@jasperaltieri !
❛ –– – see, it’s not that hard! just gotta rock ‘em a lil ––– & voilà. no more cryin’. easy as pie, i swear. ❜
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@jasperaltieri-blog
@jasperaltieri !
❛ –– – see, it’s not that hard! just gotta rock ‘em a lil ––– & voilà. no more cryin’. easy as pie, i swear. ❜
baby loving bunny:
❛ exactly! look at his face, jasp––– absolutely adorable. he’s jus’ cranky. doesn’t hate you at all! you can do this, no problem.❜
‘ yeah, no, he’s– he’s cute. i’m just not sure the feeling is exactly mutual. y’know ? i guess he doesn’t seem that unhappy about me, though. ’
mom bunny:
❛ they don’t hate ya! you just… gotta put on a SMILE & act as if you know what you’re doin, yeah? here–––– you take him. remember; nothing but some light rockin’ from side –– to side, & there ya go! ❜
‘ well, i mean, it seems like they do. maybe they just don’t trust in my capabilities to take care of them. –––– uh, okay. i, uh– i just– just rock him. right ? okay. ’
the most lovable:
❛ why? –– because i’m so lovable? PLEASE. i’m not nearly as strict as i should be. a kid could be off eating decade old glue & i’d only tell him off if he came near me with those clammy little hands. way to rain on the parade, altieri. ❜
‘ well, you’re not unlovable. are you saying you don’t like the kids ? –– sorry if child neglect isn’t exactly on my list of hobbies, though i’m sure we’ll be getting plenty more of them in first aid if this drought lasts any longer. ’
bad communicator:
❛ do you seriously believe i’ll buy that half-assed diversion? ❜
‘ i thought you might take it as an easy out, maybe. you’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t like talking, right ? ’
baby silencer:
@jasperaltieri !
❛ –– – see, it’s not that hard! just gotta rock ‘em a lil ––– & voilà. no more cryin’. easy as pie, i swear. ❜
‘ yeah –– i guess. i don’t know, i’m pretty sure they just hate me. if i hold a baby for longer than five seconds they start screaming, one literally tried to roll out of my arms. but they obviously love you. ’
fake deep:
@jasperaltieri said ☁ ( e.v.o.l by marina & the diamonds )
‘ it only takes a drop of evil to fuck up two beautiful people. ‘
‘ you think so ? i mean –– i think most people can make it through anything if they try hard enough. ’
gossip column editor:
‘ ‘s that why you ask so many questions about everyone else? — — jasper altieri’s secretly running a valdez gossip column ‘cause his own life is a little slow? ’
‘ what ? –– do i– do i really come across as that nosy ? ’
since i’ve been at my mom’s, i wanted to get rid of him. but you were right. you can’t destroy a part of yourself.
princess bunny:
❛ well, do other people say you are? that’s how i know i’m plenty. fun that is! as long as you keep the medical talk to yourself–– i can’t see why not! maybe one, or two reasons… but those are just minor details. NO BIGGIE. ❜
‘ yeah, there won’t be a problem there. but i don’t think i’ve ever actually been called fun, more of the opposite, actually. which, uh– doesn’t really help my case. but like i said –– i can try. ’
fun bunny ?:
❛ –– – you any FUN? ❜
‘ i don’t know if i’m necessarily fun, but, uh– i could try to be ? i guess it kind of depends on your definition of fun. ’
hoe bunny:
❛ no, he doesn––– i was just making an example, that’s all. a hypothetical one, yeah? because nothin’ actually happened! but… if it does, & it means so much to ya –– you’d be the first one i’d tell. how you like that? ❜
‘ yeah, sounds good. and, uh– listen, if you need help with anything, like at all, i’m here. i’m not saying you’ll need it or anything, but just in case. i know it can be tough adjusting and all that. i could show you around or something, if you don’t already know the area. and i’m not always this serious, so you don’t have to worry about that. ’
50s housewife:
❛ ––– – & what’s that supposed to mean? ❜
‘ i just –– i don’t know. forget it, it doesn’t matter. sorry. –– – how are, uh– how are things at work ? ’