♡ -> gi
19, she/they, sapphic, huge fan of cats [specifically my 4 babies], music enthusiast, nika muhl's wife, casual hockey watcher, enjoyer of all things taylor swift, 1989's biggest fan but a folklore girlie in my heart
not being funny but if i gave birth without pain relief or a doctor after eating my best friend to stay alive and literally everyone in my life started praying to my dead baby and acting as if they have some ownership over and connection to him that i dont even get to feel because i had to hold his tiny dead body in my arms and accept i'd never get a chance to know him i would also probably become the villian
mean shauna plz plz plz plz mean shauna who's possessive and controlling plz plz plz plz and ill love u forever !!
𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋𝐒 | 𝐒. 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐌𝐀𝐍
Kinks/Warnings: Mean!Shauna, Biting, Orgasm Denial, Dacryphilia, Object Insertion, Sub/Dom Dynamics, (Semi) Noncon, Blood Kink, Knife Play, (Minor) Daddy Kink, Impact Play, Spit as Lube, AFAB!R, No Aftercare/Comfort(?), Hunter/Prey Dynamics, Established Relationship, Not Proofread
A/N: Heh… I kind of like this (even tho it’s not proofread) aaaand, well, because writing mean Shauna is so fun! Remember guys requests are open all the time wink wonk send ‘em in wink wonk!
W/C: 1.9K
Shauna lost capture the bone. Shauna hates losing. So what better to do than walk around camp being a sour puss?
She’s glaring daggers at anyone who even so much as breathes in her direction.
“Loser says what?” Mari sings triumphantly. You snicker as Mari holds an ‘L’ over her forehead. Shauna rolls her eyes, seething with anger.
They should have some respect for their queen, Shauna thinks inwardly. (Grumbling aswell.) She grabs her journal, shuffling into her hut to write. The pencil scratches the paper rapidly. She’s focused, gripping the spine of the book. The fall chill causes the pages to fly around.
It was obvious that every page was full until there was no more room.
“You know,” Mari starts, twirling the ends of her hair, “For someone in such a position of power, she is such a sore loser. Is she always this way?”
You remember. Losing even scrimmage matches made her blood boil. Even with a thousand kisses and some head, she still wouldn’t forgive and forget.
“Remember when she poured a good ass milkshake in Lottie’s backpack?” Mari snickers. “She still won’t admit that she did it.”
You nod. “She spent $7 on that milkshake. From our favorite diner.”
Mari nudged you. “Your favorite diner? Oh Ms. Shipman, when's the wedding!” She pretends to be fainting, one hand on her forehead, other clutching her chest.
You get embarrassed and nudge her back. “Knock it off.” You mumble.
You sigh, lamenting. “I’m gonna talk to her.” Mari nods. “Approach with caution, soldier. Try not to get your head chopped off.”
You stand, and she leaves you off with a salute.
Knocking on the flimsy wood of Shauna’s hut felt awkward, so you just enter without a word.
“What the fuck?” Shauna growls. “Why are you here?”
You sit on one of the cushions, repurposed from the plane crash as seats for her hut. The Queen gets the best.
“I was just.. checking in.” You shrug. “Can’t I check in on my girlfriend?”
Shauna scoffs, rolling her eyes. “You may as well fuck Mari.” She mumbled under her breath.
“What was that?” You ask. Shauna furrows her brows. “Don’t think I didn’t see you. Practically fucking slapping labias with her. Laughing at her jokes.”
You scoff in disbelief. “You’re mad because I laughed at a joke? Jokes are funny. So yes, I’d laugh?”
Shauna slams her notebook shut. She stands up, looking down at you. “You should show respect.”
“Respect?” You question. “Im your Queen.” She states plainly.
You shrug, laughing while your eyes dart around. “Yeah. What should I do? Kiss your feet?” You joke. “I’ll leave you be.”
You stand up, walking towards the forest on a cleared path. It was marked with small stones that lead to an area towards camp.
Leaves crunched under your feet. As you walked further, there was no sound.
You’re alone, surrounded by humming cicadas, a chilly breeze and sounds of other small animals. You sat on a tree stump, taking in the view.
It’s quiet until you hear a branch crunch. You turn around, then back ahead when you see nothing.
Shauna is inching closer, her breath shaking excitedly. Her knife is holstered away in her shorts. She creeps behind you and when she gets close enough, she pounces.
