– ☆✯ intangible

✯☆ | — the very ( concept ) of s o l i d ground is a MYTH. the GALAXY itself is — adrift Jamie Dawson | 26 y.o. | Human | Slave | Math Major | Literature Minor { Belongs to Jeremy Marlow }

[jamiexdawson]

abbixwestfield:

“Okay now you’re making it sound like I’m watching from up in a tree across the street with night vision goggles and binoculars” she joked, rolling her eyes playfully. Abbi was glad that Jamie did understand, even if it was just to an extent. For all of her comfort with the occasional exhibitionism, she valued those private moments too and respected that same desire in her friends. One of the things that made her powers suck so much.

“I just don’t..want to be pushy. I’m worried, and I’m scared, but you’re obviously fine so..I need to just accept that. I know” That didn’t stop her from assuming the worst though, from holding him just a little tighter as her cheek rested to his shoulder. “It’s okay..really. I am sorry Jaim. I’ve taken something worth celebrating and turned it on it’s bloody heel here. Let’s go get a beer or something, yeah? This is a happy occasion”

A genuine laugh escaped Jamie at Abbi’s comment and he pretended to look at her suspiciously. “Are you saying you’re not? Because as creepy as that would be, I’m not sure I could really hold it against you. Live, free porn with two hot guys like me and Jeremy? I’m just saying, I’m sure lots of people would enjoy the show,” he teased. He trusted Abbi to never take advantage of her power like that which made it easier for him to joke about, even if the thought of her getting those visions were still something he had to wrap his head around.

He sighed softly and tightened his arms around her as well when he felt her do so. He felt guilty for making her worried but he imagined she would only be more worried for him if she knew what had happened. “It is a happy occasion but it’s okay that you’re worried,” he assured her. “I am fine, though. A beer would be nice, I’ve missed you.” He pulled back from the embrace to ruffle her hair, sending her a smile.

[jamiexdawson]

slaveemilia:

Emilia slipped down from Teddy’s saddle in order to stroke the dog with a smile. “He’s cute” the redhead smiled, reaching to stroke Teddy and remove his reigns, letting him know he was free to explore. He was well behaved and always came back when she called. “There are lots of horses in the stables, some barely get ridden, if you every fancy it…”

“Thanks,” Jamie replied, choosing to keep Copper on a leash just in case. “I think he knows that, always uses it to get his way.” The dog was excited to meet the girl, barking happily as she stroked him. Jamie looked up at her with slightly raised eyebrows when she mentioned the horses in the stables. “Oh, well, while it’d be nice for them to get out more, I’m not really good with horses. I don’t think I’ve ever tried riding one so... might be a better suggestion for someone else.”

[jamiexdawson]

littlexcharliexrose:

Breaking into a bright smile at the sight of him, Charlie quickly sat up and nodded, waving at the space beside her. “Jamie! Yeah! Of course, please! It has been a while since I’ve seen anyone. It’s…. I’m still adjusting to being back.” Her smile softening as he lowered down beside her, the oversized hoodie she wore nearly swallowing her. “How are you?”

Jamie felt a twinge of guilt when Charlie talked about being back as he realized he had no idea where she had been. He had been so caught up in his own life that he hadn’t managed to keep track of anyone else in this place. “Where, uh, have you been?” he asked awkwardly as he sat down next to her. “I’m good, I guess. As good as you can be in this place at least.”

[jamiexdawson]

jeremymarlow:

Jeremy just couldn’t stop smiling. The beautiful gift of the photo album for his birthday from the man he loved was one thing, but having Jamie say he wanted to turn one day, that was the best gift Jeremy could ever get. He certainly didn’t want to subject his love to an eternity as a bloodthirsty monster, but to actually get eternity with him, that was the true gift. To have and love Jamie forever, not one day inevitably lose him to the short life of a human, that was what made the vampire so happy.

