reaching to his nightstand to grab a couple of tissues and wipe the mess from your stomach.
โso, um. how was- was that okay?โ he tentatively asks. as if he didnโt just fuck your brains out. you tell him that, and he just laughs. โyouโre not sore, are you?โ
โi mean, iโll probably be feeling it tomorrow, but. nothing you canโt help sootheโฆโ you wiggle your eyebrows, and his dimples appear. you poke one with your finger.
โlisten, i- this wasnโt one and done for me, yeah? itโll be hard, yaknow, with everything, but weโll make it work. iโll make it work. if thatโs- if thatโs something youโll want,โ chan says, rolling onto his side so that he can cup your cheek and brush his thumb against your lips. you pucker your lips to kiss it.
โi want this, chris. iโve always wanted you, i always will want you. you think you can get rid of me that easily, huh? bold of you to assume i wonโt be coming to seoul in your suitcase. i could bend if you just help me out a little.โ
chan kisses you awake early in the morning.
โgโmorning, baby. โs early, โs time to go back to hannahโs room,โ chan whispers against your temple. you agreed on this last night. youโd stay the night in his bed with him and heโd wake you up early so you could sneak back into hannahโs room. you wonder if he even slept a wink, or if his insomnia kept him up all night.
โmmm, donโt wanna,โ you grunt, burrowing into his chest and stretching your legs until they pop.
โdonโt want you to either. wanna keep you here wโme. just wanna hold you a little longer.โ chan kisses your head and squeezes you closer to him. โitโs just for a little while, okay? weโll talk to them later.โ
you begrudgingly pull yourself from chanโs arms and struggle to find the clothes you threw off last night. chan uses his phone flashlight to help. you shrug them on, and leave chan with a slow parting kiss to his lips.
the floor is cold, and you quickly but quietly tiptoe back to hannahโs room so you can crawl under the covers to escape the chill. you slowly turn her doorknob, open it just enough to slide inside, and then turn the knob again so that it wonโt click when you close it. youโre about to turn around to head to the bed when her lamp clicks on, and you startle.
you gasp and whirl around to face hannah, only to see her propped up against the pillows and on her phone.
โand where did you come from?โ she asks, brows raised. you hit her with a very intelligent uhhhh, but she spares you. โactually, donโt tell me. please donโt tell me, but if you think youโre getting into my bed, you're funny. go take a shower, like, right now!โ
[TEASER] หโบโงโหโกหโโงโบห Close As Strangers หโบโงโหโกหโโงโบห
OUT NOW: Close as strangers
หโบโงโPairingโโงโบห Idol!Felix X Staff!Reader
หโบโงโSummaryโโงโบห Your a foreigner in Korea, after studying in Seoul to become a English teacher. You develop social anxiety, no longer aspire to be a teacher, or work in any public job. A job opportunity comes to work within JYPE as a social media manager, making sure the idols post things that wonโt cause scandals. But an idol you know, felix has gotten himself into a relationship scandal with fellow JYP idol Yuna. Management decided to damage control by asking you to become a fake partner of felix to take the heat from Yuna.
But Felix did seemingly enjoy hanging out with you, wether it was forced or not. You smile awkwardly when he turns to look at you, catching your stare. He scoffs lightly, placing his Onigiri down on his knee. โYou have some sauce on your chinโ
Your eyes widen, immediately bringing your hand to wipe your face. Looking over at him your eyes asking him if you had got it all.
Felix looked at you, smiling with amusement. That damn smile.
He thought you looked so helpless, โmay i?โ he askโs, lifting his hand to your face, showing he wanted to get it for you. Clearly you did not infact get it. You nod your head, allowing him to go ahead with it. Watching as his face got closer to yours, his thumb gently rubbing against your skin. Your breath hitched. Never in a million years would you have thought youโd be this close to him, even with the current arrangement going on. They never said you had to be this close. You would assume that was obvious though. Pretending to be together was one thing, but kissing was another. Why on earth were you thinking about kissing him? His face was pretty close to you, surely it was just a canon thought.
โAll goneโ he whispered, not moving his face away from yours straight away. You watched as Felix brought his thumb to his mouth โwe don't want to waste any.โ He whispered to you before placing his thumb in between his lips.
You pull away from him slightly, not sure what to make of the situation. But something in your stomach made you feel some sort of way, you just didnt know how to explain it. You bite your bottom lip. Unsure on how to process everything. That one decision he had just made sparked a feeling inside of you that you never felt before.