You yelp as Shauna wrestles you down to the floor. She opens her mouth, teeth connecting to your neck hard.
“What the fuck?” You scream. She flips you onto your back after you struggle more. “Shauna? What is this?”
“Bow to your queen, bitch.” Shauna smiles sadistically. Her breath is hot and heavy. Before you can even complain, she crashes her lips onto yours.
Her hands are groping every part of your body. She kisses you like she hadn’t seen you for years. You kiss back, half moaning half yelping.
Teeth clashing, leaves crushing, and saliva spilling made you dizzy.
She forces her tongue into your mouth, licking inside your mouth. She grunts. She pulls back, chest rising and falling as she looks down at you.
“Stupid little girl doesn’t know her place,” Shauna scoffs. “I’ll fuckin’ show you.”
Shauna kisses you again, her touch bruising and relentless. The inside of your mouth tastes like blood. She bit your lip on purpose. The metallic taste makes her moan. She laps up the blood.
“Tastes so good.” She mumbles against your lips.
Her hand finds a way to your pants to unbutton them. You squirm away.
“Shauna.. ‘m sore from last time.” You complain.
“Shut the fuck up. I didn’t ask you to speak.” She barks.
Pulling away from your lips, she finds herself on top of you as she pulls your pants down halfway. Her thumb presses hard against your clit—the kind of harshness that makes you yelp.
She could feel that you were wet. Your clit twitching against her thumb told her everything she needed to know.
You whine, grabbing her wrist. “It hurts. I don’t want it.”
She slaps your hands away, pulling your panties to the side and plunging her ring and middle finger into your cunt.
“Hm, really?” She thrusts her fingers slowly, her pace agonizing. “Your pussy is so wet though? Guess you dont know what you need.”
Shauna continues her movements slowly, watching you hungrily the entire time. Your pussy was already achingly sore, but this makes it worse. Or better. Pain and pleasure go hand in hand for Shauna.
You didn’t know if you wanted more—or maybe less would be the best option right now. Shauna enjoys seeing your slick coating her fingers. She enjoys taking what she wants. She enjoys being ruthless while fucking you.
You’re so close to cumming. Shauna probably wouldn’t like that, but you needed it. However, she certainly wouldn’t be pleased by you acting in your own free will.
“Shauna please,” you whine. “I need—“
Slap.
Shauna slaps your cheek with her free hand. “I didn’t tell you to speak. But since you wanna be so bad.”
It makes you whine so loud. “I just need to cum!” You shout as if you’ve gone mad.
Slap.
“You dont cum until I fucking tell you to.” Shauna growls.
Shauna starts reaching for her knife and you panic. Your mind races with a million thoughts in one. Is she going to kill me? Is she just going to make me hurt?
She brings out her knife in all its worn out glory. The hilt of the knife was worn down from use, the blade was nearly dull, and Shauna’s evil smirk reflected in the knife.
The knife inches towards your cunt. Your chest rises and falls rapidly. You switch between holding your breath to brace yourself for anything Shauna might do, and breathing raggedly in anticipation of what Shauna might do.
The pointy tip of the knife drags against your clothed pussy, slowly but just enough to scare you. She looks up at you, smiling when she sees your expression.
But she thinks it’s not enough. So, she nudges the knife against your clit. Just to hear you yelp; to which you did and it makes her chuckle. She does it again, slowly so the pleasure washes over your body.
Your mind wonders, just wondering when she’ll be done when her knife cuts through the thin cloth of your underwear, leaving you very exposed. Your pussy was on display for her, your clit slightly swollen from her touch.
She smiles at the sight of your swollen pussy. “Hm, do you think you deserve lube, baby?” She questioned, her fingers wiping up your wetness.
You nod frantically. “Please Shauna.”
She scoffs. As if you actually had a choice.
Suddenly, she harshly shoves the hilt of the knife into your pussy. The stretch from the hilt burns. She doesn’t give you a second to adjust before she starts thrusting it up into you ruthlessly. You yelp out for her, holding her wrist to try to pull her away.
“Stupid fucking girl thinking she has a choice.” She says between heavy breaths and moans. “You’re too stupid to think clearly.”