“Of course, whenever you’re ready, not a moment sooner. I didn’t think you actually meant right now this second, like you were waiting for me to bite you or something.” Jeremy chuckled, still showering his boyfriend in kisses as he leaned into the touch of Jamie’s fingers through his hair. “I promise I’ll help you. You won’t have to go through what I did. I’ll help you and so will Lexi. Being a vampire won’t be a bad thing, I won’t let it be.” Jeremy promised, holding Jamie tighter, his hands stroking up and down his fiance’s back lovingly.

“Well, you can bite me if you want,” Jamie said with a playful smirk. “It’s your birthday after all. As long as you don’t drain me I’d say we’re good.” His face fell slightly when he said that, thoughts about how he actually had to die to come back scaring him. He wanted this, he was sure of that but it still came with a lot of concerns. It wasn’t time for them to talk about those now, though, Jeremy’s birthday should be a happy occasion so Jamie pushed those thoughts aside and leaned in to nuzzle his nose against his fiancé’s neck.

“Don’t wanna be so old that people are gonna assume I’m your dad for all eternity but I’m not sure this is the right place to do it.” There was always something happening in this place, punishments and events meant to break him and he was still a slave after all. If he ever lost control and killed someone, he couldn’t imagine what they would do to him after seeing what they had done to Jeremy who was a master. He also imagined they’d both be in a lot of trouble if this place found out that Jeremy had turned someone. “I know you will,” Jamie smiled softly when Jeremy said he would help him through it. “Just... don’t sugarcoat it. It won’t be awful but I know it might not be all rainbows and sunshine either. I want you to be honest with me, okay? You’re not gonna scare me into regretting this decision but I need to know what I’m agreeing to here.”

[jamiexdawson]

What's your biggest worry lately?

“For things to get bad again, I guess. They’re not ideal at the moment, obviously. There’s still a lot of shit I have to sort through. But I’m better and the thought of going back to that place again… I don’t think I could.”

[jamiexdawson]

jeremymarlow:

For a long moment, Jeremy was distracted by Jamie’s lips against his, kissing him was always a distraction. So it took a while for the vampire to stop himself and just focus on their conversation. But when he did, his fiance’s words sunk in. Forever. Jamie wanted forever with him, wanted it to be literal not just a figure of speech. It had Jeremy floored. He stared for a moment in shock before his sensitive hearing picked up the nervous race of his boy’s heart and it was like the world snapped back into focus.

Instantly Jeremy was surging forward once more, pulling Jamie into a deep kiss again, only this time it was so full of passion, love and joy. The vampire couldn’t stop his smile or the way he nodded, holding Jamie tighter, dragging him onto his lap and uncaring that he spilled most of his breakfast onto their deck when he’d dragged Jamie forward. “You’re sure? You really want that, with me? To be with me?” He asked, needing the words repeated, to know that this was definitely what Jamie wanted. “You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready. I’lll never rush you or pressure you remember, I said you never had to want it and I’d love you just the same anyway.”

Jamie waited nervously as Jeremy stared at him. He didn’t think the vampire had changed his mind and didn’t want to turn him anymore but he still wasn’t sure what reaction to expect from him. A kiss was far from the most unlikely reactions but somehow it still caught Jamie off guard, making him gasp into Jeremy’s mouth. Feeling all the emotions his fiancé poured into the kiss, he couldn’t help but smile as well. His smile widened when Jeremy pulled him onto his lip, a small chuckle leaving him when he heard their breakfast fall to the ground.

Carding his fingers through the vampire’s red locks, he looked at him with adoration when he listened to him remind Jamie again that he didn’t want him to feel pressured. He leaned in to stop him from speaking further by pressing their lips together again, the kiss soft and sweet as he breathed in Jeremy’s scent. “I’m sure. I’m not ready for it to actually happen yet,” Jamie admitted. “There are things I want to talk about and maybe I even want to wait until we’re not on this island. But I want it. Someday. Yeah.”

