it just fits perfectly

jamie // 20 // sophomore currently studying english at the university of lima, possibly single.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

prof-evans‌:

sam felt his stomach drop as their eyes locked, the realisation of those three little words visibly sinking into jamie’s mind and he could see it. not the reaction he’d hoped for after finally confessing his love for her, but at the same time it was the exact reaction he expected given the circumstances. 

his eyes fixating on the girl as she began to pace around the room once more, what he wouldn’t give in that moment to jump out of his seat and take her into his arms. take all of her pain away. but there was nothing that he could say or do that could do that, after all most of the pain was brought on because of him. sure they were both adults and both made the decision to pursue their relationship, but sam being the older one should’ve been more responsible. 

but for some reason, none of that mattered when it came to jamie. he didn’t care about the world around him and how it was coming crashing down, all he cared about was her. and he knew that was incredibly selfish, but for his entire life he’d constantly put everybody else first and just this once he wanted to be allowed to just care about himself. 

letting out a sigh as he rose to his feet, sam slowly made his way around to the other side of his desk, leaning back against it. one hand resting beside him as the other ran through his hair. “i love you jamie.” he paused, looking directly at her. “and i’m so fucking sorry that i waited until now to tell you that, because you deserve a hell of a lot more than this.” he shook his head a little, another sigh falling from his lips. “you deserve a hell of a lot more than me.” 

jamie took a few steps back when he stood up and walked to the other side of his desk, she was sure the second tried to comfort her with a hug or even touched her that she would break down crying. and god she didn’t wanna break down crying, not right now and not in front of him.

god, those words again. it was unfair really. she wasn’t going to say it back till she knew where they were heading and at this point this was all very unclear. ”you didn’t answer my question.” she stopped pacing around and quickly turned to sam, crossing her arms. she was slowly getting frustrated with sam, avoiding her question, saying those words again.

“what did you tell to my mom?” she cared about him and she wanted this to keep going, she really did, he already lost his job over it, her moms were gonna be mad no matter what and people would still talk about it, till something more interesting happened. “did you tell her you would end it?”

maybe being more straightforward with him would help, she certainly hoped it would. cause if he did say he would end it she was ready to storm out this office. “i’m perfectly capable of deciding myself what i deserve, i don’t need my mom or you to do that for me.” so legally she wasn’t able to even order a drink yet but she was an adult and able to decide for herself what she wanted, needed and deserved.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

willajade‌:

Now are you talking about Victoria Beckham now, or did  you mean Marley?

victoria beckham of course. i don’t care so much about marley.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

prof-evans‌:

sam’s throat felt like the sahara desert, it had never felt this dry. after clearing his throat once again, his eyes fell down into his hands, unable to maintain eye contact with jamie while he repeated what the young girl’s mom had said to him.·“that i’m ruining your life… i’m selfish for not thinking about how this would affect you long term.. i’m a shitty dad for risking the toll it would take on my kids and on my job..”

his voice began to trail off, his head falling between his hands as he closed his eyes tightly, as if the pressure would somehow stop them from watering.·“and she’s right - about all of it.” he hated that santana was indeed correct, but in this instance he couldn’t deny it, nothing that she’d said to him was a lie.

sam couldn’t help but sniffle softly, he hated himself for the situation he’d gotten them both in but mostly he hated the fact that more than anything, he hated how upset jamie was. in that moment, he didn’t care about his job or the repercussions on his life - all he could think about was how much this was affecting her.

“i - i told her that i - ” he paused for a moment, hating that this was how he was going to admit his feelings for her. “i love you.” another pause as he wiped his face onto his sleeve.·“she told me that if that was the case - i’d let you go, i’d let you be happy.”·

oh how she wished she could say she was surprised, but this exactly the kind of reaction she expected her mom to have. no one, not even mamma could calm her down, especially not now, especially not when she had someone to blame.

she could feel her body temperature rising, and not in the nice way, the ‘i’m gonna get lucky’-way, by now she was getting furious, mostly with her mom but just ever so slightly with sam.jamie was an adult, at least by law and she was perfectly capable of making her own decisions, even if some of them turned out messy. and so was sam, they knew what they were risking when they spend that first night together, sure they didn’t have a lengthy conversation about the consequences it would have but they knew what they were doing.

just for a second she stopped the walking to look at him, these weren’t the circumstances she expected those words in. she bit her bottom lip, harder than she should really. “i-“ she wanted to say them back, she really did but she didn’t want to be more vulnerable than she already was.