Shauna fucks you like she can feel it. She imagines it was her dick instead of her knife. The hilt feels like it’s bruising your cervix. Would Shauna care even if it did? No. She wanted you to feel her for days.
Her unrelenting pace and the slightest nudge against your clit drives you crazy. You’re making a noise somewhere between a moan and a scream. Something deep from your chest coming up and out of your mouth.
Shauna knows it hurts. The thought of this hurting makes her feel so good. She’s moaning wildly, her hips bucking up against nothing. She’d been soaked from the start, but now? She could cum in her fucking pants.
“Shauna..” You mumble meekly, not meeting her gaze.
Shauna grips your chin, keeping her pace up. She turns your head to face her.
“What? You’re so fucking needy today.” Each of her words were punctuated with a hard thrust.
“..Need to cum.” You say, gasping and trying to look at what she was doing. She snaps your head back to attention.
“Really? How do you ask properly?” She coos. Too sweet for a changed woman like her.
You feel embarrassed. You struggle to get the words out. Three encouraging slaps are granted to your cheek that she’d slapped twice before.
“Please daddy. I need to cum. ‘M sorry for being so bad. I‘ll be so good for you. I promise. I’ll do anything you want.”
Her lips curl into a twisted smile. “Good fucking girl.” She praises.
She spits onto your cunt, granting you some sort of lube. Then she forces your mouth open to spit into your mouth.
She wanted every part of you ruined.
Her thrusts are now deep and hard. Your eyes roll back as you feel a pressure building up in your stomach. Your eyes are glassy and your lips are parted as you moan wildly.
She’s fucking you stupid and now you’re enjoying it.
Her name falls from your lips like a mantra, gripping her wrist to keep her there. Your nails dig into her skin and she moans from the pain.
“Fuck,” a choked moan. “Please. I'm so close.”
Shauna pouts, cooing at you. “You wanna cum?”
You nod, looking her right in the eyes. “Please.”
She goes impossibly faster, her hand releasing your jaw. She spit down onto your clit before she rubs it in harsh circles. Your movements aren’t in your autonomy, but fueled in your own pleasure. Your body arches in ways you never knew were possible, moaning her name.
“Im close.” You repeat. “Please let me cum.”
Shauna laments. “Okay. You can cum.”
Those words were like a flip had switched. With a few more thrusts, white hot pleasure shoots through your body and veins. You cum hard, coating her knife in your cum. She smiles, rubbing your clit softly and bringing her thrusts to a stop.
She helps you come down from your orgasm, waiting for you to relax before removing her hand from your clit, and her knife from your cunt. When she pulls it out, she first makes sure you’re looking before she starts licking it off.
She moans at the taste, then after being satisfied with the cleanliness of the hilt, she puts it away.
You knew the drill by now.
Shauna leaves you on the ground by yourself, tossing you a cut piece of cloth for you to clean yourself with.
You have to struggle back to the camp once you wipe up the remnants of your orgasm. Everyone knew by now never to question it when you came back like that.
They just allowed you to curl up and sleep while Shauna pretends everything is sunshine and rainbows.
Poly Jackie and Shauna getting possessive and jealous when another girl has Readers attention🙏🏻
remember where you belong
your girlfriends; shauna shipman and jackie taylor seem to get very possessive when you speak with other girls.
pairing ➥ jackieshauna x fem reader
warnings ➥ nsfw, possessive jackieshauna, no crash au, college au
A study partner was all the girl was, nothing less, nothing more. She’s smarter than you are, and she offered to help you when you were almost failing math. So of course, you both went to the library, where it would be quiet and you could both focus.
Coincidentally your two girlfriends also happened to be at the library at the time, maybe they were just following your location. You don’t notice until you feel a hand graze your back, and your eyes land on a certain ring on a hand that was resting on the table.
“Sweetheart, I didn’t expect you to be studying with another girl. I could’ve helped you with this.”
Shauna commented, flipping through the pages of your text book. Jackie stood behind you, giving a sly look to your poor classmate. You apologize under your breath as she excuses herself from the table. You were instantly embarrassed.
“What the hell, guys? I’m just trying to pass my final.”
Shauna gave you those eyes akin to a doe, a slight frown painted onto her face, you can’t help but feel bad about snapping at them. Jackie leaned on the table, the same look on her face. You furrowed your eyebrows, sick of the cruel joke being played on you.