[jamiexdawson]

jeremymarlow:

Jeremy never thought much of his birthday, it was a day he’d never really celebrated but since meeting Jamie, it felt different, like celebrating it actually meant something. Before it had just been the day to mark the day he was born, every year getting older, now he felt like he could understand why people threw parties and celebrated with loved ones. It still didn’t really hit him he was turning 100 years old, a whole century alive or well, undead. It was surreal. 

When Jamie handed him a wrapped package over breakfast, Jeremy smiled, opening it with excitement. As his eyes landed on the photo album that had been beautifully decorated, his favourite picture of them sat on the cover. His eyes turned to pure love and adoration as he flicked through the pages with all the different pictures of their life together so far. When he reached the quote, Jeremy read it and smiled before he leaned over and pulled his fiance into a deep lingering kiss. “Thank you baby, this is perfect. I can’t wait to fill in the rest of this together.” Jeremy smiled against Jamie’s lips and kissed him again. 

Jamie watched as Jeremy flicked through the pages, smiling as his eyes glanced between his fiancé and the photos of them together. As he got closer to the quote, Jamie got more nervous and his smile fell as he bit his bottom lip worriedly instead. He wasn’t sure why he was this nervous, knowing that they both wanted it but it was a big decision so he supposed it made sense. He returned Jeremy’s kiss, his hands reaching up to cup his jaw as he let himself give into it for a moment.

“Me too,” he agreed, his lips lingering on the vampire’s for a moment before he pulled back so he could look at him. “But... the part that stood out to me, it wasn’t just that this is the beginning of our lives together. It was the part about forever.” He swallowed nervousy, his fingers brushing along Jeremy’s skin as he hesitated for a second. “That’s what I want. Forever. With you.”

[jamiexdawson]

slaveemilia:

Emilia took the opportunity of a free day to ride Teddy down to the beach. Alex was working, and she hadn’t been on a proper horse ride in a while. It was time they both stretched their legs. The large, black horse slowed as they reached the beach, walking at the waters edge. Emilia turned as she heard someone speak, missing what was actually spoken. “I’m sorry..?”

Jamie was walking along the shore with Copper, something he did often. What was unusal about this day was seeing a woman further up the beach sitting on a horse and his dog barked in excitement, instantly taking off towards them. He hadn’t put a leash on him since they were used to being by themselves so Jamie quickly called for him and followed him, managing to get Copper to stop, albeit reluctantly, before he reached the rider. He leaned down to attach the leash to his dog’s collar, looking up when he heard the woman speak. “Oh, I was just talking to Copper here, he’s, uh, never seen a horse, I think so he’s pretty excited.”

[jamiexdawson]

littlexcharliexrose:

The breeze was nice, but the peace was nicer. Out by the gardens the sound of the running water nearby was calming, the grass beneath her soft, the sun warming pale skin and the breeze keeping sweat at bay. Comfortable, relaxed, the shifting patterns of light on the inside of her eyelids reflected the pattern of brief shadows that flitted across her where the sun couldn’t reach her through gentle rustling leaves. The sound of a footstep catching her attention, Charlie was too smart to keep her guard down that much, and thusly opened her eyes to see who was coming near. 

It had taken a while for Jamie to get back into the routine of daily life on this island. After everything had happened, he had stayed at home for a while only to slowly start venturing out for class and work. While Jeremy had been a big support, eventually Jamie had started missing talking to other people as well so he had recently attempted to socialize more. Walking through the gardens, he spotted a familiar face. Talking to someone he knew seemed less frightening than a stranger so he made his way over to the girl lying on the grass. “Hey,” he greeted as Charlie opened her eyes. “You mind if I join you? It’s been a while.”‘

[jamiexdawson]

[vemonsxmuses]

Open Door || Clay&Jamie

[jamiexdawson]

wolfpsyche:

Clay nodded when Jamie said he wasn’t sure he wanted Jeremy in a session, that he didn’t think he could talk to him about this stuff. “That’s alright. People make such a big deal about telling a partner everything, about no secrets and while yes that is good, everyone is allowed to have secrets even from the person they love the most. As long as that secret doesn’t involve them in some way. This is how you feel Jamie and you don’t have to share it with anyone, though it can help to unload. I’ll be the first to admit that I am the worst for bottling things up and keeping my feelings to myself. It’s unhealthy and I know it, but it can’t always be helped.” The wolf spoke, leaning back in his seat as he watched the other male. His brow rose when Jamie said he didn’t care how the boy felt. “Is that what you really think? That I don’t care how you feel and so its easier to talk to me?” He asked. “Do you have an outlet Jamie? Something you do that helps with stress relief? I run, sometimes for hours with music or not, but I find it helps me clear my mind. Some people draw or play music.”

Jamie nodded quietly before he reconsidered Clay’s words another time and spoke up. “It’s not really a secret, though. He knows that I tried to... he knows what I did. So I’m sure he knows I’m not doing all that well. The thoughts and feelings I don’t share with him, it’s just to avoid hurting him.” He watched the therapist silently for a moment when he asked whether Jamie thought that he didn’t care. He wasn’t sure what to think, whether Clay cared about him or just about his job but it didn’t really matter when it came to his answer. “What I mean is, even if you do care, sharing these things with you won’t hurt you the way it would hurt Jeremy.” Jamie fell silent for a minute, feeling his chest tighten at the thought of what he had put his boyfriend through. “He was the one who found me. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like... what he felt coming home to see me like that... I’ve hurt him so much already. I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”

He shook his head in an attempt to clear his head of these thoughts, choosing to think about Clay’s question of an outlet instead. “I draw. Haven’t done it since that happened, though. But I used to at least. And I like to do math which usually gets some surprised reactions from people but focusing on it helps clear my head, I guess.”

[jeremymarlow]

Take Your Breath Away

[jamiexdawson]

jeremymarlow:

The vampire moaned at each teasing touch of his boyfriend’s fingers across his body, easily picturing what Jamie described. When he felt Jamie suck on his tongue his moan only grew deeper, definitely liking the idea of a pierced tongue and how that would feel when he sucked his fiancé off or traced his hole with his tongue. “Would feel so good, you pressing me into the metal, fucking me hard.” Jeremy groaned, his hips jerking back when he felt that teasing touch to his hole, desperate for more but knowing he wouldn’t get it, not yet. 

He easily took the way Jamie suddenly started thrusting harder into his mouth, moaning around his cock at the feeling. One thing the vampire was always glad for with regards to his species, was his lack of need for air, it certainly made doing this for Jamie easier, and even he could enjoy it more without needing to breathe. That sharp tug to his hair and the harder press of Jamie’s foot had Jeremy whining in pleasure around his boyfriend’s cock, only pulling back when he felt the way Jamie urged him and heard his words. Without pause, Jeremy moved to straddle his fiancé’s lap, kissing Jamie hard as he ground his hips down against Jamie’s own with a growl. 

“Yeah, fuck,” Jamie agreed with a moan. “This needs to be a thing. Tattoos and piercings and a car and me fucking you everywhere. All the time.” He kissed down Jeremy’s neck, nipping playfully at his skin. “We’d might have to quit our jobs. Don’t like the thought of wasting any moment I can be with you.” Jamie knew people would likely just say this was a honeymoon phase for them - if there was such a thing after a proposal - but he couldn’t imagine not wanting to be around the vampire one day, not wanting to touch him and kiss him.

Jamie’s hips jerked when his boyfriend whined around his cock and he felt dangerously close to cumming, making his tug to Jeremy’s hair more insistent. He moaned into the kiss as the vampire straddled him, placing his hands on Jeremy’s ass as he rocked his hips up to meet his grinding. “God, you’re perfect,” he breathed, squeezing his ass appreciatingly. “Though far too overdressed.” He unzipped his boyfriend’s pants with one hand, the other dipping into his pants around the back, fingers teasing along the edge.

