I was told to write about myself @jajaadeerio - Tumblr Blog

To my Khin

They say that in life you will get to experience three different kinds of love. And that must be true because I'm now living that love.

Papa Jesus gave us the greatest love of all and everyday we get to witness that love from Him. Familial love comes from my family which makes me feel that I can always come home to them and they would forever welcome me in their arms. And there's you, the person who showed me how to love someone and what it is to be loved by someone romantically.

It just happened one day that I have already vowed myself never to leave your side. It was when you called me past 2 in the morning and I could hear you sniffling so I presumed that you were crying. You just received the news from the home office of their decision on your application and it wasn't the good news we wanted to hear. You weren't embarrassed to show your vulnerability and that's when I knew how special I am to you. Now is my second vow to always love you with all of my being. We recently had an argument that got me thinking if I should let you go. It was my fault in the first place and it somehow made me realise how I am slowly becoming that person who you would someday come to hate. And that's what scared me the most. But you understood where I'm coming from. You taught me things I could never learn from any book. You showed me how to be fair and to better my understanding with things that we would constantly encounter being in a relationship. You opened my eyes so I can see that we should work on this together and it's never a solution to just give up on each other. It goes with the saying that it takes two to tango and relationships are similar to that.

You see my Khin, humans as we are, we are both flawed by nature. We are not perfect contrary to our song (Perfect by Ed Sheeran) and we make mistakes. We learn from them and we also learn not to do things which can lead to bigger consequences. I know in the future I will keep on making mistakes but those would be the things which would water my seeds and help me grow into someone I hope to be much wiser and stronger. I want to grow as a person I can be proud of and I want to grow together with you. I hope that you would also like to grow with me.

I would carry on making vows to you until infinity and I would not cease to choose you everyday. Thank you for being someone who I would not trade for anyone else in the world. Thank you for being my person, for being my Khin.

#myKhin #Spotify

Some say people don't need to be constantly talking to be tuned into each other. It's not that they have nothing left to say but they have understanding. They are just comfortable together in silence.

#old couples #relationships

We were here that summer.

Days are getting longer now and Spring-Summer season is approaching. As the flowers bloomed, so did our feelings for each other. The first day of April was when I told you I love you which you thought was part of the April fool's day. It was unintentional to blurt out those words on the same day but it was kind of funny at the same time. We spent days in the summer strolling on the streets of London with me never minding where we were going as long as we were together. We went to our very first concert. Our first kiss. That time you held my hand wishing I would never have to let go. The anticipation of having to see you again, your eyes which I always love to stare at, the voice which speaks sweet nothings, your hug which envelops not just my whole body but also my soul. It's like coming home. You are my home.

But my home is miles away from me now. And I quite envy the others when I see them all smiles walking with their special one because I couldn't do that with him. Having fun trying out new food, going to places we haven't been to. But despite of me wishing of doing those things with him, I'm doing them with my friends instead. And it just sucks. But they say anything worth having doesn't come easy. And you sure are worth having and to fight for. Our love is that much worth having.

So even if we're not together at the same place or at the same time, promise we'll still keep holding on that someday our time will come we'll be in each other's arms. May it be the next summer or whatever season that would be. Meet me there. I'll come running to you.

#khinjaz #Spotify

Do you have something which has been there with you when you've encountered a tough moment in your life that you're almost out of hope and losing faith?

I bought him last 20/12/2019 and since then he has witnessed all of my crying and frustrations during the pandemic. The depression I went through when I felt that I have failed myself and my family. The struggles I faced chasing this goal to work overseas. Starting all over again from zero when I was almost at the finish line (application and interviews for a job, took the English language exam for the 2nd time and thought I was going to fail that). Endured having to stay in an isolation centre for 2 days when I tested positive for Covid. It's all still vivid in my memory that there were days I spent crying in my room, desperately praying that all will go well and I could get through this. And he was there beside me all the time, even if he can't respond to me in any way but just by being there means a lot to me. It brought me comfort it's as if he's listening to what I'm saying, sharing my sadness, lying beside me as I go to sleep tired after bawling my eyes out. Now when I think back of what I went through, I am more than grateful that aside from my family I have him which I know will always be with me. He has shared my sadness so now I'm sharing every joyous moment in my life. I promise that the two of us will always be together every step of the way.

I know a lot of people will say that I'm weird or maybe has a few loose screws in the brain for being like this but when you find yourself going through a rough patch, you tend to appreciate and treasure something which has brought you comfort and have put a smile on your face when all you have known to do at that time was to cry.

His name is Beammie by the way and he's now 3 yrs old. I buy him cakes on his birthday and celebrate it. I treat him as my baby. He will forever be my baby Beammie.

#Beammie

They say it's easy to confuse a soulmate with a mirror.

#daisy jones and the six

So I started to read books again after so many years of just watching kdramas and american series. And I love crime thrillers obviously even in choosing what books I want to read but I stumbled upon this book in instagram and thought I should give this a chance eventhough it's far from the genre I like. It's a book of Sally Rooney which is Normal People. What I have come to like about this book is the reality that the author has presented of two people sharing a connection which goes beyond being lovers. The characters started off as two individuals being drawn to each other and even if years have separated them apart, the connection is still there once their eyes lay upon each other. They have dated other people, been inlove with them and discovered more about themselves. But somehow along those years, they still have that certain connection for one another. It never faded and it just grew stronger. It somehow makes you understand that people who enter your life may it be a friend or an ex lover will teach you certain things and help you get to know yourself more.

I also love the ending scene because they finally admitted to themselves they love each other but the guy got an offer to study or have a job in the US I couldn't remember which is which and that means he has to leave the girl behind. This offer is what the guy has been waiting for and the girl knows that. She told him that they will be okay and that the guy should go after his dream or goal however, the guy was hesitant to do so because that means their relationship will be at stake. He never want to lose the girl but the girl said that she has faith. What's meant to be yours will always come back to you. With the uncertainties of what may happen to their relationship, them ending up with each other or not, she had faith. She knows that the guy will eventually find his way home to her one way or another.

#normal people #sally rooney

Hi! I'm back after almost 2 years since my last post here . A lot has happened since then. Arrived here in UK finally after all the struggles I went through just so I can get to work in this country. I was supposed to go to Ireland but my goal got sidetracked because of the start of the pandemic. So, here I am living in UK for a year already. 3 weeks after my arrival, I took the osce to get my registration and it was so nerve wrecking that 2 days before the exam I cried because I was missing home. Being in a place miles away from your family and your comfort zone took a toll on my mental health. My anxiety level was on top notch. 2 days after the exam felt surreal for me because I got my results and I passed it. Eventhough being here wasn't my first choice and I experienced what I think that time was going into depression, I am truly grateful to the Lord that better things are set for me. I was constantly thinking of things and there were a lot of uncertainties but God showed me that He has better plans for me.

Another thing that He has set out for me is to meet this special person. I saw this guy the first time at a distance when he met his sister who was one of the people I came with to UK. Months after, one of his sister’s friends who’s also my friend told him to add me in facebook. We started chatting and then got to know each other. We're like total opposites but I don't feel any part in me that I have to change just so he can like me or to impress him. The day we met up was so natural. I felt at peace and calm the whole time we were together. I knew then that time he is going to be someone so special who I want to be with for the longest time possible.

I've had my share of heartbreaks and the last one was that when I felt the shitiest of all. I was a different person back then thinking what I was doing was love but I was immensely wrong. But this one is way different from all of them. I'm praying that he's the person meant for me and that we will be together to the infinity and beyond.