“Aw, baby. Are you actually angry at us?”
Jackie cooed, letting out a sad hum when you turn your head away from them both, trying to focus on your school work. You can’t believe that they embarrassed you like that.
“Here, why don’t we make it up to you?”
Jackie closed the text book and pulled you out of your chair, Shauna trailing behind with your work in hand.
Just like that you’re leaned over the counter in Jackie’s apartment near the school, Shauna’s strap sinking in and out of your cunt with ease. Her nails dig into your ass, savoring every noise that comes from you. Jackie is on her knees on the counter in front of you, her back arched and shoving her tongue into your mouth in a messy make out session.
Of course it feels good, that’s what they want from you. At the same time jealousy is fueling their desire to get in your pants, wanting to prove a point that never needed to be proven.
“I bet that girl can’t fuck as well as us, right sweetheart?”
Shauna rambles out, whining at how wet you are around her fake dick. You audibly groan into Jackie’s mouth, still sick of their shit. Jackie breaks off the kiss, pinching your nipples cruelly.
“Cmon, we’re better. or are you thinking about her right now?”
Jackie asks, smirking at how much of a moaning mess you are. They enjoy having the ability to make you fold, making you get undone at their touch, it’s satisfying to wipe that pout off your face.
“No— Only you guys.. holy shit.”
You moan as Shauna circles your clit with her fingers, while picking up the pace of her thrusting. Jackie whimpers as she fingers herself, seeking out her own pleasure as well as yours.
“Tell us.. Tell us we’re better than any other girl you’ll ever talk to.”
Jackie babbles out through breathy moans, kissing down your neck, and biting down on your shoulders. Shauna whimpers at the sight of you two reaching orgasm, her grip on your thigh tightens, her own wetness becoming too much to bear.
“You both are better— than any girl i’ll ever talk too!”
You obey, gasping as an orgasm takes over your body. Jackie follows in suit, moaning as she comes down from her high. Shauna whines behind you both, pressing her thighs together. She exits your hole, rubbing your back as you slump on the counter. Once you compose yourself, you turn around and pounce onto Shauna, your lips crashing onto hers. Your fingers fumble the buckles on her strap, trying to pull it off.
Jackie comes up behind Shauna, helping you take off her strap. This time, she’s biting down onto Shauna’s shoulders, making her gasp into your lips. You guide to the counter, helping her up to sit down on top of it. You lower yourself in between her thighs, you lick up her slit, cherishing the moan that spills out her mouth.
“Prove to Shauna you love her, that you don’t like any other girl.”
You’ve tuned out Jackie’s rambling a while ago, annoyed at her jealous attitude. You latch onto Shauna’s clit, sucking on the bud. She whimpers, overwhelmed with the sensation of Jackie leaving marks on her neck, and you between her legs. She’s rendered speechless as you eat her out, slowly working her to her own high. After feeling so left out and neglected, she’s so grateful you’re proving to her that you love her as well.
She cums once your tongue enters her, mumbling out apologies for finishing so soon. You stand up to kiss her worries away, stroking the side of her thigh.
“Was that enough proof for you both, can we all get cleaned up now?”
They both nod quickly and rush off to the bathroom together, smiling ear to ear. As jealous as they can be, and downright cruel, you still love them.
horrible at writing dirty talk please ignore that.. anyways poly jackieshauna me next….
not being funny but if i gave birth without pain relief or a doctor after eating my best friend to stay alive and literally everyone in my life started praying to my dead baby and acting as if they have some ownership over and connection to him that i dont even get to feel because i had to hold his tiny dead body in my arms and accept i'd never get a chance to know him i would also probably become the villian
wc: 997
warnings: no smut but a little dirty
pairings: tate mcrae x fem!hockey player!reader
A/N: hii ik this is like TOTALLY different from what i usually write but im just unfortunately not motivated to write WBB right now. maybe soon i will be, but until then plsss bear with me!
It's hard to hate what you and Tate have. It's even harder to accept that what the two of you have is damaging for the both of you.
How could you admit that? Whenever you see her, your heart beats faster than it ever has for anyone else. The 'situationship' aspect of your relationship seems to fade with every night you spend together.
But you both know it would never work, no matter how hard you try.
Yet somehow, even after a year, you two always find your way back to each other.