You must of appeared confused, because felix was looking at you, amused by your reaction. โSomeones flusteredโ he laughed, leaning back to his original position. โI guess i could of just fed it to you right?โ
โโโโโโโโโโ
COMING SOON!
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authors note ; okay okay so seeing these videos of felix, hyunjin and jeongin with the baby truly has its grip on me so have some yummy little felix breeding content
pairing ; felix lee x reader
wc ; 0.2k
content warning ; minors dni 18+ only! unprotected sex (wear a condom!), breeding kink, pregnancy kink, overstimulation, afab reader (fem nicknames)
soft cries and whines bubbled out of your raw throat as you feel felix pump yet another load into your swollen, sore cunt. one hand working itโs magic on your sensitive, overstimulated clit and the other caressing your left breast as the aussie spoke.
โcanโt wait to see your tits all big and full for my babyโฆ wanna fuck you full of my kids babyโฆ gonna be nice and round, look so pretty and full for meโฆ gonna make you a mummyโฆ youโre gonna be such a good mumโฆโ
you werenโt entirely sure if he was talking to himself, out loud, or what, all you could notice is the sticky peel of his skin away from yours as he pulled his softening cock out slowly.
quickly, his fingers catch the cum that began to leak from you, pushing two fingers in to your overstimulated cunt which elicits a soft yelp out of you from the sudden intrusion.
โs-sorry babygirl.. g-gotta make sure it sticks..โ felix panted softly as he looked at you with astonished eyes. he loved you so much, he couldnโt ever imagine having anyone else bear his child. as you looked up to meet his gaze, you admired his beautiful face as strands of his fringe clung to his forehead with sweat.
he peppers soft, sweet kisses over the bridge of your nose and smiles, looking down at you in your fucked out state.
โfuckinโ gorgeous, babygirlโฆ so pretty for me..โ
Summary: a chill evening on the couch turns into you and Felix exploring a new kink because tiktok is never a good influence. (SMUT-ish) 2.3k
Warnings: SPIT KINK (tons of it, it's the main thing, so if you're not into that, don't read this), mentions of oral (m receiving) and other minor things like hair pulling or like Felix sucking your fingers. There's no actual smut in this, just two idiots who take turns spitting in each others mouths, I'm sorry, I have no shame. 18+ PLS!!!
A soft grunt escaped your lips as you shifted around in place for what was probably the 5th time in the last 3 minutes. Your back was sore and you could barely feel your left foot, as it was already 6pm and all you did throughout the day was lay with Felix on the couch, talking and watching movies. Right now however, the room was silent as you both scrolled on your phones, the only forms of interaction between the two of you being the obscene number of kisses Felix would plant on your forehead every other minute, the way he played with the sleeve of your shirt, that one time you bit his chest just because you could and obviously, the tiktoks you decided to show one another.
Your feed had been fairly entertaining yet nothing out of the ordinary, until one specific video earned a reaction from you, in the form of a disgusted gagging sound.ย
Felix didn't bother to speak up or ask what it was that you just watched, instead he just removed one of your earbuds and put it in his own ear as you angled the phone so that he could also see the video.
"I don't get it" he looked at you.
"It's gross"
"Is it?" he softly asked, looking at you as if he was too shy to tell you he took it as a personal offense.
"Yes? Of course? Who in their right mind asks someone else to spit in their mouth?"
He didn't answer and silence settled again. Due to the way you were completely pressed into his side, you couldn't see his face, so as one too many seconds passed where he failed to answer, you couldn't help but push yourself up onto your elbows to face him. "Felix?"
"You wouldn't ask me to do it?"
"No!?" you responded, offended.
"Not even if you knew I was into it and wanted to do it with you?"
His question made you stop. This wasn't hypothetical anymore. Now it wasn't just a random thing from the internet that you were chatting about; now it was about Felix, and something he personally wanted to do. With you. You swallowed thickly, the way your view on the topic shifted completely in under one minute making you question your morals.ย
"I- I don't-" you mumbled, eyes cast somewhere over his shoulder, at the bookcase behind him. "It's not the same thing"
"How come?" he sweetly asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. If you didn't know any better, you'd have thought he played you. But he was just honest with you and you were just that in love with him.ย
"Lix, don't do this to me!" you whined and pushed yourself up into a sitting position.ย
He followed you. "Do what? Baby, I'm not trying to-"
"No, you're not trying to anything, but now I kinda wanna try it and it's gross. Are you happy?" you dramatically exclaimed, making him giggle.ย
"Happy with what? Princess, what did I do?"