[jamiexdawson]

abbixwestfield:

“There you go, much better. See you’re already standing a little straighter” she teased, then burst out laughing at the look of horror on his face. “Yes, I see things. It’s not like I’m purposefully looking for the Jeremy and Jamie porn hour or anything, but if I happen to touch something where said freaky things have happened..there’s a chance I’m gonna see something. Don’t worry though, I keep it to myself. I don’t want things getting weird between us all either” she smirked. She hated it as much as the next guy, and hoped that Jamie understood she didn’t have control over what she saw and when she saw it.

Abbi’s eyes flared when Jamie went into that self-protective position that she knew and used all too often herself. “I..I’m sorry..” she whispered, jumping off the counter and approaching him again. “You know that I would never do that, don’t you? I would never violate your privacy that way. I just..I have a feeling something really bad happened, and I didn’t know about it. If I’m just being paranoid, so be it. Wouldn’t be the first time. And I totally understand if you don’t want to talk about it. Just know when, and if, you’re ready..that I’m here for you. I love you Jaim..” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him once again.

Jamie tried to take in the information that Abbi saw Jeremy and his sex life in her visions. He knew she couldn’t control what she saw and Jamie and Jeremy didn’t really have anything to hide from her but it still felt like a violation of privacy, especially since their home was the only place he usually felt like he wasn’t being watched. Abbi hadn’t asked for this either, though, so while he hated the thought of it, he couldn’t blame her for it. “I know you wouldn’t tell,” he sighed. “I trust you. I guess if anyone’s gonna spy on us having sex, it’s best that it’s you. I’m sure you’ve done your fair share of freaky stuff as well,” he teased halfheartedly.

Thinking about Abbi’s visions, Jamie took comfort in the fact that Jeremy had entirely remade their bathroom. That way she wouldn’t see what had happened, what he had done, if she used it while visiting. “Don’t be sorry,” he objected with a shake of his head. “You’re not... being paranoid. You’re just being a good friend for worrying.” Jamie wanted to be a good friend in return, talk to her about what had happened, she deserved that but he simply couldn’t. “Maybe someday,” he said in a quiet voice, returning her embrace. “I’m just not ready. I’m sorry. I’d tell you if I could.”

[jeremymarlow]

Take Your Breath Away

[jamiexdawson]

jeremymarlow:

“Hell yeah. Would love you fucking me in that again.” Jeremy moaned with a nod, definitely eager to see Jamie in that soldier’s costume once again. He smirked when Jamie jerked from his teasing fingers, already imagining how hot Jamie would look with that bar of metal through his nipple, how it would feel against his tongue. “Think I’d look good with anything pierced baby? Or just all sweaty and bent over a car for you?” He purred. Whenever Jamie talked dirty to him it always made Jeremy get hot all over, made him want everything his boyfriend described and now was no different. “Fuck….Do it. Want you to do it baby.” He moaned deeply at the thought of being plugged full of Jamie’s cum, of his fiancé being able to just fuck straight back into him whenever he wanted.

Jeremy easily allowed Jamie to fuck up into his mouth harder if he wanted, groaning softly at the feeling of his love’s cock slipping in deeper when his hips moved. He scratched lightly at Jamie’s thighs, eyes watching him closely until he felt Jamie’s foot press against his aching cock, making Jeremy moan deeper around Jamie’s cock, rocking his hips down against the pressure, seeking friction. 

“Me too,” Jamie agreed. At the question of whether Jeremy would look good with anything pierced, he let his hands run down his boyfriend’s body. “Anywhere. You could pull off anything, I’m sure. Your nipples pierced would look really fucking hot when you’re working, though, wearing those shorts of yours. Or your tongue. Bet that’d feel good.” Jamie leaned in to kiss the vampire, sucking suggestively on his tongue. “But you should definitely still be sweaty and bent over a car.” He couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed that they didn’t have a plug he could use on Jeremy out here but he wasn’t willing to go get one inside the house. They’d have to save it for another time. Still, just to show his boyfriend what he had waiting for him, Jamie pressed two of his fingers against Jeremy’s hole.