The night started off like any normal night. You were at the NHL All-Star games in support of the boys you knew that were playing.
Also because you knew Tate would be performing. You couldn't pass up another opportunity to see her, no matter how bad you knew it would end.
Like every other time you two were in the same building, you always managed to find each other. That's how you ended up going back to your hotel, Tate's hand in yours as you waited for the elevator door to open to your floor.
The second you got in your room, things were heated. Her hands were in your hair, your lips were on her neck, your own hands roaming around her torso, legs, anywhere you could reach.
"This is such a bad idea," you muttered against her neck, but made no move to stop placing kisses up and down her skin.
Tate let out a soft sigh and tilted her head back. "Who cares.." she mumbled back, biting her lip softly.
You pulled back and gazed down at her, her hazel eyes somewhat piercing through your own. "Everyone but us, apparently."
Her arms came up around your neck. "Screw them," she breathed out, then pulled you down to connect her lips to your own.
It only escalated from there, the two of you now grinding slowly against each other, desperate for more, desperate to bury the fact that the two of you would probably never be more than this.
In a few quick motions, your head ended up between her thighs, her fingers tangled in your hair, nails scratching against your scalp with every movement of her hips against your face.
You had her reeling, shaking, muttering things for your ears to hear only. Both of you were on cloud nine, and you never wanted to come down.
But you had to.
She stayed the night, it was routine. You'd pretend that the next morning you'd be able to wake up next to her, cook a nice breakfast, and spend the rest of your hours together.
That was never the case. She had to leave, you both knew it.
You even walked her to the door, gazing down at her, feeling somewhat disappointed that she was leaving.
"I guess I'll see you next time," you mumbled as the door closed, leaving you alone once again.
When Tate got back to the hotel she was staying in, Stevie and Findlay, two of her backup dancers and closest friends, immediately pressed her with questions.
"Let me guess, you were with her? Again?" Findlay raised a brow at Tate.
"Haven't you learned your lesson, girl? You know it never works out, its just bad for you," Stevie sighed, propping her hands up on her head, laying flat on one of the beds.
Tate just rolled her eyes and flopped onto the other bed, next to Findlay. "We just hooked up, it's fine."
"But you spent the night. You're so attached to someone you literally only ever hook up with," Findlay crossed his arms. "It's bad for you."
"And every time you two try to connect online or something it's always so hit or miss from both of you, like girl, make up your mind," Stevie said.
It was clear that Tate didn't want to talk about this -- or you -- anymore, so she just buried her face in a pillow and groaned.
Ironic enough, you couldn't help but get tickets to her concert a few months later. You knew people on her team, and they knew you.
But instead of just hoping someone would let you back stage, you took initiative into your own hands.
You sent Tate a message on Instagram. "we should hang after your show"
Almost immediately she responded. "no, i'm done"
You knew she was lying. She always claimed she was done, but it would always end up with you two crawling back to each other.
"you always say that tate, just accept it, you'll never get tired of me"
That was the last message sent before the concert, but somehow, the two of you ended up right where you usually do. In one of your hotel rooms, dirty sounds echoing off the walls.
You spent the night and woke up the next morning to Tate laying next to you, staring up at the ceiling.
You stretched your arms above your head as you sat up and looked down at her. "You're never usually up before I am," you mumbled groggily.
Tate just shrugged before looking up at you. "I couldn't stay asleep anymore."
You nodded and watched her for a moment, watching a flicker of uncertainty flash behind her eyes,
"Guess it's time for me to leave," you hummed, slowly putting your legs over the side of the bed.
Everything in Tate was screaming at her to tell you to stay, that things should be different.
But she didn't. She let you get dressed, let her eyes rake over your body, toned from years of hard work, and she just craved you even more.
She craved every night with you. Every day, every meal, every event. She wanted you there. When you weren't around, she wished you were,, she wished you could be hers.
But alas, it would never work out. So you left, mumbling your words, "see you next time."
i’m back kinda it’s summer break so i wanna write more but lowkey don’t have motivation to write wbb rn :(
i know that’s what my account is centered around but i’ve lowkey burnt myself out of writing wbb fics
i would looooove to write some tate mcrae stuff if that’s something you guys would wanna see (even if you don’t i probably still will anyways oopsie) 😁😁
wc: 978
warnings: angsty but a happy ending!
pairings: nika muhl x fem!reader
A/N: omg im actually posting?? don't get used to this i go back to school soon and probably wont post anything til either spring break or the summer
Two Years Ago
You were pacing around your apartment, waiting for Nika to come over like she said she would.