“what did you say?” she was still somewhat in shock because of those three stupid words but she quickly started walking around the room again. she was not going to be the girl who was going to get her heart broken just a few moments after admitting she was in love, she just wasn’t. part of the reason she couldn’t say it back, but dear god she hoped his answer wasn’t as depressing as shitty as the rest of this week, cause she really wanted to say it back.​

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

text ⇄ jamie ✰

elly: that might be able to solve some issue

elly: i'm sure there's a way to fix all of this

jamie: i'm getting a headache thinking about it.

jamie: i might look into it later but right now all i wanna do is eat ice cream and watch horror movies.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

text ⇄ jamie ✰

elly: i'm not a rebel

elly: i just think that if i were in his position i would want to see if there was some way i could work it out. like maybe not lose his job, but transfer him to another school.

elly: or swithc your english class, there's plenty of ways to keep you two apart inn a professional sense

jamie: i don't know, i couldn't get a word in with the dean and i'm guessing sam couldn't either.

jamie: i can always see if i can switch english class.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

text ⇄ jamie ✰

elly: i guess you have a point

elly: personally i think he should fight the system

elly: oh i don't know about that

jamie: since when are you a rebel?

jamie: i guess i can talk to him about it.

jamie: you are, at least right now.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

willajade‌:

I suppose, but i think we’re both kinda bias

i guess, but sporty spice has always been one of my favorite’s, along with posh spice.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

prof-evans‌:

sam let his eyes fall closed for a few moments, his index finger rubbing the space between his eyebrows. trying desperately to get the older woman’s words out of his head to no avail. he kept his eyes low for the most part, either staring in one spot on his desk or looking down at the ground.·

nodding a little jamie’s words. she had a point, he was still alive which was definitely a plus and probably more than he was expecting if he was honest.·“mmhm.” not really an answer but it was all he could muster at that point in time.·

swallowing hard as the girl made her way over to his desk, his stomach dropping as her body did the same into the seat opposite him.·“not even a little,” he admitted, his eyes lifting to look over her face and searching for any indication of how she was feeling.·“you?”

a little bit of relief washed over him as he heard that she would only have to redo some of her assignments. it might not have been much but it did make him feel a little bit better. “that’s good - really good.” he nodded along with his words.

“what in the world did my mom say to you?“ jamie blurted out, she wanted to know, maybe it would help her prepare for what was going to happen once her mother got to her. plus she had never seen sam this silent and she knew how scary her mother could be. but mostly she was just curious.

usually jamie had a plan for everything and the fact that she didn’t have a plan for this was freaking her out. and when she was freaking out she usually avoided eye contact, started rambling and tapping her feet, so far she was doing two out of tree and the rambling could start any second.

“i don’t know,” she took a breathe before she stood up again, she started walking back and forth through the room. “i’m angry, sad, mostly confused.” it was the best she could do with words, god she felt like punching a wall and crying at the same time.

through all of this there was really only one thing she wanted to know, “what are we? are we still a thing or not.” just a few days ago he called himself her boyfriend,something which made her incredibly happy at that moment. “cause if we’re not i kinda wanna know.” she didn’t really, she wanted to pretend everything was fine and that nothing had changed at all but that certainly was out of the question.

[madnessiskey]

You (2018), dir. Victoria Mahoney Season 1 Episode: The Captain 

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

prof-evans‌:

sam had not long finished up an extremely vocal conversation with santana, one of the biggest fears sam had about returning to his office, even if it was to pack up his things, was that people would know where to find him. or more importantly, santana would know where to find him. he hadn’t heard from her at all since the news broke and something in him told him that was worse than hearing from her, and that intuition proved correct when she did finally get to unleash on him. of course, it was nothing that sam wasn’t expecting - but that didn’t make things feel any better.

the moment santana stormed back out, just as fast as she’d entered, sam collapsed into his chair. his head falling down into his hands. he knew he’d fucked up, but the things santana had said - though some spat in spanish - burned in his mind, because he knew that for the most part, they were true. 

sam tried to take a few deep breaths, his eyes growing cloudy and stinging a little as they began to water, trying to process what had just happened when he heard the door open and close abruptly. expecting to see santana’s face once again, he was surprised by it in fact being her daughter. 

clearing his throat as he ran one hand through his hair, trying to move it from his face. “you just missed your mom.” the words fell out reluctantly, they’d been in this room alone together countless times but nothing had ever felt like this. “how did your meeting with the dean go?”

by the look on his face she couldn’t have picked a worse time to check up on sam and her heart sank a little when sam said her mom had just dropped by, so far she had been able to avoid her mom, hiding out at isla’s was certainly helping. but god the voicemails her mom had left her were terrifying, her mother sounded calm in the voicemails, expressing disappointment, those were honestly worse than the first few ones she had left which were mostly filled with screaming.

