im sorry in advance if some things don’t make sense, im still feeling like a mess that ep really did a number on me;-;
i think what really got me was that so far we have never seen someone as kind as takaaki getting that upset before, to the point where he became physically violent.
and that goes for hiro as well.
two young men who let their emotions get the best of them after months of running away from their problems and calling each other out on it, when they weren’t in the right headspace and both battling with their own inner struggles. hypocrisy, to put it bluntly…
we have takaaki, who i assume has been dealing with guilt of some sort (making assumptions for now since we don’t have the full story yet, it seems), guilt over running away from his family after his kid brother’s death, over not going to visit his grave for reasons we’ve yet to know, and so on… what i can confidently say is that, it’s complicated.
meanwhile, hiro is scared. he’s scared of dying, so much that he’d rather look away and pretend everything is fine (which is understandable…).
he keeps putting off his hospital appointment, because if he goes, and the doctor tells him the same thing he did six months ago and this time takaaki is with him to hear it, there’s no running away from that anymore—funny thing is, it didn’t matter that much to him back then, but that was before knowing how fun fishing is and how warm and fuzzy dinners at the back of Everymart and a friend’s kindness feel. that might be what he is afraid of losing, along with his life.
and maybe, just maybe… thinking that takaaki might care and worry about him only out of guilt for the little brother he couldn’t save hurts way more than hiro can admit but i wouldn’t be too sure. takaaki’s always been super kind from the start, before finding out about hiro’s disease. (btw i still can’t think of a reasonable explanation for why he offered to take care of his debt and live at his home without asking for much in return, so that hiro, who he barely knew at the time, could get a fresh start…)
whoops im kinda straying from what i initially wanted to talk about and went off on a tangent but im not even really sorry these two lads and their relationship mean so much to me—
anyways. back to their fight… hopefully i still have a few somewhat coherent thoughts left in me but that would be overestimating my cognitive abilities…
cuz now all i can think about is how darn attractive takaaki looked during the whole scene—
and how when i said i wanted to see him pin hiro against the wall this isn’t exactly the context i had in mind…:(
genuinely wondering how come fictional men get ten times hotter the more miserable they feel… that’s crazy…
i want them to talk it out in the next ep. have a real, calm heart to heart. and a fucking hug
boy i need them to hug like their lives depend on it im so serious.
also huge props to hiro’s voice actor because holy shit these cries were gut wrenching i felt them in my soul—