Nika's been your unofficial girlfriend for a while, but you never put a label on what you had.
But she was leaving for the W soon, and you either wanted all or nothing with her.
A few minutes into your pacing, there was a knock on the door. You walked over and opened it, seeing Nika's smiling face. "You wanted to talk?" She said.
You nodded and invited her in. "Do you want anything to drink? Coffee or tea?"
Nika shook her head and sat down on your couch. "I'm okay, thank you."
A small sigh left your body as you went over and sat down, leaving a bit of space between the two of you just in case everything went south.
"What's this about?" She asked cautiously.
You took a deep breath and leaned back into the couch a little. "You're leaving soon, and-"
"That doesn't mean this has to end, if that's where you're going with this," Nika interjected.
A small frustrated sigh left your lips. "What even is this, Nika? Are we girlfriends? Or just casually fucking?" She stayed silent and you just scoffed. "It's your choice, either we put a label on this, or I'm done."
The last thing Nika wanted was to completely lose you, but she didn't like the ultimatum you were giving her. "That's not fair, I need to focus on basketball-"
"And just lead me on the whole time? Have me thinking we could be something more, even though we never will be?" You tried to keep your voice steady, but it was getting difficult.
She sighed and stood up. "I- I'm sorry, but I can't do this," she said before grabbing her things and walking to the door.
You stood up and watched her. She was so ready to leave, no hesitation. "So that's it then? You're just leaving?"
Nika's jaw twitched and she stared at you for a moment. "I"m sorry," she mumbled before opening the door and leaving, letting it close behind her.
You forced your eyes away from the door and looked out the window, watching the May atmosphere warming up the world, but it felt so cold in your apartment without Nika.
It hadn't been that long since Nika left for the W, and everyone already loved her. She charmed everyone she met, other players, fans, the media.
It's like she trained herself, got lessons on how to be a people person. She never was before. She was always polite, but kept to herself.
Except around you. You always were able to break down her walls and see what was really going on with her, how she really was.
But now you see this people pleaser on TV and social media, and all you can do is complain to your friends about it.
Two Summers from Now
After a while, you had managed to get over Nika. Well, more so over what happened with her.
You'd always have a soft spot for the girl, she saw you and supported you at your worst, and you could never stop loving her because of it.
It was ironic. You were about to head out to Seattle to visit some friends, and Nika was about to get on a plane back to Storrs to see her friends.
At this moment, you broke no contact with her. You sent her a text, hoping she didn't have you blocked, or that she didn't change her number.
You were a little surprised to see an answer from her short after you sent the message. The two of you ended up talking about life, realizing that just maybe, you could be cool with her.
She gave you some advice about Seattle, and you let her know how excited the other UConn girls would be to see her again.
The next few days went by in a blur. You were in Seattle, taking in the scenery, leaning out the window of your hotel and having a drink.
I love you, I'm Sorry
You were still in Seattle. You didn't realize that Nika had messaged your friends, asking what hotel you were at and your room number.
She came back early, and she wanted needed to see you before you left. She wanted to attempt to fix things.
Nika's feelings for you never left. She knew that she reacted badly when you told her what you wanted, and she wasn't sure that she could forgive herself for walking away so easily.
But she at least needed you to know that she still loved you.
At about 10pm that night, there was a knock on your hotel door. You looked over in confusion before getting up from your bed and walking over.
You opened the door, and it was like everything from the past few years came flooding back. "Nika?" You invited her inside. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to say sorry for everything. For the way I reacted back then, I was a dick about it, and you didn't deserver any of it," she said.
You were speechless, so she took it as her que to keep going. "I was the worst, and every time I go for a drive I think about the ones we used to take to clear our heads. I swear, it haunts me-" She cleared her through.
"Nika-" You said, but she cut you off.
"I still love you, I'm sorry." The words fell from her lips so effortlessly, you couldn't help but want to give in and see where it led.
So you did. You caved and rushed up to her, pressing your lips against hers.