"You looked at me with those eyes and now I want you to-" you pointed to your phone, "do that to me"
That made him grin, "You want me to spit in your mouth, baby?"
Fuck, you squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. And the worst part of it all was the way your core reacted, making your thighs involuntarily rub against one another. "...maybe"
"I can do that if you want to" he softly said and placed a hand on your cheek as he leaned in to peck your lips. "I'd love to do it, actually. But only if you're sure"
"I am sure" he hurriedly answered, voice shaky and not at all as confident as you had hoped. It made him smile, it had been quite a while since he'd seen you this flustered and he had absolutely no idea how badly he missed it.
"It's ok" he reassured you and closed the distance between the two of you with a gentle kiss. His plush lips enveloped yours and your heart rate slowed down on the spot, you melted in his arms - your safe place; your anxieties dissipating by the second. Lips still locked, Felix helped you crawl into his lap, his hands remaining on your hips as the kiss consumed itself in the most intoxicating way possible.ย
When you pulled away, you had to take a deep breath to calm your dizzy mind, and when you looked back at him - at his lazy and hungry, yet warm and understanding eyes, the words just flew out of your mouth. "Felix, please?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Ok then" Felix smiled.ย
He straightened his back and grabbed your chin, pecked your lips one more time and then gently tilted your head back. "Open your mouth for me, sweetheart"
With your heart again beating out of your chest, you followed his command - opened your mouth wide and fixed your stare on his.
"That's right, doll. Stay like that for me for a second, baby. So beautiful"
All you could do was blink and bring your hands up to the sides of his neck for support - mental support, because with your knees on either side of his lap, there was physically no way for you to alleviate the growing pain between your legs.ย
"Push your tongue out for me" he instructed further, and nodded in approval when you did as told. "So good for me, my pretty baby."
The anticipation was killing you, and you nearly moaned out loud when Felix titled your head back even further - so that he was now fully towering above you.ย
For a split second, your stare traveled down to his lips and the instant you saw them part, you looked back up into his eyes.
"Are you ready, sweetheart?"
You nodded, eagerly this time, your head bopping against his hand - gesture which made him smile. But he fought against it, repressed the grin, and closed the distance between your bodies before shamelessly spitting directly onto your awaiting tongue.ย
Shivers ran through your whole body and you remained there for a second, frozen, until he used his thumb on your chin to slowly close your mouth. "You can swallow for me, baby"
And the second you did, another wave of shame washed over your body, making the pressure between your legs even more intolerable than before. You then licked your lips and shook yourself, your head instantly dropping, your stare fixed between your bodies.
"Hey, hey, don't do that-" Felix cooed, and gently got you to face him again, "Please don't hide from me, angel, ok?"
"Ok" you mumbled and pushed yourself closer to him. Even though you were already basically pressed flush against him, Felix still wrapped his arms around your waist to help you settle closer.ย
"How was it? Did you like it?"
"Yes" you cringed. "I did"
"Good, my baby" he pecked your lips ever so softly, "You were so good for me. I liked it too, a lot"ย
Despite your interaction with him being the cause of your embarrassment, his mere presence was also the only thing that could ease your mood. So, as a shy giggle left your lips, you hid your face into his shoulder. "Weirdโฆ"
"What's on your mind, hm?" Felix questioned, "I can hear the wheels turning"
"Umโฆ" you laughed but failed to give him an answer. He, however, didn't need one. He knew already.
"Y/n?"
"Yes?" you looked up and met his warm glance.
"Yes, baby. You can do it, too. Isn't that what you wanted to ask?"
"Was it that obvious?" you chuckled, resuming your position in front of him. "Am I really that easy to read?"
"Not all the time, just sometimes. What else could've gotten you like this? You were never this shy around me"
"I'm sorry"
"Stop it, don't apologize. I think it's cute, I love seeing you like this. But I want you to be comfortable, ok?"
"Talk me through it?" you shyly asked, pushing your hair back as you got into position. This made Felix throw his head back as his eyes fluttered shut. He was riled up already - this whole situation didn't only affect you, but he kept his calm and remained composed for the sole purpose of offering you safety and confidence, but there was only so much he could take.