He loved how well the vampire could take his cock, how Jamie could fuck his mouth as hard as he wanted without worrying that he couldn’t breathe and he took advantage of that fact, thrusting faster and deeper down his throat. Jamie swore quietly when his boyfriend scratched at his thighs, a louder groan leaving him when he felt Jeremy moan around his cock. “Fuck, Jer...” He tugged appreciatingly on his hair, pressing his foot harder to his crotch. “C’mere.” He pulled on his hair again, hinting this time for him to join Jamie on the seat.

[jamiexdawson]

abbixwestfield:

“I’m just full of good points. And I think that you would make a most perfect god, you should own your godliness” she grinned, taking his face in her hands and placing a kiss to each cheek. It wasn’t just lines that she was feeding him, she really had missed him and had been worried. A little hurt as well even, as she thought they had been better friends. She didn’t expect to know about every aspect of his life of course, but a little hey I’m still alive would have been nice. She brushed it off though, giving herself a shake. He was fine, happy and healthy, and that was really all that she needed to know. 

“Now that’s what I like to hear” she grinned, then went into full face palm mode at his joke. “Yeah I’m sure enough of that happens at your place. I’ve been there, I’ve touched things. I know” Abbi chuckled. The girl lowered her hand just in time to see her friend’s face fall, her own features drawing into a frown when his explanation didn’t even come close to matching his expression. “Jamie..what are you not telling me? Do I have to go around touching shit to get some answers? Don’t get me wrong love, I’m so happy that you guys are together and that this is happening for you. But..I just don’t like being kept in the dark. It’s your life, it’s your business, and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But..I hope that you will..”

“Yeah?” Jamie grinned. “God of what? Badassery?” His face fell when Abbi said she had touched things in their home and knew about what went down when she wasn’t there and he looked at her with his eyebrows raised. “Wait. You’re joking, right? Is this a trap attempting me to get to confess to all the freaky things we do? You don’t, like, actually see it, do you?” He knew that Abbi could get those kinds of visions but the thought of her seeing him and Jeremy be intimate was pretty odd and something he wasn’t sure how he felt about.

It likely wasn’t Abbi’s intention to make Jamie feel guilty but it was impossible for him not to. She deserved to know yet he couldn’t bring himself to tell her. It wasn’t personal, though, he didn’t want to tell anyone. At her question of whether she had to start touching things to get answers, Jamie instinctively wrapped his arms around his waist, his fingers clutching onto the material of his shirt. “It’s not... it’s not that I don’t want to,” he sighed, unable to meet her eyes. “A lot has happened. I’ve been in a really bad place and I just don’t know if I can talk about it. With you, with anyone.”

[jeremymarlow]

Take Your Breath Away

[jamiexdawson]

jeremymarlow:

“Me either, especially Halloween, you in a soldier’s costume. Fuck, it just get’s me hard in a second.” Jeremy smirked, his thoughts drifting to the sight of Jamie dressed that way and the way his fiancé had acted for him to top it all off. “I think you’d look really good with a nipple piercing, they say they make your nipples really sensitive.” Jeremy replied, deliberately teasing one of Jamie’s nipples with a brush of his fingers. As Jamie described what he’d do with a car, Jeremy moaned, hips bucking into Jamie’s hand more. “A 1969 Mustang would have a great hood for you to do that, and gorgeous leather seats too.” He smirked before his fiancé’s next description had the vampire groaning even more, chasing Jamie’s hips with his own. “Fuck yeah, we can do that, would love fucking you like that, would make you cum so hard, fill me up good.” He growled against Jamie’s lips.

As soon as Jamie started to fuck his mouth, Jeremy relaxed in order to take whatever the other gave him, letting Jamie do it as hard as he liked. He moaned appreciatively for each tug to his hair and sucked hard around Jamie’s cock.

