Text Posts From Hell

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I am a Transgender boy named Lukas. my birth name is Alexis. i am 19 years old and love my family.

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Some people are only on this earth to big pharma or illuminti or some nullshit i'm fed up

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did you figure out the joke yet?

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the lawnmower h as not wor k. e d sinc e ju l y

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One time my father got drunk, beat me and my grandmother, turned into Jethro Tull and proceeded to urinate on us from on top of the counter. All in all it was a great vacation

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"...and now, Sir Lemon-Boy,"

“you will wash my knees and do my dishes!"

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How many more have to die before we realize spiders and mush-heads are wild animals that need to be put down

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there's nothing I love more than the screams of innocent little whoopie cushions

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A movie that stars the cast of the bill cosby show but Asian

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I wouldn't have driven half the distance I did if it weren't for my raging bloodlust against the jewish population of Wisconsin

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yo so i turn twentyone in nine months, it kinda feels like i am a fetus about to be born into a party god right now

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yo yo yo

ay your mom works at target

my rhymes are burning fire

i gave her a rim job

and she said “you’re hired”

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there’s no profit in testicle transportation, TRUST ME

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there’s gay, and then there’s homosexual.  how are you so blind to see the difference?  

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The love of Saddam Hussein is unforgivable, for we have all caught his nasty virus and will never reproduce fertile offspring

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my fat ass just won’t fit in these booty shorts.