queen jamie approximately

junior at nye uni, 20

[jamesgkirk]

“Finally somebody shows some promise. My only complaint is Miley’s amount of screen time. Like, when I heard that they were going to be in this together I had a vision of them travelling back in time to rescue a bunch of historical figures to help them pass their big history test, but then someone reminded me that that’s the plot from Bill and Ted. So, just imagine Bill and Miley going on, like, a present-day excellent adventure! And singing Christmas songs like angels would. It’s all up here,” she said, tapping an index finger against her temple.

[jamesgkirk]

“Oh my god, that’s amazing... That’s the kind of feel-good story you hear about on the news. If they don’t already make some kind of armor-plated wet suit, I’m totally proposing it on your behalf...”

[jamesgkirk]

“I demand video evidence that you can make it through the whole thing without at least gagging.”

[jamesgkirk]

“You’re going to feel very bad in about thirty seconds when I start crying.”

[jamesgkirk]

“That’s crazy... Do you ever get in the water with them? Like, in the cage thing?”

[jamesgkirk]

“Why is it that I can watch Saw a hundred times and not bat an eye, but I even skipped parts of The Human Centipede and I still want to projectile vomit all over the place... I’m going to have to play Bill Murray’s Christmas special on loop until my stomach settles again.”

[jamesgkirk]

“Have you considered donating them to the aquarium?”

[jamesgkirk]

“Wow, really? How long until they’re fully grown?"

[jamesgkirk]

“No, that’s not so weird. The words are all innocent enough, but every time it’s sung they make it sound like they’re trying to seduce him, and that’s super weird because he’s like everybody’s big happy grandpa.”

[aaronwolfsgrove]

“Yes, the year is almost over. Yes, I look like trash, but that’s because I decided to spend the last few nights here, instead of going home. Was there something specific you needed, or can I go back to trying to get some sleep?”

[jamesgkirk]

“I’m sorry... Um, I was just wondering if you could tell me what kind of shark that is. Because I don’t think it’s listed here?”

[jamesgkirk]

“I’m actually really surprised that it hasn’t even snowed once yet. My parents have been liveblogging all the storms they’re getting down in Colorado. Apparently it’s supposed to be a big snow season over there since El Nino is this year, so maybe they’re just borrowing a little bit of weather from us. I’m not complaining. Trust me, snow is pretty and fun to play in sometimes, but you’ll learn to hate it.”

[oursrp-blog]

Is it usually this cold during this time of year? I feel like I need to be bundled up in seven layers of sweaters.

[jamesgkirk]

“It hasn’t even begun. Before I moved up here for school I used to think that cold was cold and how much colder could it really get, but after you experience a winter here--when it’s below zero on the reg--you start to have a new appreciation for thirty-five degrees.”

[lana-lovett]

“Santa baby, ‘13 Camaro will do, black interior too; I’ll wait for you dear, Santa baby.”

[jamesgkirk]

“Something about that song has always been kinda off to me. On another note, you didn’t sound too bad.”

[arielleblah]

“-Okay, so you do that thing with your feet, bring it around town, and pelvic thrust. That seems simple enough, I’m going to get food now, I’m starving.”

[jamesgkirk]

“Ugh... Don’t blame yourself, I’ve never been much of a dancer. I am much better at eating, if that’s something we can also do together?”

[melrxses]

“Would you mind watching where you’re going next time? Thanks.”

[jamesgkirk]

“I’m really sorry, I’m so... in my head today.”

[loraineduh]

“Sorry, I’m kind of lost… I’ve never been here before… I’m looking for, uh… Fifth street?”

[jamesgkirk]

“Seriously? You don’t have a smart phone or... anything with a map on it? That’s kind of relieving. I think I can point you in the right direction.”

[faithno]

“My mother somehow got me into a dress, please say things to make me feel better about this situation. Fuck this is horrible.”

[jamesgkirk]

“At least it’s a pretty dress? She could have picked out a muumuu or something equally mortifying.”