Not sure how much sleep I got last night. For the first time since my injury I spent a night in the #hospital and I wasn't the patient. It's strange to me be the one who now has to comfort in such a way. Despite being officially finished with harshest part of her #cancer treatment she hasn't been left unscathed. Her white blood cell count dropped due to #chemo and the treatment for it has forced a hospital stay due to fevers. This is the first time I can ever remember my #mom needing to be hospitalized, and she's #scared. I think we all are scared even if we don't all show it the same. Her breathing, at times, is erratic almost as if she's having a hard time breathing when she was #sleeping. When she's awake there are #moments when she's not there, even when she looks at you. As her son, and a #human I feel so utterly #powerless. Yes, I do what I can but it doesn't take away this feeling in my mind. I comfort her and keep her calm when things feel overwhelming to her. I keep telling her she has to get herself beach ready after all of this. I try to keep her looking forward and upbeat even though, I, myself, am scared too. I try to hold back so she doesn't see me cry, even when I see her tears as she thanks me for that which she doesn't nor shouldn't.. For simply being there. Sometimes #comfort is all we can do and sometimes it's truly all many want and need. Even when we all want to do so much more but can't. Never forget to #hug and #Love hard! #fuckcancer #cancersucks #mother #momsrule #hope #family #familyfirst #notalone (at Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania)
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