“Yeah?” Jamie returned the vampire’s smirk, remembering the night he mentioned clearly. “Think I should get it out again soon maybe? See if it still fits?” If it was something Jeremy wanted, he’d do it in a second but Jamie had to admit he enjoyed the thought of it as well, that he definitely wouldn’t mind a repeat of that night. His breath jerked as Jeremy teased one of his nipples and he raised his eyebrows curiously. “A nipple piercing, huh? Bet it’d go well with all my tattoos,” he grinned, leaning in to nip along his boyfriend’s jaw playfully. “Mm, any car you want babe, though I’ll admit the thought of you driving a mustang is pretty fucking hot. Gonna make you change the oil on it all the time, just to see you bent over the hood, all dirty and sweating,” Jamie smirked before nodding his agreement to Jeremy’s statement of how hard he would cum. “So fucking hard, I’d plug you up after, keep you wet and open. Then once I’m ready to go another round I can just slide right back into you.”

Jamie’s gaze was locked on the sight of Jeremy on his knees, the way his lips stretched around his cock, the red locks of hair in between his fingers. He couldn’t believe that he was going to marry this man but he felt so lucky and happy at the thought. As Jeremy moaned around his cock, the vibrations shooting through Jamie’s cock made him moan as well, his hips bucking harder into the vampire’s mouth. “Fuck, you’re so good at that,” he breathed. “Love your mouth so much.” He ran his fingers through Jeremy’s hair appreciatingly, moving his foot to lightly press the arch against his fiancé’s crotch.

[vemonsxmuses]

Open Door || Clay&Jamie

[jamiexdawson]

wolfpsyche:

“Living with my guilt? About five years now. But if I’m honest, it feels like a lifetime. Even someone like me who knows all about how guilt works, how the mind processes loss and emotions, and every intricacy of survivor’s guilt, still can’t help but fall into those mental traps. I often catch myself thinking about what ifs and wondering if maybe things had been different how my life might be now. But we shouldn’t let ourselves think like that.” Clay spoke. “What you need to try and focus on Jamie is the positives. Cliche and as hard as it seems, it will help. When you find yourself thinking that you’re ashamed because you made that decision, think to yourself I’ve got the chance to make a different choice now.” The wolf advised. He nodded when Jamie said he tried to distract himself and that he didn’t have someone to talk to about it all. “That’s what I’m here for, but you only need to talk to me about what you want to talk about, what you’re comfortable with. Don’t think just because I’m a therapist that I’m going to make you dredge up dark memories from the past or force you to talk about you attempted suicide and how it made you feel. The sessions are self driven, but of course I’ll guide when necessary.” He explained. Well seeing as his joke fell flat, Clay didn’t bother with another, turning his attitude strictly professional. He wasn’t one to usually do so, but if someone was uncomfortable around him he would. “An option would be to have Jeremy attend a session with you, if it would help you relax.”

Jamie wasn’t sure how to feel about Clay’s reply. Five years wasn’t a long time compared to an entire lifespan but at the same time, the thought of feeling the way he had felt for the last couple of months for several years to come was daunting. Clay made it sound so simple when he said that they shouldn’t let themselves think about the what ifs but Jamie knew it was far from simple. He had to refrain from snorting when the therapist said he had to focus on the positives, thinking to himself that he could easily become a therapist as well if that’s all the advice you needed to give. However, as Clay continued to talk, pointed out that instead of Jamie feeling ashamed, he should focus on making a difference choice now, it did make slightly more sense to him. He wasn’t sure if he could do it but he could see how it might work, in theory. Nodding when Clay said that it was up to him what they talked up, Jamie’s mind started running for a moment before the mention of Jerermy made his attention shift back to the office. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” Jamie said quietly. “I can’t really talk to him about these things.” He knew that pretending like it hadn’t happened wasn’t ideal either but he wasn’t sure how to talk about any of this without both Jeremy and himself getting upset. “I guess that’s the advantage about talking to you. You don’t really care about how I feel.” He imagined that the other male might have a professional interest in how he felt but Jamie wouldn’t hurt him by talking about these things, not the way he would hurt Jeremy and he saw that as a good thing.