[11:41pm]
you’re barely breathing as you wait for woojin to pass you by, which is considerably hard when you had been sobbing just seconds before. you hear his laughter as he talks on the phone, just one fence dividing you both.
it’s nearly midnight, and you’ve been crying on the soccer field for ten minutes. you know that you’ll be crying for another hour at least– you don’t know how to cope with all the emotions in your chest but to cry. and you wanted to be alone, you wanted to be outside, away from your stuffy dorm where your two roommates were sleeping.
apparently the divine being above didn’t want that.
you breathe slowly, lightly, struggling to remain quiet as you watch the entrance to the field from your peripheral vision to wait for woojin to pass by it. to pray that woojin would pass by it. once he passes by it, you’re safe to cry alone again.
except then it gets quiet. you don’t hear woojin’s laughter, and he doesn’t seem to be on the phone with anyone anymore.
you wait– maybe he’s just walking real slow. you hope he’s walking real slow.
but then, to your horror as you look towards the entrance waiting for him to pass by, you instead see his head peek in.
and your first instinct is to cry.
“woojin, no,” you whine, already unable to stop yourself from bursting into tears again. woojin’s face of curiosity– the one that had been wondering what you were doing on the soccer field near midnight– suddenly turns into one of soft tenderness. “you weren’t supposed to come in.”
“come here,” he says, walking towards you with open arms. you stay where you are until he meets you there, wrapping his arms around you and gently resting his head on yours. you’re too sad to even push him away, and despite you telling him that he shouldn’t have entered the field, that he should have left you alone, you wrap your arms around him and press your cheek against his chest.
his shirt is plain white and you’re sure that there’ll be patches of concealer and streaks of mascara on it after.
“i’m proud of you,” he says, one hand rubbing up and down your back and the other laid gently on your head. “you did amazing no matter what.”
“this is ugly,” you reply, your actions of tightening your hold on him and further burying your face in his chest contradicting your words.
woojin chuckles, “it’s dark anyway, i can’t see you crying.”
“that’s a lie,” you retort immediately through your tears, fully aware that there were dim lampposts lighting the soccer field through the darkness. he laughs immediately.
“why did you even try to hide?”
“because i didn’t want you to come in! you weren’t supposed to see me fall apart like this,” you whine, finally pulling away from him to turn your back to him. you face the fence now, uselessly wiping at the tears that keep falling.
“but i saw you, of course i would come in?” he says, questioning your thought process. “i saw you in here and i never saw you come out, so of course i knew you were in here. i wasn’t going to leave you.”
“well, i was banking on you not having seen me in the first place,” you respond bitterly. you turn around, facing him again with your arms crossed. you really hadn’t wanted him to see you fall apart like this.
yet woojin had found you and was comforting you, a grown eighteen year old, at midnight in the middle of a soccer field instead of doing what he needed to do.
“and you. you have homework. what are you doing here dealing with me? you should have just left and done your homework,” you scold, even though the tears and hiccups and sobs between every few words prevent woojin from taking you seriously.
“it’s okay,” he laughs, pulling you in again and nuzzling your head. “you’re like my little sibling. you’re more important.”
there’s silence for a while, with only your sniffles filling the air.
“just know, i’ll always find you whenever you need me. even if you try to hide,” he murmurs into your hair, still cradling you. “now, how about i walk you back to your building?”
and so woojin takes your hand, not letting go of you until he leaves you at your door with a soft kiss on your forehead.
“i’ll always be proud of you. and i’ll always be here for you.”
that’s a promise from the big brother you never had.
– excerpts from fics i’ll never write
