Scared that once I turn dark,
That the light I’ve clung to like breath in my lungs
And no one will notice the smoke.
I wear this smile like armour,
Not the kind with bullets,
But the kind where your own heart turns on you
I’ve danced too long with shadows,
Tried to baptize my pain in silence,
But what if strength is just the mask before the fall?
What if I cross that line —
What if rage feels safer than peace?
What if revenge feels more honest than healing?
What if I stop praying because the silence feels more faithful
Than the God I’m still searching for?
See, they say “don’t let the world harden you”
When love is a battlefield
And trust has a body count?
The soft-spoken, grace-chasing version of me —
And all that’s left will be the monster I swore I’d never feed.
Because once I turn dark,
I don’t know if I’ll want to come back.
And if I scream in that darkness,
“That’s what happens when you hold in too much.”
“That’s what happens when you love too deep and get cut too often.”
But I never wanted to be this.
I never wanted to rot from the inside out,
To feel fire in my veins where peace used to be.
To pull me back before I slipped.
So if you’re hearing this,
If you see me smiling but my eyes look tired —
Don’t let me go quietly into that dark.
I’m scared I’ll stay there.
izzy806
theartofmadeline
germansingergirl
2087
gracieabrams
amandla
stormborns
blakekathryn
snowghoul