His cock was shamelessly stretching the fabric of his sweatpants, pressing directly against your heated core. It was less than ideal for him.
Fighting against himself, Felix grabbed your hips and pushed you up, so that now you were the one towering above him. His head was leaning back against the couch, droopy eyes studying your every feature.ย
"Ok, baby, ready?" he patted your ass.
You nodded.
"Come on, then. I'll do whatever you tell me" he tried to encourage you, but the way you blinked let him know very clearly you had no idea what he meant. So he continued, "Tell me to open my mouth. Tell me how you want me. Show me. You can do anything you want with me, love. I'm yours to do as you please"
"Ok, but like-"
"Y/n, it's me. There's no need to be this nervous"
"But what if I'm awkward?"
"Baby-" he took a deep breath, "Half the blood in my body is in my dick right now. You couldn't be awkward if you tried. And even if you could, I probably wouldn't even be able to tell. You know I'm wrapped around your finger, princess"
"Ok, ok" you giggled and got into position. "I can do this"
"Yes" Felix smiled proudly, "Of course you can"
You took a deep breath to gather yourself and then looked at him, "Lixie?"
"Yes, baby"
"Keep your eyes on mine, baby, ok? At all times"
He obediently nodded and licked his lips while squeezing your body closer. Everything inside of you burned as you placed your palms on his cheeks and your thumbs on his chin. He watched you closely, carefully awaiting instructions and showing absolutely no intention of stepping out of your word.
"Can you open your mouth for me, Lix? Just a little bit. A tiny bit"
He faintly nodded and parted his lips - not as much as you wished, but you worked with it, placing your pointer and middle finger on his bottom lip. "Will you suck for me?"
This time he didn't bother to nod. He had been waiting for this and wasn't about to waste any more time. One of the hands that he had until now been resting on your ass circled around your wrist, pushing your fingers deeper into his mouth. He sucked eagerly, his plump lips close to your knuckles as he watched you - pupils dilated and his face all red - he wasn't holding back.ย
"So good, just like that" you whispered, caressing his bottom lip with your thumb. And for that, he only went harder, hollowed his cheeks and brushed his tongue along the pads of your fingers, sending shivers in waves up and down your spine.
Seeing him like this awoke something inside of you, and the moment he bucked his hips up into you, you knew it was time to stop. Without warning, you retracted your hand which earned you a soft, pained whimper the moment he was left with his mouth open and empty.
"More" he cried.
But you didn't listen. Instead, you brought your fingers to your lips and licked them, closing your eyes to emphasize the pleasure it gave you. "You taste so good, Felix"ย
"Angel, please"
"I don't know what you want" you teased, "Tell me"
Your roles might have reversed, but unlike you, he never shied away from letting you know just how needy he was. "I need you to spit in my mouth for me, my love. Please, baby, I need it"
"You need it?"
"Yes" he whined in desperation. "Spit in my mouth like you spit on my cock before you blow me. I need to taste you, baby, please"
"Anything for you" you smiled and wrapped your fingers around the roots of his soft, blonde hair. When you yanked his head back, a moan escaped his lips but it didn't make him falter, he had no shame, he didn't care how pathetic it might look. He just craved you and thrived on the fact that you could so easily tell just how desperate he was. He loved being weak for you.ย
With his head held in position, you leaned down to give him a soft, little kiss, and with your lips still pressed against his, you whispered, "Open"
He obeyed your command, while still remembering the first one. No matter how hard he was able to feel his pulse inside his balls, he kept his eyes trained on yours as you did exactly what he asked - spit in his mouth like you spit on his cock.ย
"Fuck" he threw his head back as he swallowed, but his bliss was painfully interrupted when you unknowingly lowered yourself back onto his lap. "Shit, baby!" Felix hissed, "careful"
"Oh my god, sorry!" you hurried to move to the side and plop down on the couch, only to see him pull at the cotton of his sweatpants, or underwear, in a desperate attempt to relieve some of the pressure the material was causing him.ย
"So I did ok?" you questioned, blinking at him as you awaited his response.
But he could only scoff. "Ok!?" Felix laughed, "Ok!? Baby, you made me suck on your fingers"
"You didn't want to?"
"Angel, you blew my mind. Fuck, I need a shower-" he breathed, getting ready to stand up before you stopped him.
"What? I can do it"
"No, I'm all gross" he wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead, "But you can join me"
"I don't want to join you in the shower, Felix. I want to suck your cock here. Now"