“well she didn’t kill you which is a good thing.“ fuck, everyone could see sam wasn’t happy right now, he was never this reserved, usually he could ramble on about a situation for hours, even if he hated said situation. she took a few steps closer and sat down on the other chair.

“are you okay?” she started fidgeting with fingers as she looked down, their relationship till this point had been fun mostly, some serious conversations here and there but mostly fun, they didn’t have to deal with some huge fight and the awkward silence came afterwards, she had no idea how to deal with this.

jamie took a deep breathe “better than expected, just need to redo some assignment.” it felt unfair compared to what sam had to deal with, probably why she felt so guilty over everything that happened.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

text ⇄ jamie ✰

elly: but surely you can fight something. it was consensual between two adults despite it being inappropriate for his job.

elly: you really are, maybe you are the smartest lopierce

jamie: it's his job, if he wants to fight it i'm obviously gonna support him, but it's his choice.

jamie: we all know you're defiantly the smartest.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

willajade‌:

My dad was cleaning out his like man cave work area, idk what it is, but he found a DVD from glee competitions, and stuff from new directions back in the day, and lemme just say, my momma was hot at ginger spice and wannabee is still a bop please try and chance my opinion. 

while i agree that your mom made a great ginger spice i still think sporty spice was defiantly the hottest one there that day.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

iMESSAGE 📲 J 🌸

SAM: i won't be, honestly i'm probably going to have a little trouble remembering it that's how hard it is

SAM: hm, that's probably true too. you better rate me at least 5 stars every trip

JAMIE: i can't just rate you 5 stars every time, only if i'm extremely pleased with the ride.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

@prof-evans

jamie was amazed that she had made her way to campus without anyone stopping her to question her, obviously she noticed the looks, the whispering around her when she walked past a group of people. so far her day had been crappy. the dean wasn’t as nice as he seemed on the outside. luckily the only consequence she had to deal with was redoing every english assignment she had made this year, not as bad as she expected it to be and thank god he didn’t mention the fact that she had been skipping classes since the news broke.

out of that entire conversation there was really only that she remembered, apparently sam was cleaning out his office today, so without thinking even one second about it she had made her way towards sam’s office. usually she knocked but this time she she opened the door and bust in, mainly because she wanted to get out of that damn long hallway.

she quickly closed the door behind her before she leaned her back lean against it, shutting her eyes for a second before looking at sam who seemed more surprised that she was there than happy. “i’m probably the last person you wanna see right now,“ it was all she could think of right now, standing there in silence wasn’t going to do them any good. “but umh, the dean said you were cleaning out your office and i though i’d check up on you.“

normally by now she was already pressing a kiss on his cheek, however usually when she came in here she was either filled with questions about the assignment or just excited to see him, right now she was just scared, “maybe you could use some help with packing up.“

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

iMESSAGE 📲 J 🌸

SAM: no names this time. i did think about making it dwightkschrute but i used my better judgement and went with something else

SAM: helps that you're cute too i guess.

JAMIE: i swear if you get hacked again i'm gonna kill you.

JAMIE: thanks, although i do feel like you won't be working much if i'm your passenger.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

iMESSAGE 📲 J 🌸

SAM: nope, i don't think anyone would ever guess it

SAM: yeah that's true, definitely a plus

JAMIE: are there any names in your password?

JAMIE: and you'll have me as your most loyal costumer which is defiantly a plus.

[jamielopezpierce-blog]

iMESSAGE 📲 J 🌸

SAM: it's a lot harder now, i promise. not that it really helps now but better to be safe than sorry

SAM: that's true, i'll make a killing $$$

JAMIE: so i'm not gonna guess this one within like 5 minutes.

JAMIE: and you can decide your own hours.