It lasted for a few seconds before you rested your forehead against hers. "I love you, and I'm sorry, too."
wc: 978
warnings: angsty but a happy ending!
pairings: nika muhl x fem!reader
A/N: omg im actually posting?? don't get used to this i go back to school soon and probably wont post anything til either spring break or the summer
Two Years Ago
You were pacing around your apartment, waiting for Nika to come over like she said she would.
Nika's been your unofficial girlfriend for a while, but you never put a label on what you had.
But she was leaving for the W soon, and you either wanted all or nothing with her.
A few minutes into your pacing, there was a knock on the door. You walked over and opened it, seeing Nika's smiling face. "You wanted to talk?" She said.
You nodded and invited her in. "Do you want anything to drink? Coffee or tea?"
Nika shook her head and sat down on your couch. "I'm okay, thank you."
A small sigh left your body as you went over and sat down, leaving a bit of space between the two of you just in case everything went south.
"What's this about?" She asked cautiously.
You took a deep breath and leaned back into the couch a little. "You're leaving soon, and-"
"That doesn't mean this has to end, if that's where you're going with this," Nika interjected.
A small frustrated sigh left your lips. "What even is this, Nika? Are we girlfriends? Or just casually fucking?" She stayed silent and you just scoffed. "It's your choice, either we put a label on this, or I'm done."
The last thing Nika wanted was to completely lose you, but she didn't like the ultimatum you were giving her. "That's not fair, I need to focus on basketball-"
"And just lead me on the whole time? Have me thinking we could be something more, even though we never will be?" You tried to keep your voice steady, but it was getting difficult.
She sighed and stood up. "I- I'm sorry, but I can't do this," she said before grabbing her things and walking to the door.
You stood up and watched her. She was so ready to leave, no hesitation. "So that's it then? You're just leaving?"
Nika's jaw twitched and she stared at you for a moment. "I"m sorry," she mumbled before opening the door and leaving, letting it close behind her.
You forced your eyes away from the door and looked out the window, watching the May atmosphere warming up the world, but it felt so cold in your apartment without Nika.
It hadn't been that long since Nika left for the W, and everyone already loved her. She charmed everyone she met, other players, fans, the media.
It's like she trained herself, got lessons on how to be a people person. She never was before. She was always polite, but kept to herself.
Except around you. You always were able to break down her walls and see what was really going on with her, how she really was.
But now you see this people pleaser on TV and social media, and all you can do is complain to your friends about it.
Two Summers from Now
After a while, you had managed to get over Nika. Well, more so over what happened with her.
You'd always have a soft spot for the girl, she saw you and supported you at your worst, and you could never stop loving her because of it.
It was ironic. You were about to head out to Seattle to visit some friends, and Nika was about to get on a plane back to Storrs to see her friends.
At this moment, you broke no contact with her. You sent her a text, hoping she didn't have you blocked, or that she didn't change her number.
You were a little surprised to see an answer from her short after you sent the message. The two of you ended up talking about life, realizing that just maybe, you could be cool with her.
She gave you some advice about Seattle, and you let her know how excited the other UConn girls would be to see her again.
The next few days went by in a blur. You were in Seattle, taking in the scenery, leaning out the window of your hotel and having a drink.
I love you, I'm Sorry
You were still in Seattle. You didn't realize that Nika had messaged your friends, asking what hotel you were at and your room number.
She came back early, and she wanted needed to see you before you left. She wanted to attempt to fix things.
Nika's feelings for you never left. She knew that she reacted badly when you told her what you wanted, and she wasn't sure that she could forgive herself for walking away so easily.
But she at least needed you to know that she still loved you.
At about 10pm that night, there was a knock on your hotel door. You looked over in confusion before getting up from your bed and walking over.
You opened the door, and it was like everything from the past few years came flooding back. "Nika?" You invited her inside. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to say sorry for everything. For the way I reacted back then, I was a dick about it, and you didn't deserver any of it," she said.
You were speechless, so she took it as her que to keep going. "I was the worst, and every time I go for a drive I think about the ones we used to take to clear our heads. I swear, it haunts me-" She cleared her through.
"Nika-" You said, but she cut you off.
"I still love you, I'm sorry." The words fell from her lips so effortlessly, you couldn't help but want to give in and see where it led.
So you did. You caved and rushed up to her, pressing your lips against hers.
It lasted for a few seconds before you rested your forehead against hers. "I love you, and I'm sorry, too."