i'm really a Mermaid

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[kushandwizdom]

When people treat you like they don’t care, believe them.

Unknown, (via kushandwizdom)

[janinasaspa]

That is why always be kind even if the world is unkind. #quotes #calligraphy #black #life #vsco #pen #handmade #ph #words

[hippiesispunkz]

[janinasaspa]

i’ve always thought how it is to get lost inside your head until I did. It’s a very dangerous place to be in cause you might not want to leave.

[rizz0-deactivated20150906]

[janinasaspa]

We have expectations. That I know.

[janinasaspa]

Sometimes

Someone told me once that my eyes reflect some sort of sadness. A pure loneliness that he can't quite understand. He asked me why can someone be surrounded with so many people be that lonely.

So I turned and stared. I explained my sadness by telling him that that's just the way I am. I am not quite sure why I was still hoping that someone will understand this sadness that envelops me all the time. 

It's like being trapped in a snow ball without snow or anything. Just me and the glass. The feeling of being exposed to the world too much has inflicted me so much sadness.

I'd like to say that it's called melancholy. There is a natural softness to it. Being melancholic means possessing beauty means being sad.

I don't know when can I stop being sad. Maybe at the end of this all-- I can be happy.

Someone told me that I should stop caring for what people might say if I finally choose to be happy. Maybe I am used to being unhappy that it doesn't take a lot to make me happy. I was happy when I painted my own unicorn paper mache and I was 24 then.

Maybe my happiness can be like the happiness of a 4 year old child. Maybe it doesn't take a lot for me to grasp happiness. 

Someone told me that I am lucky that my happiness belongs to a child. That I can easily turn up with a smile. I can be the girl with sad eyes but with a happy smile.

I have to grow up sad and maybe I am just waiting to be happy. How would I know what it takes to have happy eyes?

I've grown with this pair and I won't change it for anything else.

So for that someone who took the time to stare and tell me something I already know. Yes, I have sadness in me and I don't know how to make it go away.

Maybe, Sylvia Plath and I have the same sentiments. Sadness is a very different kind of place to be in and sometimes you just get lost in it for a very long time.

[forgottenfeeelings]

[janinasaspa]

[janinasaspa]

Heleyna at Alabama see you in Escolta this saturday :)

[janinasaspa]

Designing things :) some of the stuff that I did recently :)

[janinasaspa]

New collection ❤️ surpriseeeee

[janinasaspa]

Tonight's thoughts

[janinasaspa]

Heleyna and monstercloset accessories!!! It's been a while since I made some resin. When I started it at 2009 they weren't acrylic based but nowwww they areeeeee so tadaaaa!! Will release them in a proper shoot. 🙌

[janinasaspa]

Started a new chapter in my life as a bridal consultant. I cannot ask for any other day job ✌️ at least it's still in line with what I want to really do and they ask me to design for the store too. It's a win-win situation haha

[janinasaspa]

New year new room :) diy paint on the monoblock (plastic) chair :) it's easy peasy! Just sand it up then paint it with semi gloss paint :)

[janinasaspa]

spontaneity

[janinasaspa]

There was

There was something wrong with how you used up words until you were empty to consume someone's entirety. It was how you swiftly cleaned up your back room full of dirty lies and magically turned them into butterflies. Lies that flutter in and out of my stomach; I knew something was amiss. Nobody knew you better than yourself and all I had to do was see it at show; backstage where nobody looked. You begged to disagree on how you treat the people you loved just the way you coined some struggling lonely poet. I knew I had to do a quick remedy to my misdemeanor. I had to untwine my fingers that were loosely locked from yours; before I forget that everything you build in lies can crumble cohesively at will. I fixed the mess before it begun; I unfolded the words as if I was a stranger to you. To undo it with words without knowing what I undid before you can even say 'I quit'. In your mind you knew that my uncertainties were beyond comprehensible... Just as you weren't sure of what is what and who is who. And so we can only say that definitely, there was...